my hyperfixation on this girl is back

V: Uh, anyone there? Hello…?

it’s johnny time. cybershit round #3

I know that it is wrong to think these thoughts. I’m an old man and she is a young, beautiful woman— but I will never not treasure every smile she offers, tucking it in my heart, where it will always be safe.

When she notice me she smiles, a warm smile that makes my heart beat faster. Walking up to me her eyes locking with mine she says “It’s good to see you again Goro” lowering my gaze ashamed of my previous thoughts I say “It’s good to see you too V”

You know what? That one line from that Phantom Liberty ending where V can call Johnny a "big ol' softie"? They're right. They're absolutely right.

Johnny is a softie. He goofs off on multiple occasions in V's field of view despite knowing that nobody can see him, probably to his own and V's amusement. He screams on the rollercoaster and grins like crazy at V. He adores Nibbles. He wanted to check on Kerry when he heard that he was suicidal. He finally took Rogue on that car cinema date and can flirt with her in a goofy way straight out of his favorite "Bushido" movies. He has fun on the reunion concert and gives Kerry his DeLuze Orphean as a goodbye gift. He narrates that one quest like a noir narrator just to mess with V. He understands Barry's grief over his tortoise. He's respectful when watching Joshua's crucifiction. He's nice to Spider Murphy and calls her "Spider". He sheepishly apologizes to Alt in "The Sun" ending. He puffs up his chest when Denny says she misses him. He's fuming over the kids in "Talent Academy" being treated like products, probably because it reminds him of how he was treated in the military. He feels for Solomon Reed because he sees himself in him. He feels for Songbird because her circumstances remind him of V's.

And speaking of, he really loves V. He just loves them so much; He's always on watch for any danger and does his best to give them advice. He promises that he will do everything he can to cure them. He will encourage them to take a break if they're feeling sick. He will attempt the most dangerous stunts to get them to Mikoshi. He promises V to let them wipe him from the Relic and he keeps that promise. He will realize that they're his only loved one left and will ask for the last chance, and when he gets it he does everything he can to make them proud and happy. He accepts their decision no matter what it is, because it's their body and life. His worst fear is getting to live again, but without his friend/partner/soulmate/beloved (depending on interpretation) with him. He's proud to be able to call himself V's friend. He's proud of them. He's sad that he won't be able to see how V will change. He choses to stay calm and positive before he will be innevitably killed so that his beloved V will live to keep them calm and comfort them.

That whole hardass, asshole act? It's a ruse, it's a front, it's a persona he had to put on due to bad childhood, PTSD from being drafted as a teenager, seeing other teenagers die horribly around him, losing his limb and being branded with the Arasaka logo he did his best to scratch out and being tossed into a rockstar life of drinking, drugs and fans when he was likely not much older.

He might fight it, but he will never be the detached, emotionless action hero he wants to be, because that's not at all who he is! I think that his slight grin when V says it is one of relief, that he was able to show his most vulnerable, tender and gentle side to the one person he holds dear and not be punished for it, playfully teased but with clear sympathy on V's part. After decades of struggle with who he is being so different from who he wants to be, he can finally be seen for who he is, and who he would be if his life went oh so differently.

and love them too.

Let's motor!

Freezing my ass off working at outdoor shopping in minus 5°C got me thinking about how Johnny would one hundred percent pissed, peeved and disgruntled if V ever got in a situation where they're cold and there's no way to warm up. Maybe they're stuck in the desert at night and their car is out of choo so they can't turn on the heating. Maybe it's pouring autumn rain and they just happen to have forgotten their jacket (maybe even Johnny's jacket?) at home. Maybe they were forced to take a dip in the bay and are now wet and shivering. Whatever the reason, he'd be so pissed there's nothing he can do to help. No jacket to take off his back and give to V, no ability to sit shoulder-to-shoulder sharing body heat or even to run off quickly and get a cup of hot coffee for them. He's just forced to sit there, endure their numb fingers, blue lips and shivering insides. All he can do is call them stupid for forgetting to check the weather, grab a jacket or something. Deep down, of course, he's worried sick. He knows they'll end up with a sore throat and a runny nose tomorrow. Maybe even a fever. And they can't afford this shit right now! Another sickness is not what their dying body needs! So he grumbles, whines and bitches throughout the ordeal. Then asks them - not tells them, but he gently asks - to please go see Vik and take a minute to warm up and relax. Not because he's also forced to endure the physical pain discomfort of cold, but because Johnny might be the person to worry most about V - genuinely, feverishly, like he never worried even about himself.

Some texts that remind me of cyberpunk characters

Cooked up a new meme

on silverv and the temperance ending.

Johnny Silverhand was a parasite. But, he was your parasite, and as much as you wanted to hate his constant presence, it comforted you in a way. 

I love Panam and I think she’s a really great friend who won’t make you bored 😝😝

I actually don’t want what they have bc ik that if I did I’d probably be screaming and crying 24/7

aughhh they make me ill

The Sun

my roman empire

silverv makes for such a tragic love story im surprised it didn't blow up with the gays. like can you imagine, can you imagine coming back from the dead after 50 years to find yourself stuck in the body of somebody who is dying because of you. you're trying to help them figure out how to get rid of you before it's too late and along that path you get to know each other so intimately from sharing memories and a body. and it's not really your fault but you are an intruder here, you are a parasite actively killing them but they're nice to you and care about you anyway. and you care about them. but you know that inevitably you will either take over their body or be removed. you can't both be alive at the same time for long. can you imagine realizing that you're falling in love with them