From my experience what these people actually want is confirmation that their experiences were normal and correct and that it's the world that has gone wrong. That's why confronting them with the fact that actually how they were treated was literally abuse makes them so upset, they don't want to acknowledge that they were (and often still are) victims of people and systems outside their control. They were raised with the mindset that to admit something hurt you was a weakness. They were raised to believe that suffering through hardship silently is a sign of good character and strength. They want to be praised for being so strong, not sympathised with for being so hurt, they just don't know what to do with that massive shift in perspective
OH GOD I’ve done this a lot over the years…I can’t help it. An acquaintance or friends of friends bring up casual child abuse stories as proof or some rhetorical device and I know I changed at least one of their entire world views in the process bc he told me like a year later. Just meet everyone who shares this stuff with empathy (which sometimes THEY view as pity, that’s on them.) It’s wildly effective although I’ve been told that it can be a “downer” but when that came up I was like “you think him talking about getting hit with a belt in the first place wasn’t the downer??”
Honestly, if you went back in time about ten years and told me my dad was abusive, I would have been so angry with you. How dare you suggest my dad was an evil person? It was only after I finally accepted that good people trying their best can still be abusive that I could actually process my trauma, and THAT only came after I opened up to a therapist who had the exact above reaction.
Yup, same, except make that 20+ years ago for me. A straightforward approach wouldn’t have worked. Lots of folks aren’t ready to hear “you were abused” hence “wow you didn’t deserve to be treated like that” can be so helpful!
Fuck it, post lamb stew slow cooker recipe
How high was I last night?
How much lamb stew did I want to make??
1,814¾ lbs of Lamb????
>960 cups beef broth >2 bay leaves
the unfathomable power of bay leaf
David Tennant being an rainbow angry scottish man for 13 seconds (i love him sm):
Obsessed with AO3 writers, who are a particularly fascinating subspecies of homo sapien.
As I get older, I've noticed the way I act has changed. Shocker, I know. But that's not my point.
How I act around people I don't know, I do know, I trust, and by myself tells a lot about myself that I've just realized over the past couple of years.
Before, the way I knew I was comfortable around a person was whether or not I was able to tell them about my problems.
Now? It's whether I can laugh around them. A genuine laugh.
Twitter is bad but I'm realizing that if it dies then there will be zero mainstream social media platforms where NSFW content can be posted without restrictions (reddit doesn't really count, it's a combination forum host/link aggregator), and that really, really scares me with regards to where we are at as a society.
I am reminded of the famous burrito test, which states that "if you cannot get up at 3am and microwave a burrito, you live in an institution". I propose an analogous maxim for community and social spaces, both online and offline; if you cannot post hole for your friends to see, despite your mutual consent, you aren't in an "open social platform", you are being farmed as somebody's product.
Absolutely. The importance of being able to post adult content isn't Everyone Needs Porn Omg (though liking porn is fine and masturbation and sexual fantasy are normal for many humans), it's that that's one of the first ways that powerful people take control of what you hear and see.
You should ALWAYS be skeptical of it.
Also, queer people are often labeled 'adult content' when we're just existing in public. (even on this very site!) So any "you can't show adult content" policy, no matter how innocuously worded, can become a "sweep those icky queers under the rug" policy.
Today on : Yes. I am a human being
Laundry
I'm not going to do your laundry for you. No. I refuse. We don't even offer that service. There's is a laundry room 20 steps away from you, free to use. Don't ask me to do your laundry. Don't ask the cleaning staff to do your laundry. YOU do your own laundry. Stop yelling at me.
Today on : Yes, I am a human being
Keys
If you want to be nice to me, just do one simple thing. Put your keys in the box, say have a nice day, and leave :)
If you want to be a heathen, here are some things you can do.
- Hand me your keys while standing directly in front of a clearly marked box labeled "DROP KEYS HERE"
- Take the keys (which look like every single other key I have at my disposal) out of the numbered slip and drop both paper and keys in my box.
- Pull your keys out half way, staring at me until I notice, and then dropping your keys
- Take the keys out of the numbered slip, move the box to the side, and lay both the keys and the slip out on my desk where I can see them... in a line... And walk away...
- Place your keys on the other side of my desk. Like, two whole workstations away from me. When I'm the only person here. And leave.
Today on : Yes, I am a human being
Food Consumption
Listen. Despite what you may think, I am a human. I do consume food. I will do it in front of you, prepare yourself and try not to be too shocked.
this came to me in a coffee-induced dream. have some Y/Ns
Solar Lunacy by @bamsara
(it was, in reality, not fine) by @bones-of-a-rabbit
copper cogs rusted through by @paper-lilypie (me)
Twin Animatronics With Too Much Time on Their Hands by @twinanimatronics and @dana-chan-the-control-brain
How many times do they have to teach the old man his lesson? Inspired by an AU/comic by @birdie-ghost.
robots are so so cute,,,, love is stored in the wires
WHO TOUCHED MY POST
WHO TOUCHED MY FUCKING POST
I’ve been watching Danny Phantom and I get it. I get it now.
This show loves to make some offhanded comment, not a hint of consideration or concern in its tone, and just moves on without addressing it like that wasn’t the most creatively horrific concept this side of Nickelodeon. Shit makes up wackass lore on the spot and then disregards it immediately after, asks fascinating questions then looks at you funny when you try to answer them.
I now fully understand how this show has legions of fans dedicated to taking this somewhat mid cartoon and running so far with the implications of the premise they created an entirely different show that’s so much more interesting I’m upset it’s not real.
FredBear and Gregory are friends! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡
I just wanted to draw Gregory with the plush.
Maybe Gregory wanted a Glamrock Freddy plush but Vanessa was unable to get him one (because they are broke) so she got him one from a garage sale.
oathgrowth
This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.
This text thread brought us into a new age
PSA: bot comments are taking over ao3
The above examples have been provided with the authors' permission to demonstrate what these look like.
Basic rundown:
- They are all 3 sentences long
- Perfect grammar, capitalization, and punctuation
- Like absolutely flawless English teacher-style writing with only a single exclamation mark, ever
- No mentions whatsoever of character names, settings, situations, or anything that could be tied to the story
- The usernames may be identical to people who exist on ao3, but the name is not clickable, and no profile is associated with it EXCEPT when you directly search for that name. What this means: the comments come from an unregistered (not logged in) reader, bots scrape the site for real usernames, attach that to the comment, and post
Please spread the word about this so authors can filter comments and report them accordingly
There has been some speculation about why this is happening at all, and the best guess is that this is a feature that AI-training story-scraping tools are implementing to try and make their browsing traffic look legitimate
what fresh hell is this?
Hey guys? Stop doing this please and thanks. There’s no need to put your rating system in a public bookmark where the author can see it. I don’t care if it’s a good or a bad rating just stop it and keep that shit to yourself.
I didn’t really look at bookmarks until recently cuz I didn’t know people wrote things in there. So I was excited to find the bookmark things and one of the first ones I saw made me sad so yes please don’t do this to your poor authors I will cry
