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Full storyline: Journal pt1, pt2, pt3, pt4, pt5, pt6, pt7

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had a genuine revelation in therapy that made me burst out laughing, been a while since I had one of those

therapist was talking about urge surfing (the idea that urges are waves that come and go if you ride them out, so the more you delay acting on the urge, the more likely you are not to do it) and then I was talking about how the transient nature of my emotions is actually what gets me so mad, like it’s actually very very annoying to be so so sad but to also be thinking “I know I’m very sad right now but unfortunately I am going to feel better later so I can’t destroy my life for one minute’s gratification,” and it’s just so annoying because if I knew or at least believed that I was gonna be sad FOREVER it would make things much easier, but instead I’m so mad at the knowledge that this too will pass. like it’s a manifestation of weak will to not feel bad forever.

and my therapist was like, “so even at the worst times, you still have hope”

and I was like “holy shit dude” because never once in my life have I considered that the little bastard voice that tells me not to smash all the dishes because they’ll be a pain in the ass to clean up in ten minutes is the last gift/curse of Pandora’s box

hope is a thing with wings, i.e. a bird and like most birds is 1) very beautiful, 2) very annoying, and 3) sometimes shits on you

ngl I thought the puzzle piece as an autistic symbol meant like. I am a vital puzzle piece to your society. humans would never have invented half the things they did without us. you're telling me it means I'm missing something?? buddy. listen. listen to me reeeeaal closely. no human has all the pieces to humanity. no one. no one has all the features enables no one has all the strengths weaknesses or quirks. no one has a whole puzzle. we make the freaking complete picture together. that's the freaking point.

Neurotypicals are encouraged to reblog this btw but if you think I'm broken for being autistic I'll break your bones

Bringing this back celebrate autism and the vital diversity of humanity with me by burning Autism Speaks to the ground

URGENT: Congress about to pass a mass censorship and surveillance bill under the guise of "protecting children"

May 13 2023

The Senate has been in a "do something!" mode regarding children's online safety. They're using this as an excuse to push for widespread internet censorship and surveillance. I already spoke about the EARN IT Act, which has a slimmer chance of passing with widespread opposition and a few senators saying they won't vote for it. The real threat is actually KOSA (s.1409), the Kid's Online Safety Act. It does two primary things:

First, KOSA pressures platforms to install filters that would wipe the net of anything deemed “inappropriate” for minors. This means instructing platforms to censor. We saw how these filters impacted websites firsthand with tumblr in 2018, with not only blocking all adult content but also sfw queer content such as suicide hotlines, art archives, wiping out entire blogs because they had queer fandom related posts, etc. Places that already use content filters have restricted important information about suicide prevention and LGBTQ+ support groups. KOSA would spread this kind of censorship to every corner of the internet. And who gets to decide what is and isn't harmful for minors? Oh don't worry, just every single state attorney general and the FTC, which is appointed by the president. You know, the same attorney generals that just banned gender-affirming healthcare under the guise that it "ruins mental health" of minors. This is why the Heritage Foundation was one of the first to sponsor the bill because they can use it to censor trans content, and Senator Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee is it's co-author.

Second, KOSA would ramp up the online surveillance of all internet users by forcing websites to use age verification and parental monitoring tools. Yup, that's right. Now every single person who wants to access the internet has to upload their govt ID online to third party apps that get hacked all the time. You queer in a red state? You undocumented? You an activist? Have fun getting all your online activity and metadata attached to your govt ID.  

Over 90+ human and LGBT rights groups agree that KOSA is dangerous and updates to the 2023 version won’t and can’t address the big problems with the bill. This bill has MASSIVE bipartisan support, and the authors Blumenthal and Blackburn (yes, that Blumenthal that's pushing the EARN IT Act, and who also sponsored the RESTRICT Act and SOPA/PIPA if you remember) are using the tragedy of mothers who lost their kids to online harassment and young adults who've been traumatized online to lobby for it, and got Dove the company to use a bunch of influencers to push for this under the guise it prevents eating disorders...I wish I was lying. There are already 30 co-sponsors.

HOW TO FIGHT KOSA
  1. CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVES & THE COMMERCE COMMITTEE

Opposition is getting drowned, and these upcoming weeks will be heavy for lobbying and they're using young people to do it. We NEED to show these senators that young people are actually opposed to this and don't want it.

2. Sign these petitions

  1. Open Letter Against KOSA
  2. Petition 1
  3. Petition 2
  4. Petition 3
  5. Petition 4
  6. Resistbot: Text PHJDYH to 50409

3. Spread the word.

The opposition is getting absolutely drowned online. Dove has nearly 100k signatures to push for KOSA. Influencers on tiktok are pushing for this without ever having read the bill. Fucking Lizzo is sponsoring it. If you have twitter, reddit, tiktok, are in any community, SPREAD THE WORD, PLEASE.

Here is a linktree with all the above petitions for easy shargin: Link to linktree

I initially thought this could be a positive thing without seeing the stipulations attached…yikes. Protecting minors shouldn’t involve surveillance of literally everyone.

“You plant your own garden instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. In other words, take responsibility for your own needs and your own happiness.”

Maggi Myers, The Final Piece

I just want to talk for a moment how little people understand about Asexuality and for that matter Aromanticism out side of the aspec community.

I was looking at the books in Kmart today and saw one to do with LGBTQ+ and wanted to see if they included Asexuality and what they said about only to see this.

Now I don’t know if I’m having a Karen moment but the way they define Asexuality was basically someone who “do not feel like having sex with others” instead of someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. Asexuality is about the attraction aspect, not the action.

Asexuality is such a broad and expansive orientation not only for the micro labels including demi, flux/fluid, grey, litho, abro, ficto etc, but also the spectrum within that from being sex positive/favourable to neutral /indifferent to negative/repulsed. Adding on to this is the romantic orientation whether it be hetero, homo, Aro, Aro spec, bi, pan etc and the different types of attraction including alterous and queer platonic.

The idea that ace people are simply people who don’t desire sex is completely misunderstanding and misinterpreting what it means to be asexual and can lead discourse within the ace community especially to those who are sex favourable. You see this a lot in media with few of the asexual characters not being interested in sex and that is what makes them asexual instead of the lack of sexual attraction.

Sorry for my rant and Karen moment, just kinda got annoyed.

if someone talk in way that is hard understand or " word salad " , and want answer with something snarky or rude : should not , actually ! if can not think anything to say , should just not say anything .

at best , maybe engage with spam bot and get harmless laugh . but at worst , hurt actual person , who could have hard time for reasons like :

  • very tired
  • not sober
  • brain injury
  • active psychosis
  • active mania
  • AAC user ( hi ! )
  • cognitive disabilities in general
  • and more !

should just be nice . hurt very much when make sincere effort communicate , but people just point and laugh because seem loopy and broken .

Can women be twinks? Can men be butch? Instead of asking these incredibly niche questions ask yourself this, if they weren't allowed to do so, who would you have enforcing that ruling? and then, I hope this kind of re-framing opens your eyes about how silly that would be, to enforce as such. But really, this is what they mean when they say "kill the cop in your head." What good does it do you to try and police people more?

hey idk who needed to hear this but. being able to push yourself to function through pain does not, in fact, make you able bodied

if you were able bodied you wouldn’t be in pain at all. btw.

to be clear it is normal to be sore/have some pain if you’re doing high stress stuff like long runs, exercising, heavy lifting, etc etc. but if you’re in pain because you Walked or Stood Up. that’s not how your body is supposed to work.

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idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine

scientist when you don't take the medicine they developed to help your pain

ao3 is not instagram, and it’s not embarrassing to comment on a story that’s old. we understand that you just happened to come across it now; writing is magical in that you often come across the right story at just the time you need to read it.

also, authors will literally cry over their keyboard if you comment on the stuff they write.

The response to "ace people are just virgins who can't get laid!" Shouldn't be "ace people can still have sex!" but instead " being a virgin isn't a bad thing."

The response to "aro people are just heartless freaks!" Shouldn't be "aro people can still feel love!" And instead be "not feeling love or other emotions doesn't make you a bad person."

Instead of pushing the idea that aspec people can be "normal like allos" we should instead be trying to normalize aspec experiences. Yes aspec people can be normal because aspec identities are normal. Some aros fall in love. some aces have sex. but they should not be the only valid aspec experiences. We should not use these experiences to make the aspec identity more palatable to amatonormativity and allos.

FYI if an autistic person autonomously chooses to identify with/as:

  • High/low functioning
  • Severely/profoundly autistic
  • Person with autism
  • Mildly autistic
  • Lower on the spectrum or higher on the spectrum

That is absolutely fine.

The problem with these labels is that they are usually forced onto us by others classifying us incorrectly by misinterpreting what the autism spectrum is.

If an autistic person (or person with autism) personally chooses to identify with these terms there is absolutely no problem as that is their personal experience with being autistic. It is coming FROM an autistic experience not trying to FORCE an autistic person to conform.

[Image ID: White text in a Galaxy background reads If you: Derail my posts; are an “aspie”; run a sh/ed blog; are under 16; are a TERF; think cripplepunk is for mental disabilities; think that autism isn’t a disorder; are pro-transabled, trace, transage, etc; are pro-map or pro-zoo; are a transmed; want to completely demedicalize autism, I will probably block or mock you. End ID]

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Sick sick sick of possibility of being fucking recorded every waking second by tiktok obsessed quasi celebs. Video titled something like "Caught him thinking he's the main character" but it was just a kid wearing headphones, looking out the bus window. Of course it was posted without his knowledge. Stop recording strangers and everything you see, nobody gives a shit and not everyone is happy to be on tiktok or youtube because of a moron with no braincells and an account. What could be a forgettable awkward moment is now permanently there for the victim of lackabrainis infested idiot to get anxious about forever.

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Okay, this seems like a relevant thing to share today: I've been in this position. Back in college while on that student lifestyle, I somehow ended up with a pretty bad iron deficiency. How bad? I was not only sleeping too much, I was falling asleep everywhere -- in class, in the library, in cafes five minutes after drinking coffee. It was terrible. Anyway, during a class I enjoyed, I was sat at a table with a few classmates, and I started falling asleep while taking notes; nodding off, dropping my pen, startling awake and falling asleep again, until my head was on the table. No one seemed to mind, we were all going through it I guess, and my lecturer was nice enough not to make a big deal out of it.

Cut to the next day and I was in the Students Union, when a friend came up to me and told me how funny that video was of me falling asleep in class was. What? I asked her about it, what did she mean, who made the video, and she realised I literally had no clue about it. Kindly, she told me who to talk to and I thanked her. I was already upset, but I knew it wasn't the messenger's fault. So, I took to Facebook and messaged the girl who made the video -- a girl on my table in the class from before. I asked her about it, and she admitted it right away -- she took the video on her phone during class and posted it to her snapchat. That's how the other girl saw it, not to mention countless others.

Sorting this out was an absolute toil. I felt betrayed and violated that someone would do that while I was obviously not in a position to have any say about it. I lost friendships with the people who took the girl's side, as if it was no big deal or "funny". I had to tell the lecturer about it, because let's face it, that's a shit thing to allow to happen during class itself, the department moved to be more alert and proactive about restricting phone use in class, and all that girl had to do was give a half-hearted apology. The next semester, she was still openly using her phone in another class we had.

For a long time, I couldn't trust anyone who held their phone up around me, as if to take photos or video. It would make me so anxious and put me on edge. I never did speak to the people who cosigned her behaviour, who acted like it wasn't their problem that their bff video-recorded a person in class over their health condition without their consent.

I did eventually grow out of my anxiety around phones, and I resisted the urge to break that girl's phone, but, I will absolutely bring back that energy if I see someone record a stranger in public without their consent. Take it from someone who's been that target -- if you think it's okay, you deserve to get your shit wrecked.

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I just want to add, in case anyone reads this and isn't sure -- yes, it is absolutely fine to reblog this, and in fact I encourage you to. If testimony from a former target of this behaviour is the one thing that makes it click for anyone thinking of doing it, if it makes them reconsider before potentially ruining a stranger's life, then my experience will be worth it for me.

Don't record strangers and put that shit on the Internet or social media without their consent.

a "friend" of mine posted a video of me online once when I was in a psychotic episode. I was actively struggling and she thought it was funny to film me while I was hallucinating and talking to thin air while in an active delusion. I still struggle when people hold their phones up. a few months ago I was out with my friend and I looked really good and I felt really confident and I was just sat having coffee outside when a man walked past obviously fucking filming me. I was immediately reminded of that tiktok thing "pov you're a girl in a skirt/you're a girl in public" where girls would show men filming them and staring at them. i went from feeling cool and confident to feeling like public property. and I remembered being filmed while in an episode and got paranoid my friend wasn't real and this man was filming me because I was the haha funny crazy person talking to an empty chair because that had fucking happened to me before.

you film that homeless man laughing to himself and talking to an empty space? yeah he's probably psychotic. you film someone having a meltdown and screaming at nothing? probably also psychotic. you are taking advantage of someone's most vulnerable state and you think its funny and you want to get Internet clout for filming them. youre a piece of shit if you do that. I went from feeling safe around my old friend, feeling unjudged, feeling supported, to feeling used and unsafe and judged.

this shit overwhelmingly affects disabled, sick and mentally ill people. cut it the fuck out. the next time you think it would be funny to film the weird old lady talking to the trees, take a second and consider: would you like to have your most vulnerable moments immortalised on camera?

To add a reminder: There are also folks out there who are possibly running from a bad relationship who don't want to be found. You are actively putting those people in danger by filming and posting them online for their abusers to see.

You can never know a person's situation. Filming someone without their consent could be downright damaging and dangerous. Everyone deserves a right to privacy. DON'T TAKE VIDEO OR PHOTOS OF PEOPLE WITHOUT THEIR CONSENT!