Tim "puts his feelings on a timer" Drake
Tim Drake everyone
Kon: So, how many people are part of your family anyways?
Tim: Depends. Are we counting actors I paid to pretend to be my family members?
tim drake is a rare case where every wild, out-of-context thing you hear about him gets even wilder with context
made up a fake uncle to avoid getting adopted? first he had to steal his dead dad's will and change it to include the name of his fake uncle, then he forged an entire legal paper trail to fool even batman, and finally hired an out-of-luck actor to play the uncle and had brainstorm sessions with him about his character backstory. judging from his surprised reaction when bruce offered to adopt him, he probably did this to avoid being put into foster care and didnt even consider that bruce might want to adopt him (even though he already adopted three orphans before him) (and then bruce learned about this and gave him more freedom and crimefighting gear so tim could like him)
snuck into gotham during no man's land? he did this twice, first by himself to meet his girlfriend in the hospital while she was giving birth (he snuck into the ER as a nurse), then with his young justice friends who thought he was having daddy issues with batman and wanted to help (this was before he was adopted by bruce) (they also picked up an atlantean tourist on the way who wanted to sightsee gotham)
blew up several of the league of assassins' secret bases? before that he spent days working with them as a member to gain their trust (this was when he robbed that art museum) and all the while they were holding his dad's coworker's daughter who came to search for tim and learned about his secret life as an assassin before she learned he was robin (and then somehow fell in love with him)
becomes evil batman who kills in the future? not only that, he also convinces his friends to be evil with him and then takes control of half the country right after he kills every rogue in gotham and also his aunt. tim fought this version of himself at least three times, and each time swore that he would never become gun batman (he still becomes gun batman)
used his own legal last name as a hero name? he didnt even come up with the idea for that, he met an alternate earth version of himself (also evil) who was using that name and thought "oh that's a good name" and stole it for himself. he didnt bother to check if other drake's identity was public before he started using it. then he got pulled aside and told off personally by batman for using such a dumb name and that's why he's not called drake anymore
insulted jason to his face while he was trying to kill him? did this multiple times and even kicked jason in the nuts once (not while they were fighting, just as payback) (he's jason's favorite brother now)
and then anything that happened with young justice doesnt need any context because it's exactly as weird as it sounds. yes, he did save the fate of a planet by playing baseball with his friends. yes, they did invade an entire sovereign nation to rescue their one friend's parents who had turned into babies. yes, they did see santa claus die in a fiery explosion
Bruce is immortal until Tim Drake says so, oh you wanna kill Bruce Wayne? Nope Tim will do anything in his power to stop you/drag Bruce back to life, he pulled that emotionally complicated, depressed, piece of shit back from the edge and only HE gets to kill him.
upon being asked their opinions on dick becoming a cop
tim: pig (betrayed)
jason: i’m gonna steal his keys and make copies, not to commit crime just to fuck with him
bruce: it’s basically what he already does
babs: my dads the police commissioner so like i’m supportive?
damian: i don’t know a lot about police officers, i like gordon but one of them called me a slur
cass:
steph: BOOOOO
duke: do you even need to ask me my opinion on cops? in this day and age? let’s be real here-
alfred: a respectable career full of people i don’t respect
wally: i mean like objectively i know the social implications are bad but also he looks sexy in the uniform
@mysoulspiralbound said “the only reason Tim still has morals is out of spite” and that is literally the funniest and realest take ever
if you’re up for it I’d love to hear all your cass & tim head canons
DUDE okay so I've got a lot of them
- They've been mistaken for twins until people get a good look at them. This happened a lot when they were younger, Batgirl and Robin, enough that it's a running gag between Dick, Babs and Steph that they refuse to explain to the others. Bruce knows the joke he just pretends he doesn't, and it bothers Damian especially so much
- They're twins spiritually. Cut from the same cloth (Bruce's) into different articles of clothing, but from the same cloth nonetheless.
- They're all vibes. Literally all vibes.
- Cass knows Tim's lame and a loser and everything, but like...that's her little brother. Her amazing, amazing little brother. She won't deny he's a freak and weird and a loser and strange, she knows he is objectively if nothing else, but it's part of what makes him him.
- They rarely refer to Bruce as "Bruce" to each other. It's always "him". 'You sound just like him right now.' 'He sent you didn't he?' 'This was his idea, wasn't it.'
- Cass told Tim that when she's Batman (when, mind you, not if), Tim can be her partner. Tim was very touched but said he won't be Robin then and he doesn't want to go back to Robin. Cass told him that she never said anything about Robin and that Batman’s only been a girl once so they can change the rules a bit.
- Cass is Tim's odd-perfect-skilled-kind-good big sister and Tim is Cass' genius-weird-sweet-good little brother and it's a dynamic so unique to them. They're mirrors, and they're aware of the fact, but haven't put much thought to it except that they are.
- Tim talks and thinks a lot, Cass doesn't talk a lot and she's good at detective work when she puts her mind to it, but she rather wouldn't a good percentage of the time. So she lets Tim do it for her when he can because he's good at and likes it, and in return she points out when he's overthinking and catastrophizing and getting too into his own head about stuff and drags him out of it.
- They're each other's favorite siblings, hands-down.
- Cass gets in Tim's space a lot, physically and into his stuff. Tim has slightly more courtesy about it, but knows she's fine with him in her stuff and space so does so a lot.
- They don't always get each other but they love each other and that's enough for them. It makes up for it, to them.
- Same haircut! Steph cuts their hair with kitchen scissors in the middle of the night while exhausted and she's the only stylist they accept. She charges only Tim.
- These two are autism and audhd solidarity so sometimes they're coninhabiting the same space content, sometimes Tim's talking about everything and anything and Cass is listening, sometimes they're there in complete silence.
- They both knew and cared about Batman (either as a figure or as a hero) before Bruce (the man and their dad) so they make the distinction a lot more and a lot clearer than everyone else.
- They both want to go to Bludhaven again, keep Dick company and maybe settle down again, but they were so sad the last time they were there that they associate the city with horrible memories.
- They're both fashion disasters but Cass wears whatever's most convenient and Tim genuinely think he dresses well. Cass sees nothing wrong with Tim's fashion sense and Tim sees no reason to too say anything about hers, especially since he knows she doesn't care.
Anonymous asked:
I fully believe Cass just never calls Tim out on his lying, like they both make eye contact and thanTim spouts out some of the most bullshit bullshit ever but is so convincing about it and Cass finds it so hilarious and trying so hard not to laugh and keep a straight face through all of it and it has become a game now between them and the only time Cass almost fucking lost it was when Batman told Tim, "You are the only one who wont lie to me."
Cass doesn't call him out unless it's personally amusing to her. Tim tells all the lies he knows she'll disapprove of when she's not there, the rest of the time he lies and prays she won't decide to personally fuck him over just for the hell of it. Cass has the best poker face known to man so that isn't an issue, and Tim has a pretty decent one as well. It's one of the weirdest games they have, and that's saying something considering it's these two.
had a fleeting thought about “maybe damian ends up being fond of bernard bc he cooks well” but then i realize no. they would not be friends.
bernard would yell at him for insulting tim & damian would just be annoyed. they would feud. tim feels vindicated.
fanon tim drake is this sad little wet cat with the constitution of a paper bag and the eyes of a kicked baby seal while canon tim drake is the living embodiment of gaslight AND gatekeep AND girlboss they are not the same
Tim and Cass should be unsettling
Cass 'doesn't give a fuck about social cues' just kinda likes to stare if she think someone looks cool. Shes also is amazing at looking, tends to just come.out of absolute nowhere and scare people. Will just stand in hallway staring at something and when someone comes near her she starts staring at them.
Tim 'spent to much time alone as a child' is just strange. He seems to like always be halfway in a shadow and slips in while no one is looking. can start crying on demand. Just seems to know everything about everyone. Hes to quiet (even by bat standards) his presence just seems to be silent like hes used to nobody being around to hear him make noise so he just stopped.
Somehow they have the same creepy stare. It's actually what has people mistaking then as twins for. Because their unsettling stare is the similar and hard to ignore. It affects people even when they have masks on. They have gotten bad guys to start confessing by just sitting there and staring at the them for a bit.
Tim and Cass being the Chaos Twins is one of my favorite tropes.
this is like my most hit tweet of all time
Bernard wearing a nightwing hoodie
Tim(jealous): terrible , you should burn that hoodie
Bernard: Tim... this is your hoodie
mammutblog
bruce and dick are fighting again and dick is ranting about it
All the little designs for when they’re older together. This was a fun exercise lmao
A couples squabble with TimBer
Tim: stop staring at me, I’m mad at you.
Bernard: I’m mad at you.
Tim: okay.
Bernard: okay.
……..
Tim: why are you still looking at me.
Bernard: you look cute 😒
Tim, trying not to laugh: we’re fighting, don’t flirt with me.
Bernard: what happened to free speech
Tim: god fucking dammit bear I’m trying to be mad at you
Cursed TimBer thought of the day:
Bernard does another bit Tim hates where anytime they’re listening to the radio, he turns and stares at Tim for a really long time, waiting to get his attention. Tim tries to ignore it because he KNOWS what’s coming. but Bernard won’t blink until he looks. the second he does, Bernard goes “you know, they sang this in Glee—”
i’m sorry i just can’t get over tim drake saving bruce over and over again, across timelines, universes. it’s just what he does. he is the robin who saves batman.