download killing upload pain. instant thousand deaths to brain. motherboard on murder spree. blood computer victory.

online chilling upload nice. posts give life a little spice. cpu is pure and true. internet for me and you :)

what's that comment? "you wouldn't use a rapier in the same situation you'd use a folding chair"

New Crow Time 🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴

me: i really dont get why non-floridians lose their fucking shit when they see a beach. it’s just sand and water. who gives a fuck

also me: *sees one (1) mountain* ohohohoohohohohoh holy SHIT holy fuck that’s a big fuCKING ROCK

i love this post. i have never related to anything less

me, grown up in the Cascades range: *sees open plains*

me: oohhoh no. no ba.d . where . are teh rocks. wheres the woter. oh god it’s just drit everywhere for a million miles I need TREES dammit where are my lumber guardians

Me, grew up in Nebraska, the Great Plains: *see a forest*

Me: wHy ar e there s.o man y trEes??? They all g.ott so BiG wher is th skY

Me: Grows up in Boston, mostly travels to cities and Central America: *travels to the Southwest*

Me: where is everyone? Where is everything? What great calamity flatten this world?

Me: Grows up in rural Australia, travels to Europe: Green? How so much green?? Paddocks aren’t green! Why is it full of green grass like a cartoon??

Me: Grew up in the American Midwest *arrives on the coastline of any ocean, sprinting up and down the beach very fast* SHARKS? SHARKS?SHARKS? SHARKS? SHARKS? SHARKS?

Monkey very excited about exploring new biome.

this is to the guy in the electronics department at walmart who when I approached and said “game” because it was the only word that would come to me, went “yeah” and walked me straight to tears of the kingdom, no questions asked

When we’re new to adulthood, it doesn’t immediately occur to all of us that you’re almost always allowed to leave a situation, because growing up we’re forced to stay in situations until someone dismisses us and/or takes us home, or if we do leave on our own accord there’s someone waiting at home to say “we don’t quit in this family!” Boring party? You can leave. You don’t like the lecture? You can walk out. New doctor not working out? You can end the appointment, you don’t need to wait for them to dismiss you. Bad date? You can just go home. Leaving a situation prematurely might have consequences, but unless you’re under arrest or serving prison time, it’s pretty much always allowed.

–commenter Allison @ askamanager

A while back, I called for a Lyft ride home from the airport. The lyft pulled up, he called my name, and I opened the door and climbed in. While I was climbing in he was getting out, which I didn’t realize until he opened the back door on the other side.

Him: I’ll put your bag in the trunk. Me: Oh, there’s no need.  Him: I’ll just put it back there.  Me: I prefer to keep my bag with me.

I was also still holding onto it so he couldn’t just grab it, and when I said “I prefer to keep it with me” this cloud of rage crossed his face.

Him: Then get out.  Me: Excuse me? Him: Get out, I don’t want your bag fucking up my upholstery.

Now, this was a weekender – essentially an upscale duffle bag. Small, almost brand new, easily fitting on the middle-seat beside me. I don’t know if he was just really intense about his upholstery or if he was running some kind of scam, but either way I now DEFINITELY was not going to let him separate me from my bag.

So I said “Okay,” and I picked up my bag and got out, took out my phone, and cancelled him as my driver.

He looked at me like I’d grown a second head. There was this moment of total disconnect in his face, and then he started ranting about how someone had damaged his upholstery and they needed to put their bags in the back and he wasn’t going to have me getting his upholstery dirty. 

I said, “I’m out of your car. Drive on, I’ll get another,” and held up my phone.

This had clearly never happened before – it looked like plenty of people had thought “This guy is crazy” but went the “so I’d better let him do what he wants” route instead of “so I’m getting out of his car”. Which is totally normal! We’re socialized to prioritize “not making a scene” over personal safety. But when you do call that bluff, when you defy the social convention that the other person is counting on to make you do what they want you to do, they don’t know how to react, which gives you time for a clean getaway. And maybe he thought I was a dickhead but what do I care what an asshole thinks of me? 

Anyway the moral of the story is yes, you should know that you can almost always leave a situation and often it’s in your best interest to do so. 

(Right after I called for another car he picked up a fare using Quick Match or whatever it’s called, peeled out of the Lyft lane, and hit another car well nigh immediately.)

[ID: The Benefits of walking away. (Illustration of the back of a person walking away. ) 1. Makes bad things disappear quickly. 2. Gives everyone optimal view of your back. 3. Answers question, “I wonder what would happen if I just walked away”]

Also i dont know if you guys have ever seen medieval beekeeper garb, but:

Its the best!!!

Nope!

Woodcut from 1545! 😊 respect our basket faced cousins 😡

The Beekeepers, Pieter Bruegel the Elder, 1568

Now that plague doctors are cultural icons I want these to be next and I hope we arbitrarily decide that the two are somehow rivals.

why would they be rivals, they're dating and bop their masks together to kiss

The birds and the bees

!!!

They’re dating  ❤️

Deity who's unacquainted with concept of evolution creating a world with, like, twelve different kinds of creatures, thinking "yes, that's a good number – nice and symmetrical", then going on vacation for a couple million years and being very upset at what's waiting for them when they get back.

#they keep throwing extinction events at the world in an effort to get a clean slate and start over #life just keeps getting weirder in response #they're practically at their wits' end #and that's a lot of wits to be at the end of

#one day something sentient goes 'do you fucking MIND'#and the deity goes 'YOU CAN TALK?' via @titan-mom​

Hannibal 3x13 - “The Wrath of the Lamb”

Mushroom Bird Stickers // Cookie Doves

snupdate:baby jail

My boy has temporarily been relocated to baby jail while I do a tank deep clean

he shall be returned once the hides n things I've cleaned are drier

"mother, what I'll have I done to be committed thus to this polymer prison?"

crime: stimky

hope that helps

he has been returned! (got a nice shot before I slid the lid back on)

he's spent the last half hour circling the tank thinking its an entirely new enclosure!

as every everything isn't exactly back where it was!

he has been returned!

(got a nice shot before I

slid the lid back on)

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

"This story is a tragedy because it didn't have to end this way."

vs

"This story is a tragedy because it was always going to end this way."

#the best: this story is a tragedy because #there were SO many ways it could have gone differently #but the very fact of the characters’ natures precluded any option but the tragedy (via @curiosity-killed)

learning from the reblogs of that post that there's a lot of people out there under the impression that "kill your darlings" means "kill your characters" and that's the funniest possible interpretation of that phrase

since a couple people sent asks: it means you can't be precious about your own writing when the time comes to edit. sometimes you will write a really good scene, or a really good line, or a really good description. it will be your new favorite thing you've ever written. the kind of thing you want to post on tumblr attributed to "the book i haven't written yet" because it's just that good. but when the whole thing is done and you're reading it over, it just. it doesn't actually work. it stands out like a sore thumb. it fucks up the pacing, or maybe once you've really got a handle on characters you realize it's ooc. "kill your darlings" is about learning to delete those bits, even though they're really good, because they're making the work as a whole worse.

... but a lot of people i know don't actually delete them because it's 2023 and you can just cut and paste them into a different document titled "bits" until you write something where they'll fit. and sometimes it actually does fit in the work, but you tried to put it in the wrong place or in the mouth of the wrong character. but learning that you can put a lot of excellent paragraphs together to make a story that's worse than the sum of its parts is the important part.

Don’t kill your darlings. Pillage them for bits to use for later. It’s like Hannibal Lecter but for stories instead of rude people.

㋡🥀