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HorkBajir99

@horkbajir99

Greetings, Earthlings! Welcome to my brain! Please take off your shoes before you enter.

I know there are like 20 posts about this already, but…

…Just focus your attention on Sam’s shoulder during this specific part, because it’s what really gives away what’s happening in the scene, topped off by this quick shot we get of Sam turning around.

Deadman is pushing him up against the wall of the shower ғʀᴏᴍ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ and making it as convincing as possible for anyone who might be watching them.

The answer to your question: almonds.

Let me be clear this was put- this was put into this fuckin questionnaire. To come for me. And I’m gonna explain something:

If you’re at home, and you’re Afraid to tell your gaming group, that you’re a snacker-

I’ve got your back. Okay? -Because its OKAYtofuckinsnack. Alright?

When you’re out there-liSOME OF US

SWEAT

From The
  • Moment we w-wake up
To The
  • Moment we go to sleep.

Some of Our

BoOodieeeS

are betraying us Constantly. …i-

wOULD I HAVE CHOSEN?

this

Paper White.
Fur Covered.

Constantly Sweating body?

(cackling)

NO. iwouldn’thave. Does it require

Constant (??)

Almonds?yes.

(guffawing & wheezing)

Almonds All the time. okay?

And I’m not gonna APOLOGIZE becausethesetwofucking

Elevated Beings.

These two. Hovering-uhuh-w-wwhats the wwhatawhatathe Preeeee the:

  • pre-skeksis
  • pre-mystic

Light Beings from The Dark Crystal. YOU TWO.

SOME OF US ARE POD PEOPLE. OKAY?

I’m a little

PODLING.

and i NEED to Snack. If I could have

another Mouth. in my back.

(more confused wheezing)

So that I could- the Biggest du-bObsticle in my GMing. Alright? uh huh Is that the same place I

talk from

is where the

food needs to go.

we knowwhattogethim for christmas

a mouth in my back!

a mouth back!

So that I can have a Friend

Shoveling Salami into an open furnace in my torso

while i

Narrate.

AND I’M NOT SORRY

I LIKE TO SNACKto answer your question

almonds.

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

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I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

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hydro-punk

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

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THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

Reblogging for the last addition

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

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I laugh myself hoarse every time this post comes around, so here it is again.

Once emailed a professor from my hospital bed high on painkillers after a really bad car crash which my heart actually stopped the email “Dead cant class sory”

gender is a performance and im getting heckled by those old gay muppets

Those tags had me weeping actual tears of mirth holy fuck

[Image ID 1: tags reading: #masc? Phew! We thought it was your real face! Whoaaaaahohohohohohoho /end ID 1]

[Image ID 2: tags reading:

#Female presenting nipples? I wish she'd present the end of the show! #DOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOO #You know some audiences struggle with singular they. *They're* struggling with singular audience! #BAAAAAWHOHOHOHOHOHOHOO #After a performance like that I'd change my name too! #WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #How many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb? #I don't know - how many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb? #I don't know either but it's got to be more exciting than this! #DOOOOOHOHHOHOHHOHO /end ID 2]

“The stone corrupts all those who wield it, it is fueled by their ambitions and dreams. So we need someone with no ambitions, no dreams, someone who doesn’t care about what the future holds for themselves. That’s why we found you.”

The first thought, in a moment like this, probably should not have been what came to your mind. Well, fuck you too, you thought, half incredulous and half apathetic. You leaned against the doorframe with one shoulder and eyed the group of three wizened people before you. Why was it always the elderly who came with big quests or brought important items that had to be hidden away?

Also, if you didn’t care about the future, didn’t that mean you didn’t care about the stone either? You might as well give it to someone else. Maybe someone better suited than you. There was this little girl across the street who had an acorn necklace and played in puddles and always sat very still until the every last stray cat felt safe enough to eat what she brought them. Maybe the stone should go to her, she at least gave a shit.

You debated arguing or refusing, but your disinterest won out in the end. “Sure,” you answered, holding out a hand for them to plop the stone into. You weren’t scared of it, especially since it looked utterly unremarkable. If you tossed it into a river, no one would be able to tell it apart from the other rocks.

The three wizened elders, apparently the smartest of their magic circle, exchanged grave looks and you waited until they were done with their silent communication and their leader stepped forward.

“We entrust you with the Stone of Possibility, never use it and always hide it,” they said, voice solemn and carrying the sort of undertone that spoke of great importance. You blinked slowly. “Give it to no one, no matter how noble their hearts, how pitiful their tale or how silver their tongue.” You couldn’t help but imagine a genderless person sticking out their tongue dripping with mercury.

heyo just a psa: gc2b is not safe anymore. old binders from them are fine but new ones are way lower quality and will almost certainly mess up your ribs (think warping or breaks). don't get binders from amazon because they also tend to be dangerous. underworks seems to have maintained their good ratings, so if you need a binder consider going with them, and remember to always do your own research :D

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underworks has two collections of binders now: the original, which were meant for cis men with gynecomastia, and the newer one which was designed more with trans men's needs/proportions in mind

ace attorney is as exciting as it is because it fulfills everybody’s fantasy of not just proving someone wrong but doing so in a heroically aggressive manner. ace attorney is about calling someone out, with receipts, so hard that they throw wild anime faces, scream, and tear their hair out, then get sent to actual jail

there are like five rules to life and those rules are

1. eat 3 meals a day

2. always have a non alcoholic drink with you

3. never trust anything you think about your life after 8-9pm

4. do a little something for urself every day

5. interact with a Beast at least once a day (human, feline, canine, lizard, bird, etc)

and the secret 6th rule:

6. if you can't do all of those rules, just do the ones you can

If you're ever not sure what to talk about in therapy, having trouble with any of these things, steps towards making them easier/possible, or addressing barriers that are getting in the way of these things are all EXCELLENT topics for therapy.