sometimes i wake up and realize i’m still the same heartbroken 17 year old girl just in the body of someone older
Yesterday I almost cried because my baby cousin ran up to my grandmother and was like. “Ha! Buhbuh ba ha.” And she said okay you want to show me something? And he led her over to the garden patch and crouched down and pointed at rocks and plants and was like. “Ah. Habah ba ah” as she listened attentively.
And I was like that happened 1,000 years ago. Probably 10,000 years ago. Maybe 100,000. The youngest human in a group went to the oldest one and said to the best of their ability “come see.” And the adult went.
this is such a beautiful post it doesn't need my dumb addition, but i can't fit this in the tags. at the archaeological site Dolni Vestonice in the Czech Republic there are a bunch of really really fascinating finds and I'm only going to tell you about one tiny detail of one of the most interesting sites in the world.
at this settlement 20-30,000 years ago there lived a person who appears to have been a sort of sorcerer-grandmother-ceramics artist and her workshop was preserved very well in the sedimentary layers. her hut where she had her kilns was full of little sculptures of animals and people that seem to have been made to explode in the kiln on purpose, we're not sure why but nevermind. the relevant detail is that when you sculpt something with your hands and then fire it, your fingerprints can be preserved in the surface of the clay forever, so we have fingerprints of ancient ceramics artists that have survived for tens of thousands of years. and one of the major artifacts from Dolni Vestonice has a fingerprint on it that is so small it could only have belonged to a child
so this shaman-grandmother-sculptor, who was buried with her pet fox by the way, had children running through her workshop and touching everything she made while she was at her mysterious work of creating the world's oldest ceramics, none of which appear to be bowls, bottles, pots, or any "useful" items at all, but rather a collection of animal and human and sometimes anthropomorphic figures, some of which appear to be self portraits. exactly the same as sandersstudios' grandmother being led to the garden by an excited baby. we've all been the same for 30,000 years.
It’s kind of interesting that Dracula goes on and on about how being notably foreign in England will make him friendless, for “a stranger in a strange land, he is no one; men know him not—and to know not is to care not for.” Meanwhile no one in Bistritz knows Jonathan, and yet they weep for him, press gifts upon him, beg him to turn back, and even risk their lives to try to get him away from danger.
Maybe the count makes no friends in strange lands because he just sucks.
@arysthaeniru you’re so right though you’re SO right, and it gets you coming and going, doylist and watsonian, because just as Dracula would be shunned for being a scary foreign eastern european, Stoker is also expecting his readers to distrust him for being a scary foreign eastern european.
vampires are monsters that infiltrate our good proper high society by pretending they belong, so they can corrupt and prey upon the innocent. that’s their shtick. this is why so many vampires are queer, because homophobic societies usually think queerness is something you can be converted to and/or catch like a disease. (also vampires are frequently about giving in to your dark urges, and then there’s repressed sexuality etc etc, but I digress.) and it’s DEFINITELY why the oldest modern vampires (Dracula, Carmilla, that guy Polidori wrote about in The Vampyr, that guy Byron’s ex wrote about when she was trying to get over him) are always foreign! because british self-identity at the time (especially for wealthier people) was about as bound up in colonialist/imperialist xenophobia as it is possible to be.
it’s the orientalism again! we can’t escape it! it’s the backbone of this book!
Thinking about how Jonathan found comfort in the feminine air of the rooms, and then Dracula's Three Weed Smoking Girlfriends™ came in and used their twisted femininity against him; like how Dracula is his captor and abuser, and yet his only source of protection against those awful women; like how Jonathan found comfort in writing in his diary and his letters to Mina, but the Count has forced him to lie to them, to tell them he's doing fine, so he has no catharsis even through his own writings; how his interest and delight in legal matters has turned into a necessary mask, to keep from angering the Count; how his job was supposed to save him and Mina from a terrible life of poverty and pain, but now will likely mean his terrible end; and also like how he was raised to view crucifixes as idolatrous, and yet his crucifix is one of the only things he feels is protecting him from the Count's assaults.
Thinking about how everything is backwards, the Count has twisted everything Jonathan knew, everything he found comfort in, to fit his desires. To lure Jonathan into his arms, even when Jonathan knows how dangerous he is, because everything has turned topsy-turvy, but at least he knows where he stands with Dracula - he knows what game he's playing, even if he doesn't get a choice in whether or not he plays it. And better the devil you know, right?
Thinking.
you can replace studying with 0.5-4 hours of thinking about The Character. but watch out
I feel like when I say ‘relatable’ what I really mean is ‘resonant.’ I don’t want characters who I feel are like me, I want characters who have emotions so strong I can feel them through the page.
friendship can be so fleeting no wonder humans are so scared to be vulnerable . what do you mean we put our hearts and souls into people only for something as simple as time to rob our bonds … what do you mean some friendships just aren't meant to last forever?? that sometimes we outgrow people we once knew better than the lines on our palms?? when the version of them we have in our heads becomes outdated, when it means nothing that we know exactly how they take their coffee and why they don't talk about their brother. that today I mean the world to somebody who might only think of me on my birthday in a years time. what an open fucking wound.
no more of the agonies. have you seen the wonders
psa this post is about mundane wonders!!!!! the everyday!!!!!!!!!!!! your favorite color a soft jacket sunshine rain the taste of your favorite food talking to a friend!!!!!!!!!!!!! you dont have to just wish for them you too can see the wonders if you learn to look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm a simple girl: i see sunlight on the water, i find god
i hear the laugh of someone i love, i find god. the setting sun fills my room, i find god. i eat fresh strawberries off the vine, i find god. someone rests their head on my shoulder, i find god.
everyone gushing about ariel and eric's dynamic in the little mermaid 2023 and how "they have so much in common" kinda makes me sad that it took this long and a live-action movie for people to see them the way i've always seen them. like this is why i've been so insane about them since i was a kid. they have ALWAYS been a match, they have ALWAYS been so alike in the original movie and that's why ""ariel gave it all up for a boy"" but he's really not just a boy. what she saw in him made HER feel SEEN. the first time she sees him, she learns everything she needs to know about him: he feels like he doesn't belong in this company of people who only see him as a prince when what he seeks is adventure, he wants MORE, he is compassionate and empathetic, literally almost died for his dog, and what fascinates her most about him is that he's a prince and she's a princess but HE at least has freedom. she saw him and instantly knew he could give her something nobody in her life and in her kingdom could, which is UNDERSTANDING.
ariel and eric have ALWAYS been twin flames and i get that this wasn't fully fleshed out in the original (because what original disney princess romance is except for maybe beauty and the beast idk) but i'm glad this is everyone's takeaway from the live-action now.
when you look up the definition of simpdom in their little island kingdom i hope prince eric shows up. i hope dimples mcgee who had his ass saved and decided actually, that's my future wife. TIME MAY CHANGE THE SHORELINE, BUT TIME WILL NOT CHANGE ME. even aside from his kindness to ariel when she couldn't speak, when he found out she was a mermaid, he just held her tighter. dude had his mind made up. married her so fast man. love me a dimples mcprince ericgee.
we also got eric partly shirtless twice!!!! thank you for your service, jonah hauer-king 👏
listen if the little mermaid 2023 did anything right it was ariel and eric... they were already a good couple in the original but fleshing him out and making him drawn to the ocean in a parallel to ariel being drawn to land is so good. and kind of increasing that human vs merfolk tension to make it this romeo & juliet love story. like sorry they kind of slayed there. eric sees ariel turn back into a mermaid in front of him and all he does is hold her tighter. they're both gigantic nerds. he's a foot taller than her. it's incredible.
it's amazing how ordinary objects can become so significant to only the owner
when my aunt's best friend passed away, my younger brother was four years old. at his funeral, my brother went up to her and gave her a nickel. he told her very solemnly that it would make her feel better. she smiled for the first time in days, and tucked it in her wallet.
when my brother was 22, his best friend passed away unexpectedly. my aunt drove three hours to be there for him at the funeral. she went up to my brother, gave him a big hug, and then gave him a nickel. it was the same nickel; she had kept it in her wallet for 18 years, and now it's on a necklace that he never takes off.
what i'm trying to say is that the love you put into the world will always find its way back to you.
sudden urge to burst into tears. im not a toddler i just agree with their beliefs