My Life

Yes

more from Jeffrey Almonte

freshest-tittymilk

Fuck gentrification.

deebott

One this is the most new York thing I’ve ever seen two he looks like cardi b and three HE’S FUCKING RIGHT.

Damn !

Source: twitter.com

Thought you might like it.

GIF by thedragoon-deactivated20200430

Reblog if any of these were your first animes:

GIF by jet-grind

GIF by schreibaby-of-the-skies

GIF by guardiancosmos

GIF by yoshida-midoriko

GIF by junkazama

GIF by retro-anime-collective

GIF by thedragoon-deactivated20200430

falconpunchyourmom

The founding fathers of anime in America.

a-tribe-called-tress

Yasss like at least three of them was clutch as fuck for me

Ronan Warriors, Yu Yu Hakusho, and DBZ changed my life

zionsun

❤❤

ori-ebon

Yu Yu Hakusho, DBZ, Cowboy Bebop

dragonsandbutts-deactivated2018

IF YOU NEED TO CALL 911 BUT ARE SCARED TO BECAUSE OF SOMEONE IN THE ROOM, dial and ask for a pepperoni pizza. They will ask if you know you’re calling 911. Say yes, and continue pretending you’re making an order. They’ll ask if there’s someone in the room.

You can ask how long it will take for the pizza to get to you, and they will tell you how far away a dispatcher is.

Here is an example video

Reblog to literally save a life

anotherdayforchaosfay

I’ve done this. I’m alive because of this.

My flat-mate’s date for the night was almost as drunk as her. She had passed out in her room and locked the door. He refused to leave because he wanted to have sex. He also demanded food because he was dealing with “whiskey dick”. He didn’t like the lack of food in the fridge. I called 911, did the stuff stated above, and he was getting PISSED about how long the “order” was taking. He took my phone, demanded they “hurry the fuck up”. Police arrived two minutes later, arrested him, and helped me file a police report. Pressing charges wasn’t necessary because he had warrants on him from THREE different states for the very thing he planned to do to me. Several months after this happened one of the officers informed me he was charged with two felonies because he crossed stay lines, and will be serving no less than 35 years in prison. The officer ripped into my flat-mate about her bringing home complete strangers, while drunk, knowing full well this shit could happen.

This was 14 years ago.

Do the pizza order, do it as calmly as you can. The dispatcher I spoke to said things like this:

“If he’s drunk say you want mushrooms.” I said I want extra mushrooms.

“If he’s threatening you with sexual assault say you want onions.” I said I want onions.

She went like this with different toppings and sauces for a description of him, like pineapple if he’s blonde, black olives if he’s tall, extra large if he’s tall, etc.

They’ve heard this sort of coded call before. They’re trained for it. They will understand what you’re saying. Order the pizza.

Why is this no taught in school…

How To Get A Job Fast As Hell

@owenabbott

Apply to a job, wait (1) day, then call. Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application.
When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly, tell them your first and last name.
Describe your experiences as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years] costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.
Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.” “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”
When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now).
Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.
When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy.
If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)

Questions for after the interview:

1. Does this position offer upward mobility?

2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)

Then, shake their hand, Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it.
AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices.
DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone. In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate.

__________

The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com and Simplyhired.

Data Entry:

Front Desk:

Other jobs you don’t need a degree for that aren’t retail:

Dental hygenist ( yeah, seriously, who knew!) They also make about 40,000 a year)
Stenographer-Court Reporter
Surveyer ( you need a certificate for this, but its something you can get while working a temporary job and doing this on the side. Also, they make like $55,000 a year sooooooo) https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWEbHost/jobdetails.aspx?jobId=1406428&PartnerId=16023&SiteId=5118&codes=IND
Real Estate Broker
Purchasing agents, except wholesale, retail, and farm products ( basically you arrange to buy large things) they make like 60K
Claims adjuster
Loan Officer
Subway driver (trains) they make like 60K,
Duct Cleaner: http://jobview.monster.com/Duct-Cleaners-950-00-Weekly-Entry-Level-Flexible-Hours-Call-to-Apply-Job-Chicago-IL-US-161970321.aspx?intcid=re

I knew this but I’m reblogging cause someone might not know

I’m saving this.

you can’t become a dental hygienist without a degree lmao

jehovahhthickness

^^^^

Can all the black men who love black women and vice versa reblog this so we can find each other?

amberporcelain

GIF by chrispecoraillustration

I love my black kings, hope y'all love my black ass back ❤

foodnetworkruinedmylife

Chopped drinking game

1 drink if:

- three males and one female

- someone says something along the lines of “I’m too good for this ingredient"

- someone garnishes with citrus

- someone fries an ingredient for a garnish

- multiple chefs make the same type of dish

- only one person knows how to correctly prepare the ingredient

- someone forgets a basket ingredient until the last minute

- someone leaves off a basket ingredient

- an italian pronounces everything in a thick accent

- salad in the appetizer round

- ice cream in the dessert round

- someone panics over their baked dessert not cooking

- someone attempts to make a risotto

- someone talks about chopping something up and then cuts themself

- a competitor “has overcome a lot of obstacles and is not going to let this one take them down”

- “get it on the plate”

- sriracha

- “I’m looking down at my dish and I’m feeling good”

- a judge asks someone if they tasted their dish and they didn’t

2 drinks if:

- alex and scott are sitting next to each other

- a dessert isnt sweet enough for amanda

3 drinks if:

- scott conant’s chest hair is showing

- ted allen says “be well”

- someone describes food as “sexy” (+1 if it’s scott conant)

finish your drink if:

- that one asshole that you were rooting against wins

badfoodnetworkpuns

How to die during a single episode of chopped

Aye slim. Alcohol poisoning is too real to play like this.

Omg 😩

@pettypia omg we’d be so fucked up let’s try this.

Going to try this

Everyone Who Reblogs This Will Get A Titty Pic

Let See How This Goes 🤔 lol I’m only sending one each and it can’t be an old recycled pic.

ogsplendapapi

You by no means need to follow thru on sending me one… I just needed to say that if you pull this off I’m gonna be hella impressed @anyaithesaiyan

kingjaffejoffer

I respect it

queenciityconfidential

You aint taking no 3k tiddy pics

Challenged excepted 😂 give me 2 weeks from today (November 24th)and let’s see if I can take 3K titty pics 🤔

Awesome

Everyone Who Reblogs This Will Get A Titty Pic

Let See How This Goes 🤔 lol I’m only sending one each and it can’t be an old recycled pic.

hawkeyes484

I better get one.

You better get not a damn mf thing talking like that. Be nice

Can't wait for the goodness yo arrive like Christmas

harlemradiorema-deactivated2019

www.instagram.com

Facts

#inmyfeelings #nd #imgoingthere #tonight (at New York, New York)

Truth

if teenagers are ever being mean to you just pull out any miscellaneous item you have on you at the moment and make up some bullshit term to scare them

teenagers: we are going to punch you me *pulling out spoon*: have you lot ever been Uncle Jimmied

teenagers: we are going to kick you me *pulling out an electric toothbrush*: have you all ever experienced a Norwegian Christmas…

teenagers: we are going to unlawfully take your money me *taking car keys out of my pocket*: say, have any of you ever had a Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch…….

teenagers: we are going to call you mean names me *taking Costco brand pair of socks out of my purse*: it’s been a while since i gave someone a Tropic Of Capricorn………….

teenagers: we’re violent just for the fun of it ! me *microwaving a hard-boiled egg*: you’re all about to get a Matthew Broderick Jr.

teenagers: we are going to spread rumors about you me *getting out my tube of rash cream*: don’t force me to give you a Chinese Whistling Garden

teenagers: we are about to physically assault you me *pulling out cantaloupe*: seems like you rapscallions have never heard of the Screaming Astronaut

teenagers: we are going to commit felonies me *pulling out handfuls of spaghetti*: I’m sorry you all have to experience the Kansas Turnpike …

teenagers: i am preparing to steal an automotive vehicle me *taking out a roll of dental floss*: keep this sort of behavior up and you’re going to get the Rick Astley’s Crochet

teenagers: i plan to do acts of physical hooliganism! me *takes a Bop It out of my pocket*: I don’t normally do this but I’ll enjoy giving you a North Carolina Senator G.K. Butterfield

ierohero

if theres a day i dont reblog this assume i died

Too funny

Share Share Share: Go Checkout the Hottest Boudoir, and Spoken Word Website at Www.Poetrystudios.com

gentle-fluidity

U ever look at someone and just think man I want to treat you like no one else has

soniadiazflores

Transition Words For Your Essays

Transition Signals:

Transitions are words and phrases that connect ideas and show how they are related.

To repeat and ideas just stated:

In other words,
That is,
To repeat,
Again,

To illustrate an idea:

For example,
For instance,
In particular,
To illustrate,
In this manner,
Thus,

To announce a contrast, a change in direction:

Yet,
However,
Still,
Nevertheless,
On the other hand,
In contrast,
Instead of,
On the contrary,
Conversely,
Notwithstanding,
In spite of this,

Time:

At once,
In the interim,
At length,
Immediately,
At last,
Meanwhile,
In the meantime,
Presently,
At the same time,
Shortly,
In the end,
Temporarily,
Thereafter,

To restate an idea more precisely:

To be exact,
To be specific,
To be precise,
More specifically,
More precisely,

To mark a new idea as an addition to what has been said:

Similarly,
Also,
Too,
Besides,
Furthermore,
Further,
Moreover,
In addition,

To show cause and effect:

As a result,
For this reason,
Thereafter,
Hence,
Consequently,
Accordingly,

Conclusion:

In short,
To conclude,
In brief,
On the whole,
In summary,
To sum up,

savageapprentice

Important

jamblasian

Reblogging again bc I need this at the moment

thehighpriestofreverseracism

jjsupremacy

theblacksophisticate

THIS is a read! My god, YES!!!

dagsdfDASFDHGF THIS IS PERFECT AS FUCK.

P.o.c. white people 100 -100

I just put my fist in the air after that read. Lord.

its so hilarious to me that we’re so inferior yet everybody wants our shit.

We’re so inferior that everyone wants to incorporate AAVE, twerking, and “hip hop beats” into their daily life to seem cool.

White people love us on the sly but they don’t want to shift the balance of power or the limelight by openly admitting it.

unsexybeast

THE

LIBRARY IS MOTHERFUCKING

CLOSED

GOD BE PRAISED!

If you are black or hate ignorance reblog this

BLACK POWER.

My heart is so happy after reading this

#Blackout

ur-not-my-average-taco

This was so beautifully written tho🙌🏾

bytemybiscuit

THE CHURCH FAN ! lmao

Bruh the church fan for real 😂

I’ve seen this post a million times on my dash and I say thank you each timw

I never knew libraries opened on Easter.

GIF by gif-weenus

harlemradiorema-deactivated2019

www.instagram.com

Lol facts this he’d to be me

#classic go follow my show @thebigskweeze #thebigskweezelive #Cantmakethisshitup #RANDOMTHOUGHT #funny #live #lhhny #lhhatl (at East Harlem El Barrio Nyc)