so i asked a friend what was up and she replied with this and i feel like i’m in an episode of the twilight zone

this was a real show 

Pokémon GO: *shows picture of egg* “Oh?” Me, every time: “Oh?”

???they’re using imessage

Im her

Who wants to hear my new conspiracy theory about lawyers

Conclusion?? Faeries

MEH!!!

the Gentle Alien is unsure of how these peace talks are going

i love that we and cats share pareidolia (seeing patterns where they dont exist), but instead of seeing faces in everyday objects like us, they see snakes

that computer cord? snake. string? small snake. cucumber? short fat straight snake

snake pareidolia is one of the strongest things in human minds too! people report freezing mid-stride before being consciously aware of a snake in front of them, and the same happens with coiled rope, etc. in humans and other primates. it’s even been proposed that the need to detect snakes was a factor in the development of primates’ insanely good color eyesight

It’s because snakes are wonderful and we must stop and admire them at any cost

Chikorita is the most metal pokemon

Being a decent human means holding your trash until you can locate a goddamn trashcan u littering swine

My friend and I are discussing various English/UK accents and I just fucking blurted “Australian accents are like if Britain had a Texas” and guys I feel like I’ve cracked the goddamn code

well, you aren’t entirely wrong

having an opinion on philosophy makes you a philosopher. even if you think philosophy is stupid and pointless, THAT’S A PHILOSOPHY. you can’t escape

suddenly Scotchtape’s comic makes sense to me