if I ever get 100k followers on here I feel like I’m legally obligated to buy tumblr shoelaces
uh oh
oh really? do tell
fuck
I’m on the phone with joe
Who's Joe?
some idiot whos about to get his shoelaces stolen
every girl should be given a 6tb hard drive for free so she can store her little collection of illegally obtained 4k ultra hd movies
what if I ain't a girl but have a collection of illegally obtained 4k ultra HD movies
honorary girl behavior. Invited to the slumber party
I just think they’d be buddies
Barbie (2023) // Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (1990)
SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE WHO STILL TRIES TO GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS AFTER DEPRESSION HIT THEM HARD. THERE ISN’T ENOUGH RECOGNITION FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO KNOW THAT THEY’RE GOING TO LOSE INTEREST AND MOTIVATION AGAIN BUT PUSH THEMSELVES TO DO STUFF ANYWAYS. YOU ARE FIGHTING A DAILY BATTLE WITH YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND YOU’RE STILL COMING OUT ON TOP, YOU’RE ALL BRAVE AS FUCK
A tiefling rogue, or a thiefling, if you will,
A tiefling barbarian, or a beefling, if you will,
A tiefling druid, or a leafling, if you will
A tiefling divination wizard, or a seefling, if you will,
A devout tiefling cleric, or a beliefling, if you will,
A bard tiefling, or a leitmotifling, if you will
why do pigeons like the train station so much. theyre never hanging around the bus station or the airport. why do they like train station
i have a hot take about vine and tik tok if you allow me
vine’s entire concept was “show don’t tell” while tik tok’s entire concept is “tell don’t show”
might risk sounding like an Old Fart but i want to elaborate what i mean:
sometimes i will see Tiktoks that are just people talking to a camera about a thing that happened to them and then at the end… won’t even show the thing they’re talking about. they’re just talking to a camera. that or the few staged jokes take waaaaaay too much time to get to the punchline, and the punchline isn’t even funny (and the acting is bad)
meanwhile on vine, you only had 7 seconds, and in 7 seconds you could have anything happen, and a dude said “back at it at krispy kreme” and did backflips and kicked out a sign in his final flip and the video just cut with no explanation, and it was the greatest vine on earth
Reasons why the Benoit Blanc movies work so well
- They are about women of color with everyday jobs (nurse, teacher)
- These women are treated terribly by rich assholes in completely pedestrian and everyday ways that women of color with everyday jobs are treated in real life
- These women get extremely cathartic justice in the end
- The movie does not star Benoit Blanc, he is merely the driving vehicle for the mystery
- He is barely a character, he is a plot device.
- All we learn about Benoit Blanc in the first movie is:
- He is a famous detective
- He was so famous he was on magazines
- Literally everyone knows who he is because of previous mysteries he has solved
- These previous mysteries are not explained or even given any details, all we know is that they happened and he got famous for them
- He has a kind heart
- He has a Southern accent that continually shifts back and forth across the Delta
- This is neither explained nor commented on
- All we learn about Benoit Blanc in the second movie is:
- He lives with a partner (marital status unknown) who is
- A: British
- B: Done with his shit
- C: Trying to learn how to make sourdough starter in the pandemic
- He plays Among Us with celebrities
- He is very bad at mystery games such as Among Us and Clue
- That’s it. That’s all we learn about him.
- This is fantastic because these new details provide zero additional context to the unexplained force of nature that is Benoit Blanc, he just strolls into someone else’s movie, tells them they are good people, and gives them closure against rich assholes.
- It is not Benoit Blanc’s movie. It is a movie with Benoit Blanc in.
- The movies are mysteries with lots of twists and turns but they never make the audience feel stupid. This is because
- All of the twists are foreshadowed by scenery details, camera angles, and other things deliberately left in the shot.
- This rewards both the keen-eyed and the additional rewatchers
- All of these twists are extremely well hidden on the first viewing
- This rewards those who enjoy trying to work it out and enjoying them as they come
- The correct reaction to guessing twists before they happen is that they were very well foreshadowed, not that the writers weren’t good enough at tricking the viewers, like some writers who put in twists that are completely out of left field and unsupported by the previous text because they don’t want their audience to guess.
- Ben Shapiro didn’t understand the second one, which is just a nice bonus.
- The fucking. Cameos. Are delightful, not hackneyed.
- The fucking cinnamon tography.
- Every camera angle is a masterpiece. Every still frame is a painting.
How I feel everytime I have to be a customer
I hope I’m not just a url to you guys but also… a profile picture