SO, I know I've been away for a while and haven't posted lately BUT....I'm coming back really, really soon!! Between College and life, they have been getting to me yall so bear with me please!😭 But just know, I haven't abandoned "Re-loving Noémie" at all- and I will try my very best to post more consistently. Hope you all haven't forgotten about me yet!🥹 Love yall! Stay safe🖤

Interlude #1

Time: 2:35 AM

Noémie: *Translucent dialer phone in hand, whispering hoarse but sweetly into the reciever while laying on their stomach, but leaning on their elbows and forearms. Italian leather dairy sitting between their fingers. Only source of light is the blue hue of the night, and the headache inducing bright lights of the multicolor phone. *

I wrote a little something...a poem, I think? Maybe more of a declaration. *Laughing breathily, while shyly looking down- as if whoever is on the phone, is lying beside them.*

Unknown: Tell me about it? *They ask with genuine curiosity, laced with fond affection.*

Noémie: It's...it's called- I call it "The Arduous Dive." * Anxiously moving between caressing their silver hoop, or picking at the dead skin that hangs onto their thumbs.*

Unknown: mmm...I like the name. Go on. * Humming in approval and pushing forth*

Noémie: It-it goes...

"I've been thinking about love alot lately, ya know? jumping in it. Swimming in it. Running a couple laps through it. Floating in it. Getting out of it. Laying by it as I dry it off. Only to hop back in when the sun is no longer a desirable warmth, but an invasive one. Yeah...

I've been thinking about love alot lately.

- " The Arduous Dive"

*A comforting silence falls over them when Noémie stops speaking. A content sigh leaves the listener, instead being a placeholder for a kiss- for the next time these two knotting red strings meet.

Unknown: I like that...I really, really like that Noémie.

*Noémie hears an evident smile forming into the reciever. Causing them to look at every familiar trinket or figurine in that lyes upon various shelves in the room - as if it were brand spanking new. Smiling along with them, as they both resonate on what'sjust been read.*

Unknown: ...is there anyone in particular who's got you writing like this? * a teasing tone, heavily evident as they strain the living room dialers cord to the kitchen.*

Noémie: Yes...yes, it is. * Now turning to lay along their right arm, facing to the left side of their room collaged with pictures, sketches, a plant, and a few posters! Head too far in the ardent clouds to realize their still on Earth.

Unknown: And who might that be? *Flirting without regard to poor Noémie's bleeding heart.*

Noémie: You.. * Grabbing the receiver with both hands while grinning, only to softly cradle and indirectly ensure the safe travels of such delightful locution.*

Will always be you.

Unknown: Well, it hasn't always been me, ya know? *Testing Noémie to see where their love for each other really lies.*

Noémie: I know... *Returning a sigh of reassurance. Passing this discreet test of loyalty. *

But from now on, it will be.

P.S. Highly suggest you check out this composer! He is my all time favorite!!🖤 Also, these songs really resonate with the story, as we progress (:

Quick Note:

So, yeah! I'm going to be adding little entries in between just so we can have an ongoing/consistent view of this character, their headspace, and their development! And hopefully, something to hold you over. Some of them will be from before meeting Apollo, after meeting Apollo, while Noémie is with Bellamy, a few before Bellamy, whoever else they meet, as their world is broadening and they learn new things about themselves. Also, they won't always be this long! Hope you all are appreciating the story so far!! 😊

NO PLAGIARISM ALLOWED!!🤬🤬🤬

By: @homebodybirkin2003

No Plagiarism Allowed 😡😡😡 I am the original creator of Re-loving Noémie.🤨

Warning! ⚠️: Cursing, mentions of sex and sexual behavior (they almost have sex but dont), sexualizing, pressuring into having sex, dom/sub undertones, lying, HEAVY gender Dysphoria, talks of toxicity in the modeling industry...I guess that's it lol. Let me know if I miss anything!

P.S. This chapter long AF. And there will be flash forwards, changes in time and locations, as well as POV'S... You've been warned playa!😭

January 17th, 1985. A brownstone somewhere in Brooklyn, New York.

Time: 10:45pm

Noémie

Noémie

Noémie

Noémie

NOÉMIE!

Noémie: huh? *Looking at their mother with daydreams in their eyes*

Georgette: You are off with the fairies my love. What's wrong?

Noémie: Just thinking ma mére. Thinking about my image- who I wanna be.

Georgette: Ah. Well what about who you are becoming? Cause I see a gorgeous, growing boy. *Smiling at Noémie with that maternal gaze*

Noémie:....What do you think about me modeling?

Georgette: Is that what you want to do? Be a model? Wait, when did this even come about love? * She eyes me curiously*

Noémie: I've just been thinking lately....I don't think I would want to turn it into a career or anything of the sort. But it could be fun?- And you know people....*Leaving my statement up in the air for her to catch on*

Georgette: I think...you would be a wonderful model. In fact, I think you would be making covers and headlines in no time. And I know you said it would just be a fun little something on the side but I can't help but be worried about this turning into your...all thing. Call me a hypocrite, Call me contradicting but, I just want you to know that you are much more than a pretty face and a nice physique.

Noémie: *Sitting silently across from Georgette at the round, cherry mahogany wooden table. Staring into my mother's Juniper green eyes that have lightened with age.*

Georgette: Did...Apollo say something to you?

Noémie: *The utter of his name, awakened a lonesome, anxious butterfly to flutter eratticly in the pit of my stomach. How did she know? And what does she know?* He didn't say much ma mére. Was just surprised as to why you haven't thrown me into your world- since you spend so much time in it. *I smile reassuringly. Doing the best I can to kill that obnoxious lepidopteran.*

Georgette: *Scoffs* What I do with my child and my family, has nothing to do with that man...But if you're wondering why, it's because I've seen to many walking dreams become irreversible nightmares. These beautiful people who've come in with their youth, adorable characters and fresh personalities- sitting bare and vulnerable on their sleeves. Only for that sleeve to be ripped away, used, bawled up and thrown back to them.

However, there are the ones who get that icon title- (the right person would kill for) and they stay at the top. But how do you think they stay up their, my dear?

Noémie: ...*Silently fidgeting with my left silver hoop. An endearing little habit I've picked up since my birthday.*

Georgette: *Sighing fondly at Noémie with a look tainted in motherly concern* If you really want to give modeling a go, because you want to Noémie. Not because of someone else laying this double edged foundation in that cute little head of yours, but because YOU want to then...I'm all for it my love.

Noémie: *Rising up out of the wicker seat and walking about the table to sit sideways on their mothers lap. Wrapping their arms around their mothers shoulders as their head rest on one of them. A little bit of an awkward position due to Noémie's subtle muscular frame and elongated, lanky size. But a bittersweet position nonethless. A familiar position to both. Noémie use to always yearn to be held in such a nurturing way whenever he'd scrape his knee, was sick with the common cold, rainy days with a story in hand, a bad day at elementary, to tired to sleep, or just simply wanting to experience the glassy eyes, and fuzzy mindedness that came with being in engulfed in his mother's arms. A blanket he could never lose.*

Thank you mama *Whispering in her ear with a grin*

Georgette: *Patting Noémies back as if she were burping a baby, and making a choked noise*

Such a big boy. When did you get so big huh? I remember you more when you were closer to my ankles, than a foot past my head.

*They both laugh breathily as they embrace*

*Georgette re-adjusts her head off Noémie's shoulder, to look over it*

You know you're my love, and my love resides in my heart. So...

just don't break it, okay?

Noémie: *Kissing the side of my mother's umber neck*

I'll try not to.

Flashforward to Friday, 4:35 PM, after-school at Bellamy's.

Bellamy: *Laying on Noémie's naked chest, on her bed, while looking out the window with daydreams in her eyes. Dazed by Noemies rhythmic motion of his fingers grazing up and down the hills that form her spine. Lulled by the orgasm Noémie provided with his greedy mouth. Licking, and sucking all of the sweet sap that makes Bellamy, her own brand of saccharine.*

I'm bored Azure. *Lifting her head to Whispering along his neck*

Noémie: What do you want to do Bell? *Kissing her dampened forehead*

Bellamy: mmm...*humming curiously, when she suddenly straddles Azure- looking intensely into his smoke colored irises

Can I- can I do your makeup? *As she giggles adorably, with a pleading look. Bellamy should know she doesn't have to beg twice for anything when asking Noémie.*

Noémie: Okay. *Smiling up at Bellamy, low lidded. He swiftly sits up on the crumpled, floral duvet. One arm making its way around Bellamy's dipped waist, and the other rising to move a brown fly away from the front of her eye. tucking it into the rest of the messy nest atop her head- only to travel and scratch the nape of her neck while cradling her soft jaw and one of cherry pink cheeks*

Bellamy: *Kissing Noémie's cheek as a silent thank you* I'll be right back, just stay there- oh! but put a shirt on, my mom should be back soon. * Giddly running to her connecting bathroom*

Noémie: K. *watching Bellamy walk away until she's out of sight.* *Noémie flops backwards onto to queen size bed. Heaving out a loud, but content sigh*

The time is now 6:57pm and Noémie is sitting with their back against Bellamys headboard, as Bell makes home on his lap again. Various eyeshadow palettes, brushes, lipsticks and liners take up space on either side of them. The sun has set, and the only sources of light illuminating them are the fairy lights littered around the borders of her room, and the bulbs from the wide vanity mirror- sitting at the foot of her bed. Producing a cream colored hue that borders the line of yellow. Bellamy blocking Noémie's self reflection*

Bellamy: *Smacking her teeth with mild irritation* Stop moving Azure! I'm trying to match your eyes!

Noémie: Sorry-sorry. *But of course this apology is empty and short lived as my curiosity gets ahead of me and I reach for one of the many brushes*

What's this one for? *My droopy, doe eyes look directly into Bellamys auburn ones. A childlike wonder present.*

Bellamy: AZURE! Look down please! *Saying with a tired sigh*

Noémie: Sorry!...How much longer Bell? I'm getting restless here. * slightly pouting *

Bellamy: *Putting down the brush, only to pick up a tube of mascara*

Not much, this is the last thing. *Quickly kissing said pout*

I did everything else mon cheri. Now, let's excentuate those feathers you call lashes. Look up.

Noémie: *Looking up with no reluctance*

I hope me sitting here for nearly two hours was worth it.

Bellamy: shh, look at me. *Applying a semi-thick coat of the obsidian substance onto Noémie's bottom lash*

*Bellamy then closes the tube, and sits back to take her work in*

jolie *Bellamy whispers*

Noémie: Are you finished? *asking in exasperation*

Bellamy: Yes, go take a look for yourself. *Climbing off of Noémie's lap*

I'm going to see what Ma is making. You can stay for dinner, just call home and tell them. And if your thinking about coming down, please, please, take the makeup off. I have remover in the third drawer to the bottom in the bathroom.

Noémie: *waiting for Bellamy walk away, I then manuveur to the edge of the bed, and takes a seat on the stout, white seating that's usually placed beneath the wide dresser*

*All of a sudden, thousands, maybe millions of butterflies awakened from the deepest, darkest abyss of my belly. I'd never seen myself in this light before, but God- never again, do I want to return to the shadows. Pulchritudinous, simply pulchritudinous. So gorgeous, I could be mistaken for a woman. And for some reason that thought comforts me. Dopamine was working overtime, and the Euphoric pixie dust that sifts from the butterflies wings- fulffils me with something sweet. The missing puzzle piece has been put into place, but I still cannot decipher the entiretyof its picture. My brows are untouched due to their natural fulness. Lips garnet with a brown, ombre hue. Cheekbones glitter in every direction I turn- as there were microscopic diamonds residing on my face. Lashes, darkened and elongated for miles, to the point where every blink tickles the hoods of my lids. The eyes seem as if they're sunken into my face a little more, as they're colored with a faint coat of taupe and a dash of rosewood, in order to promote a tired beauty. My natural beauty marks are the icing and tie the look together. I lean back to take myself in. The curls and waves are perfectly positioned. I sit on the backs of my hands, and slowly roll my neck around. Keeping eyes on the reflection, during my entire admission of sex appeal. Just then, the belongings hat lay strewn upon her vanity catch my eye. An antique brush with a matching antique comb and handheld mirror, lay to the right. A few dangly earrings lined in the middle, a bit tarnished- but still hold a wearable beauty to them. To the left, I see atomizer perfumes of various shades. From mint green, to lily pink, and a sort of whisky brown. I pick up the lily pink, squeeze a fair amount on my left wrist and rub them together. Taking a whiff of the candy sweet scent that now lyes embedded in my pores. The light in Bellamys closet now nags at my curiosity. I begin to think of all the pretty and overly feminine outfits she wears. The kitten heels, or blush pink Mary Jane's she always keeps in tip top shape. The tuft sleeves on a few of her blouses, and skin tight jeans or slacks- if she owns a pair. The ruffled and floral printed socks. The midrift of crop tops, and tiny glimpses of her cotton underwear that show, whenever she bends down in a miniskirt. A different nail polish color sitting on her fingers every other day. A large bottle of lavender scent lotion sitting underneath her bathroom sink, waiting to soften her skin. Or sitting on the edge of her tub, naked with white suds of shaving cream on her legs and under arms. Positioning herself at awkward angles, and taking up a large chunk of her me- time, just to appeal to the male gaze. Sometimes, id like to switch brains with Bellamy, and maybe bodies too. Feel what she feels, do what she does.

I'm jealous...

I'm envious...

Jealous for the fact that I am the one,

that must want all of what she has been giving me. But I can't be all of what she wants.

Envious because I am the seeker, and she is the sought.

Ive realized Ive spiraled and have returned to the fairies. My chin unknowingly begins to wobble in defeat. My throat tightens for a longing relief. Saltwater teeters at the edge of my lower lash lines- ready to tread grayish tracks down my cheeks. Then the obnoxious creaks of old wood from the staircase, causes me to blink back such sadness. Nauseated by my own emotional constipation.

Bellamy: *Swinging her door open, yet remaining in the doorway, as eyes instantly land on Noémie's*

Ah! Still in a full face, i see! * She says with joking humor*

Noémie: yeah, I'm just...in shock? I think that's the right word. * I chuckle softly, and look down to avoid Bellamy's "ability to sense tension", sort of ways.*

Bellamy: mmm *humming thoughtfully, while slowly making her way towards Noémie*

Good shock, or back shock? *straddling herself onto Noémie's lap. Blocking his self reflection once again.*

Noémie: um...not good, nor bad. Just shock. I've never seen myself in such a way before, amour. It's...a bit overwhelming. *Staring at all the maximized features, marks, and edges upon Bellamys face since they're only inches apart. Wishing his own exuded a powdery softness to them, as they do Bellamy's*

Bellamy: Well, I think you look...sexy. But, graceful at the same time. A sight for sore eyes, Azure.

Noémie: ah * clicking their tongue, and whispering with a shyness. Bashful that such compliments are thrown their way.*

No- no. Simply not true. I could never compare to you. *A depressing truth, underlying the compliment*

Bellamy: it is true, but I thank you. *Giggling contently.*

*Noémie and Bellamy stare at eachother long enough for the lustful tension that had been dealt with earlier, to pick up and permeate again. Bellamy begins to take heavier breaths, and Noémie licks the top of her breast that peek outside of the tops of her white tank.*

Bellamy: Azure. *Whispering harshly with a hidden whimper*

Please! *Whisper yelling into the cooled night*

Noémie: *Moves their mouth from their breast, to the point where neck meets collarbone. Eyes closed for a moment as they suck on her bittersweet skin. Then their eyes open, and land on the image of the top half of their face showing, and the bottom half is covered by a sex- starved Bellamy, sitting in their lap. They recognize the hauty gaze, but quickly become entranced by the exposed top portion of bellamys back, and the rococo flyaways on her hairline. The grip on Bell tightens with an unamed need.*

Bellamy: AZURE. *She whisper yells, again*

Noémie: Yes Bell?

Bellamy: *Tightens her grip on the nape of Noémie's neck. Bringing him closer to her chest*

Please...please fuck me. * She whimpers into the top of his hair. Moaning as Noémie confirms with a sexual response.*

*Still staring at the back of Bellamy, in the vanity, Noémie yanks her flimsy top down. Hands roaming across the flawless back that harbors a large beauty mark lying off center to the right of her spine. Noémie's trance is interrupted when Bellamy notices that he has yet to make a move. She removes herself, heads in the direction of her bed with a hand reached out behind her for Noémie to take. Tits out and all. Noémie grabs her hand with a lose grip. Settling back into their hypnosis*

Bellamy: But first. *Shifting Noémie to the front of them, and lightly forcing them to lay flat on the bed*

I want to take care of you. *Bellamy says, as she chases them down with a spit swapping kiss. Casually moving open mouth kisses down their body, with one hand resting on their belly button, the other gripping a hip. Starting at their bobbing throat, onto the blushing sternum, making a trail to the valley of their stomach.*

Noémie: mmmah! *Breathily moaning while cradling Bell's head to their tummy. Low lidded eyes, feasting upon an insatiable lover*

Bellamy: *Subtely licking and nibbling along the heated torso, down to v shaped pelvis

*The gentle bites take Noémie by surprise*

Noémie: * His back arches off the bed, bent knees close around Bells sides as she resides between my legs- on her knees. Throwing their head back. Producing a long and drawn out moan that's delivered in a higher pitch.*

Aaaaaah! fuck, fuck, fuck Bell! * Panting out such profanity harshly. A wet patch of pre-cum staining the Baby blue colored briefs.*

*Noémie swallows thickly*

fe-feels, feels so- ah

*Throwing their head back again, and clenching their eyes shut tight- as one of Bellamy's hands soothe the ache*

Bellamy: *Suddenly, kissing the imprint of Noémie, and giggling rather seductively*

Feels good? Huh?

Noémie: *All Noémie can do is hum ambiguously. Taking their time in opening their eyes, but leaving them to rest upon the creamy white ceiling. Never had he laid himself bare and vulnerable to Bellamy in such a sexual manner. Always, was he on top. Always, was he in control. Never, was he submissive. But the smell of sex drowned out his confusion. Clouding all subconscious cautionary signs that begged him to slow down.*

Bellamy: Well, *Still kissing along Noémies briefs*

What I'm about to do, is gonna feel even better. Don't you want more than just a quick suck, or lousy handjob...

pretty boy?

* Noémies eyes snap open, and his syrupy, sex delayed brain comes to. Realizing the words that have just been uttered are like the contrast of frost bitten ice cream on fevered skin. Noémie looks down, and for a moment, instead of Bellamy sitting on their knees, desperate for a mouth full of manhood, Apollo takes her place. With a condescending laugh, and a suffocating dominance, Apollo now bares full control of Noémie's pleasure. But Noémie knows his wild imagination should not interrupt a time like this. And as Bellamy is about to make the next move in pulling down Noémie's briefs, he swiftly raises up on his feet and knocks down Bellamy- from her knees to her bum. Leaving her in bitter shock and frustration as to what the hell just happened.*

Noemie: *Staring down at Bellamy as their briefs hang so low- to the point of showing a bit of their cocks base.*

I- um, um, I'm not ready, Bellamy. *For some reason, my eyes turn glassy, and this causes me to turn on my heel, making a beeline for the connecting bathroom*

Bellamy: Azure! Wait-

Noémie: I'm not staying for dinner. * stating with a bite in my tone and my back still facing them as I semi-slam the door*

Bellamy: *Remaining on the ground in pure shock with blurred vision. Flinching to the loud slam. A sense of embarassment, shame and disgust weights heavy on her shoulders.*

Noémie: *Noémie yanked open the third drawer, found the makeup remover, roughly smearing and smudging the makeup off their face. Refusing to look at themselves in the mirror, because if they did, to them- the world would end. Or at least their world and everything they knew to be true of it.*

*Noémie finishes cleaning their face the best to their abilities. With lips stained red, unintentional smokey eyes, and flushed cheeks. He opens the door and walks past a dejected Bellamy. Ready to step out of her room that suddenly feels too claustrophobic. Grabbing his bookbag, coat, and whatever else is left behind.*

Bellamy: Wait Azure! *She rises to her feet, walking to him, grabbing his forearm in a surprisingly tight grip.*

Noémie: Please, Bellamy I- *Sustaining from looking into her guilt ridden eyes*

I'm not ready! I know we've- * I whisper yell*

Bellamy: Look! I'm sorry if it seems like I'm pushing you into fucking me. I'm ready and I know you aren't but you don't even try, or when you do, it always leads to the same ol thing! For fuck sake Noémie! I mean, at least my friends boyfriends like them enough to fuck them. Do you even like me?! *Grabbing Noémie's chin to look at her, while practically yelling*

Noemie: *A pregnant pause ensues*

No...Bellamy....I don't like you...I-

I love you...That's the difference between your friends boyfriends and I...

Is that I care about you-

I care about you so much- that I am overly cautious about you making a life altering decision with someone who could potentially break your heart in the end.

*It's Noémie's turn to give Bellamy a look so close to hatred, despite the words that have been uttered in a whispered baritone*

*Bellamy let's go of Noémie's chin as he walks away. Planted in her spot, near her bedrooms doorway. Watching him walk down the creaky wooden floors, past the den, and hearing him walk out the front door. All accusations of her lack of trust in Noémie, shot down by such confession. Full of so many questions and concerns.*

*Time is moving quickly as it is now 7:50pm, and Noémie has begun his journey back home. Replaying what just happened over and over again in his head as tears make their own trail down his shimmery cheeks. Wanting nothing more than sleep this trauma off.

As catcalls and scammers try to grab his attention, Noémie realizes how deceiving this path they're taking is in the day, compared to the night. Too stubborn and frustrated to turn back, but too worried to keep going, they've come to a crossroads.*

Noémie: Fuck. *whispering, while looking around aimlessly l, while eyeing the hooded man, that's a little too close for comfort.*

*But across the street, a lighted phone booth catches his eye. Without second thought, Noémie looks both ways, and dashes across the street. Once they've made it inside, and have locked the broken glass tiled door, he takes the few quarters that have been lying about in his coat pockets, and shoves them in the metal, money-eating slit*

Noémie: *For some reason, my mother was not the first person I wanted to comfort me right now. No, I wanted someone I've never had before. A different kind of comfort, a different kind of affection and care...

I wanted Apollo.

It had been days since he'd given me his number, but in those days, during this waiting game... I had looked at his number long enough to memorize it. And so...

I began to dial it.*

*Noémie begins to whisper*

pick up

*Bliiiing*

please, pick up

*Bliiiing*

pick up, pick up, pick up

*Bliiiing*

*Sighing heavily into the reciever* come on- come on!

*Bliiiing*

*Tears return to my eyes.* My God- when did I become so sensitive.

*Bliiiing*

I should just hang-

*A deep, slightly fatigued- but still familiar voice answers*

Apollo: Hello? Who's calling?

Noémie: *I breathe a sigh of relief*

Apollo...it's me Noémie...I'm- I...

I don't want to go home...right now and-

Apollo: Noémie? Uh, where are you calling from?

Noémie: From a phone booth on 3rd Ave. Near the sketchy TV shop across from that hand me down shop.

Apollo: Yeah...yeah, okay, I know where you are. Do you...would you like me to come get you?

Noémie: If it's not too much trouble-

Apollo: Nuh uh, no trouble at all. Can't have pretty boys like you, walking these streets alone...at night for that matter.*stating with a chuckle in his throat*

Noémie: *Giggling into the reciever, as a different kind of flush resides in his cheeks*

*Ah, there it is. That warmth. That feeling, again. That...whatever I was going through that night at the restaurant, and even before- what I had yet to recognize at the party.*

Apollo: *Smiling fondly at the giggle admitting through the reciever. But quickly breaking their brief moment as their tone seems to drop a little lower- almost in an authoritative manner.*

Okay, sweetheart.

Noémie: *There go those damn butterflies again*

Apollo: I want you...to do something for me.

Noémie:...

Apollo: are you listening?

Noémie: yes...I'm listening.

Apollo: Okay, now, if you take a look around you might see a quaint lil Cafe on one of those corners.

Noémie: *Noémie begins to look around- quickly spotting what Apollo has mentioned*

Apollo: Do you see it?

Noémie: Ye- yes. I see it. *Tone a bit more timid but understanding*

Apollo: Great, now- when we get off the phone cause I know you probably don't have long, make your way over there- and wait for me. If they give you any hassle, just say your waiting for your dad or brother to pick you up, okay? I won't be long.

Noémie:...okay.

Apollo:...wow...not only is he a pretty boy...but a good boy as well.

*he whispers teasingly before the line goes flat*

Noémie: *My brain is too busy rebooting- as it's trying to comprehend what was just said. Somehow, I follow his orders and made my way to the Cafe. No hassle at all. I sit by the window facing the main street in order to have a better view of Apollo*

*15 minutes pass*

*The bell indicating a customer has walked in rings*

Apollo: Noémie! * Walking towards Noémie*

Noémie: *Looks up from the book they had began reading. Instantly standing up, and shoving it back into its temporary home.*

...hey! *Promoting a halfway wave with a grin*

Apollo: Come on. Let's get out of here.

*Taking the bag from Noémie, and grabbing their hand to leave.*

*Once Apollo and Noémie leave the Café, and make their way towards Apollo's car parked down the street, Noemie notices Apollo never let's go of their hand. But honestly, Noémie doesnt mind.*

Noémie: um...you don't have to carry my bag Apollo.

Apollo: Nah, it's okay Noémie. It's gonna be in my backseat in a minute anyways. *Giving them a reassuringly smile*

*They make it to a red, 1979 Toyota Corona. Apollo opening Noémie's door, and ensuring they get in safely. Apollo puts the bag in the back, and settles in. As they begin to drive, a comforting silence embraces them until Apollo interrupts.*

Apollo: I yuh, I didn't think you would use my number for this but- I'm not mad about...in fact, I didn't think you would call me at all.

*They say with one hand on the steering wheel, while taking a quick glance at Noémie*

Noémie: Um, well...I've been busy with school starting up again and uh, Bellamy has been preoccupieing my time, and uh I've, I've been uh...thinking....is all.

Apollo: I understand school, I understand your uh...your girlfriend but thinking?... What have you been thinking about?

Noémie: Thinking about your proposal, and everything you've said...

*That pregnant pause returns*

...I-I wanna do it. *Shakliy whispering while shyly picking at a piece of thread on their jeans*

Apollo: *Smiling widely, and taking more glances between Noémie and the road*

Okay...then let's do it.

Noémie: * Finally looks into Apollos hazel eyes for a brief moment. A bashful smile planted on their face.*

...okay. *whispering so softly, it's inaudible.*

Time jump to 8:30pm at Apollos apartment.

Noémie: *Pacing back and forth on the wire phone with their mother, in the living room. The electric blue dialer in hand.*

yes, ma mére...

I'll be sleeping at Bell's for the night-

No-no, nothing of the sort will happen I prom-

Ma mére, I told you the time got away from us and...*My shoulders arise in a shrug*

The time got away from us! I promise nothing will happen- OR has happened...*Rolling my eyes*

Okay...okay...I love you, goodnight...see you tomorrow. *A quick kiss into the reciever and I hang up*

*I sigh exhaustingly and flop onto the yellow, velvet couch. Staring off into the distance until I realize Apollo is sitting to the left of me, and speaks up.*

Apollo: where were you coming from?

Noémie: huh? * I ask, because I didn't hear them the first time*

Apollo: where were you coming from? Before you called me? * Eyebrow slightly raising in curiosity, as well as their tone.*

Noémie: *I look down shyly again and begin to fidget with the silver hoop in my ear*

I was...I was at Bellamy's.

Apollo: mmm *they hum in understanding, and a means for me to keep talking.*

Noémie: yeah. *I softly say, continously twirling at the hoop in my ear*

Apollo: But you sounded upset, or aggravated when you called...what's that about?

Noémie: Nothing - nothing, I was just worried, ya know? About the area I was in and-

Apollo: But why did you call me? I mean, out of all people. Out of your mother? Father? Hell, even Bellamy? You called me....why? *They go off listing everyone on their fingers*

Noémie:...uum...well..I...um..well *I stare off into the distance, continously smacking my lips, and swallowing the knot in my throat. Fidgeting faster with the hoop as saltwater starts rushing to the forefront of my eyes. Disregarding the little dignity I had left.*

Apollo: Noémie *Whispering sympathetically*

Noémie: *And the tears flow as I admit rather loudly, all of the earlier events catching up with me. Hitting me like fist that have backed me into a corner.*

We got into a fight! * I heave out between my cries*

A bad one! Really bad! *I stumble out again as my shoulders shake*

Apollo: *Moving closer to Noémie. Wrapping their right arm around them in a comforting manner.*

Hey, hey. Just breathe, sweetheart. *Whispering into their left ear*

Noémie: *Still crying but it takes a minute of being soothed by the others voice*

Apollo: That's it. That's goods, sweetheart.

* Rubbing up and down Noémie's back, and rocking them side to side.*

Noémie: *Leaning closer into Apollo. Almost nuzzling the point that meets neck and collarbone. An oddly familiar position. But the cries quiet down, until all that is left is sniffles, whimpers and whines.*

Apollo: I hate to see pretty boys cry. *laughing lightly*

Noémie: oh goodness. *Chuckling wetly*

Apollo: But she... she didn't hurt you, right? *Returning to a serious tone*

Noémie: No! Fuck no, just arguing. * I hiccup and sniffle in reply*

Apollo: Okay, okay. About?

Noémie: Well...Bellamy and I have been together for a while. And we've...we've done everything together, but that... ya know?

Apollo:...I see. * Instantly catching on while staring at Noémie with furrowed brows.*

Noémie- And she, she's ready but I'm...I'm just not. And I'm starting to think I'll never be- I mean she has initiated so many times but I just can't...* I tremble out the last part weakly*

... And it's just so frustrating not being able to give her that, ya know?

I love her... I love her so much, and yet- I can't even show her in one of the most intimate ways possible. * tears returning for a brief moment, but gone as soon as they arrive as Apollo turns their head towards them to dry them with the back of his bent fingers. Noticing little black smudges along the backs of them. While Noémie avoids looking into their eyes so closely, as their just inches away.*

Apollo: Ya know...if you loved Bellamy so much, you wouldn't have to keep bringing her up- every chance you get to reassure yourself that you do.*admitting with a gentle yet affirming tone, while moving to craddle Noémie's face, as Noémie gently grasp their wrist to ground themselves*

Noémie: * Eyebrows furrowing in confusion*

What do you mean, Apollo? *Tone a little defensive*

Apollo: *He pushes back a fly-away from Noémie's forehead, only for his hand to travel to the outer nape of his neck, and thumb to graze rhythmically back and forth along the glimmering cheek. Again, an oddly familiar position.*

I think...there is more to you- than you realize, Noémie. *Admitting, with planted lips to Noémie's forhead*

*Apollo pulls away to look at Noémie*

Apollo: And I can't wait to be there, when you see it.

*Smilling at Noémie with closed lips, and tiny crows feet. Nothing but adoration hanging in their eyes, as they pull back their hands.*

*Noémie pulls back his hands with them. Still a confused look in their eye, but content nonetheless*

Apollo: Now. *His voice lowers as he stand up from the couch*

Let's get you to bed, pretty boy. I'm guessing you're not hungry, so sleep is next on the list.

Noémie: Uh, yeah. I could sleep. *meekly spilling out*

I can take the couch.

Apollo:...Is that what you want, Noémie?

Noémie: *It isn't what I want at all.*

I don't wanna intrude into your personal space. *Talking as if it's obvious as to why I would take the couch.*

Apollo: I think we're past THOSE kinds of formalities, sweetheart. *laughing breathily while looking down at Noémie's still, seated figure.*

Noémie: Well, no. I wouldn't mind sharing the bed, I suppose. *Admitting with a child like shyness. As if i were the epitome of downcast eyes, fidgeting fingers and rocketing on heels- back and forth.*

Apollo: Come on then. *Lending out a hand for Noémie to grab*

Noémie: *too tired to hesitate, he wordlessly takes it.*

*They make their way to Apollo's room. It's spacious, a little cluttered but it adds character. Four different cameras lye on the desk, by the floor to wall window- lacking in curtains. Photos littered atop the desk.

A pair of baggy jeans with a brown belt, laid across the back of its chair. A crumpled box of cigarettes opened on the nightstand that shelves vinyls and a glass stained, Tiffany lamp. A box television is placed in the corner of the room, directly facing the bed. The feel of orange, shag carpet, runs beneath my crew socked feet. An overflowing hamper near the floor to wall mirror that slides open into a closet. The walls are tattered in faded green wallpaper, with creamy, regal designs. A king size bed with a rustic, metal headboard with what seems to be colorful christmas lights, twirled around its railings, lyes in the middle of the room. Really giving that lofty, feng-shui feel. Looking to left, a door is cracked- showing small black and white tiles on the flooring, indicating a connecting bathroom. After Noémie's quick but thorough observation, he moves to the middle of the room, and sits at the foot of the bed.*

Apollo: * Coming from the closet with an oversized, ragged graphic tee, and some plaid briefs for Noémie to change into.*

Here. *Handing the clothes to Noémie*

The bathrooms over there for you to change. * Pointing to the black and white tiled room- Noémie just observed.*

*Instead of Noémie making his way to the bathroom, he makes the bold move of taking his clothes off then and there. He removes his shirt to put on the graphic tee that reaches mid-thigh, and pulls down their jeans along with their briefs- to quickly pull the plaid boxers on. Manhood exposed to the air, but concealed to the eyes, for only a moment. Apollo watching the change in their peripheral.

Apollo following suit, but only removing their shirt and sweatpants. Leaving them in their black briefs.*

Noémie: *Pulling back the bohemian style duvet and white sheet, I climb onto the side with the perfect view of the outside world. Hands cuddling under the pillow that supports my head, seeking warmth that the duvet can't fully give. I begin to close my eyes - when I begin to feel Apollo's hand, rest on my right hip.*

Apollo: Noémie? * Whispering into the chilly night*

Noémie: Yes, Apollo? *Eyes moving down to the hand on them*

Apollo: Move back a little.

Noémie: *I hesitate to do so. But do so nonethless. Scooching back an inch or two.*

Apollo: A little more. * he utters again*

Noémie: *Moving back some more until they hit a solid body. Noémie a little caught off guard but not too surprised by it. More surprised by the lingering touch against their abdomen. Still facing the window.*

*The hand that lay on Noémie's hip, now settles on his tummy. Pulling him fully against Apollo's front and staying their. Apollo manuveuring their head to lay somewhat on the side of Noémie's. Legs against and between eachothers. Bodies entangled so gorgeously- making it hard to tell where one begins and the other ends. Noémie could cry at such affection. And not because they don't want it.*

Apollo: Tell me if this is too much, beloved?

Noémie: no- no. *Moving one of their hands from underneath the pillow, to settle on top of Apollo's much larger one, lying against his stomach. Eyes closing in fatigued contentment. Noémie breathes out these final words.*

It's not to much at all...It's perfect.

*These are the last words Apollo hears from Noémie for the night. He grins into his hair, and places a gentle kiss against their Obsidian locks.*

Apollo: Goodnight, Noémie. *Whispering into the air, while closing their own aching lids.*

Left with the thought of how magnificient this flower will be, once it blossoms. Of course, there is the saying, "age before beauty", and with that comes self- restraint. But patience is not a virtue. The act of waiting is....

Stoicism, has never been my forte.

Thank you all so much for waiting! I hope you think it was worth it! Now, we're finally diving into the good stuff and seeing Noémie open up to Apollo, as well as opening up to themselves. We also saw Bellamy reveal a side of herself that had been hidden by Noemies rose tinted glasses. As we progress, we will see how Noémie battles the struggle of identifying themselves, while falling in and out of love, upholding promises, establishing themselves in the world, without breaking anyone's heart, losing the people close to them in the process, and still being happy. There will be really high-high's, and the lowest of the lows. Well kept secrets unraveling. And true colors being shown. But through all that, will the love that the people in Noémie's lives strengthen, as he goes through such drastic changes? Or weaken and crumble entirely?

Love Yall!! I'm still figuring out tumblr and how to navigate it since I've started posting yall. Once I get the hang of it, yall can't tell me shit! LMFAO. But I'll try to make a taglist, masterlist, and all the damn list. Just give me time!😤✊🏼💜

P.S. this song suits this chapter so fucking well!!!👌🏼😭🖤

AGAIN! NO PLAGIARIZING!!!🤬🤬🤬

Warning ⚠️: Mentions of Sexual behavior, and hints of Body Dysphoria and self-hate...I believe that's it.

No Plagiarism Allowed!!!😡😡

P.S. There will be flash forwards, changes in POV's, etc. Also, this Chapter is fairly long😭 You have been warned lol

Date: January 8th, 1985 (Noémie's birthday(

Time: 7:45 AM

Location: A brownstone somewhere in Brooklyn, New York.

Noémie's POV:

The sun found its way through my Tulle curtains.

Sweat from the Eastern Summer trailed down my neck and behind my knees, causing slightly asthmatic lungs to faintly wheeze - yet the desire for a slight breeze was tainted by the abundant images of naked women. The magazine lye limp and soggy between my hands. I began to feel that familiar pubescent ache in my lower abdomen as I ogled these beautiful women. My left hand loosened its grip on the flimsy book and traveled to the base of my neck where the collarbone began. I closed my eyes and felt the rhythmic up and down of my Adam's apple, and what felt like the pressure of a rubber band tied around my esphogaus. A lustful asphyxiation if you will. All Bodily senses turning on autopilot. First, my hearing began to wane, and my brain became muddled and scrambled with tits and soft waistlines. All of a sudden, I was thirsty for these women I've never met before. Women who wouldn't give a damn about me but care enough to get me off. It amazed me how lewd to the world they could they could be. Imagining them with their legs cocked open, to a room full of makeup artist, photographers, and all the people that contribute to displaying their sinful beauty, getting a glimpse of such personified saccharine. Such debauchery.

As my hand dissappears into my brief like shorts, soothing the ache, I begin to curate this distant image in my head that overpowered all of the other soft tits and waistlines. A figure, a person. Toned legs leading to a decently full ass, narrow hips attached to a feminine curvature. Skin like bronze, with a classic copper shine. Breast that I'd look at for hours. My hand moves faster, breath heavier-

Georgette (Noémie's mother): *Knocking on Noémie's room door* Azure? Azure? Can I come in?

Noémie: *I sigh frustratingly. Quickly hiding the magazine under my pillow while whipping my tainted hand on the sheets*

Uh...yeah! YEAH!

Georgette: *Slowly opening the door and peeking her head in.* Happy Birthday Yene Fikir.

Noémie: *Smiling Softly* Thank you ma mere.

Georgette: *Walking through the door to sit at the foot of Noémie's bed* How did you sleep? *She ask while kissing Noémie's forehead*

Noémie: Well. I slept well. Ready for the day. *Giggling softly*

Georgette: Ah yes, it is your day after all. Which brings me to my gift-

Noémie: Ma meeeere *I whine* You did not have to get me anything. Watching old French films and good food is enough. You haven't made Injera in a while.

Georgette: Hush, let your mother finish talking eh?

Noémie: Sorry, sorry * I laugh heartily, while sitting up to peck her cheek* Finish please?

Georgette: As I was saying, my gift to you is coming to the set with me...

Noémie: I always come to the set with you * I shrug, and tilt my head to the left* What's so different now?

Georgette: Well, I noticed I don't have as many pictures of you as I did when we were back in Lyon. I lost too many to count as we were relocating to the U.S. So, I figured to make up for it, if I couldnt keep those still memories of you as my little baby, I can start again with you as my fully grown, beautiful boy. *Smiling with tears in her eyes full of love and adoration*

Noémie: ah ma mere * I whisper. Wrapping my arms that I didn't even realize had got so long, strong, and big enough to protect the most important woman in my arms right now*

I'll do it. Jetaime *Kissing her all over her face*

Georgette: OKAY! OKAY! *Laughing wildly while struggling to push Noémie off*

Enough! *Standing up from the bed with quickness, dashing to the door* Hurry up, and get ready. We're leaving at 9. *She says, closing the door behind her*

Noémie: K! *I yell out as I flop back onto the bed. All vulgar thoughts of Bellamys body gone as quick as they came. Instead I stretch, take a deep breathe, examine my quaint little bedroom, and abruptly yank the sheets off of my body. I make my way to the bathroom across from my room. Exposed to the crisp morning, and crossing paths with my father on my short trip there.*

Good Morning mon père *I whisper while hugging him*

Constantin(Father): Good morning my boy! Happy Birthday *Kissing the sides of Noémie's face as he holds them in his hands*

Dix-huit * Clicks tongue in disbelief* My gorgeous boy. *He says while looking into his sons stormy grey eyes for a few moments too long*

Noémie: I have to get get ready papa * I whine out with fondness*

Constantin: Ok, ok. I leave you to it mon coeur. *Leaving another quick peck on his cheeks*

Noémie: *I finally make my way to the bathroom. Complete all of the menial little task that one does in everyday life to keep going. Brush my teeth, shower, dry off, moisturize- all of those little things and such when I realize, I haven't taken one glance at this 18 year old version of me. So, I unloosen the towel around my narrow waist and indulge in myself. Turning to the full length wicker mirror that sits upon a baby pink wall, starting at my feet, I see the same boney toes and veins that run atop my talus. I bring them together, seeing if they're the same size they have been for the past three years. They are. Moving onto my calfs that bend slightly outward confirming that there is a set of subtle bowed legs to come and coated with faint fuzz. Connected to boring knees. Next are my thighs that have always had a natural muscle to them that could border thickness, and also covered in the lightest of brown, almost honey blond hair. My hips surprise me, as I've never noticed how feminine they could be. Sharp hip bones and attached to a soft v shaped pelvis, yes- but feminine none the less. And for some reason, I grin while grazing my sides. And for some reason, that grin falls when I look at my...self. The most masculine part of me, the anatomy that's suppose to make me who I am...A boy. It's not ugly, it's just there. But why is it there?- I mean I know why it's there it's iust in the way...The way? Not in the way! I don't know what I mean. *Noémies subconscious sighs harshly* Anyways, I analyze the beauty marks that grace my moderately toned torso. Eyes bouncing back and forth as if they were playing pinball, climbing up my chest and reaching my rosey mauve colored nipples. My left hand rubs across my sternum, soothing the ache of a weight that's missing, and I have yet to identify. I look to my left arm, turn it, flex it, examine all of its curves and sharp turns fused to a dainty wrist that is fused to veiny palmes and long finger. I look to my right arm, commence the same exercise of turning, flexing, and taking note of petite wrist that exist among gawky fingers. My eyes then travel to my prominent, straight collarbone. I tilt my head up a little to inspect my long neck as it harbors an apple that bobs whenever I swallow, cough, laugh, etc. An apple I sometimes fantasize about ripping out. Wondering what would be left if it weren't there.

I'm coming to the end of this drawn out anatomical journey as I look upon my defined jaw, connected to the hand carved dent resting in the middle of my chin. A gift i recieved from my papa. Fulls lips I recieved from my mother. The top one a darker malaya garnet pink than the bottom one. An emphasized cupids bow, a strong and upturned nose with a mole that rest on its tip. Big, droopy eyes colored harbored grey, with thick and feathery, chestnut brown lashes to protect such windows. Of course brows so thick, you could almost call it a unibrow. An average size forehead with a healed scar near my hairline, the size of a pinky. A mix of curls and waves lay atop my head , waiting to be tamed.*

Not bad. Not bad at all. *I speak aloud.*

And yet, I am left unsatisfied.

I never cared for taking pictures.

Flashforward to Georgette (Noémie's mother) and Noémie walking down stairs that lead to the to the subway.

Noémie: I thought we were going to your studio for the photos?

Georgette: That was my original plan but I thought those were too...formal. I want to capture you Azure. Your essence, that thing you find in off guard Polaroids, and cheap disposable cameras. I miss being able to look at your adorable little, concentrated face, or the face you use to make when you would be in awe of the world around you. I don't have any of those anymore. *offering a somber joy to Noémie*

Noémie: mmh *I hum and nod my head with furrowed brows in understanding, that then turn into confusion*

Well, why don't you have a camera mère?

Georgette: I'M not going to be the one taking them. Now I tried to get Bruce or Annie to do this but they were busy and booked. So, even though this was my last resort, I decided to give this upcoming photographer a chance.

Noémie: Have I heard of them?

Georgette: Uh, no. Most likely not. I mean- I did invite them to the New Years party but there were so many people and you were so wrapped up with Bellamy, I doubt you had enough time to meet everyone. On top of that, their just making a name for themselves.

Noémie: What's their name?

Georgette: they should be here by now. Would be inconsiderate of them if they were late since I am paying their as-AH! There he is. *As she looks around the subway platform, whispering to herself until her eyes find what she's looking for*

Noémie: *My eyes move in curiosity, and irritation due to my mother's withhold in information, to a man jogging towards us with a Pentax K10000 around his neck.

As I cast upon those familiar hazel eyes, I am submerged in a gelatinous pool of nostalgia. Feeling as though I've time traveled back to the New Years party. The remembering of remembering last year. The phantom smell of Bellamys sex and Creme brulee. The overly bitter taste of cheap, headache inducing champagne. The numbingly, cold water overflowing onto my hand- somehow leading me to a man that left me bashful and full of what if's?

Georgette: Noémie, meet the young and promising photographer, Apollo Doukas. Apollo, meet my love, my heart, my joy, Noémie Azure Mistique. *She says somewhat boisterous, and proud. Grabbing onto Noémie's left arm to pull them closer*

Apollo: *Smiling widely, with a hint of mischief.* Why thank you for such an introduction, and not to offend you Mrs. Mistique but Noémie and I have met before- during the party you hosted at the beginning of this year. *He admits to Georgette, without taking his eyes off Noémie*

Noémie: Yes, we've met before ma mére. I think we're past the awkward introductions. *Gr

Georgette: Ah, well, then this should be fairly easy for you then...right Mr. Doukas?

Apollo: Of course- and please, Apollo Mrs. Mistique. We've known eachother for a fair amount of time to still be so formal. *chuckling amusingly*

Georgette: Then we should get started, Apollo. I appreciate you doing this. I wanted to make this birthday more...sentimental for Azure. We lost so many photos moving here. He hardly remembers cause they were only three-four. I'm sure it was all a blur, but I just want to make sure I have memories, and special moments of and with them to hold onto. What better day, than to start on your 18th birthday. *Swiftly kissing Noémie's cheek*

Apollo: I see. Well you can trust me when I say, these photos will be just as beautiful as you both. And I'm ready to begin whenever you are Mrs. Mistique.

Georgette: How do you want to do this Azure?

Noémie: *I'm caught off guard by my mother's question and tilt my head in confusion, once again*

Um, I didn't have an idea in mind. I thought this was planned out already-

Apollo: Excuse me to interrupt but I believe its best if I hang back. Stay near you, not close to you. I don't want them to look like three friends having a good time, ya know? I want my point of view to be from the point of view of a stranger seated at a table across from you- not sitting at the table with you. So, don't pay me any mind Noémie. Mrs. Mystique I know you've probably gotten use to my funny ways. *Talking with a smug grin*

Georgette: What lenses did you bring?

Apollo: 16, 23, and 35mm.

Georgette continues to talk with Apollo as all three of them walk onto the train. Noémie in his hazy state of post nostalgia, daydreaming about the confrontation they've just had when their thoughts are disturbed by Apollo again.

Apollo: I'm going to mix with the crowd. And you can just...exist. Closer to the end of this, I would like to get some up close, personal, and fixed shots. Just to have a good mix of both. And don't worry about me being able to keep up. I'll do just fine. *He finalizes to my mother and I, as he makes his way to a seat at an angle and distance that would slowly erase his presence from my mind.*

Noémie and Georgette go on about their day. Filled with breakfast on Soho. Taking a walk through Harlem. Shopping a bit in Chelsea. Window shopping all over. Until they end up at a restaurant, in a cozy little pocket of Chinatown- not many people know about. They eat light in order to prepare for the trip back home. Laugh till their sides hurt, reminisce till their teary eyed, debate on miniscule topics until they can no longer speak, and adore eachother till they can't get enough. Overcooked egg rolls, and hearty wonton soup not being the only thing they're full of.

As they're both gathering themselves, ready to head home. Georgette makes the declaration of needing the restroom, leaving Noémie to wait by themselves at the booth.

Apollo: *With the camera to his face, catching the interaction between Noémie and Georgette from afar, Apollo sees Georgette walk away. This being his que to approach Noémie.*

Apollo: Noémie * He whispers, catching Noémieoff guard*

Sorry, I just wanted to get a few of you closer. The lighting in here is so warm and low. Your mother's not around either so, I'd figure why not take such a beautiful opportunity. *Raising the camera back to their face*

Noémie: That's fine...Did you want me to pose a-

Apollo: no. Continue whatever you were doing...

Pretty boy.

Noémie: *I grin bashfully, looking back out the window* Why that name? I mean, how that name? *chuckling shyly*

*Clicks and shutters of the camera go off at random times. Some surprisng Noémie, causing them to look directly into the lenses*

Apollo: I never noticed how many beauty marks you had on your face that night in the kitchen Noémie. *Click* It still amazes me how your mother hasnt thrown you into the whole modeling industry- I mean, everybody wants to be a model Noémie *click* But not everyone looks like a model. *Click*

Walks like a model. *Click*

Talks like one. *Click*

Carries a graceful, yet raw and amateur like essence like one. *Click*

Endearing like one .*Click, Click*

And possess a beauty that is so suffocating where I'm sure a kiss from you would be that so desperately sought after, breath of fresh.

Noémie: *I gasp lowly, turning my head, fast to the man in front of me. Bewildered by such a comment that has been thrown to a man, from a man. Does he not see what I am? Does he not notice that I possess the very thing that also makes him- HIM as well? Is the testosterone running through my views not strong enough?*

*Click, Click, Clicks, Click*

Apollo: *Capturing the pure look of wonderment that has been tainted with shock on Noémie's face. All the while, Laughing in doing so.*

That's just what I presume all of the girls at your school and on the streets must think when they see you, Noémie.

*Click*

Noémie: *Beginning to fiddle with the small silver hoop on their left ear as I utter these infamous words ive come to know so well.*

I'm not interested in girls at school or women in the street. I have Bellamy.

Apollo: mmh *Humming understandingly while lowering their camera, to grab a napkin near the window*

Noémie: *I watch Apollo grab a blue pin from their crossbows bag and jot down a number I'm not familiar with. Everything feels as though it's moving so fast when suddenly.*

Apollo: Here *Folding the napkin, and having it to Noémie* I have a feeling your mother should be back soon, and I'd like to keep this interaction between you and I, if you don't mind.

Noémie: * I shake my head in a no, confirming that I don't mind at all.*

Apollo: It's my number Noémie. I wanna get a few photos of you for my own upcoming project. It would be shown to the public, and I know that can be overwhelming, but you've got something. Something that needs to be unraveled and seen from a perspective that's not your own, pretty boy. *As they lean onto the table and invite themselves into Noémies space*

Noémie: * I stare quietly while grabbing onto the napkin. A simple napking, somehow becoming a key to a door, I've never unlocked. I look between Apollo's eyes, and lips- trying to read any underlying messages that are being conveyed- if there are any. Enamored in this moment, if you will.*

Apollo: I have to go back and pay my tab. *Talking a bit hasty, but with an air of excitement*

Noémie: Okay * I meekly whisper out*

*In my peripheral I notice a figure, strikingly similar to my mother's, come into view. I take a deep breathe to readjust myself.*

Georgette: Are you ready to go?

Noémie: * I sigh out again, before standing* Yes, ma mére.

*We make it outside, to what is now a cotto candy sky, and dreamy sidewalks- when a few seconds after, Apollo is right behind us*

Georgette turns around, becoming reacquainted with Apollos presence as well.

Georgette: Ah, Apollo! I completely forgot you were here. *As she laughs wholeheartedly*

How has it been for you?

Apollo: Just fine, just fine. These will turn out lovely, Mrs. Mistique. You will be proud.

Georgette: I hope so, your technique was different but not ill fitting, different. It was comfortable. *Courteously complimenting*

Apollo: I'm glad Mrs. Mistique. But, my time is up and I wanna get home before it gets too dark.

Georgette: *She begins digging in her Hang on, I have the cash on me, right now-

Apollo: No, thank you Mrs. Mistique. This is a birthday favor for a special someone.

Georgette: You've been with us all day, please let me give you something in return.

Apollo: It's completely okay. You've already done so much for me, Mrs. Mistique. It's time I show my gratitude. *Revealing a charming smile, with eyes rested upon Noémie, indicating that-that show of gratitude is only for Noémie*

A brief silence settles over the three, as they bask in their day.

Apollo: I should be heading back and getting a jump on developing these. *Turning in the opposite direction from Noémie and Georgette but turning around as of they forgot something* OH! And Happy Birthday Noémie. I dont think I've told you all day. *Proceeding to turn back around*

Noémie: Thank you. *I say, while gazing back at them blankly. Hope that my mother doesn't decipher or catch on the whatever is being conveyed between Apollo and I, non-verbally.*

Georgette: *Turning towards Noémie*

Let's head home, eh?

The time is now 10:23 PM.

Noémie and Georgette made it back home. When Noemie walked through the door, he was hit with the smell of fresh strawberries and butter Creme icing. Constantin (Noémie's father) had baked a cake from scratch to reel in their birthday. Azure sat at the head of their cozy dining table, one parent on either side, as they sung that great old classic that is passed down as soon as were born.

They ate the sweet, sentimental treat. Watched a bit of television until their eyes ached, kissed eachother on the cheek Goodnight, and to bed they went. Noemie now lays in the same position they were found this morning. Staring at the popcorn ceiling littered with paper posters of The Smiths, INXS, Taxi Girl, and Space, gripping onto to the cotton treasure laced with blue numbers.

Noémie: * An anxiety settled in my chest- of a different kind, compared to the overwhelming lust Bellamy radiated on New Years night. I felt a fear for what was to arise if I were to call, a loss I would grieve for the rest of my life if I didn't. Therein lies the catch of re-tellung that old tale of heart against mind, logic against passion.*

*Unexpectedly, my translucent phone lit up with shades of green, red and blue. An incoming caller was rare at a time like this, but due to earlier events, I expected that familiar baritone, boyish voice to fill my ears. Completely forgetting that I have his number, and not the other way around.*

Noémie: Hello *whispering with hints of exhaustion*

Bellamy: Happy Birthday Azure! I've been trying to call you all day! *She airily yells back*

Noémie: oh...hi Bellamy, I've been out with maman all day. I'm sorry. * Fuck! I end up hiding the dissapointment in my voice with fatigue.*

Bellamy...it's just Bellamy.

Thank you for waiting so patiently!😭 I hope you enjoy. By the next chapter and so forth, we will be diving deeper and getting to the nitty gritty from chapter 3 and so forth.

By: Homebodybirkin2003

This chapter will be primarily written from Noémie's (Bellamy's Boyfriend) point of view. The asterisk marks (*) are to symbolize and recognize the characters subconscious/ inner thoughts, behaviors, and movements.

Warnings!!!⚠️ : Mentions of alcohol, drunkness, cursing, mentions of past sexual experiences, lying, invasiveness, and slightly toxic relations.

Noémie Azure Mistique:

Age: 17

Birthday: January 8th, 1967

Place of Birth: Lyon, France

Mother: Ethiopian

Father: Parisian

Current Date & location: January 1st, 1985,

a brownstone somewhere in Brooklyn, New York

12:00 AM

3, 2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEARS! *All the faceless souls yell into nights crossover*

As everyone cheers, and finds a partner to exchange a little affection with in order to bring in this new year, my mind is solely focused on one pair. Bellamy's lips always had the lingering taste of artificially flavored fruit, due to her excessive collection of Claire's chapstick. And cheap champagne, gifted to her parents from the elderly women downstairs. Her body felt so warm and safe in my arms, I'd hope she could feel it too. The feeling of bringing in the new year with someone you adore is fanatical.

Bellamy: Our first new years together Azure. *sighs dreamily* Can't believe we have so many more to go. Just imagine how different we'll be next year.

Noémie:* For some reason, thinking that far along made my eyes glaze with anxiety* I don't wanna think about next year, I just wanna think about right now and be here, present with you. Cause that's all matters right now. I love you Bellamy Beatrice. It was probably always written in stone for me to love you. I just hope stone is as everlasting as they say it is.

Bellamy: *giggling breathily* It doesn't get any better than stone mon cheri.

Just a few seconds before the ball dropped, time had became a welcome acquaintance to us. Our hearts were the only ones that lived on in that moment. Everyone else was just fillers for our lives. There to amplify the love we had for each other.

Bellamy's gaze suddenly adjust to a sharp, lingering stare. A look I sometimes can't decipher between frustration, or lust. But with the context, sex was running through her veins. So potent, I could almost smell the heady musk of her cunt permeate through our little bubble.

I return a softer, subtle gaze. Implying I'm open for the taking. Whatever Bellamy wants, I'd willingly give. Even if I'm not in the mood for connecting our anatomy in such a evolutionary way, but would rather make that great exploration of discover parts of her body I have yet to attend too.

Noémie: What do you need lovely? *I whisper close enough to her ear as our cherub cheeks from the alchol, brush.

Bellamy: I- I want, I want you to- I want...

Noémie: I look at her with anticipation. My body wanting nothing more than to take Bellamy to that small little guest room down the hall to the right, and create a not so innocent little memory for both of us.

But, at the same time, I just wanted to her to ask for the same things as before. Handjobs, fingering, blow jobs, eating her out, hell I'd even be okay with watching eachother get off but God forbid me fucking her. I hope the part of her mind that wasnt affected by Mrs. Abrams intoxicated offerings, settles for

Something that doesn't feel so 20/80.

Bellamy: I want...another drink, is all. *Smiling somewhat sadly*

Noémie: *It somewhat hurt that I felt decompressed by her lie. I knew she wanted much more than another glass full of flat champagne. I could damn near smell her eagerness to fuck me. But this was tricky territory. I could nudge her until she truly confessed, however, that could just make her uncomfortable and forgoe the idea of any intimacy with me for the rest of the night, period. The gesture of fucking for the first time, with someone you love for the first time is the shit you'd see in movies, read in books, and hear about from traditional grandmother's and grandfather's.

In this very moment, I truly understand what my mother means when she still calls me a child. I was thinking like one. Could it be I too afraid to let go of that part of me that I'd never shared with anyone? Or maybe the alcohol was doing anything but letting my inhibitions go? Maybe I was over shooting, and thought too much in wanting to be good for her, that it sexually frustrated me? Maybe I was just unaroused? Somehow, all of these were the wrong answers.*

Are you sure that's all you need?

Bellamy: Yes...I'm sure *kissing Bellamy's cheek*  OH! But water please! I've had enough of this *she raises the empty glass with an empty grin.*

Noémie: Okay *I whisper while giving her forehead a peck*

The difference in lighting from the living room to the kitchen, leaves a comforting ache in my eyes after coming off that high of unspoken wants. The sweet smell of Himbasha and Creme Brulee sits comfortably. A few people linger by the sink, one peeking their head in the fridge, two sitting in front of the oven, drunk off their ass but radiating a genuine happiness. Going into a new year, always feels like ripping out the used pages in an endless notebook. Making it feel as though it were never used until mistakes, lessons, progressions and tragedies, taint every blank space on the white surface.

As usual, I get a little lost in thought as to what awaits me in my life, when a man appears beside me, swiftly taking the glass bottle of water from my hands as the liquid overflows onto the tacky tiled counter.

His abrupt presence startled me, and the quick snatching of the bottle from my hands somewhat irritated me.

Unknown: Sorry about that, you were spilling water everywhere.

Noémie: Oh...*Looking down at their wet hand around the glass and the soaked portion of the counter top*

Fuck, I don't know what I was thinking. My mind s'just off with the fairies. New year and everything.

Unknown: mmm, youre Georgette Mistiques son correct?

Noémie: Um, yeah...and how do you know her?

Unknown: It's quite complicated.

Noémie: You an ex or something? *I ask teasingly*

Unknown: No- no. Nothing of the sort. It's just, she doesn't really care for me is all *He chuckles*

Noémie: ah, well...my mother can be a bit picky with her relationships to people. But, I believe its all for a good reason. People can be a real let down.

Unknown: oh, no need to comfort me. It doesn't bother me that she wants to light my head on fire most of the fucking time. *Laughing without restraint*

You can't make everyone happy.

Noémie: *Giggling* This is true. *I say taking ym eyes off his hazel ones*

What's your name by the way?

Unknown: Apollo, Apollo Doukas. *Grinning charmingly*

Noémie: You probably already know mine but just in case, Noémie Azure Mistique. *Looking bashfully*

Unknown: You know Noémie, forgive me if I misstep or cross a boundary but, you have a face made for magazines. Ever thought of modeling?

Noémie: *I was taken a back by such forwardness. Was he flirting with me or was he being serious? Hopefully I wasn't too transparent for him to see through me*

Uh, no-nope. Um, I like photography though but how could I not ya know? My mom being behind the camera and all. But no.

Apollo: Well, why the hell not?

Noémie: Ummm, well, I've just never put much thought into it. I mean, I've been told by plenty I'm quite beautiful for a man and all that but, being complimented for my looks by strangers at the bus stop, or distant family members is a completely different thing compared to being so aesthic, I could be on the cover of a magazine. *laughing shyly*

Plus, it takes more than looks to be a model ya know? You gotta have the walk, the attitude, and just...I don't know, be perfect. And a societal type of perfect. And that's a lot to uphold.

Apollo:...I get it. But, is it so hard to believe that you could be all those thing?

Noémie:*Shaking my head no childishly* No, it's not hard to believe I could...I just don't want to *I laugh unexpectedly. Feeling the cheap champagne finally settle into my bones*

Apollo: Ah, I see. What about being more a part of the artistic side of modeling?

Noémie: What do you mean?  *I whisper slightly frowing*

Apollo: *Looking down with a slight smug grin*

Nothing, nevermind. You're not interested anyway.

Noémie: *Now this man has peaked my interest, yes but- I suddenly remember I have a possibly horny, and buzzed-teetering on the edge of drunk, girlfriend to attend to that has yet to recieve her glass of water*

Uh, it was nice meeting you Apollo. *Raising my left hand to shake theirs*

Apollo: Oh, do you have somewhere to be?

Noémie: My girlfriend wanted this glass of water ages ago *chuckling lightly* She's most likely laying somewhere dozed off, or irritated with me at this point.

Apollo: Mmh? *humming curiously while looking down at my hand*

Noémie: * I begin to fill awkward and stiff that he hasn't taken my hand yet so I slowly begin to lower it. I dont want to be one of those people who feel entitledto such politeness but such behavior is odd*

Apollo: *Quickly grabbing Noémie's retreating hand with the same swiftness as befoe*

Likewise pretty boy. *He exhales fondly* I should conclude this fascinating entry of a new year with a smoke. BUT FIRST, to piss off your mother with my mere presence even more, I go. *As he raises his right index finger with gest*

Noémie: * I look at him amuseingly. This man ceases to fucking amaze me. Throwing up a personal little secret I usually keep with myself, in my face AS WELL as admitting the distress he is bound to cause to my mother, yet I'm not offended, not one bit. And for some reason, his ability to carefully unbind the knots that were sitting on my shoulders just minutes, with first draft conversation, is a phenomenon I have no patience to decipher. And the amount of times I've been called gorgeous, followed by the unwilling detailed hearings of sexual fantasies, is nauseating. But why does being called pretty sound so original coming from him?

Without even realizing it, make my way back to Bellamy, who has shifted over onto the couch by the living rooms bay window. She's annoyed, I can tell. From an outside view, she looks content, at peace, and in love as she leans against my chest with her legs over mine, and her dolly like face becoming acquainted with my neck. Nevertheless, I've know Bellamy for our little forever enough to know that one of her ways of showing subtle frustration, is not looking me in my eyes, and short but sweet responses. Usually, I would cave as soon as I catch on, but as the party goes on and the people become ombre, my mind is occupied with other unamed matters.*

Bellamy:  What are you thinking about * She whispers along Noémies jaw*

Noémie: *My lips go to form the word "nothing", but I catch myself before I can audibly say it. It would only annoy her even more*

You *I utter, while turning my head to the left with a sensual kiss on her forehead, as my hand gently grabs the base of her neck. For some reason Bellamy likes when I assert a stereotypical form of dominance over her. I never liked it, nor disliked it, and have displayed such behavior so often that it's like breathing.*

Bellamy: *Finally gazing into Noémies eyes with forgiveness and adoration* I'm always thinking about you Azure. *She admits while smiling innocently*

Noémie: Good, were properly in love *I look at her seriously with an empty passion she does not recognize*

*I had never lied to Bellamy before until then. Hell, I wasn't thinking about her at all. No, I was repeating a familiar mantra I'd heard not long ago*

"Pretty boy",

"Pretty boy",

"Pretty boy."

Do not plagiarize!!😡😡😡

I hope you all like this entry to the story!

Thank You!!!

"I liked the way she walked, and the sound of her kitten heels against the the VCT flooring. Her perfume would linger whenever she left, and the glitter against her skin reminded me of the edges of the milkyway. I liked the way her hair would graze against her bottom, and she never straightened it. Curls so loose, they'd slipped right through your fingers, reminding you of those times you threaded your fingers in strange waters. Her face, my goodness her face could make non-believers- believe because the only word for such beauty was godly. The sound of her voice was the feeling of pouring warm caramel into your ears. Disorienting any thought, and simply leaving you with the only option of zeroing in on her conversation. Her conclusive insight was always worth her entry ramble. But what I really liked, was her feminity in its entirety. Now, she wasn't a "girly,girl" or however you'd like to call it, she was just a girl. And that was enough. Sitting or standing, walking or running in her divine glory. A developing young woman, training for her lifelong, worldly battles.

Sometimes I liked to look through her and see the inequalities that comes with being who she was. Take a walk through the museum of unnecessary objectification. Read through that large book of double standards, body standards, heteronormative gender roles, and unrealistic expectations. I liked to compare her pay stubs to mine just to get a glance at our difference in wages. Id watch that faceless and nameless man on tv, grab ahold of her body, taking it apart, putting it back together, taking it apart putting it back together. All because he refused to see her as an individual. A being with feelings and valid distaste for being taken apart, and put back together, violated, and closely examined by someone that wasnt herself. You see, i couldnt relate to her one bit and I wanted too. I so badly wanted too- that every now and then, I'd imagine myself as her. Same thoughts, same heart beat, same dreams and cloudy memories. Same minuscule routine she has of putting her slippers behind her door, or kissing the tips of her fingers and placing them on her heart, making sure to leave a little kindness for herself. And I could do all of this. I didn't have trouble in deciphering Bellamy, because she is mine, and she believes I'm hers. Solely, entirely, no qualms, I am hers- and don't get me wrong, I'm elated she does. However, I've reached a crossroad because loving someone is nowhere near the same as...

as wanting to be them."

No Plagiarism/discrediting Allowed!!!😡

Forewarning, I'll update whenever I have time yall 😭😭

P.s. Song below that inspired this. Their music is amazing 🖤

"It Happened at the World's Fair"-1963

"You look lonely...I can fix that." (;

At this point, I don’t wanna fall in love…