Hope

u know she dead

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

OKAY

AJAX SOAP

THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”

AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT

AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH

AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE

someone who worked at ajax has literally waited 66 years for you to get this

I’m thankful for all the different ways I can eat potatoes

An 8-year-old’s homework. via

and he got a fucking star 

i followed my heart and it led me into the fridge

when you’re talking about something you love and someone immediately starts saying how terrible it is 

"homework" *tired zombie noises*

"studying" *sad zombie noises*

"responsibilities" *disgusted zombie noises*

"internet" *happy zombie noises*

if cats could talk i would never even want to make human friends ever again

i hope i lose 800 pounds by tomorrow morning

i think it’s cute when someone admits they have a crush on you

i think it’s a fucking miracle 

when u see a stranger with a nice butt in public

Here’s a fun april fools day prank you can do. Sneak into my room and place thousands of dollars everywhere. Just on everything. Cover my things with an insane amount of money. Make it a real hassle to clean up. The more money the better the prank.

what’s the cheapest meat?

deer balls

because they’re under a buck