if theres anyone who can see this after 5 years that would be insaaane
Doctor: Now, do you have any exercise plans?
Me: Yes, but I can't start yet.
Doctor: Why not?
Me: Because Pokémon Go doesn't come out till next year.
Boy: “Hey, babe. You ready for…….wait what is that?”
-Boy checks phone-
Boy: “Omg”
Girl: “What? What is it?”
Boy: “There’s something in the house.”
Girl: “What? I don’t understand.”
-Boy goes to bedroom door. Looks back at girl-
Boy: “Stay here.”
Girl: “Omg. Please don’t leave.”
Boy: “Shh shhh shhhh shut the fuck up. It’s right down stairs.”
-Girl starts shaking-
Girl: “Omg. You’re scaring me. What is it?”
-Boy leaves room. Foot steps down the stairs-
-long silence-
……
…….
……..
Girl: “Omg. Babe?”
-Loud fast footsteps up the stairs. Girl cries and pull the sheets over her head as the bedroom door bursts in. She hears heavy breathing-
Boy: -out of breath- “Babe.”
-Girl looks out from under the blanket confused-
-Boy shows her the phone in excitement-
Boy: “I just caught a Haunter!”
My pitch for a Pokemon Go advertisement. I think it would make a good one around Halloween.
You've heard of Pokémon Go, now get ready for
Digimon stop
*Interrupts a production of Hamlet*
Me: Hamlet that's not your dads ghost. It's a Gengar.
Hamlet: holy shit.
Me in the future
Me: PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR
Me: YOU BOTH ARE UNDER ARREST. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT --
Criminal, takes out Pokemon Go: Prepare for trouble...
Me: .....
Me: No. NO WHAT ARE U DOING.
Criminal 2, takes out Pokemon Go: Make it double...
Me: DONT DO THIS TO ME
Me: FUCK THIS SHIT
Me, takes out Pokemon Go: FIGHT ME RN.
breaks into a mosque: its not here?
breaks into a synagogue: its not here...
breaks into a church: its not here!
local news: and when the vandal was finally arrested, she claimed that she was looking for an Arceus
Pokemon GO is a great motivator, ya know?
Reporter: This young woman just climbed Mount Everest in record time! What an inspiration! Can you tell us what exactly was your motivation?
Woman: I needed to catch Articuno.
Reporter: ... You... What?
Remember when your dog barks at nothing or your cat stares into thin air for a moment before running away in panic? Ever wondered what they were looking at?
Now you know.
me: *breaks into Jurassic World*
chris pratt: "excuse me but what the fuck are you doing here?"
me: "dude there's a fuckton of Tyrunt and Tyrantrum around here, help me out!"
chris pratt: *taking his phone out*
chris pratt: "you'll have to fight me for them you little shit"
me in 2016
*walks into power plant in t-shirt and shorts*
some employee: ‘Sir you’re not allowed to be in here, this is a restricted area.”
me: Yo it’s okay I think there’s a voltorb in here