For every claim about Pagan survivals in European / North American folk traditions and holidays, it's important to remember that there are at least three layers of cruft on top:

6. Some bullshit Dan Brown made up

New rule everyone in the us is assigned a different Bible verse to be theirs. I'm tired of everyone signing their emails off with Joshua 24:15. Some of y'all are going to have to settle for a begat to hang on your wall alongside your "live laugh love" woodcut. Sorry

tell me what you get

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

FUCK YOU

> Photo: Mario Ciampi.

The old and the youngling. 

About 7000 years ago, an ageing man in his 60s was buried at Skateholm, Sweden. Next to him, face to face, lays a child of 4-5 years who was buried later. On the child’s chest lay jewelry made of bear teeth and pieces of amber. A beautiful display of love, and that the two belonged together in life as in death.

Photo: Statens historiska museer. 

You know what would make a GREAT plot twist? Fidelity.

And yes I mean in the context of romantic relationships, but not only in the context of romantic relationships. Or did AND ROHAN WILL ANSWER mean nothing to you?

not to hijack this post but it reminds me of when my dad’s best friend and his wife had just had their first child, and he had life-threatening complications and went into surgery immediately. as soon as my dad heard he got in the car and drove three hours to be there. he walked into the hospital room, and his best friend wasn’t even surprised. with tears in his eyes he said “I know you. I knew you would come.”

I feel like a lot of people don’t quite get what a butler is. The role tends to get rounded off to ‘male servant’ pretty regularly in some media, whereas actually butlers are typically not just servants but chief servants. The butler was generally in charge of either all male servants or just all servants, period, in the household of an aristocrat or other very wealthy person. This meant that butlers have often been fairly powerful and influential people, and sometimes even had a manservant or two of their own.

(Also, fun fact: Mary Roberts Rinehart, the early 20th century mystery writer who is widely credited with popularizing the whole ‘the butler did it’ trope was nearly murdered by one of her own servants, a chef whom she had passed over for promotion to butler. He came at her with a pistol, but it jammed, allowing her chauffeur time to wrestle it away and restrain him.)

You didn’t answer the key question things brings up: did she popularize the trope before or after the would-be butler tried to kill her?

according to wikipedia, before

There’s something glorious about the fact that the author who popularised “the butler did it” had a servant who a) failed to become the butler and then b) failed to do it.

If he’d been butler material, he’d have finished the job.

Level 1: But is it canon?

Level 2: I can fix the canon.

Level 3: I can make the canon worse.

Level 4: I can fill the canon with small, brightly coloured frogs.

OK what now

@markscherz

@demonfrogs

Source

the incredible thing about 20,000 leagues under the sea is that it's the story of captain nemo, a fascinating character who turned against humanity and swore revenge after losing his family to imperialist violence, but that's just kind of going on in the background throughout the book, which in fact mostly entails the professor and his autistic sidekick identifying and listing every type of fish and sea creature known to man at the time of publication

Plus there's a Canuck who keeps harshing the vibe by complaining about how he "doesn't like being kidnapped and held prisoner on a submarine for the rest of his life."

.....you know I would like to thank @voyoock for this reply because tbh I kind of wanted to break one of these open and taste it myself.

Just think, these stones contain the water from ancient seas from millenia ago, and a well educated scholar STILL couldn't resist their pull. Not one of us is immune to the siren call of ancient tide pods.

cracking open an old one with the boys

ominous flask I found at a Goodwill in Phoenix AZ

Me, having accepted the

Reblog if you accept the

So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward

what the fuck

#a whole new level of procrastination where your paper itself is procrastinating

When not only you’re done with the paper, but the paper is done with you.

choices made in anger is such a crazy image. if you know what i'm talking about

i'm gonna thrup

we need to talk about wikipedia’s example for a resting bitch face

in australia if a girl goes to the bathroom and comes back with a seemingly random fact then you know exactly what time of the month it is

dO YOU GUYS HAVE FUCKING FUN FACTS PRINTED ON YOUR TAMPONS OR SOMETHING

they’re on pad wrappers!!!!!

oh my god

Bringing this back

i think we shouod terraform earth to make it completely flat because itd be fun

i meant completely smooth but flat it actuwlly funnier

new flat earth thearoy: we could do it

how long have I been out

april will be a good month [staring into the sink mirror eyebags prominent the most upset person youve ever seen]