Writing Prompts

“You clearly lied, but I understand why you would.”

"Oh dear, little human. You're a long way from home."

"Oh. I was hoping for a better villain."

"Excuse me?!"

"First day jitters?"

"Don't tell me people get used to this sort of job!"

"You'd be surprised."

"Killing me won't bring him back, you know."

"It won't. But it'll make me feel really, really good."

"That's not a demon, dummy. That's an angel. And they're much worse."

"I'd rather be your second choice than someone else's first. That's bad, isn't it?"

"So that's it? We're all just toys to you?"

"Toys? No, no, no, not toys! Peons... ants.... hostages, maybe... but never toys! How could I be so careless with you?"

(Here you are!)

1.

"Here comes the coolest person in the world. My wife."

2.

"Listen, I've known you a long time. I know when something is wrong. You don't have to tell me what happened, but let me in, okay?"

3.

"The best part about splitting up was definitely falling for you all over again."

4.

"Oh no. You're giving me the look. What did I do this time?"

5.

"Honest question: what would you do if you found out your wife slapped someone?"

"I'd slap them too. I trust her judgement."

6.

"Of course I can trust you to embarrass me, even at a place like this."

7.

"It's hard to feel doomed with someone always in my corner, y'know?"

8.

"You've really changed. Sometimes I can't see the person you used to be at all."

"You should see yourself."

"Heh. I think I like us better."

"You're an assassin, not a bully. Get real already."

(Thank you! I think this is what you meant by dark humour prompts? Here's a few for ya:)

1.

"So... you know that thing we talked about last night? That moment when we found ourselves alone and bonded over what we have?"

"Our debts?"

"No! Our feelings."

"Oh yeah! Of regret."

2.

"Of all the bridges I burned, you were the best. A real Golden Gate. Best bridge I ever burned."

3.

They spat blood. "Still alive, ya bozo. You better not butcher my funeral as bad as my death."

4.

"Watch your mouth around those guys, or you'll be knocking on heaven's door by the end of the week."

"You're a little optimistic about my afterlife, but I'll keep that in mind."

5.

"Your friends wanted you to know --"

"My what?"

"Er, your allies? Underlings? Superiors? I'm not familiar with your dynamic. I meant the annoying ones who were following you."

"Ah, my circling vultures."

6.

"Do you really think that's a good plan?"

"It saves the day and it kills me. Win/win."

"Are potions real here?"

"What?"

"You know, brewing potions that have effects on the drinker?"

"...Medicine?"

"The first step to getting something is to want it more than anything else in the world."

"And the next?"

"Your nemesis? No. I am nothing of yours, and you are nothing of mine. We fight. That is all."

"You can try, but it'll take a lot more than a knife to kill me."

"No, it won't."

"Are all your friends as broody as this one?"

If he was living on borrowed time, then sucks to be whoever he borrowed it from. He never returned things he borrowed.

"Who's that?"

"That's my... someone."

"Your someone?"

"Just someone."

"Your special someone?"

"You were waiting for me this whole time?"