Home is where your bookshelf is

Oak, Monstera and Thistle Dragons

Demiurgus Dreams on Etsy

‘In the garden’, ‘In the kitchen’, and ‘In the hay’ by Helena Janecic

I was going to caption this but then I listened with the sound on, and they had it covered.

being a student right now is so fucking terrible is anyone coping

like what the fuck is a deadline when 1 million people have died

I’m not a student, but this is a thought that crosses my mind every day. And every day I try telling myself, Keep working, because when this is all over, you’ll be glad for the work you’ve done. 

It’s like the long winters of the past, when the granaries would slowly empty and people started to fear spring would never come again: during the dark days, you do things. You repair your tools. You enjoy each other’s company. You sing old songs and write new ones. You make ropes and nets and weave blankets and do anything you don’t have time for in the summer. And it’s hard to do it and hard to stay hopeful, but that way, when spring comes - and spring does come, spring will come - you can start working in the fields with a brand-new plow and good boots and a head full of songs.

Thank you

Writing a story is so much harder than drawing it honestly I don’t know how authors do it

What do you mean you have to describe what your characters look like with WORDS. Can’t they just… figure that out? Why do I have to write an entire sentence if I want my characters to do anything?? How does that make any sense? I’d draw a thousand backgrounds over having to spend time writing a goddamn paragraph to set the scene smh

That’s funny because as an aspiring author I feel the opposite way. Words are like bricks, you just keep stacking them methodically, it’s easy but sometimes tedious.

What do you mean artists can just SHOW things? Like… you see it in your head and manage to somehow translate that image onto paper? You can just… get across what you want people to see without spending an hour trying to pick out the right words?? What is this witchcraft??

To me, it just seems more efficient than arranging words in such a way as to make people vividly hallucinate an approximation of your mindscape. AND YET.

#Artistic Bastardry is a real genre but the thing that makes it Artistic is that the joke is on those in power#and not ripping off your fellow artists or the facilities people (via gallusrostromegalus)

Pride & Prejudice (2005), dir. Joe Wright

We don’t talk enough about how part of Jane falling for Bingley is that he thinks Elizabeth is DOPE AS SHIT and openly loves hanging out with her. Cute nice boy has taken Netherfield at last? Great! Cute nice boy who would legitimately be super stoked if Elizabeth ended up being a spinster aunt who lived with them and taught their children to embroider their cushions very ill indeed as long as she kept laying down sick burns? MARRIAGE MATERIAL.

Post-book Mr. Bingley is ALWAYS excited before parties where Elizabeth will be in attendance, because he knows she is going to make some very unexpected jokes and he will be in STITCHES and also in AWE and yay for loving and supporting at least one of your in-laws.

@zombeesknees

#i mean Bingley genuinely LIKES Darcy#they’re a classic combo of golden retriever and aloof dignified cat#so of course golden retriever Bingley is going to meet Elizabeth and go YES GOOD A NEW CAT FRIEND#DARCY COME MEET MY NEW CAT FRIEND#Darcy: HISSS#Elizabeth: HISSS#Bingley: SEE WE’RE FRIENDS

via @pagerunner

This is actually such a relief.

Let me know if this has been posted here before

As a teenager I was pretty unimpressed with adults giving each other tours of their homes and kitchens, but as an adult I now understand this is the equivalent of inviting your friends over to see all your toys and that’s chill actually

it’s the grown up version of showing your mum your clean room you spent all day tidying 

holy crap that’s exactly what it is

someone left this comment on r/tumblr and i just melted

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

The moon landing was fake: tired, passé, heard it before

The moon landing was an elaborate marriage proposal: fresh! sexy! I’m going to be thinking about this for months!

Romcom where two dudes in the 1960s fall in love and come up with an elaborate plan to become astronauts to get married in space because gay marriage is illegal everywhere but it can’t be illegal on the moon

Might make things a little awkward for Mike Collins.

He was the officiator

This is an excellent take. He officiated in orbit, and the landing was their Honey Moon.

Oh my god they were moon mates.

lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

“God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.” We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.

I’ve been doing this for years

It’s all on a google doc of mine (x)

“Kill me. Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you won.” -fucking Warrior Cats

We live in a socie-

Wait wait you forgot the mushroom post “you can’t kill me in a way that matters” +the following uhhhh 1 sec

I find the mushroom post :)

sorry

sorry

Can we go ahead and add “one day you’ll decompose, and I’ll be there to watch it happen” to the list please

@imfunnydamit

“There is not enough time to make all the things one’s imagination can conjure” - @reyndesign

Every single one of these quotes is going in my next grimoire

my own

“People are very good resistors for electronic appliances”

I kinda wanted to add mine too!

“We all wish for victory, some will die for it, some will kill for it and others will simply fade away.”

that is some next level knot magic.

 it isn’t though!!! it’s because most relationships aren’t worth the effort. The “sweater curse” is actually most commonly called the “BOYFRIEND sweater curse.” Which=heteronormative, but the curse most often falls on a woman knitting a sweater for a boyfriend. Before she finishes the sweater, they break up - pop culture would have you believe it’s because the boyfriend freaks out do to the weirdness/clinginess of having a sweater made for you, but I think knitters are wiser than that.

It’s because after spending serious £££ on materials, and then HUNDREDS OF HOURS OF LABOR on the creation of the item, with every stitch a prayer of totally focused intent, creating a large display of technical skill - it is then gifted to a non-knitter who does NOT APPRECIATE the work/effort/skill/cost/TIME it took to make it, and in fact thinks you’re a bit weird and making a big deal out of a piece of clothing, and after they go “oh thanks” and shove your creation in the cupboard next to a sweater they got for £15 at an M&S sale, then they never wear your sweater because it’s too tight because when you asked them how their favorite sweaters usually fit they said “I ‘unno” and when you measured them for the fifth time and asked, rather tersely, if they had enough room in the chest, they said “I guess,” and then if pressed they say they don’t really like the sweater design, but then you point out that they were supposed to participate in helping you design it and they say they don’t really care about how things look, and when you say that you tried to match it to their other clothes so how can they hate it, then they say that honestly their mother still buys all their clothes because they hate going shopping, and that they hate all their other clothes too, well. That’s when a sensible knitter goes “Fuck this shit. And you know what? Fuck this man.”

This is what happens when someone posts in a knitting forum “Attack of the sweater curse!” - this is the usual story. It has a rigid plot. It is as old as myth.

That’s when you look at the time you spent and realize, “I could LITERALLY have written the first draft of a novel instead of doing this.” That’s when you go “I could have taken that £200 and bought myself a new wardrobe.” That’s when you go “I could have taken all that intent, all that willpower, all that creative force, and laid down some fucking witchcraft, all right?” That’s when you go “I basically spent 100 hours straight thinking about this bastard while making something amazing for him, and I have no evidence that he ever spent 10 hours of his life thinking about me.”

And “I could spend this time and energy and money in making myself an enormous, intricate heirloom silk shawl with just a touch of cashmere, in elvish twists and leafy lace in all the colors of the night, shot through with subtly glittering stars, warm in winter and cool and summer and light as a lover’s kiss on the shoulders, suitable for draping over my arms at weddings or wrapping myself in to watch the sea, a lace-knotted promise to myself that I will keep for my entire life and gift to my favorite granddaughter when I die, and she will wear it to keep alive my memory - but instead I have this sweater, and this fuckboy.”

The sweater curse is a lesson that the universe gives to a knitter at an important point in their life. It is a gift.

Knitting a sweater for a husband or wife generally doesn’t call down the curse, because the relationship is meant to be stronger than 4-ply.

(Although I say this, but I’ve taken over 5 years to finish a pair of mittens for my husband, because he casually asked me to do something customized with the cables, and I still can’t get the math to work on the right hand.)

this post is so much better with that commentary

Fuck yes.

Hey @elodieunderglass! How’re the mittens coming along?

It is 2020, we recently marked 9 years of marriage and no progress has been made

okay im actually fascinated and dying to know the answer to this; why just the right hand? if you’ve figured out the math for the left hand, why can’t you simply mirror it?

Genuinely, if I knew this I would be a better person?? And I am not that person,

They’re the Hinksey mittens from Fyberspates. They are a very nice design. There is no reason underlying the universe. https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/hinksey

Also, i’ve said before that this second-person comedy POV in this post is fictional. It’s a bit to make you laugh! I have never actually experienced the sweater curse myself. I was simply reporting on observations from many, many stitch&bitches.

However, in 2019 I faced a different sweater curse, which I’d like to record for science. Over the course of many months I knitted an amazing fairisle jumper for my husband. This was my first jumper for adults. I poured my 2019 energy into a jumper that - impossibly - was too small for him in the yoke.

I blocked, reblocked, hissed obscenities at my test swatches, stared for hours at the similar projects on Ravelry that had worked perfectly well on identical men, steam blocked, and grafted several different designs of underarm gussets into the armpit. I considered afterthought-steeking it with stretch panels. I considered steeking it into a cardigan. My husband was an active participant in the whole process, which made it worse, but even he balked at steeking. (Steeking, or cutting, is the blood sacrifice of knitting; afterthought steeking, where you slice open a knitted item with a blade and try to catch and bind every single loop, is necromancy.)

It works as a jumper. Just not for him. I just need to start the jumper over again in one size up. This is not unreasonable.

I can’t bear to frog it yet (it’s a complete object ; it was my 2019, the only thing I finished; it’s objectively one of the nicest things I’ve ever made) because Brain Says No. It has to be frogged, because I need the materials. And now I realistically won’t be able to pick it up again for a long time.

So I submit to the board: the Love Curse of Knitters. When you love someone so much, and circumstances (incl. curses) conspire to prevent you from finishing things for them, it can become a Whole Thing, and you end up with the cobbler’s children going barefoot. It doesn’t hit everyone, and it isn’t a problem when it does, it’s just something to be aware of, because i think there’s a good way to break it.

I observed a similar problem when a friend knitted an item for a baby she was really excited about, but got tangled up in a problem with it, and the baby grew up before she finished it. She’s an experienced knitter, so the frustration was a tremendous roadblock. A curse, if you like. She couldn’t happily take on new projects (including a new item for that child) until the Problem Was Fixed, but the Problem seemed to be supernatural and malicious in origin, and the activation energy to attack it became higher and higher. Not wanting to give up knitting forever, she gave the half-finished item to me, to finish for our baby. This broke the curse instantly.

I think that passing on the object of attachment is key. I believe I could break the curse on the mittens by handing the pattern notes and materials to a friend, and asking them to get past the Curse Zone for me. I could give away the jumper to someone, or ask a friend to frog it for me. (I don’t want to tear it apart, but I wouldn’t mind it going away and coming back as several balls of yarn.)

Folks, I have presented a description of a curse that I believed to be previously undescribed in the literature. I hope that you will consider it in your own practice. Thank you.

Scream

So this was in the Boston globe, and if I hadn’t read it myself I would have thought it was an Onion article. The lady wants walls again because now when she is working in the kitchen, her husband is in full view sitting watching TV and doing nothing. When they had walls, she was basically less aware of how ignored she was while being a hard-working woman and housewife. They don’t need walls, they need a marriage counselor.

Okay, but also: the walls are there for a reason.

In particular, the kitchen walls are there so that you can leave the kitchen messy when entertaining guests or having a meal (to the point that some open floor concept homes have a second, secret kitchen called a mess kitchen). The walls of the kitchen confine smells to the kitchen area, so your sofa doesn’t smell of bacon. Mess spreads from room to room.

Noise too, travels in an open floor concept. You’re confined to a bedroom or outside to make phone calls, listen to podcasts, etc. etc. without disturbing the rest of the household. The minute someone needs to cook? The entire house becomes unusable.

Open floor concepts have higher heating (cuz drafty) and cooling (kitchen) costs. They also require ALL of your decor to match if that’s a thing that’s important to you.

The noise and mess spreading in particular seem to me they could exacerbate marital problems. Do they need counseling? Oh yeah. Does the house make for a less hospitable home, that puts stress on a marriage? Yes.

my GOD does sound carry in an open floor plan.

The only doors in my house are the ones to bedrooms, bathrooms, closets. And when I’m in my first floor bedroom, even with the door closed, I can hear everything that goes on in the living room and kitchen, and half of what goes on in the dining room. I hate it.

the absolute funniest revelation in this article is that open floor plans took off because of home renovation shows, and the reason every home renovation show did an open floor plan is because they thought smashing walls down with sledgehammers would appeal to male viewers. that’s it. that’s the only reason.

Solid review

This will always be my favorite gifset. Ever.

im morally obligated to reblog this every time i see it

This cracks me up every time!

George doesn’t realize he can’t scratch his ear while lying down 

(via)

don’t worry everyone, this isn’t anything to worry about :)

This cat is LEG BOUNCING himself in the face