you can die 15 times but you're only gay once

that post about how no gay relationship written by a straight person can ever come close to how diabolically insane a straight relationship written by a gay person is as it relates to the riverdale finale. cheryl/toni and kevin/clay settling down together and living long, happy lives and then betty literally taking archie's face in her hands and saying "i know how you die"

imagine being gay Kevin & your whole personality is being gay but then it turns out that your whole friend group and everyone else you know is ALSO gay. the identity crisis would be unparalleled

& your fucking dad is gay

& the serial killer who kills your dad and your dads lover is gay

goodbye riverdale... i'll miss you so bad

toni is always giving her child a Name.

Featuring River As Dale..................

the story begins and ends in riverdale and the story begins and ends in that bathroom. we can never escape the place that a man in his middle age with years long revenge schemes chained us. but maybe we can get a little gay while trapped there.

if reggie was in the polycule HE wouldn’t have been scared to fuck archie.

everything is too pretty!! i need homely supremacy. normalize being a little ugly. i don’t think the emphasis needs to be that everyone is beautiful in their own way!! i mean of course they are, but that’s not the point. the point is that ur appearance shouldn’t have any relevance on ur worth. not everything needs to be pleasing to the eye to be worthwhile. i’m sick of women giving into the little man in their brains telling them they need to arch their back the right way when they’re home alone doing laundry. no more aesthetics!!!!! let me do what comes naturally to me and be pudgy and sticky and unladylike and don’t talk to me. i’m going to start biting picnic tables at parks so everyone knows i was ugly and i was there.

and bettys habit of lying and forgetting stuff + jugheads ominous typewriter leaves doors WIDE open for a completely transcendentally absurdist riverdale reboot in like ten years brothers in arms whos with me lets get ourselves a cease and desist

didn't think we'd get a chic mention at all, much less him murdering uncle frank and sheriff keller ❤️ thank you chic

KARMIC JUSTICE ! uncle flop you will die one million times on my screen

slumping over in my seat and sighing loudly until someone asks whats wrong. “town won,” i say. they ask me to elaborate, and i make some sort of weak gesture which clarifies nothing. i take a long drag of a cigarette. “town won,” i say again, shrugging. town always wins. what can you do

there is no escape even in death <- this post is about the cw’s riverdale do not derail

genuinely there will never be another show like this ever again. nothing as wacky and campy and unafraid to take massive swings. that does musical episodes with a cast they didnt bother to ask about singing abilities (camp and beautiful forever). that's a love letter to art and the truest adaptation of comics as a medium as we could ever ask for.... that works overtime to make every character gay in some capacity just for fun.... that runs 7 entire seasons for 6 beautiful years.... that forces cole sprouse to sing and somehow managed to unlock actually good singing one single time for his origin of love verse and then never again ever. that has god's most beautifully campy dialogue delivered with utmost passion and sincerity. that's as unabashedly FUN as this. that has cheryl blossom my most beloved cheryl blossom. NO ONE'S GONNA DO IT LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN!!!

didn't get enough jarchie to consider it a win for the longcon, got enough jarchie to cancel the suicide, who knows where this leaves me