@heroic-poet-blog

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actuates
things aren’t pretty at all. today, i woke up on the wrong side of the bed with a fork jabbed into my throat. i coughed up blood that looked like that one time i didn’t yell ‘FUCK YOU’ at some boy absolutely begging me to bang his brains out.  today, i dipped myself into fire and watched my skin blister and burn. i pondered if i could live my life without my skin- or without my face- or without my body. i mostly wondered if i could live life invisible?  today, i wondered how many men i could get to fuck me. all at once. probably like seventy. i’d rather fuck seventy girls at once though.    today, my lips fell off my face. i was like “whoa what the fuck?” but then they started kissing me everywhere- and damn my lips can kiss better than (Caden?) from last weekends party. today, i experimented with witchcraft. if you’ve pissed me off- you’re cursed, bitch boy. today, i ate my stomach raw. like, without any seasoning. (crazy right?) it tasted okay- mostly like frozen lasagna and a shit load of dark chocolate. But this time, my pride was too massive to choke down- and all of (Cameron’s?) lies were spit up (sorry, I didn’t swallow this time.) today, my skin crawled off of my body and left me bare, just muscle and bone. I stood bloody red, dripping, naked. and then began to run. I decided to chase down every man who ever sent me some disgusting dick pic when all I wanted were kind eyed puppies. Who’s screaming now, (Jonathan?) today, my body said “fuck you” and i said “no, baby please come home” she said “you better love me harder” and i said “baby i won’t do you wrong. i swear it.” today, things got really ugly. today was a war with myself, but today my body came home. things have never been pretty at all. fuck you for expecting my healing to be so poetic. this is my story and i revel in the gory.

unfiltered, raw, fuck you. (via actuates)

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inkskinned

i have this theory that every time we dream, we see an alternate reality. after all, in string theory, all universes exist. i have died many times there. i get déjà vu a lot. i wonder if i am in someone else’s dream, and she has just woken up. maybe she’s screaming at me to stop, to move a little to the left, to watch out. when i wake up i always wonder if i’m the same me or i’ve been replaced by the girl in my dream. if i died there to get a second chance here. or maybe here is where i’m learning how not to die so violently. i don’t know. i don’t get much sleep. 

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I stopped telling myself that I’m lost. I’m not. I’m on a road with no destination, I’m just driving with hope that I’ll find a place that I like and I’ll stay there. I’m not lost, I’m on my way.

Ahunnaya (via help-n-quotes)

Source: help-n-quotes
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helpfvl

I want to be known as someone who’s full of love and radiates light