Humanicorn

*something minimally embarrassing happens on a light hearted tv show*

me to myself, covering my eyes with a blanket: "don't worry baby it's not real, it's only actors. In real life embarrassing things don't actually happen"

this is what you guys get for naming ships in your show in such a stupid way

same energy

holy trinity

The fourth horseman

Here’s another for yall

Hey why can’t I reblog this

wait this post is a no-note bungus

A functional fucking website

They have nine beverages between the two of them

i have that painting ai app on my phone so i went ahead and took the liberty…

What they have are five beverages and four waters. Water, by definition, cannot be a beverage.

The fuck do you mean water cant be a beverage?

me, watching the election: why tf is dracula trending rn

twitter:

(via @wickedoswald)

Weird peeve time. Calling lab grown gemstones "fake" is stupid because it's the same shit just not formed naturally. An artificially grown diamond is the same shit as a natural diamond it is the exact same material bro it's all fuckign carbon

It's carbon it's pretty and it didn't involve slave labor what's not to love??? Hi I'm having geology opinions tonight apparently. And I'm right

There is so much bullshit in the diamonds industry to be mad about tbh. It also ties into the bullshit of the wedding industry as a whole but we don't have the time to unpack all that

Unpopular opinion from a Jeweler but:

Like if you want a clear stone go with a white sapphire. Go with moissanite. Diamonds are so fucking bland, you put light through them and they have no real spirit. Ffs, don't buy diamonds. Just because it's an old industry doesn't mean it isn't still a scam.

In retrospect I’d like to now declare this the funniest fucking Tweet of all time 

Whatever helps him sleep at night; I guess ?😂

I was very okay and even proud of the English for this right up until "crinkle crankle"

I love that they saved that until the very last moment.

It's like being hugged and then immediately punched in the face after.

Sometimes on the subway we time travel.

It’s the question mark that makes it exquisite.  The future is not an exact science.

Look we’re not exactly sure what day it is yet- but fuck if it isn’t a Monday

Mood. -V

This reminds me of a party I went to last year. I was standing with some friends, chatting, and someone said something that indirectly implied that sexism exists. Some trivial recounting of the basic facts of daily life for most women. Something so mild, so uncontroversial, so mundane that I don’t even remember what it was. 

Suddenly, this man standing on the outskirts of our conversational circle piped up with “actually, I think men are more discriminated against than women these days.”

 All conversation died.

I turned to look at him and he had this smug, insufferable grin on his face, relishing this moment, expecting us to waste our time and energy refuting this ridiculous thing he had just said.

The Devil’s Advocate was among us.

And, in my mind, I saw the next 15+ minutes playing out. The parade of facts and statistics in a vain attempt to defend ourselves, our gender, and to prove that misogyny is real. The glib, snide denials from some shithead who is getting off on our pain and frustration. The Gish Gallop of bullshit that would take a whole evening to properly dismantle. It was depressing and overwhelming. I hated it. I had to kill it before it began.

So I looked him dead in the eye and I said “OK,“ shrugged, and just walked away. 

Nothing I have ever said to another human being has ever been so crushing. As I walked away, I watched the smug grin vanish and confusion and anxiety set in. The rest of the group turned their backs to him and carried on as if he had never spoken - as if he was invisible. He was still staring at me when I walked over to another friend and told her what he had said. I pointed him out for her and made direct eye contact with him while we both laughed.

tl;dr: Don’t feed the troll. Let it perish, cold and hungry, in the wasteland of your indifference. It is weak and you are strong. Live your best life.

This is the most hilarious thing and the best advice I’ve ever read on this damned hellsite.

As someone I respect very much has written on more than one occasion, you don’t have to engage in every argument you are invited to.

ig: fillofeya

this is so funny i

"Cyrofreeze me until march 2020" is the saddest and funniest twitter username, I am so sorry for them

from Toby Fox’s message to INDIE Live Expo 2020

i suddenly remembered Toby Fox’s message to INDIE Live Expo earlier this year, particularly this part about how smiles can “save someone’s day,” and thinking about that now in conjunction to the Undertale concert and how happy it made me & my friends despite how rough life has been lately is making me weepy all over again

i thought she was supposed to be dumb

“well, it seems we are at an impasse.”

“so we are. carry on, cat”

“same to you, bird.”

They literally were in an awkward situation

I love how the bird leaves like “well, I best be hitting the dusty trail”

I will reblog this every time.

every time I see this I just picture myself in the position of the person taking video and I can perfectly hear the internal dialogue I would be having, which would go: is today the day I fight a bald eagle over my cat? am I about to have to punch the bird that is america in the face over my cat??? is that how today is going to go???

It’s ironic because they don’t look at US as real people. 

remember that members of congress have the blood of innocent people on their hands

I do not remember liking this, but clearly past me has good taste

 Cisco being distracted by Pokémon thoughts.

{+Bonus}:

impostors should be able to read ghost chat. imagine how much more fun it'd be to go "who killed my friend? ):" and see them shouting at you from beyond the grave

they should also be able to see the ghosts

I already enjoy haunting imposters that kill me but could you imagine being chased around the ship by angry souls who can do nothing more that slightly inconvenience you and shout at you

hamlet