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Mirth & No Matter

@hjea / hjea.tumblr.com

mirth & no matter

I’m sad I’ve never come across a Voyager parody that pokes fun of the things that are actually funny about Voyager like Harry trying to turn every day into an after school special about the importance of family, Tom trying to be the bad boy of the ship while also being the mom friend (“Let’s go see what this town has to offer! Harry, B’Elanna, check your seats to make sure you didn’t leave anything behind.”/“Ah man, forgot my water bottle”/“no problem Harry I brought extra juice boxes”/“Thanks, mom. I mean Tom. I said Tom. Everyone heard me say Tom”), Tuvok constantly acquiring groupies he doesn’t want and has no idea what to do with, the show’s absolute insistence that Janeway and Chakotay are just friends, they’re only friends, they aren’t jealous of each other’s partners they’re friends. God, can’t men and women stand next to each other?? Meanwhile Kate Mulgrew and Robert Beltran are delivering every line to each other like their characters are repeating their wedding vows. Other stuff like Janeway’s bravery bordering on just being suicidal tendencies and how anytime she’s off the ship the kids start bickering and Chakotay’s all ‘you wouldn’t act this way for your mother!’ And like Janeway simultaneously being the sexiest motherfucker on board while giving 70% of the crew mommy issues.

Voyager is good actually. Why are we losing the meme war to Deep Space Nine. Yeah okay they have lizards but so do we but we also have a middle aged woman who wasn’t suppose to be sexy but is also one of the top three sexiest characters in trek.

No but really

Neelix: Uh, I don’t know where you got the idea that the Captain and Commander were married, Mr. Alien Ambassador. In our culture men and women can just be friends without being romantically involved. Their friendship is pretty typical, I’d say

Meanwhile, literally three feet away;

Janeway: Oh, Chakotay, thank you for coffee this morning, I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Chakotay: it’s no problem Kathryn, you aren’t alone in this. I will always be here. To get you coffee

Janeway (teary-eyed): (puts her hand over his heart)

Alien Ambassador: is anyone else seeing this shit? Am I having a stroke? I’m going to go supplicate myself before my new god, Commander Tuvok, perhaps he will have some answers

Like two branches in a river Flowing downstream Caught in the current I’ll carry you, You’ll carry me That’s how it could be

Before Sunrise 1995 dir. Richard Linklater