• “so NO poc characters can die????”
• purposely misinterprets your argument
• “blackwashing exists too. if mj can be black then aang can be white”
• “why don’t they just make a NEW black superhero/princess/franchise?”
• “stop making fun of xyz writer; they’re probably a much better writer than you’ll ever be”
• alternatively “have you written a book? then you can’t have any opinion whatsoever”
• alternatively “if you want to see diverse characters then write your own story instead of complaining”
• “you should be grateful for the one side poc who died in the first episode”
• “imagine if i said the same thing about poc. that’s reverse racism”

• makes several posts expressing their dismay and sadness after being called out for racism
• assumes victim position whenever possible
• lowkey/highkey an anti-anti
• thinks and acts like they are oppressed by the existence of antis
• *approaching their mutual of color (or a blogger of color in their community) after writing/reblogging a problematic post* “hey just wondering, why did you block me?”
• makes fic/edits/headcanons/art that relies on racist stereotypes and characterization
• “i miss the days when you could just be racist write whatever fic/like whatever character/post whatever headcanons without people getting mad :/”
• “some people just don’t know how to have FUN!”
• “don’t you have anything better to do than run a HATE BLOG about this poor writer?”
• part of a network of white mutuals and followers who supportively affirm each other that they’re Not Racist
• refuses to acknowledge anything you say unless it’s written in standard white grammar and falsely cheery affect

• usually a white lady
• has some posts about intersectionality on their blog
• doesn’t support any movies/shows/books written by and for poc
• never reblogs bloggers of color
• alternatively, only reblogs bloggers of color who agree with their opinion (which 90% of the other poc in the fandom disagree with)
• goes hard in calling out misogyny, but “can excuse” the racism of the author
• alternatively, *about a problematic white female character* “you have to excuse the racism in her narrative. just because there’s racism in it doesn’t mean she’s not a feminist hero. it’s not her fault that the writers wrote it that way”
• generally expecting all fans to put the representation of white women before any other representation in terms of importance
• “why can’t this strong woc just be single?! she’s awesome without a man”
• selectively calls out racism in fandom/content when it makes their preferred character/blogger look better in comparison to the “more racist” character/blogger
• repeats what bloggers of color say but in a cheery tone and more watered down; gets heaps of praise from mutuals and followers for being a woke queen
• assumes position of authority on all social justice issues, especially concerning gender (and sexuality if they are lgbtq+)
• “the writer knows what they’re doing. i give them the benefit of the doubt because we don’t know how the story will turn out in the end”
• may or may not have written elaborate posts about racism and race theory
• definitely stans at least one extremely problematic white author and defends them and their “genius” to the death
• thinks that calling out white cis/het women for their racism/homophobia/transphobia is sexist

A Topic To Digest: Comphet in gay men & the neglect of men's feelings in general

• asking for help

• liking the color pink or "girly colors"

• being interested in fashion related topics

• "you're doing your nails? are you into metal or are you-"

• "He doesn't have a girlfiend yet, do you think he's-"

• "Why transition when you can be straight?"

• "You said she looks attractive, how come do you not want her?"

• Straight girls may use gay men as shopping buddies as taught by media

• You are valid.

• There is no such thing as "wrong" emotions

• You don't have to have macho syndrome and save the day just like the male heroes in comic books

• Who says you have to save a girl?

• There is no such thing as "proving your masculinity" It's in your genome and/or brain structure

• You are not any less of a man if you admit you are sad, lonely, scared, tired, in need of help

• You are never weak when it comes to expressing your emotions and whoever invalidates your emotions just because you're male is toxic.

• Occasionally doing things that are traditionally feminine in nature just means that you are open to different kinds of experiences and exploring the world around you is an exciting process

• Thinking you are attracted to men, but being able to stop liking them rather easily, like fipping a switch.
• “All my friends like these boys so I guess I do too.” // “I’m nervous around this guy so it must mean I like him!”
• Thinking you like men, but feeling unhappy when imagining about ever marrying, dating or having sex with them.
• Thinking you can’t be lesbian because you think you could survive dating men if you had to.
• Dating men to “prove a point”, either to yourself or to others.
• Thinking you have to be attracted to men or else you’ll be missing something or you won’t be “complete”.
• Running for the hills whenever a guy shows interest in you, even after you thought you liked him as well. Having a crush on men but only until there’s an actual chance you might be together.
• You seek validation from men but when they try to interact with you, you feel uncomfortable. Thinking you must be validated or desired by men or else you’re not a worth human being, even though it makes you feel bad.
• Feeling that you have to try extra hard to be attracted to men. Not caring about a breakup with men, or only caring because you can’t imagine not being with men and that scares you.
• CW: sex, abuse /// only having sex with men if there is an extreme power imbalance. Feeling troubled, nervous or disgusted after you had sex with men. You tease men for validation, but feel disgusted when thinking about actually having sex with them. Only sleeping with men for the relationship’s sake, not because you like it.
• Thinking that whatever you feel for women, is much more powerful than anything you’ve ever felt for men.
• Having extremely “high standards” for men. And whenever one actually achieves it, you just make it higher so there will be no man as good as “what you want.”
• Genuinely wishing you didn’t like men, genuinely wishing you didn’t have to be with men.
• “I’m not a lesbian because I’m also attracted to nonbinary people”— that is, in fact, what lesbian is.
• Wanting to call yourself lesbian and feeling much happier when you think about being lesbian, but feeling scared to do so for whatever reason.
• Constantly bringing up your past relationships with men, thinking it invalidates what you know you feel now and that it means you can’t be a lesbian.
• CW: abuse /// thinking you can’t be lesbian because you’ve been abused by men before and have trauma of men.
• Thinking you’re fine with being with men only romantically but not sexually, despite being comfortable doing both with women.

• “she has a lot of boy friends. uh oh, that’s a worry!”
• i found my old baby journal and my mum wrote that when i was barely a toddler. its not pleasant to think about but the root of my compulsory heterosexuality was my mother’s attitudes when i was younger. she would repeatedly insist that i had crushes on every boy i met when i was little. the most prominent time was when i was six and my best friend was a boy called sean. both of our mothers thought we had crushes on each other. i was six and he was just my friend. mum said she could tell because she ‘knew these things’, and because i believed her, i grew up thinking that what i was feeling (friendship with a boy) was romantic love. meanwhile, i idolised and adored my first grade teacher (who was a lot like miss honey mind you) and i kissed girls on self appointed dares. but because i was little and they werent boys, i didnt question it.
• “no dating til you’re 18!” “ok”
• i am my parents’ first child and only daughter, and though it wasn’t said in so many words, it was a given that i would not be allowed to have a boyfriend until my parents said so. and i was okay with that. i coasted through primary school without crushes on boys. most of my friends were getting their first boyfriends and i was confused. like, ‘why would they want to do that?’. while my friends noticed boys for the first time, i noticed girls’ breasts and stared at my friends when they were getting changed. but because i was young and they weren’t boys, i didnt question it.
• “they think you’re gay”
• i was about two weeks into high school when a few girls spread a nasty rumour that i was a lesbian. i lost 90% of the female friends i’d made, girls would move away when i sat next to them. although it wasn’t the first time others thought i was gay, it was the first time it got really awful. i cried a lot and told me mum as soon as i got in the car. without missing a beat, my mum said, ‘well you’re not gay, so there’s nothing to worry about’, which calmed me down quickly. i went home and rewatched my avril lavigne dvd for the third time that week. but because i was young and she wasnt a boy, i didnt question it.
• “eeny meeny miny moe”
• it seems to be a common thing that baby wlw chose boys to have crushes on, but i took it to an extreme. in an effort to convince people that i was straight, i got out the class pictures and played eeny meeny miny moe to choose which boy i liked and what my backup options were. the boy i chose i had a crush on for about 2 years. he was barely my friend, we’d spoken about three times, but i was In Love TM with him. i watched how my friends talked about their crushes so i tried to copy them. they were obsessed with their crushes, so i became obsessed with making sure i acted obsessed enough. meanwhile, i had sex dreams about girls, but because i was young and they weren’t boys, i didn’t question it.
• “you’re smiling, that means you like him!”
• my friends insisted that i had a crush on one my best friends. he was the aforementioned ‘backup’ from a few years earlier, and because he was nice and i liked spending time with him because he was my friend, i assumed that i did have a crush on him. about a year later my friends about this and manipulated me into asking him out, which i didnt want to do at all. even though i liked him, i didn’t want to date him. i wasn’t heartbroken or even sad really when he said no, if anything i was relieved that my crush was over. but i was also embarrassed and i avoided him for a long time out of shame. meanwhile that same year i recognised i had a crush on a girl in my art class so i panicked and dropped the class. i rationalised that it was a one time thing and it didnt count. i was young and she wasn’t a boy, so i didn’t question it.
• “i don’t get it”
• after panicking about having a crush on a girl, i went straight back into the compulsive behaviour of obsessively choosing crushes but i would only like boys that were boring and way below my standards so i wouldn’t ever date them anyway. it was a safe way to keep my Heterosexual Identity while avoiding actually needing to date boys. however i did have my first and only boyfriend when i was 15. he asked me out and other girls liked him a lot, so i said yes. the ‘relationship’ lasted two weeks. i didn’t want to touch him at all, i didn’t even want to hold his hand, and because i didn’t see the point, i broke up with him. it was at this time that i first recognised that how other girls felt about boys was very different to how i did. at lunch my friends would talk about how hot their boyfriends were or and share stories about their sex lives. i spent a lot of time listening with a disgusted and disturbed look on my face. i didn’t get it. upon realising that i never wanted to have sex with boys, i came to the conclusion that i was not like other girls and that i was better than them (which was an awful way to think). i then delved into fiction. i wrote from boys pov to gush about how pretty girls were, i became very emotionally invested in brittany and santana from glee, and created oc’s who were questioning. bonus gay points because i envisioned the characters as phoebe tonkin, who i ‘admired’ so much i made an ultra gay video about how hot she was. but because she wasn’t a boy, i didn’t question it.
• “oh shit??????”
• (tmi coming up dudes) so i graduated high school and i was finally free from that toxic environment. not long later i discovered masturbation (years after everyone else had because i never even thought of doing it), and although i really made an effort to fantasise about whatever male celebrity i had a crush on, i would daze out and just focus on the feelings. christmas 2012 i saw clara oswald / jenna coleman’s face and i was suddenly Really Interested in doctor who and i plowed through seven seasons in a few weeks just to get to her two episodes. i counted down how many episodes i had to get through to finally get to clara. “thirty episodes until clara! ten episodes until clara! next episode is clara!” sometime in the middle of all this i started entertaining the idea that i wasn’t straight. i tried to see if i could masturbate thinking about clara, and oh yes i could.
• “i am bi but with a really really really really really strong preference for women”
• (just a preface that this is my personal experience and that bisexuality is a real orientation) i like boys, i like girls. that means i’m bi, right? i was ready to embrace that i wasn’t straight and for me that meant having an identifier. i jumped the gun and said i was bi before i was sure of it, because that had to be what i was. i didn’t even consider that i could be a lesbian. i went through my first years of uni developing crushes on a lot of girls who i knew, but never on guys. as i discovered what it felt like to like girls, men paled in comparison and i realised that i only found like two men in the whole world attractive, and they were unobtainable celebrities. i envisioned my future and it was always with a woman. i would fantasise about women all the time, but never about men. it didn’t cross my mind to anymore. i thought i was bi with a really strong preference for women until the beginning of last year, when a man hit on me. i walked home absolutely certain that i was a lesbian, because i realised that i never ever wanted to interact with men in a sexual/romantic way. and i’ve identified as a lesbian ever since.

1. Condoms are only 98% effective when used correctly.
2. Sugar can cause infections in the vagina. This means things like chocolate sauce, honey, and lubricants with glycerin can be harmful.
3. Having sex with an intoxicated person is legally rape in most US states, even if the person verbally consents. In the eyes of the law, drugs and alcohol impair your ability to consent to sex.
4. Unprotected anal sex is the most dangerous sex act when it comes to spreading STIs.
5. Not everyone can climax from oral sex or even likes oral sex. Don’t assume—ask your partner what they want!
6. Condoms expire! Check the date on the wrapper. Also, storing them in wallets is not a good idea (see #8)
7. If someone with a vagina has unprotected anal sex, semen can drip down into the vagina and pose a (slight, but still real) risk for pregnancy.
8. Do not keep condoms in your wallet. The friction and heat exposure of keeping them there can make them ineffective. Keep them somewhere cool, dry, and out of sunlight.
9. You should be tested for STIs with each new partner you have. Annual appointments are not enough protection if you have multiple partners in that time.
10. Having anal sex does not lead to a gaping asshole unless your partner is literally an elephant.
11. Sex with elephants is illegal. Don’t do that.
12. Masturbating while wearing a condom can help people with penises get used to wearing them before sex.
13. Penis size does not define your worth. It is not the be-all, end-all factor for most people.
14. In fact, lots of people with large penises have trouble having sex without hurting their partner since the average vagina size is 6”-8” when aroused (it’s only 3”-4” when not aroused!).
15. Your first time will almost definitely not be your best time. That’s okay, I promise.
16. Herpes and pubic lice can still infect you if a condom is used if testicles come in contact with a vuvla.
17. Only one out of three people can orgasm from receiving vaginal penetration alone. You’re not broken.
18. People with penises can orgasm without ejaculating.
19. The muscles in a vagina can be abnormally tense and cause intense pain when penetrated with a toy, penis, or tampon. This is called vaginismus and treatment for this includes relaxation therapy and using medical rods to help the muscles relax.
20. The number of sexual partners you have does not define you. This rule applies to all genders.
21. A diet of lots of dairy and meat can cause ejaculate to taste bad. Fruits that are very sweet (like pineapple) help combat this for some people. However, due to body chemistry, medications, and other factors, it might not always do the trick.
22. Dental dams make oral sex with someone with a vulva safer. They are thin sheets of latex and can be home-made by cutting the ends off a condom and slitting it lengthwise to make a alternative option if you don’t have access to dental dams.
23. The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings in it. That’s twice that of a penis! So, go gently until encouraged to do otherwise.
24. Sex does not have to stop when someone ejaculates. Remove any condoms or clean up any mess, and keep going until everyone is satisfied!
25. Communication is the number one factor to a better, healthier sex life.
26. The hymen is not a bone, and does not break. It is a membrane layer that stretches. It can tear, which can lead to pain and bleeding. However, sex for the first time (or ever!) should never hurt. Go slower and focus on foreplay to increase natural lubrication.
27. Sexuality is fluid for a lot of people. Don’t worry about labels until you’re sure in your sexual and romantic interests. Explore freely and worry about terms later.
28. Orgasms release hormones that are natural pain-killers. This is why some menstruating people masturbate when they have cramps, because the body naturally reduces pain after an orgasm.
29. The hormones released also account for why some people cry or get very emotional after an intense orgasm. It’s totally normal.
30. There are limitless kinks in the world and so long as they are safe and consensual, there is nothing wrong with them.
31. Medications and mental health disorders can mess with your sex drive. Talk to your doctor if your sex drive has suddenly increased or decreased after starting a medication—there may be alternatives.
32. There is nothing “un-manly” or “gay” about enjoying anal play. Most men who try anal enjoy a little sensation in that area. People with penises also have a p-spot (prostate) and can have intense orgasms through anal penetration.
33. Always use lubrication generously to avoid vaginal or anal tearing.
34. Urinating after sex can reduce the risk of a UTI in people with vaginas.
35. Enjoying casual sex does not make you a bad person if you are up-front with your intentions and don’t maliciously seek to hurt others.
36. Condoms come in multiple sizes! It should never be loose or painfully tight.
37. Being sex-positive does not mean that everyone needs to enjoy sex. It simply promotes the happiness and sexual exploration (or non-exploration) of others.
38. Porn is not an educational guide to sex.
39. Certain positions feel better than others. Switch it up and find out what works for you and your partner(s).
40. Condoms are more likely to break if you don’t leave a reservoir tip for ejaculate.
41. Labia are often asymmetrical. Your long/uneven/poofy/dark labia are beautiful and there is nothing wrong with your body.
42. Up to 80% of people with a vagina can squirt with either g-spot or clitoral stimulation.
43. Drug store pregnancy tests are just as effective as brand name ones. In some cases, they’re even MORE effective.
44. Elevating your butt with pillows can make missionary sex easier for those of us with a big tummy or thick thighs.
45. Plan B does not work on people over a certain weight (160-175lbs).
46. There are safe alternatives to condoms or oral contraceptives. Talk to your doctor about your options.
47. Sex toys can open up a whole new world to folks willing to explore.
48. Orgasms can be highly psychological. Most people can’t climax when they’re upset or distracted.
49. Birth control can cause people to miss periods or spot in between periods.
50. Sex doesn’t have to be gentle if you don’t want it to be. There are healthy ways to explore rough sex or BDSM.

Anonymous asked: I’m having a problem when it comes to describing kisses and smiles without using the word lips and still sound natural. Usually, I don’t mind the word, but it seems like I’ve been using it far too often in my writing, especially when it comes to smiles or smirks. Do you have anything to help with that?

• grinning
• beaming
• laughing
• giggling
• chuckling
• simpering
• sneering

• face brightened
• face glowing
• eyes lit up/sparkled/twinkled
• looking delighted/happy/amused/pleased/satisfied
• cheeks dimpled
• upturned face

• mouth upturned
• mouth twitched (quick smile)
• mouth quirked/quirked up/quirked at the corners
• mouth twists with [emotion]

• doing things with enthusiasm
• a bounce in their step, skipping, dancing
• swinging arms, tapping feet
• showing interest
• happy tears
• fist-pump, clapping, moving excited

• radiating joy
• lighthearted
• feeling good
• being content

• if your attacker is male, go for his junk - especially if he’s wearing loose pants. There’s no sportsmanship when it comes to assault so fuck them balls UP
• punching pretty much ANYWHERE in the face is going to actually hurt you a LOT (just think - you’re punching your bones into their bones and ow). If you’re going for the face, my suggestion is to strick upwards with your palm.

• other delicate areas: 
• the shin (hurts like a bitch if you kick it right - also, you can hit this spot if you’re being held in a choke-hold and if your attacker has to move in order to stop you from kicking him, he’ll have to angle his body so as to expose his stomach and crotch to the wild spastic jabbings of your elbows)

• the solar plexus (either jab while holding your hand in a sort of spear position or use your elbows - unless you’re super strong, your punch probably won’t wind your attacker. Your elbow or a spear hand will, however)

• the clavicle (from experience, getting hit in your clavicle HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. If you strike downwards with your knuckles, the person might just cry. Like I did.)

• the ear (this is probably the best place to punch besides the throat. It’s all cartilage so it probably won’t hurt you all that much and most people will be like “DUDE YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE EAR WHAT THE HELL”)
• the kidneys (this is harder to hit without training but if you somehow get your attacker’s back to face you, try to hit’em in the kidneys. Again, from experience, this FUCKING HURTS. You can’t really hit the kidneys from the front with any effect but from the back it is super painful)

• if you’re held in a choke-hold, try turning your head so the forearm isn’t pressed into your throat. If you can position yourself right, you can sort of force your chin into the crook of the elbow, making you able to still receive (limited) oxygen and provide time for you to kick some shins or elbow some spleens and shit