as a kid i had one of those “there’s a monster under my bed” moments except real.

every night i would cry about a ghost or something trying to scare me by knocking on my bedroom windows and walls. like, really loudly, every hour or so, every night. only at night. so my dad was like “heh okay kiddo let’s check it out :) ah see? there’s nothing here :)” and left.

until years later he admitted to me that he did in fact hear the unexplainable knocking when he slept in that room one night, and it kept him awake with fear. and suddenly felt awful for not believing little kid me.

imagine your kid being like “daddy there’s a demon in my closet” and you being like ok son lemme just check that for you :). and you open the door and there’s a demon in the closet

WHAT

mann my stomach is starting to ache i hope its not because of the bomb i ate

no “carrd.” you learn things about me based on what you can piece together from the vague details of my life I disclose in rare moments of vulnerability

unfortunately, given its popularity and status as a cult classic, goncharov getting a souless corporate remake was bound to happen

feel like ppl are getting meaner and it's weird to see

how do you mean

bro forget this post for a second - i opened this app today at 9am and the first post i saw was you reblogging some horny shit about “sliding in and stretching her real good”. 9am on a wednesday. what was that all about?

I think i would start watching more movies and tv if they started putting normal looking people in there

I'm about to wii sports resort to violence

I'm about to have a wii fit

Marvel Voices Pride #1

This comic is literally so comforting.

my interpretation … mieaow …

playing beanie babies quietly by yourself in your room

[the most sinister music imaginable link yes this is the exact song i was playing when my mom found me doing this]

2000 was almost 14 years ago 2000 was almost 14 years ago 2000 was almost 14 years ago

hey op guess what

oh nevermind you’re died

so i just realized… in spiderverse, the whole “leap of faith” thing really takes a different meaning when you remember miles didn’t really have a problem taking a leap in the beginning of the movie. he had to psych himself up for it, but he did try. he heard mj’s speech and read some comics, and he jumped off that building to test his mettle. but he failed and crashed to the sidewalk, hard, ended up breaking the goober. that’s what causes him to lose faith in himself and makes him think he “can’t do this” without peter parker: he has tried, and he messed it up.

when you remember that, peter b telling him that being spider-man is “a leap of faith” isn’t a lesson about miles needing to find his courage in the first place, it becomes a lesson about finding the strength to try something again after you’ve failed it already. or in the movie’s words, it becomes a lesson about “getting back up.”

Okay, FUCKERS, it’s time to expose yourselves for the FILTHY SINNERS you are and put your favorite hetero ship in the tags!!

nothing funnier than saying "back in my day" in your 20s as if you aren't the toddler of adults

Ripley's just fuck off and get out of here

Ripley's I'm tired of explaining this shit to you

Ripley's you know what? Whatever.

imagine if instead of it being called a sip it was as called a suck. can I have a suck of water? 🤨

imagine an expanse of graves spanning miles and miles, too many miles for you to traverse

You think your fandom is niche, try being obsessed with your besties oc

For those worried about the crew having to do a whole job just for one person, flight staff only get paid for time they're in the air; if he'd cancelled, they wouldn't have gotten paid for zip.

So in other words, he gave them an easy day where they can spend most of it on break, and also airplane staff should unionize.

Also the plane likely has to get to NC somehow so you might as well have fun with it