WRONG. your fake name is Herr Katz. you are a 19th century prussian junker who made their fortune selling curios that tend to bestow curses upon the bearer
my fuckin secret identity........ ach so!
i know the high five was invented in 1977 but i like to think about medieval peasants who tried it out after a good slog in the mud and just didnt tell anybody
Realized I have a naked rat and a small piano
Here's Harry banging out the tunes, April 13th 2023
Thank you, Harry, for banging out the tunes.
mr president there appears to be some dark souls 3 type shit happening in the northeast
Anonymous asked:
hehheheheghegheeeheeee smunkorrrrrrr :)
animal
I just need you to know how hard I was laughing while drawing this.
That wonderful home cooking! #vintage #cottagecore #supertaster #aesthetic #momcore
What did I do to deserve a fate such as this.
girl it was already blazed....naught but embers
what if your were in silent hill and the fog was crazy and you heared footsteps and a weird noise and got scared and ran away and tripped an fell and turned around and the footstepps were louder and i stepped out big fuck bong in my hand water bubbling and i exhaled and the fog was the smoke from how mmany hits from my bong i was taking my eyes are red as fuck i hand you the bong
[Cutscene Triggers] "This town is full of monsters! How can you just stand there smoking that huge simmering bong of weed hitting the bong full inhaling weed of fuck"
Mattie a strip club with three absolutely gorgeous women hanging on him. He's telling a story and they're absolutely rapt. As you get closer you realize that he's describing the plot of Naruto to them as if it's something that happened to a friend of his.
"what happened next?"
"Dahling I'm no gossip, but ive heard through the grapevine that the boy managed to perfect the rasengan."
He doesn't know that Naruto is a show. He thinks Naruto actually happened.
hello there CT. do you have a fursona
My fursona is a leopard moth named Mattie.
His wings are one of those old nightgowns that femme fatales in old noir movies wear, and his proboscis is one of those long cigarettes. He's like 5'1'' and veryone hates him.
He talks with a transatlantic accent like an old movie star and calls everyone "DAHling" and everyone is like "shut the fuck up Mattie you're from like, Encino California."
He's suspiciously wealthy and lives alone in a huge house. People think he has old money or mob connections but he's actually just a software developer for a medical firm or something. He goes to work in the evening gown and heels and everyone fucking hates it.
He goes to the gym just to take selfies. He has a TikTok that's just him in his stupidly expensive kitchen microwaving frozen chicken nuggets from a bag and calling them "gamefowl wellington ensemble"
He mixes Capri Sun with everclear and drinks it out of champagne flutes. He tells people he's a top but he's objectively garbage at sex.
He's like 23. Nobody ever invites him to things he just kinda shows up.
"DAHling, you call these potato skins loaded? Lord this town is really going to the dogs. May I speak to the chef?"
"Ma'am, I mean Sir- this is a Taco Bell."
"Fine, I suppose it'll do." [He tips the cashier 300$, leaves, and immediately gets hit by a car.]