At the start, before the privilege of meeting you fell, I thought hopeless was the pattern. I was callous, so it seemed. Everyone looked elated, exhilerated. All I experienced was regret and grief, much much grief. Day by day this thing known as the black slug swallowed every bit of ecstasy leaving nothing but a bunch of despair. Yes, I despised every inch of it. No, I did not choose this life, who would? However, the inevitable happened...You appeared out of the void. Since that sight, not even vodka could paralyze and numb those thoughts. On the contrary, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, the memory of your face took shape in my mind more clearly than before. How could i have forgotten you?Whether my eyes were open or close, whether i was sleeping or awake, you were always before me. Even though the caress of your gaze and the profound delight i had experienced had been only momentary and devoid of reciprocity, yet i felt the need of those eyes. Terrified, I took a decision which altered my life. What seemed as a curse, turned out to be a blessing. I made a step towards the blue where my expectations where exceeded. Hence I started waking up with a smile ever since, for the thought of you kept haunting me. It was you, the reason I move forward, the remaining light in my miserable life, the person I would die to impress. When I managed to earn your love, a feeling took over. That feeling when veins go numb, when tears leave a mark, when words fail to express. It was exotic to adapt, I never encountered someone who would cherish me. You made it seem so simple, yet your face made me go mad. I would never replace a hug from you, nor could I ever forget the moment our lips touched. The sweetness of your kiss left me feeling stranded for days,how could i ever not recall each second of it? And as I pour my heart and tears for you sweetheart, I am certain you are worth all this and beyond more.You deserve all the praise i could give, and all the fondness I could provoke. Even though i spend most, if not all, of my time thinking about you I feel like it is not enough. I am forever in your debt darling. And no, im not squandering my time,for me it is a need. I need you, I freaking need you. I need that beautiful smile of yours, those eyes, those lips,everything you behold. I got addicted to you so easily... The thing is, i want us to last, i cant handle the thought of losing you. I want us to grow wrinkles together, to share the same ceiling, and above them all, I want you to be the one to have my last name. No matter how much words i utter, nothing would depict my insides. From being on the verge of falling of a cliff, to claiming the unreachable, all due to you. You are my all. Would you grant me the honor, of claiming you mine? -PY
(@heyimmermaiding on tumblr) Passage from my unwritten stories “El Amor”