After sex you see me roll over and go to balcony. You think ive gone for smoke due to my melancholic nature but I’ve opened sudoku.com evil level
I think that the Hamilton musical is objectively the funniest thing that could happen to that man's memory. Imagine dying of a gunshot wound infection in 1804 and learning from the afterlife that tweenage girls in 2017 are drawing thousands upon thousands of images of you making out with your fellow congressmen because someone wrote a 2-hour rap opera about you. I like to imagine that Hamilton found a monkey's paw and wished to leave a legacy, and this is what it did to him.
you don't control who lives who dies who tells your story
my cat has emetophobia (comes in my room and stares at me and cries for 10 mins before throwing up)
I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur
i need the worlds easiest job and i need it to pay me $100,000 a year
its been about 10 years since she showed me this but i am STILL thinking about how my (then) 4 year old cousin drew birds
OBSESSED with this creature; she draws the body from above/below and the head from the side, with a giant eyeball that takes up the entire head and never looks in a specific direction. in a very old-fashioned sense: iconic
Yeah I would have guessed this was on some ancient pottery or something
They should make food for men
Please I'm so hungry
nevermind
u don’t touch this bitch for one (1) day and the spiders start living lavish
babysitting a kid right now, and hes pretend napping and ive got lullaby music on and everything (this is something he likes to do.) and hes pretending to sleep talk. This is all normal enough except the only words hes choosing to say are *snoooooorrre*…… cinnamon challenge…. my god………..Cinnamon challeng………..
Same kid just passed me a note reading “I Ned Car”
I was like why do you need a car? And he just sighed and kicked the floor and said “Needa get outta here man.”.
Anonymous asked:
who comes to mind when you hear the word “mother”
Lol don’t judge me idk why but her
Why was I afraid to say this….
https://www.indeed.com/careers/gods-favorite-sacrificial-lamb
please, untitled document was my father, call me untitled document (1)
Feel free to reblog etc. I'm asking because my roommate had a weirdly shameful response to doing this the other day, and I was like ?????? It's a tap.
