court sanctioned Pizza witness

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Wtf????

Smoove with it too 

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

reminds me of this gif

Baseball players are to be feared

Reblogging for the last one

^Same for me

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

much woah

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

Y’all have no idea how hard I was trying not to laugh in class at that poor bird

They…they just blew up a fucking bird…

Ball’s dead. Bird’s dead. I’m dead

World Heritage Post

personally my favorite thing about Mr. Bird Evaporator is this imagine being the poor fool tryna rob this man’s house only to be instantly transported to the same dimension as that bird

Are we all forgetting that Randy Johnson then went on to make a sports photography company, and the logo for said company is the obliterated bird?

This advertisement is for a new horror novel called Camp Damascus, from two time Hugo Award finalist Chuck Tingle. 

WHAT IT’S ABOUT

Rose is a teen growing up in the God-fearing town of Neverton, Montana. Whenever she has an impure thought she pukes flies. 

Camp Damascus is the self-styled most effective conversion camp in the US of A.

Nestled high up in the mountains above Neverton, a life free from sin awaits. 

whoever coined the term pyrrhacule know that you have my heart

If you love Tree Law, the beloved subreddit is open again. I highly recommend sorting by top/all time.

To clarify after some questions:

(American) Tree Law is very satisfying because the cases often involve someone damaging trees that don’t belong to them, usually for an aesthetic, mercenary, petty, and/or spiteful reason. However, American tree law comes down like a HAMMER on such people, and they will get mighty fines. If the tree dies, in fact, they’ll be on the hook to replace the whole thing, and as it turns out, trees ain’t cheap. As the article above summarizes one incident in Reddit terms:

Tree Law is perhaps one of the few branches (I didn’t even mean that to be a pun) of American law where self-entitled wrongdoers WILL face consequences. NBC Universal wants to maul a row of city-owned ficus trees to deprive striking workers of shade during a heat wave? Oh boy.

Trees are one of those things whose worth is weighed in years, whose value is inclusive of all the time that went into making it what it is. A mature tree is a MATURE tree; you cannot replace it with a sapling and call it good. You don't just replace the tree; you must replace the years of the tree. And it turns out that finding those years to replace is both difficult and expensive.

It's one of those lovely situations where a wrongdoer is forced to restore the situation to its former glory, cost be damned, and if it's "too expensive" or "too inconvenient" or "I had no idea" or "this is so much trouble" then tough shit, asshole, you fucked around and by God you WILL find out.

mistakes are so normal and human and inevitable and necessary and real. if i make one however please put me to death

hey folks,,,,,... glad 2 b here on tubblr . here's a little self-portrait of me,, a human male

on my way to work at the job factory :) lets get this bread !, and by bre,d i mean human money dollars haha. dont even like bred

feeding the ducks

(disclaimer: i do Not live in thi,s pond. i live in a home House.)

ah . allow me to introduce my two lovely childen . Child and Baby . :) they are both just regular Men just like their old man(me)

Worker solidarity is the future.

*BAP*

NOOOOOOOO

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone

he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws

The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed

The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.

he plead guilty

Ready to bet the real difference between your life and the rest of the world isn’t the amount of weird stuff happening to you, OP. It’s that you actually pay attention to it.

@leafenclaw YES THANK YOU

SUPER LATE UPDATE but rainbow guy later met me in the park and gave me a bag of broken glass and told me we were reincarnated soulmates, so. That took a few off of the initial ‘really cool dude’ verdict.

He also got arrested but that was unrelated

This was my barbenheimer

There was a HUGE raven on top of the church and when I stopped to take a picture it swooped at me, so I figured ‘oh shit I disrespected the unseelie’ so I apologized as it flew away and ten minutes later I got hit by a car but like, really gently, so what I mean to say is that the Fair Folk are real and they are willing to dish out warnings

YOOOO IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS PICTURE

GUYS I TOLD YOU I HAD A PHOTO OF IT

FUCK YEAH

I'm a security guard dude my literal number one job is to AVOID having the cops show up

What's better than the Trinity riding on unicorns, you ask?

Well, the fact that Batman named his Biscuits.

(Yes, I'm choosing to believe Clark)

*chanting quietly* tree law tree law tree law tree law

It is time.