this blog is not a well-curated museum. it's my bedroom & i'm putting things on my shelf & taping things on the wall

listen I ended up regretting saying anything about this on my old blog because people will interpret literally any and every statement maliciously on this hellsite but I want to start like. a helpline for people who are like “hey I pretty much only read YA but I’m like 22 now and don’t relate to teenagers as much, it’s such a shame that there are no fun books written for adults :(” because boy HOWDY are there some fun books for adults 

maybe I’ll start a big google doc or something one day but for now *deep breath*

Books I haven’t read but I’ve heard good things about

Babe, you okay? you reblogged “and we were nice to each other” like 12 times again

by june bates

[ID copied from alt: a page of a poem, reading: bless divorce. bless abortion. bless community. bless birth control. bless queer joy. bless hrt. bless anything that can make a woman more free. /end ID]

HEY HEY LISTEN THE VOICE OF THE MTA TRANSIT SYSTEM, ALL THE ANNOUNCEMENTS ON THE NYC SUBWAY LINE??

SHE'S A TRANS WOMAN AND TRANSITIONED AT 66!!!!!! THE BACKGROUND HUM OF MY CHILDHOOD, AND SHE'S LIKE ME!!!! WHAT THE FUCK

I'm glad I decided to watch this one instead of just thinking I'd already posted it.

Reblog to give a trans woman a delicious Cuban sandwich

I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly

I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:

Books I personally recommend:

- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.

- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”

- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.

- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.

- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.

- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.

Books I can kind of recommend:

- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”

- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.

- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.

Hope some of these are helpful for people ^-^ for the average person reading this I recommend New Bottoming/Topping, but they’re all important parts of my library and I’ve recommended all of them to friends at some point or another.

May I also suggest Hell on Wheels and Kneeling in Spirit by Raven Kaldera, d/s companion books that address kink with a disability. They're a should read for everyone, imo. You never know when you or a partner are going to have changes in your body that affect what you can physically do. Temporary illness/injury and even just age can affect your sex life.

I'd like to suggest Better Bondage for Every Body! It goes really in depth on anatomy, pain processing, self-tying, and has chapters specifically focusing on how to do rope bondage on/for someone who is disabled or has chronic pain, which was really important to me.

You know. Some people could really stand to get more comfortable with the idea of “you shouldn’t say that because it’s mean”. Especially with really common body shaming and straight up bullying lines.

“You shouldn’t make ugly bald jokes because what if a transman on T sees it!”

“You shouldn’t make virgin jokes because what if someone who’s asexual sees it!”

How about you just don’t make them because they’re mean. How about people can be balding or a virgin for a number of reasons and also don’t deserve to be routinely made fun of. How about saying that the reason you shouldn’t make x joke because it spares x specific identity’s feelings also let’s them know that you actually have no problem saying or thinking bald people are ugly or virgins are stupid or etc but you’re just not saying it in front of them. How about you understand this kind of body shaming and bullying especially in a very public setting online are always going to have way more unintended damage to people who did nothing wrong than damage to the person you’re upset with.

Sometimes the best reason to not make a bad joke like that is because it’s fucking mean.

Keira Knightley 20 January 2018

Does anyone else remember the story about that poor lesbian who came out to her mother and her mother cried and said “it’s all that damn Keira Knightley’s fault, I knew I shouldn’t have let you watch pride and prejudice as a child” because I’m really feeling that now

Yes

Bonus

I’m screaming

listen i respect y’all’s elizabeth bennets and elizabeth swanns and especially y’alls bend it like beckham babygays realizations but

DID Y’ALL MISS DOMINO (2005) ????

LOOK AT THIS FRESH DISASTER. THIS ABSOLUTE DREAM OF A MESS

DID Y”ALL MISS THIS

AND THIS

AND LOOK AT THIS GAY ANNOYANCE???

oh and at the end lucy liu shows up and interrogates her and it is v intense and lesbionic

in conclusion i had this haircut for 7 years and still want to kiss keira knightley

I can’t believe this Princess of Thieves erasure

she cuts off her own hair and dresses like a boy to protect the crown prince

also she’s amazing at archery. legolas whomst?

I recorded this on VHS commercials and all and watched it pretty much until the tape wore out. Totally in a heterosexual way though.

When I was 12, a drunk adult man shouted “You’re the hottest girl I’ve ever seen!” at me.

My reaction was to turn around and shout back, “Then OBVIOUSLY you’ve never seen Kiera Knightley!” and in retrospect I should have realized some things sooner than I did.

I know at this point this is basically a highlights reel of Keira Knightley’s whole filmography, but I present for your sword & sandals consideration, Keira as Celtic Guinevere in “King Arthur” (2004):

This post gets better every time I see it 

STOP, IM ALREADY GAY!

i think it shld be more widespread for ppl to read aloud to each other as a means of spending time together. like even just a bunch of adults sitting together reading wikipedia articles or something

The bestest friends

legitimately crying over pictures of baby andean spectacled bears

Look At Him

There's something so deeply calming about watching megafauna prance and gambol about like they're little lambs

This video has permanently changed my vocabulary so I need you all to see it

Why is it being read in the voice of a guy who will hurriedly warn me about side effects at the end of a medication ad?

My inner spellchecker crashed and had to reboot.

oh…

chinese mantou (steamd bread) be like

the oranges holy shit

oh fuck internalized too much lotr as a kid, actually believe there’s good in the world or some kinda shit

oh fuck internalised too much discworld as a kid, actually believe there’s good in people and that i have a duty to contribute towards increasing the amount of good in the world

me when tracy 😦

Wondering who edited this and then remembered that there's a decent chance it was Andrew Hussie