gettin’ it done on a daily basis

my nephew, who is like 11 or 12, is playing “5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel”, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and I have never been more terrified of the youth of today

here’s a sample picture from the Steam page:

what the hell is this

Always reblog the 5D chess with multiverse time travel horror

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

meander, a short comic about a river, and bivalves, and the fossil record. inspired of course by john mcphee’s basin and range!

why is this so passive aggressive toward sokka i’m crying

you know a Reddit AITA is gonna be good when it’s titled like ‘AITA for [insert perfectly benign or benevolent act that anyone would agree with doing here]?’ and it has the asshole flare

a non-Reddit observer might take this post as meaning that the comments section of a post like this is just outwardly malicious to an actually good deed, and don’t get me wrong like it’s Reddit and people WILL do that shit, but you’d be surprised to know that this in fact is an indicator that op is actually an insane person being roasted in the comments section for good reason, and you now get to open the thread to see exactly why

“AITA for burning down my brother’s house?” ends up being a thread where OP rescued his small nieces and nephews from a raging drug party, accidentally knocking over his brother’s meth lab in the process and therefore setting the place ablaze; “AITA for giving my daughter a stuffed toy when she was crying??” ends with it being revealed that OP manufactures the toys himself in a sweatshop staffed by local 8-year-old orphans

I'm also presuming there's a healthy dose of the assholes doing everything they can to frame themselves as the reasonable party

oh yeah those are the best ones. sometimes op will start arguing with people in the comments and the mods have to come wrangle them up to abide by the ‘accept your judgement’ rule, and after that they just start editing the post like an angry mid 2000s fanfiction.net author to own the haters but that only infuriates the crowd more, so it ends up being like you’re in a courthouse watching the crowd go insane in support of the jury while the judge bangs their gavel for order. even if the story is fake like, you can’t beat that entertainment

i made this post a couple weeks ago and one of the most fascinating parts of the responses here are that everyone seems to be on the same page that sure, a lot of them are probably fake, but it doesn't matter because the true point of r/AITA is for entertainment. like part of the fun is not knowing if it's actually real or not, but going into it suspending your disbelief and pretending that it's real is the most fun because that way you can 1. think about what you would do if you were in this situation, 2. think about who the fuck would actually make these choices and what op might be hiding, and 3. take part in throwing rotten food at our protagonist as the mods slowly trudge them through the medieval reddit city in chains in a show of public humiliation to the masses

life really is just like. you meet people you love them and then you lose them and you never see them again. and it’s inevitable and it happens to everyone and there’s nothing you can do about it

richard siken quote. you know the one

back when the pewdiepie controversies were going on, i often saw people saying "who's pewdiepie" and i always thought that was weird bc who the fuck doesn't know who pewdiepie is. you have to be aware of his existence, not even by watching his content, just by being on the internet, he was famous as shit. but now i get it. i have no idea who or what dream is and i want to keep it that way

fuck

Male thot jobs.

Barber Dj Personal Trainer Plug Club Promoter Tattoo Artist Mechanic Foot Locker Fedex/UPS Photographer Warehouse Overnight Stocker @ Grocery Stores Construction Worker EMT Sprint/TMobile Comcast

This is the one

good boys

Umbrella Academy sketch dump!! I love this show

one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean’s weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean’s dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible. 

think about this. there’s an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean’s pop culture references, because the average viewer won’t have seen everything he’s talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don’t understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that’s because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going “what the fuck is WRONG with them?”

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn’t help him understand the following:

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean’s mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he’s talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester’s way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental “dean winchester dictionary” and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he’s telling dean that he can’t understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean’s tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean’s jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says “it was a witch, not the tet offensive.” since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: “you wanna just walk right into the death star?” cas: “what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?”). whenever he asks dean to clarify it’s always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he’s too annoyed to care. (dean: “i don’t know who’s on first, what’s on second!” cas: “what IS second???”) i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS. 

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it’s season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don’t remember what season he started using “yeah” instead of “yes” but i do know it took a really damn long time. 

and honestly, i don’t think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that’s something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale. 

so what’s true romance, fellas? it’s falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he’s ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

yall look at this shit ad*be is tryna pull now on ppl who have outdated software:

(note for context: i’m all for piracy, but in this case my copy of CS6 was downloaded years ago when they were giving it away to students. i got it totally legally.)

so here is what NOT to do if you’re a loyal fan of adobe who has the cash to shell out for a newer and shittier version of the product you already paid for.

1) DON’T use your search bar to find and open the Run app

2) DON’T type in services.msc

3) DON’T find Adobe Genuine Software Integrity Services and right-click to get a dropdown menu, and don’t select ‘properties’

4) if you happen to click properties, DON’T use the startup type dropdown to locate the option to disable the program. be sure you DON’T click apply to finalize that change. 

5) DO NOT do the same thing in order to also disable Adobe Genuine Software Monitor 

if you do all of these things, this WILL disable adobe’s ability to monitor the software, and you will be forced to continue using the same older software that you already paid for instead of having to sign up for a newer, shittier version and pay more for it. so if you have lots of cash to spare and are cool with putting it the pockets of racketeering capitalists, definitely don’t do any of these things. 

however, you SHOULD reblog this to spread the word, as we certainly want to make sure lots of people know what NOT to do :)

I’M SORRY MA'AM. I KNOW YOU’RE UPSET.

Pretend to be upset.

OP how could you

I hope none of my friends who use Adobe programs find this, follow your detailed instructions, and spread the word. That would be devastating!

shounen writers when writing about Just 2 Bros Who Are Just Really Good Friends: they are the sun and moon, day and night. one is sunlight and the other is his shadow. one cannot exist without the other. no matter how far they go, how many lifetimes pass, their souls will always wander back to each other. they are two sides of the same coin. they belong with each other and are soulmates. they’re each others most cherished person. 

shounen writers when writing about het ships: she was the only girl member in their team so obviously then ended up together

natural by imagine dragons suits five, i think

Klaus + Ben

The Lookouts?