Here to help y'all gorgeous children

This is v important

please for the love of god turn ur sound on

may your ass get fatter and your heart get wiser in 2017

May your wallet get thicker and soul become heavy in 2017

may your skin get clearer and your love reciprocated in 2017

Reblog for this to come true

lmao.

So this has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it three days ago.

Every Exorcism movie

Priest: Unholy demon, release this soul in the name of Jesus Chr–

Demon:

Priest:

Name a product “Scrub Daddy”

I went to smell my bra this morning to see if it was gross and for some reason the instructions got fucked up on the way from my brain and I ended up putting it to my ear and just listening to it for a second. Idk how my brain thought that would help, like if I could hear the ocean it’s time to put on a clean bra

Ya MCM said ew when you told him you were on your period. He’s 27.

That shit is forever nasty lol

How

Bruh like what are you supposed to do with it? Play in it? Come on now

Ya MCM thinks periods are nasty because he can’t play in it. He was born in 1986.

periods arent nasty but woman arent supposed to have them its actually poor diet that causes them look it up just a fun fact 

Ya MCM thinks periods are a result of a poor diet. He’s over 18.

Where did y'all find these males at?

Vine… you will be missed

I haven’t seen a lot of these ones before hahaha

“nice, ron…” “oh am i not allowed to sneeze?”

THE SOCK MOM OH YM G-D,,

I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

@tabbran please add lemon man story to this

PRESENTING LEMON MAN

That was a wild goddamn ride

Ironically, it seems like Lemon Man’s twitter itself has been suspended now. I guess that’s what happens when you say blatantly offensive stuff on a fully public forum, especially when the stuff you said should offend any half-decent human being.

“everyone get into groups.”

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

reminds me of this gif

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

i wanna date a baseball player

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.

OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN READING THIS FOR MONTHS NOW I GET IT

I DONT GET IT

what will future historians do with this 

this is The Human Experience

This is our legacy

starting a girl gang of girls aggressively supporting other girls so reblog if you want in because if we get enough people we’re getting jackets

when you find that perfect gif but don’t know how to use it

You can reverse the flow of the hotdogs if you concentrate hard enough

oh my god you can

look what you have done now she is angrey

me