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Tumblr's Basest Warlord

@hieronymus-botch

I am an enigma. I am ungovernable. I am god's perfect angel and I am never going to die. I'm 19 don't block me horny blogs.

Tumblr, buddy, listen to me. This is an unprecedented opportunity. You can snap up all of the pie here, and become defacto internet goodguy easy. All you gotta do is... drop the nsfw ban. Unambiguously. Announce that dicks are back on the menu. You want people subscribed the blogs? You want people to actually use your Post+ function? Porn. Let us use it for porn. The youngins aren't joining this site anyway, you're not competing with tiktok. The vaguely horny 20-40 demographic though? You can have that. You can have all of that. Think about it.

Do you know how many pinup artists alone are itching to come back to tumblr, but dont because of the unclear, seemingly arbitrary application of your nsfw policy? These are insanely talented people who are practically begging to give you content. For free. But you gotta change the policy. We can't keep dancing around this. Just think of publicity. The drama. A complete 180. You'd kill it tumblr. You could make it happen. Please.

Something it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize is how you really cannot talk about 00s era “New Atheism” that people are still scared of without acknowledging it as a response to Bush era moves to impose state endorsed religious values on people especially children. Like that’s a really major part of the social context that people, primarily people who go around spreading the “atheists are right wing white cishet males” myth, tend to ignore

Ever notice how when people do this thing they name either one or two individuals and never like any political atheist organizations many of whom were very active during the Bush era? What were American Atheists or Freedom From Religion during then?

Can you think of any other group where people work so hard to try force the token conservatives to be the representative?

Btw if I say things like “by god” or “good lord” in posts please be aware I don’t mean it in a catholic way I mean it in a 1950s scientist reacting in horror after they create an evil creature in the lab set in the distant future year of 2005

io che nonostante sia atea dica “grazie agli dei” e simili perché si io non credo in niente ma miliardi di persone hanno religioni e dei differenti ed io non voglio far sentire escluso nessuno

im frankly lucky the above reblog is about how theyre an atheist because there is nothing more terrifying than saying something slightly blasphemous and seeing a paragraph of italian in your replies

Oh I see so it's not that the person who made it was cultivating the strangest vibe possible for the grimace birthday playlist it's that they put every song ever on it

The word "faggot" appears in the lyrics on this playlist multiple times. Dead Kennedy's are on here.

I cannot. Stress. Enough. It is on the grimace birthday playlist.

IT IS ON. THE GRIMACE. BIRTHDAY PLAYLIST.

Its still so funny that they even thought to put this in the game in the first place. Yeah sure to get 100% completion you have to actively break the terms of service on purpose. This is normal

Anytime i see a bunch of pride flags i have to restrain myself from saying "where mexico" bc i doubt anyone will know I'm referencing this

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picture i got at pride last week; here mexico

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"creepy or wet" being the lasting impact of the gym copypasta is funny because that wasn't like... a fully bot-generated post. the only things being changed from the original greentext were two words,

based and cringe

btw the gym copypasta was already a riff on "is the movie reddit or not"

My wife is much better at predicting events in the Russia-Ukraine war than I am. Over a month before the invasion she started saying Russia was going to attack all of Ukraine, and my response was "no way they're gonna attack all of Ukraine, it doesn't work like the 19th century, this would be a really stupid and counterproductive thing to do!" And then for months she was like "this Prigozhin guy is surely gonna try to seize power" and I was like "no way, it's not the 2nd century, he would have no chance to actually succeed so going for it would be monumentally dumb".

And like I think I am starting to see the flaw in my analysis.

Percussive massage.

[ID: A video of a grey tabby lying on what appears to be a sofa; the tabby is being mercilessly whapped by two large tails, one golden and one black, which almost definitely belong to two dogs the cat has learned to tolerate.]

It is worth noting that the cat’s eyes are squinted shut, it’s fur lies flat, and it’s ears are relaxed and upright. Nothing is preventing the cat from leaving the couch. One can reasonably assume that the cat is having a great time with it’s excited doggy friends