me 364 days of the year: my desire for material possessions is a bottomless pit i want anything and everything
friend: hey, what do you want for your birthday?
me:
me:
me: fuck

bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart

how the fuck do you cheat at jenga

ask a lesbian

this is never not funny