Looool

Tumblr Code.

This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.

date of origin: 2nd of july, 2012.

Bro what it’s the second of July 2020. Happy 8th anniversary of this classic tumblr post!!!!

on god

Lucy Lawless was not a particularly burly woman, but somehow she made Xena seem like a fucking tank and I don’t understand how.

Don’t get me wrong—she was strong, and certainly not a waif, but more than almost any other female superhero actress I’ve ever seen, Lucy Lawless exuded physical power and weight that I actually believed (when she wasn’t somersaulting in front of a ridiculous greenscreen).

that’s a damn good point

INTENSE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

COSTUME EMPHASIZING BREADTH OF SHOULDERS

THEM THIGHS

WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS IS ABOUT HOLY SHIT

JAWLINE

EVERYTHING. ALL OF IT. I DON’T KNOW I’M JUST FEELING EXCEPTIONALLY WARM RIGHT NOW.

I LOVE HER

This is because the tank is not concerned with muscle or endurance. Tank is purely a matter of 60% attitude, 30% mindset, and 110% fuckaroundandfindout.

I've also seen another version of the commentary on this post speculating that she was also SHOT like male action star at the time - which has nothing to do with size, but with posture and staging and yes, attitude. 😊

Just to say, don't minimize the Lucy Lawless of it all. She's properly amazing.

Lucy and I met on a five minute bus ride in San Diego in 2017. She had no idea who I was, but we liked each other, and I met and liked her husband Rob. Lucy and I started following each other on Twitter. In March 2020 when my family got caught in New Zealand lockdown in NZ she reached out and offered us a place to live if we needed one. We didn't, but when Amanda would go to Auckland to record, she would stay with Lucy and her husband Rob.

When I came out of quarantine after returning to New Zealand in January 2021, Lucy picked me up, took me back to their place and she and Rob put me up for 24 hours while I adjusted to being around actual human talking people for the first time since April 2020 . The next morning she got me to the ferry, and sent me off to see my wife and son for the first time in 9 months.

She and Rob have become actual friends, and every time I meet them I enjoy who Lucy is -- funny, sensible, grounded -- and how she makes the people around her feel. She has presence, and enormous kindness, and you don't mess with her. She's one of the stars -- the people you are glad exist because they make the world better, not the silly Hollywood kind.

This teacher taught students the choreography from “Thriller.” I’ve watched this four times and I’m still smiling.

Christian Bale on Robert Pattinson playing Batman 

The kids on TikTok think that just because he was a classic country singer, Johnny Cash was conservative??? My babies he covered a Nine Inch Nails song in his seventies.

Classic country singers (the majority of which came from poor roots) were always talking about how much The Man sucked because they were taking money from poor rural folk. You’re gonna tell me that’s conservative?? Get outta here.

And somehow on the opposite side of the scale with the same exact opinion the conservative kids say “I like the old country music, because there’s no politics to it” Woodie Guthrie’s got a “this machine kills fascists” sticker on his guitar? You think there’s no politics in 9 to 5 or Folsom Prison Blues?!

Did... Did they bother to listen to his lyrics, or...?

So let’s talk about this for a second. The second bit about conservatives, anyway.

You know why they love Johnny Cash and the like? Because they agree with him. They do know the lyrics, they do understand the songs. There’s just a cognitive disconnect that the songs can apply to other people as well. They don’t like their dead end jobs, but who cares if someone else has a dead end job? That’s the other person’s problem. They don’t like the prison complexes for themselves, but who cares if someone else ends up in prison? That’s their problem. Etc. Etc.

There is honestly VERY little difference between actual conservatives and liberals in the general sense. The difference lies primarily in the ability to want those things for just themselves vs. wanting it for everyone. I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve sat down with my very republican family and had discussions about housing or gay rights or climate change and had them 100% agreeing with me until I tripped up and used a word/term that resulted in them having an “oh no that’s evilll!!!1!” reaction. Words like “climate change,” or “guaranteed housing.”

Conservatives have been riled up into a group that basically has a pavlovian response to about ten terms and the second you say one of those terms it all goes downhill. And their leadership knows that, and is more than happy to use those ten terms to keep their base from turning away from them.

Obviously there are conservatives that ARE just straight up assholes, that’s a given, but there’s way more that are just trundling along doing what they’ve always done. We have to acknowledge that and work with it or we’re not going to be able to make any progress.

The Backstreet Boys performing I Want It That Way together from each of their homes is exactly what I needed today.

OMGGGGGGG

I love this

Cant believe they fit 3 acts into one minuteq

Chile...

Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) dir. John McTiernan Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) dir. Joe Anthony Russo

DIE HARD 2 (1990) dir. Renny Harlin

I don't think that corgi's will replace greyhounds on the race track anytime soon

“Fucking Pig.”

“I’m a stripper not a cop.”

“Oh god I’m so sorry, thank you for your contribution to the community, sir.”

Fred Hampton was assassinated by the US government 52 years ago today

My brother has told me so much about you. I feel as if we are friends already. Pride & Prejudice (2005) dir. Joe Wright

If an alien race were the same size as these octopi, the females would be 6.6ft (2m) in height, and their males would only be 2.4cm tall.

Imagine seeing what you think is your alien comrade sitting alone with dinner, only to see a tiny figure dart across the table like a bug. It scurries up her arm and seems to plant a little kiss on her cheek. 

Surprise, she’s having dinner with her husband!

Why is that dinner bit so cute gosh

This could be us but you decided not to be 457 feet tall 😒

Ghibli knew what was up

just because i needed an approximate visual scale on this

Wife: *sneezes*

Husband: *catapulted through the nearest window with a soft “ping” sound*

Wife: Oh. Oh shit! Ok. Nobody move, please! I’ve lost my husband! Can someone check the ground please, make sure he hasn’t fall into your pocket or something. He has to be around somewhere.

‘Nobody move, I’ve lost both a contact lens, and a husband.’

the turkey swiss on rye incident

aha, the full post. get back on my blog.

this is like a book

The best part of this is that Tina from HR could’ve sent that last one as a private email. She didn’t have to call him out in public like that. But she did. Because he deserved it.

I wanna know if he got fired 

The small text that reads like someone ashamed is just *chefs kiss*

he was in the fridge!!!

ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but…. the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha

the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there… idk if I’d ever recover

@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food

Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time…

mutuals put me in your fridge

Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate’s house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said “Oh, there’s more in the basement fridge.”

So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It’s not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it’s apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.

“Hey Andrew.” I say, nonchalantly. “So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?”

“The what?” says the other member of the group project. I don’t remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.

“Oh! No, that’s Andrew Too.” he says. “His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays.”

“You named your tortise after you?” I ask.

“No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him ‘Andrew Too’. …Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He’s pretty cool when he’s awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn’t bark.”

“Oh!” Said Butterflies. “My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?”

“Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We’re going to make him a carrot cake!”

“is that for soup?”

“No, that’s my uncle”