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Just nerds being geeks

@hidinginmybochard

they/he, 23, a huge dork

Reminders for new ao3 users (in no particular order):

- filter your searches like you would on a library website or in an online catalogue

- don’t post placeholders, fic searches, or recommendations as fics. DON’T! It’s against ao3 TOS

- there is no algorithm. ao3 sorts by date posted/updated unless you filter with specific search criteria

- ao3 is a non profit. that means it doesn’t sell ads to make money — it only survives on donations. this is why it can show you so many fics without ever flashing an ad or pop up at you!

- report fics that break TOS when you see them (I.e., placeholder fics, searches) to help other users navigate better

- the tag “dead dove, do not eat” doesn’t equate to gore/awfulness automatically. it is a complementary tag that enhances current tags. E.g., if the fic is tagged “gore” and “dead dove, do not eat” the author really wants you to mind the gore tag

- most fandoms have a variation of “no beta, we die like (x character)” and they all link back to the “No beta” tag

- publishing a new fic sometimes means it won’t show up in the fandom/pairing tag for a few minutes

- subscribers receive update emails at different times, depending on when you update/publish your fic. there’s no good way to predict when an e-mail will be sent — it can be in 30 seconds, or two hours later

- some fics are restricted by authors to those with ao3 accounts only. if you see a blue lock in the upper right corner, that fic is only visible to logged in ao3 users

- you can block commenters now! this didn’t use to be a thing

- updating a fic just to stay at the top of the pairing tag/fandom tag is a dick move. unless you’re legitimately editing or adding chapters, this just annoys readers and fellow authors, and people will skip over your fic

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- make sure that you tag your ships correctly, both romantic and platonic. Putting an “&” between a pair of names means that the ship is platonic. Putting a “/” between the characters means its romantic. For example: “Greg & Steve” = platonic. “Greg/Steve” = romantic. They are NOT interchangable.

- if your fic includes original character/s or reader insert or y/n or etc, then TAG THOSE IN THE CHARACTER TAGS. Not just in the relationship tags!! They are characters in the story, so include them in the character tags. Failing to do so means people who want to find fics with those tags won’t be able to, and people who want to exclude fics with those tags won’t be able to.

- NEVER EVER EVER ADD A LINK TO A PATREON OR KO-FEE ACCOUNT OR ETC. Ao3’s entire legal protection hinges on the fact that no one is making money from fics. If you start commissioning fics or linking to a monetary platform, you are in breach of the Ao3 terms, risking legal action, and risking ao3 as a whole. There are loads of authors/companies who WILL sue if they think you’re making money off their intellectual property.

- seconding what OP said about Dead Dove Do Not Eat. It doesn’t automatically mean “gore”; it just means “heed the tags.” It means “Hey yeah when I tagged this as [thing] I was NOT fucking around, ok? Only read this fic if you’re OK with reading [thing].”

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additions from someone who has posted way too much on this site please listen to me:

  • there are no best times to post but generally sunday and monday are a good zone for traffic
  • you must double check and make sure the publication date matches the day a chapter is posted or it won’t show up on the first page of updates. sometimes you have to physically edit the posting date multiple times for this to be fixed.
  • on that note: artificially editing your publication date so your fic shows up at the top when you haven’t added a chapter is the dickest of moves and will make you a pariah. do not do this. yes everyone will notice.
  • editing existing chapters doesn’t count as updating a fic and won’t change the publication date.
  • ao3 usually adds weird spaces after italics if you copy and paste in your writing pre-formatted. it doesn’t add these until after you’ve saved a draft or posted so you have to re-edit.
  • check the “add space after paragraph” option in your word precessor of choice to avoid having to delete an extra space between all your paragraphs on ao3.
  • when you add a second chapter to a one chapter fic, your original start/end authors notes will now be appended onto the notes of every chapter unless you move them to the now extant first chapter notes sections. this is confusing, but you’ll see what i mean.
  • to post on anon: add your fic to the anonymous (anonymous) collection. it’ll take up to fifteen to minutes to show in the tag once posted. it’ll show up (to you) as AUTHOR NAME: fic title. no one else sees it this way. it will never show up on your own dashboard unless you go to your stats page. if you ever de-anon, all your subs will get an email about it as if it were just posted.
  • if you update multiple fics at once, ao3 will group the updates into one email.
  • to transfer a fic to a new ao3 account: make a new account, make the new account a co-author, remove the old account as co-author.
  • you cannot mention money changing hands for fic on ao3, ever. don’t say commissions. say a fic was requested if you must say anything. your fic can get taken down for this.
  • reply to comments or never complain about engagement in fandom.
  • per that: EVERY TIME YOU EDIT A COMMENT, THE AUTHOR GETS A NEW COPY OF YOUR COMMENT IN THEIR EMAIL. we can see all the edits. be aware.
  • tagging is both a warning and an enticement, do so accordingly. you really don’t need to tag things that fall outside that unless you want to.
  • on that note: please don’t do the “short fics for 300 different fandoms in one fic” thing. no one wants to scroll past that. i mean you can but it just makes it harder for people to find the thing you’ve written that they want to read.
  • if you are really bad at summaries just think of it as a movie tag line and don’t say you’re bad at summaries. don’t neg your own fic.
  • re all the questions i saw in replies: fic searches are people looking for specific fics. i don’t know what the fuck a placeholder fic is but these aren’t fanworks and you can’t post them. you can’t post discord links or rp requests or complaints about fandom. you can post fanart and meta essays. that’s allowed.

Also Ao3 has a google docs posting script that makes life so much easier when copy+pasting to post !

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i read the hobbit in 3rd grade and i thought it was really lame. however i liked bilbo baggins for some reason and i was fully convinced he was some sort of rabbit/mouse thing until i saw the lotr movies and was really, really confused

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im so happy everyone love me

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It's also interesting how many times I've told someone that I'm not trans, I'm intersex and technically cis, and then they turn on this sort of "I'm talking to an idiot who doesn't know anything about complex gender shit" baby mode

As if being intersex and starting to grow a beard as an eleven year old little girl didn't force me to develop complex thoughts and ideas and opinions on gender and sex

As if I'm not in my thirties now and have been out of the intersex closet for almost five years and it took years of work to even accept my intersex body

As if I'm not a woman who has intentionally passed as a man for my own safety. For years. In Texas. And lived with the discomfort and dysphoria of hating being perceived as male despite needing to for my safety

But yeah. I don't know shit about gender, please be condescending to me and treat me like an idiot bc you don't know anything about intersex people or our experiences

[Image ID: tags that read,

“#intersex perspectives should be an integral part of queer and trans education #not because they can benefit perisex people #but because perisex people owe it to intersex people to include them in their worldview #intersex perspectives matter because intersex people matter #it's not an optional or bonus thing #to unlock Gender Nirvana #it is required so you don't end up being an asshole to intersex people”

End of ID]

Pls do not reblog anything with the old disability pride flag, it does cause seizure and migraines, please use the new one which was created by the same person with the feedbacks of many other disabled people.

This is the safe one:

Dont use the zigzag one, your making disabled space inaccessible for a part of the community.

[Image ID: tumblr tags reading “I appreciate the fact that it’s by the same person” and “like a quality of life softwar[e] update but for a flag”. End ID]

patch notes 1.0.1: visual contrast no longer causes strobe effect when scrolling. Zigzag design was difficult to visually process and anxiety inducing, and was removed. Colors have been lightened and desaturated. For the safety of all users, please make sure you are up to date.

i dont think ive ever had my phone off of silent in my entire life. it doesnt even buzz. if you want to reach me you better pray to all your gods im looking at my phone or you never will

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you can't really place all the blame for bad female character design on artists because a lot of that comes from higher up the chain of command, which is something I learned the hard way when a client had me draw breasts and eyelashes on a wasp so that it was obvious she's a girl wasp

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They are not as high-profile as the WGA, but I would like to bring everyone's attention to the imminent strike action by thousands of hotel workers in Los Angeles. They are set to go on strike tomorrow, July 1st, 2023.

More than 15,000 hotel workers are seeking higher pay, better benefits, and working conditions. This includes an across-the-board $5 an hour raise, as well as affordable healthcare and better pensions. They also are seeking a ban on the use of E-Verify, which is used to deny employment to undocumented workers and workers involved with the criminal justice system. You can follow what is happening at their Twitter.

I choose to incorporate this into my worldview.

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Adam Sandler, magnificent bastard, was not a sentence I ever expected to say but here we are.

Man's got talent

babe wake up new adam sandler lore just dropped

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Huh.

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Everyone who works with him talks about what a mensch he is, so, like... that scans.

Yeah he plays a lot of really annoying characters because there's a market for it. But this all tracks of what I've heard about him behind the scenes.

I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.

I really needed this

I’m bringing this back for December to remind everyone.

You did not waste your year.

If you made it this far, that’s already not wasting your year.

You made it through the year, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you saw the sun and felt the rain, and most importantly, you’re still here.

You did not waste your year.

You mad it this far, and I’m proud of you.

*it may not seem like I can be, but seeing that someone needed to hear it and so they let me say it makes me so so proud. It’s a bit of an oroboros but we’re ignoring that. <3

ULTIMATE "OH FUCK I JUST GOT MY FIRST APARTMENT AND ALL I HAVE IS ONE CHANGE OF CLOTHES AND A THIRD SOCK" CHECKLIST

CLEANING

  • Dish soap
  • Laundry detergent
  • All-purpose cleaner
  • Hand soap
  • Broom
  • Mop
  • Wash cloths / rags
  • Vacuum
  • Dustpan
  • Lint roller
  • Sponges

KITCHENWARE

  • Plates
  • Bowls
  • Spoons
  • Forks
  • Knives
  • Glasses
  • Mugs
  • Tongs
  • Spatula
  • Plastic wrap
  • Ziplock baggies
  • Garbage bags
  • Paper towel
  • Tupperware
  • Ice tray
  • Oven mitts
  • Potato peeler
  • Mixing bowls
  • Frying pan
  • Pot
  • Baking sheet
  • Whisk
  • Stirring spoons / ladels
  • Tea infuser ball
  • Measuring cups
  • Strainer
  • Cutting board
  • Coffee maker
  • Kettle
  • Toaster
  • Magnets
  • Dry erase markers
  • Sticky notes
  • Microwave
  • Wire sponge
  • Trash bin
  • Recycling bin
  • Rubber gloves
  • Silverware organizer
  • Measuring spoons
  • Aluminum foil
  • Wax paper
  • Can opener
  • Bottle opener
  • Containers for salt, sugar, flour, etc.

LIVINGROOM

  • Sofa
  • Rocking chair (you know you want one)
  • Loveseat
  • Coasters
  • Blankets
  • Throw pillows
  • Coffee table
  • Book shelves
  • TV
  • TV stand
  • Floor lamp
  • End table
  • Stereo system / radio

BEDROOM

  • Mattress
  • Box spring
  • Bedframe
  • Linens
  • Sheets
  • Comforter
  • Hangers
  • Laundry hamper
  • Trash bin
  • Curtains
  • Pillows
  • Pillow cases
  • Night table
  • Alarm clock
  • Lamp
  • Dresser
  • Coat rack
  • Desk / vanity
  • Comfy chairs

DININGROOM

  • Dining table
  • Minimum of 2 chairs
  • Coasters
  • Placemat
  • Tablecloth
  • Tea lights /candles and candle holders

BATHROOM

  • Face clothes
  • Towel
  • Soap bar
  • Body wash
  • Shampoo
  • Conditioner
  • Tissues
  • Toilet paper
  • Trash bin
  • Plunger
  • Toilet cleaner
  • Cold, flu, pain, and allergy meds
  • Hydrogen peroxide
  • Antibacterial ointment
  • First-Aid kit
  • Tweezers
  • Nail clippers
  • Band-aids
  • Shower rod
  • Shower curtain
  • Toothbrush
  • Toothpaste
  • Floss
  • Period products
  • Bathmat
  • Air freshener
  • Trash bin
  • Towel rod
  • Towels

MISCELLANEOUS

  • Elastic bands
  • Stapler
  • Stables
  • Paper clips
  • Needles and thread
  • AA / AAA batteries
  • Light bulbs
  • Extension cords
  • Scotch tape
  • Duct tape
  • Shovel
  • Rake (if you have a yard)
  • Stain remover
  • Jar of courters for laundry mat
  • Screw drivers
  • Hammer
  • Nails
  • Sticky tack
  • Screws
  • Box cutter / X-acto
  • Pliers
  • Wrench
  • Pens
  • Paper
  • Pencils
  • Pencil sharpener
  • Eraser
  • Welcome matt
  • Shoe rack
  • Coat rack
  • Flashlight
  • Flashlight batteries
  • Watch batteries
  • Rechargeable batteries and charger
  • Safe place to discard dead batteries
  • Candles
  • Matches
  • Lighter
  • Mini travel fans
  • Real fans
  • Emergency Survival kit
  • Fire extinguisher
  • Landline phone
  • Window air conditioner
  • Carbon monoxide alarm
  • Fire alarm

FOOD STUFF

  • Mustard
  • Ketchup
  • Mayo
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Baking soda
  • Flour
  • Eggs
  • Milk
  • Bread
  • Olive oil
  • Tea
  • Jam
  • Peanut-butter
  • Coffee grounds
  • Cereal
  • Rice
  • Pasta
  • Vegetable soup
  • Tomato sauce
  • Frozen vegetables
  • Crackers
  • Chickpeas / lentils
  • Apples
  • Oranges
  • Granola bars
  • Juice
  • Hot chocolate mix
  • Frozen meats

im keeping this for future reference

need this now thanks MUCHHHH

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Remember to customize for your needs and that you don’t have to have everything on this list!

As @staff further refine the polls while they're rolling them out (still haven't gotten mine sadly), here's a suggestion of mine: Polls with a ten year time limit.

As of right now, it's impossible for polls to turn into long-running legendary posts. You can try, sure (see the bug race), but it's a week and then it's locked, fixed, done, and all that's left is for people to reminisce about that time there was a poll.

On the other hand, if a ten year poll gets popular, it can become part of Tumblr lore while still being updated. People can write passionate appeals for their vote and fight in the notes. Others can make graphs to show how the poll's majorities shift with each different US president or Taylor Swift album. People can make memes about "remember 2025, when option 3 was in the lead? That was a crazy time".

Why ten years, though, instead of a hundred or just no time limit? Because that way, the end becomes an event. People who voted in the poll when it was just a few hours old can watch the final countdown together, and there's a new point in Tumblr history: That day when we finally all agreed on the best option, and presumably also some important political stuff happened.

Now, granted, most ten year polls would never reach this level of notoriety. But it only takes a few polls like this to be worthwhile. Maybe this shouldn't be an option for users to select, but something the Tumblr website grants/pushes on you at random?

So, yeah. Ten year polls. They should be a thing.

Can you imagine the chaos of a 10 year poll with the options

Super

Who

Lock

Can you imagine

the chaos of a 10 year

poll with the options

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

WHAT

twitter is broken today 😭 are there any other ways that people search for anthologies to apply to?

might not be broken actually! Might be working as intended!

OH FUCK! okay twitter is dead, that’s amazing. this is a death blow. does he not understand that the platform relies on addictive doom scrolling, and that people actively want to quit but can’t because it activates all the right brain chemicals? this is wonderful for me at least, with Elon’s help I can finally kick this particular addiction.