if you give me a task with no deadline i will literally never do it but if you give me a deadline i will get it done exactly 1 hour before the deadline even if the deadline is in six years

#this is ADHD#or possibly another executive function disorder but ADHD is the only one I really know about#the reason for this is an ADHD brain does not have an internal feedback system#ADHD brains require external input to make up for missing executive functions#like the ability to process multi-step tasks with delayed consequences#because to an ADHD brain#things don’t exist in the absence of consequences#meaning#people with ADHD are drawn to things like video games because the feedback is external and immediate#every action you take has an immediate effect on the game environment#and you can SEE that your actions are providing xp or moving a task towards completion#but for something like homework#the consequences of that homework being done do not exist until that homework must be turned in#and it’s either done or not done at that point#which is why people with ADHD function best closest to deadlines#the consequences of that work being done must be IMMEDIATE to compel the brain to see it as a task that requires completion#because the further out a task is from the consequences of it being done#the more an ADHD brain is incapable of acknowledging it#TASKS DO NOT EXIST TO YOU UNLESS THERE IS IMMEDIATE EXTERNAL FEEDBACK#THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH ADHD BECAUSE TO OTHER PEOPLE IT DOES LOOK LIKE LAZINESS#BUT A LAZY PERSON JUST WOULDN’T DO THE TASK AT ALL#AND ADHD PERSON STRESSES THEMSELVES HALF TO DEATH TO GET THINGS DONE#BUT ISN’T CAPABLE OF STARTING THEM EARLIER TO PREVENT THE STRESS#BECAUSE THE TASK DOES NOT EXIST UNTIL IT NEEDS TO BE EITHER DONE OR NOT DONE#IT’S KIND OF LIKE SCHRODINGER’S BOX#THE TASK DOESN’T HAVE TO BE DONE OR NOT DONE UNTIL THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES FOR ITS STATE OF COMPLETION#so what LOOKS like laziness to other people#is actually a VERY SERIOUS FAILURE of the brain’s executive function system#which is a VERY serious medical problem#the name ‘Attention Deficit Disorder’ really fails to sell how serious the disorder actually is via @thecuckoohaslanded

god dammit my tags got cut off AGAIN I’m hitting the tag limit on like every post lately, I really need to work on that

Anyway I went on to say that there are 5 major executive functions of the human brain.  These are the ‘higher functions’ that really distinguish between a human brain and that of any other animal.  We have added intelligence on top of that, but these are the functional abilities our brains have that the rest of the animal kingdom does not have on a a structural level.  There are 5 of them.  ADHD affects all 5.  And none of them are actually ‘attention’ (the closest function to anything that can reasonably be called ‘attention’ is what’s called Working Memory, which is your brain’s ability to hold a specific task in mind to come back to it; distractions are inevitable, but a healthy brain will hear a phone ring, look up, and remember to go back to what it was doing before.  An ADHD brain will hear the phone riBANG ALL MEMORY OF THE CURRENT TASK IS GONE.  ADHD brain looks up, sees the name on the caller id, oh it’s an unknown number, oh it’s probably some political pollster, oh man this year’s election is just awful I can’t believe people are supporting that angry cheeto. Oh cheetos I’m hungry I should go make a snack.  What kind of snacks do we have?  Did I remember to buy cereal at the store the other day?  What about dog food?  Oh my god I forgot to let the dog back in the house this is why I should have gotten a cat.  Oh my friend sent me a great cat video earlier I should watch that.  AND GUESS WHAT YOU NEVER GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING BECAUSE THE STRUCTURE IN YOUR BRAIN THAT SUPPORTS RETURNING TO A PARTIALLY COMPETED TASK DOES NOT EXIST THE WAY IT DOES FOR A NORMAL HEALTHY BRAIN.  This is why even if you start a task well before a deadline you can’t keep to it until it’s been completed; the consequences of it being done MUST be more compelling than everything else in the immediate environment for the brain to see it.  No matter how much time you give yourself to complete the task, if you have ADHD it will take you 100% of that time, every time, which is why having ADHD actually TEACHES YOU to put things off, because it’s the only way to shorten the total time actually spent completing the task – the disorder rewards you for self-destructive behavior because it’s the only way you can get things done at all, and you end up living in a permanent state of extreme stress, hopping from one emergency deadline to the next even though you hate yourself for it every single time).  The disorder has been horribly named in a way that trivializes just how serious and life-ruining it actually is.

ADHD is a very, very serious disorder and the pop psych/common understanding of it makes it seem HORRIBLY trivial compared to the real damage it actually does to people’s lives.

…ohhh…

This is both fascinating and… possibly slightly alarming.

@birbhubby this is really interesting reading.

I’m reblogging this again with a couple of book recs because I’m seeing a lot of people having lightbulb moments on my dash. 

You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid? - One of the oldest books on ADHD/ADD in adults and a classic.

Driven to Distraction - Another classic and a great place to start.

Make sure you pick up the latest editions since our understanding of ADHD/ADD has changed a lot since those were first published.

If anyone needs further books recs or help finding specific resources, feel free to IM me or send me an ask. I’m not totally up to date on current stuff, but I’ve had my diagnoses for almost 30 years and totally count as experienced old fart now. XD

STEVEN J. HYDE IS AN ACTUAL FEMINIST:

  • Openly admires Donna’s search for freedom and empowerment.
  • Deeply respects Kitty’s job as a nurse, mother and wife. Constantly helps her with house chores, food and fixing things around her house.
  • Eric assumes Donna will be a stay at home wife and will take care alone of the babies, to which he answers with: “Donna, man. Forman’s just limited by his experiences. As the voice of a new generation of smart, independent women, you need to make this dillhole realize that a mind and spirit like yours has more options than your mothers had.”
  • Immediately calls out Kelso on his bullshit when he cheats on Jackie and is the first one to step in to defend her when everyone else tries to make her feel bad all the time.
  • Thinks Jackie, a girl he doesn’t like, should and can do better than Kelso. Constantly tells her this and is disappointed at her getting back together with the cheater.
  • Believes Donna’s decision of not accepting Eric’s promise ring are right ones and supports her during the break up, even when Eric is his best friend/brother.
  • Punches assholes that call other girls names and want to use them only for sex.
  • Firmly believes women should not be only breeders or depend on a man, things that later he let Jackie know by telling her she should and can work for her own nice stuff.
  • Also reminds her he is NOT like Eric, and will happily cherish her in her success in the career of her choice. He won’t mind her being more successful than him and winning more than him.
  • Stands up for Brooke when asshole Kelso decides he won’t do anything about Betsy when he first hears the news about Brooke’s pregnancy. Makes him get some reason and do right by her and their unborn child.
  • DOES support Jackie’s career, even when they aren’t together at the moment and steps aside so she can success and be happy on her own.

anyone else get the constant fear that there are unspoken social rules you dont know about (especially in new situations, like when i first started taking the bus, i was afraid i was doing it wrong lol) so youre just always on edge and kind of… watching how other people act so you can copy the “correct” thing to do

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id love for someone to please explain to me how i ended up terrified of any kind of intimacy while craving it constantly all at the same time

what prision should be 4:

  • rapists
  • pedophiles
  • murderers
  • abusers

what prision shouldn’t be 4:

  • non-violent drug dealers
  • drug addicts (who need help + support, not prison time)
  • protesters/activists
  • poc who get arrested 4 doing things white people would never get arrested 4 doing
  • rape/incest/abuse/etc victims who kill their attackers (self defense)
  • homeless people who are just chilling + not doing anything illegal (like a homeless person is just sleeping + the cops arrest them 4 some dumb reason)
  • a lot of people, actually (ex. people who steal like a single apple bc they’re starving, people who take animals from abusive owners, squatters, undocumented immigrants with no/minor criminal records, prostitutes + sex workers, poor people, the mentally ill, etc)

The fact that this post is controversial on tungle dot hellsite says a lot about the site’s political environment.

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a list of amy/laurie things from little women 2019 that i’ll never get over:

  1. amy’s face when she sees laurie walking past her while she’s riding in her carriage and she immediately yells stop the carriage
  2. amy running and calling laurie’s name with pure happiness and excitement and jumping into laurie’s arms
  3. laurie saying how much amy has grown and how beautiful she looks
  4. amy excitedly inviting laurie to the ball
  5. “it’s laurie”
  6. amy glancing back at laurie as he walks away
  7. amy not taking any of a drunken laurie’s shit at the ball “i’d be respected if i couldn’t be loved”
  8. laurie asking amy “why are you being so hard on me?” and amy replying “well someone has to do it” yes queen!
  9. “may i ask that your last portrait be of me”
  10. “that’s where fred vaughn comes in, i suppose?” “don’t make fun” “i said his name”
  11. amy’s entire speech to laurie about marriage being an economic proposition
  12. laurie unbuttoning/untying amy’s painting apron!!!! 👀👀👀
  13. “you look beautiful… you are beautiful.” (+ their sweet smiles)
  14. “what are you doing?” “i’m looking at you”
  15. amy giving laurie the portrait she just drew of him + the portrait she drew of him that day the beach all those years ago
  16. “don’t marry him.” “what?” “don’t marry him.” “why?” “you know why.”
  17. amy telling laurie that she has always been second to jo and that she can’t and won’t be the person he settles for just because jo won’t have him, “i won’t do it. not when i have spent my entire life loving you”
  18. laurie being in shock as he watches amy walk away from him
  19. baby amy saying she’s making mold of her foot for laurie to remind him she has nice feet 😂😂😂
  20. amy turning down fred’s proposal/finding out laurie went to london (to make something of himself because everything she said to him finally got through to him, especially after she said she’s always loved him)
  21. their beautifully long hug after poor sweet beth dies, “i couldn’t let you travel alone with aunt march being so sick. even if you despise me.” “i don’t despise you, laurie.”
  22. “i’m not marrying fred.” “i heard about that.”
  23. THEIR BEAUTIFUL KISS and the fact that it was laurie who initiated the kiss!!!!!!
  24. “there was no getting my wife out of their clutches”
  25. “are you in love?” “yes”
  26. “jo, i have always loved you but the love i feel for amy, it’s different”
  27. “what does amy call you?” “my lord”
  28. seeing them with their BABY

so overall just EVERYTHING!!!!!

bloody hell, i just saw little women and cried three times. i knew it was going to be my new favourite movie, but was i emotionally prepared for the toll it would take on me? no!

things i loved:

- the little details of costuming (shared shirts, waistcoats, colours etc)

- the details around the house

- the little callbacks and forwards

- amy getting what she deserved i.e. treated well!!!!

- BETH!!!!!!!!!

- jo and laurie vs amy and laurie!!!!! so beautifully done

- bhaer got hot

- the use of fire constantly and metaphorically to suggest passion and warmth and love

- the colour palettes for each time period

- the humanisation and imperfection of the girls

- the 'sick of it! i'm so sick of it' speech followed by 'i'm so lonely' oh my GOD this was so complex and beautiful

- emotional realism

- the beautiful shots of the countryside

- the little moments of relationships in the background e.g. laurie and beth walking arm-in-arm

- beth and mr laurence oh my god oh my god

- beth's recovery immediately shot-for-shot contrasted with her death. greta that was a one-shot ko i hope you're happy

- the talking over each other and the familial relationships

- the gentle and tactile friendships

- at the other end of the spectrum, jo constantly punching laurie

- jo getting her book and looking off and smiling faintly and you know she's thinking of beth

anyway. that is my new favourite film. i feel like a different person walking out of that

also what gerwig got so right was the contrast between the March household (the world of women) and the Laurence one (the world of men). how one is full of riches and opportunity that the marches are given glimpses of, but is ultimately lonely and cold as soon as the women leave. meanwhile the March household is full of warmth and light and energy, even though they have far less to work with. and how that shapes jo and lauries relationship and foils to one another: jo is in a world surrounded by love and companionship and freedom to be whoever they want that Laurie more than anything longs for (esp in the book where his grandfather is much meaner and wants him to do Masculine Business instead of Feminine Music). whereas jo wants laurie’s opportunity and freedom in the world outside the home — to make a living and not be confined by her gender, because as soon as she seeks it out for herself she finds how lonely it forces her to be. in the end, jo has to choose between loneliness and freedom or companionship and lies and gerwig shows is the downside and the joys in both!!!!

When Jo March said “but I’m so lonely” it hit me so hard. I was already crying a little but I just started full on sobbing. It was so raw and real and relatable and exactly the struggle of being a woman who wants to be fierce and strong and independent and have her own life where she is appreciated for all that she is but still so longing to be loved.

It is such a real thing in my life and those of countless women. To think, I do not need a man (or a woman). To think, I am my own person and I am valuable in my own right. But I long to be valued. Not because I have no value inherently, but because I want someone to recognize who I am and what I have to offer. I want to love and be loved and have companionship and warmth and care and family (maybe even one of my own) and just goddamn love in my life because I deserve it and we all deserve it. Yes I’m wrong. Yes I am more than love. But that doesn’t mean I should live without love. I just want to be appreciated outside the merits of marriage. I want to be who I am and do what I do and be a whole complex human person who earns and gives love every day because that IS humanity.

It meant so much to me to hear it and it was so close to home. It echoes back to when meg says “just because my dreams are different than yours doesn’t mean they’re unimportant”. Jo says it differently, but it is a call back tot his idea that there are many dreams to have in life, and while career and independence are allowed and encouraged to be high on the list, that doesn’t mean love can’t be high up too. We all want to be loved, and we shouldn’t have to choose.

Thank you Greta Gerwig for writing that whole monologue and that specific line, and thank you Saiorse Ronan for performing that scene so well.

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I have been here, multiple times!  By referring to the order as a “Little Rosa”, you don’t have to make as big a deal out of the fact that you’re seeking help.

And believe it or not, it gets better. Rosa’s also gives out sweatshirts to the homeless (or sells them to the general public) that has information on local soup kitchens and even computer training in the area, on an insert sewn inside the sweatshirt.

Reblogged again for these excellent details.

Also you can buy slices for the homeless through their online store, from anywhere, not just PA!

thank you for the comment about buying online! I am in canada but would love to help

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST

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You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me

I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me

I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.

sometimes i scroll through stephen king’s twitter and i’m never disappointed

Trump tweeted this statement earlier this week, which incorrectly included Alabama in the list of states that would be impacted by Hurricane Dorian:

This error was quickly addressed by the National Weather Service & the correction was picked up by the news

Of course, Trump couldn’t handle being corrected by meteorologists on the fucking weather so:

As someone who took two years of meteorology let me just say that a big concern regards mass panic when issuing weather alerts and warnings. You don’t want people unnecessarily leaving - jamming up the roads or putting themselves at risk (sometimes the safest thing to do is to stay put esp. if the roads are at risk of flooding), you don’t want confusion, and you definitely don’t want people to lose confidence in the weather warnings where they no longer take them seriously. And it doesn’t really help the cause when the fucking president of the country can’t issue a simple correction that HE WAS WRONG because of his fragile fucking ego.

Update: this fuckin guy is STILL going on about this

Also if you look at this photo it’s literally dated August 2 and Trump’s tweet was sent September 1 so this only further proves he gave out incorrect information after the fact so like… cool?

No words for the victims yet but at least he’s keeping up his beef with the goddamn National Weather Service. 

Well if y’all can believe it, this story actually gets even weirder…

So earlier today Trump actually DISPLAYED AN ALTERED MAP IN AN OVAL OFFICE MEETING:

You see that line going into Alabama? Well…

President Trump on Wednesday displayed a map that he said reflected Hurricane Dorian’s original path, but the image appeared to be manually altered with a marker to show the storm’s trajectory continuing toward Alabama.
Trump later told reporters that he did not know anything about the changed map, but was adamant that original forecasts called for Alabama to be impacted by the hurricane. (x)

y’all i’m done

This post has everything, hurricanes, sharpies, alabama, a pathological lying reality show host as president

He even trying to get that person fired

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Oh this hit all my red flags, I've torn down 3 already just walking Malaya to the park

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If you see shit like this Especially outside your local highschools rip it down there's a 80% chance this is a trafficking scam

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Thankfully seems I'm not the only one in town who feels this way

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This is totally ok to rb by the way

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Scam signs:

  1. Targeting teens
  2. No actual mention of the job company or what you'll be doing
  3. Paid daily
  4. Promises of trips and prizes
  5. Encouraging you to bring a friend or relative who's also a teen