REAL QUEERS STAND UNITED / REAL QUEERS DON'T TALK TO THE COPS / MORE FATS, MORE FEMS / T4T, WE ALL FIT UNDER THE QUEER UMBRELLA
get a sticker here! i'd really appreciate it bcus i'm trying to grind to afford my big gay wedding this october. commissions will be open by the end of the week so keep an eye out for that.
I wanna do something nice.. say something you appreciate about the person you reblogged this from!! even if it's smth as small as their profile photo :)
was talking with gwen yesterday and she was like “yeah leonard nimoy’s cool. it’s cool that he’s gay” and i was like “he’s not gay. i also thought he was gay but he was just nice. you’re thinking of patrick stewart” and she was like “he’s not gay you’re thinking of stanley tucci” and i, thinking of steve busciemi, said “FROM SPY KIDS?” anyway just checked and none of these people are gay apparently. thanks for reading
posts that make people say “stanley tucci IS gay, lol” and then google it and reblog again with “oh, huh. nvm”
Everyone here is thinking of Ian McKellen
I feel like we always see parents who are 100% super supportive allies, or parents who are horrible and cruel. At least in media or in the most popular stories. But I feel like that ignores just how many people have parents where you just have no idea? And even if you think they’ll accept you on a surface level, you don’t know if they have a breaking point. Especially if you need to go on hrt, or request they change the way they think about and refer to you. Sure they’re liberal and all, or centrists, or “tolerant”, but how far does that stretch?
I think most closeted LGBT+ kids live like this, wading around in the grey area. I’d like it of more of us knew that was normal, I’d like if we talked about it more.
We really, really don’t acknowledge the banal, disappointing reactions, and what those can do. When my husband came out to my MIL, her reaction was “Can I take some time to think about this?” and then she never, ever spoke about it again.
My MIL is not an awful person. She’s a loving mother who carries emotional scars from having been in an abusive relationship with her minister husband for a long time, which has left her with a disabling preoccupation with “What might the neighbours say” in her life, and that often means she makes poor choices without realising it. She loves my husband no less; she didn’t withdraw love and affection from him, didn’t cut him off.
But she chose to pretend it wasn’t happening, and that sent him into a hefty shame spiral we had to work through. A few months later, a stand up routine he did about being bisexual was doing the rounds on Facebook, and despite normally sharing every single routine of his, she rang him to tell him she wouldn’t be sharing that one because “Your brother’s wedding is coming up, and I don’t want it overshadowed by people talking about you and your news.”
And again, this is not because she rejects him. That’s an easy narrative, and certainly the one you’d assume from the outside. But that, in her own way, was her attempt to protect both her children from negative scrutiny - she truly thought that people would care, and would care enough to make a scene at the wedding, and that would hurt the two of them.
Everyone already knew. He’s a celebrity in his culture. No one cared. But, that was my MIL’s fear.
And the message it sent, intentionally or not, was “This is something shameful.”
She’s come to terms with it now. But she totally missed her “I love and support you no matter who you are” chance, and left him with a lingering issue. And that’s the sort of story we never see in queer media.
WOW.
I could write a whole essay, a whole book about this experience in my family, but I won’t. It feels ungrateful to criticize the actions of people who still say they love you, and have never hurt you and will never hurt you in the big dramatic ways we see in the media. But in my case, and I think in many, it isn’t a clean, decisive cut.
It’s a love that feels lesser. An acceptance with strings attached. And that hurts in a quieter way, but it still leaves marks.
While I was studying the blade my James Cameron post was getting wildly popular I guess
Hi new followers
If you’re a TERF you can gtfo
HOLD UP HOW WAS I NOT AWARE OF THIS
was gonna leave my comment in the tags but tbh i’m silent enough about this as it is.
seeing stuff like this is so upsetting because these terms were well known and widespread in the ace community but because of exclusionists many people stopped using terms like this because they felt uncomfortable and unsafe.
i loved these terms when i was in highschool, i loved the feeling of community, but i lost that because i didn’t feel comfortable openly and proudly calling myself asexual.
they’ve hurt so many people and damaged our community badly and i will never forgive them for that. we deserve to use our own terminology and feel safe within our community.
sometimes i notice i haven’t seen “grace” (grey-ace) in a while and consequently wonder if i made it up.
I remember ppl - even other ace ppl - saying the card suit thing was “cringey” and “straight ppl aren’t gonna take us seriously” (sounds familiar?) So i guess the community wound up abandoning it. We were also having severe issues at the time with aces being stereotyped as “childish/immature” for associating things like cake, dragons, and space with asexuality, plus in general as most aces just don’t “get” allosexual things in media and irl. We were starting to be viewed as ignorant, virginal, childish, losers, etc. I haven’t seen an ace-cake thing in a good while now.
This was the infancy of exclusionary influence on us. I didn’t realize it did more damage than just closeting us. Whole symbols and terms have been lost. Community has been lost.
I remember three-four years ago I got myself into the ace community on Insta, and I came across these terms. People in these circles would talk about cake, space, dragons, and the black ring on the middle finger. Then, a year or two later, ace content fizzled out (I thought it was Insta’s algorithm figuring out that I knew all this and didn’t bring me the old stuff) and young aces had no idea what any of these were - including the black ring. Finding out young aces had no idea what the black ring meant nearly snapped my heart in two - I proudly wore the black ring, I drew characters with it, and it was my quiet way of communicating to others what my sexuality was. I was baffled at the lack of knowledge - and it turns out that exclusionists got their hands into our community and snuffed us out.
Anyways, we need to bring this back. I thought the card suite thing was cool, it taught people the different ways people can experience attraction, I loved making jokes about preferring cake, I loved wearing the black ring and talking about it with my fellow queer people at my highschool QSA club.
I’m sorry, people don’t know about the cake or ring anymore? I remember being welcomed with spams of cake gifs, photos, and MS Paint drawings. I also distinctly remember that the block solo ring in the midle was meant as reference to the Ace of Spades (black, solo, middle of card). Only thing I didn’t know was that other aces could represent a more refined nuance. Let’s see if we can get this all rolling again.
Welcome to anyone who is interested in helping with the culture revival.
This is the exact reason I started my #ace positive and #aro positive tags. I remember learning about asexuality and thinking it was cool, but not for me (yet). I remember ace visibility day where people would post selfies with an ace card to signify their orientation like in the original post. I remember going through the tag and following every ace blog I could find, turning notifications on and scrolling through their blogs endlessly to learn more about it. I haven’t gotten a notification for any of those blogs in ages.
Going through all those blogs and seeing validation, learning more things about my newfound orientation was so incredibly as a questioning and unsure 15 year old. It’s devastating to me that this community has fallen quiet so much. So I started my tags, hoping to spread some more positivity and maybe inform people. This community is full of incredible people and the fact that so little of them remain, it heartbreaking.
Check out my tags if you ever need to. Maybe I’ll add more tags to my list to do whatever I can in support
I remember seeing the start of ace exclusionary rhetoric only a few years ago… I can’t believe so much of the ace culture got lost to it so quickly.
Please, if you want to start exploring an identity for yourself (especially one exclusionists will try to tell you doesn’t “belong”), consider finding and talking to older people who’ve been in the community for a while - preferably IRL if that’s safe, or on dedicated community forums.
Diversify your research and look outside of socmed, which can be a hive of exclusionist rhetoric and flat out misinformation. Ask around about old publications or websites (the ace community has been developed and discussed in queer spaces for pretty much as long as those spaces have existed)! Check out the sources in wikis! Do your best to learn the history - because there is history. Share what you learn with your peers! Every queer identity has an older and richer culture than the exclus want you to think, and you all deserve to be a part of it.
friendly reminder that this blog is a safe space for aspec people! unfriendly reminder that if you’re an exclusionist, Fuck You!
I should start using the ace of diamonds symbol.
[image transcript: Ace is a popular nickname for a person who is asexual. It is a phonetic shortening of “asexual”, and has lead to some symbolism regarding the playing card “ace”. Some asexuals use the ace of spades or ace of hearts to represent their orientation. The ace of hearts is more commonly used for romantic asexuals, whereas an aromantic asexual would generally use the spade.
{red heart emoji} Ace of hearts - romantic asexuals
{black spade emoji} Ace of spades - aromantic asexuals
{red diamond emoji} Ace of diamonds - demisexuals and demiromantic aseuxals
{black club emoji} Ace of clubs grayasexual and grayromantic asexuals
/End transcription.]
I started wearing a white ring recently! It feels nice to partake in aro culture, as obscure as it is.
It’s actually so much worse
Naomi Shihab Nye, “Sifter.” A Maze Me: Poems for Girls
Yang Liu practising her 獨竹漂 (du2zhu2piao1; single bamboo drifting) skills. As it is a dying skill, she aims to promote it to the whole world so that it will not be forgotten.
(See my other post here for a bit more info on what bamboo drifting is)
[eng by me]
op turned off reblogs but i want this post on my blog
I know basically nothing about tarot cards but I absolutely need to make this a reality
I love these two so much.
Credit: @jellymlk on twitter
It has come to my attention that some of you have not actually seen the music video for Ghengis Khan by Miike Snow so I've taken it on myself to end your ignorance of this piece of cinema
The greatest cinematic experience of 2016, weren't you watching?
Happy Pride! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
they were playing running up the hill yesterday at the bar and I realized that when kate bush says she is "running up that building" she is probably using the stairs. and not running up the side of the building. like naruto
incorrect. look at her go.
[Image description: a photo of an apartment building with Kate Bush edited onto it as if she is running up the side. End image description.]
"Glimpsing at the seabed through the water and the complexity of the light within, at a soothing southern sea." By Shigeko Inoue (2002).
Born in 1945, Inoue studied traditional Japanese and Italian woodblock printing. Her work focuses on nature, transparency and the movement of water.
