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We meet up every ten years, swap cave stories.

@hermitsunitedofficial

They/them
If you know me irl no you don’t
Not a minor
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catmask

cafes as a concept are like. brilliant. u put something that smells nice (coffee and pastries) and you get to eat them and the inside is soft lighting (autism) and they play quiet music (autism) or theyre bright and have big windows with pretty natural lighting (autism) and they play upbeat music and you can wear cute outfits to them and not worry it will get messed up because the menu is not messy foods and its usually foods with similar ingredients (autism) and the drinks are built in a pattern thats repeated across cafes (autism) so even if youre somewhere unfamiliar you can figure out what youll like safely. and sometimes their are CATS THERE. and even GAY PEOPLE

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catmask

oh yes also you can socialize (autistically) by bringing a fun activity or work and still sit near people so you dont feel lonely but also everyone works parallel to eachother and is niceys and doesnt bother you.

🔥 THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT STARBUCKS 💥🔥

“afab chests aren’t inherently sexu—” please say breasts please just say breasts please please please stop throwing the term “afab” around say tatas say titties say big bahoona bazingoroos if you must

not to be that guy but if you’re talking about breasts, say breasts. if you’re talking about pregnancy, say pregnancy. you don’t have to bend over backwards coming up with wacky shit like “uterus-having pregnancy-carrier” or “afab presenting nipples” to be more inclusive. half the time, it’s not inclusive anyway. so just be specific. a person with breasts can simply be “a person with breasts.” it’s easy, it’s fun, it’s free

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froody

I don’t think humans should be living in studio apartments or little one bedroom apartments you can barely turn around in. It’s like how the minimum tank size requirement for a betta fish is technically 2.5 gallons but you’re a monster if you put them in anything less than 5 gallons. I think people deserve at least one extra room in their house.

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froody

I get wanting to avoid urban sprawl, wanting to use space efficiently or whatever but goddamn. You should have space for potted plants, for a pullout couch for when your mother comes to visit, space to pursue your hobbies. I don’t think that’s a greedy thing to want.

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froody

I see some of the apartments listed in NYC and it’s like. that should be illegal. I’ve seen snakes with enclosures bigger than that

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yurifies

hello fandom person. before you stands a female character and directly above you hangs an anvil. your test is to describe the character's personality without using the words 'girlboss' and any variant of 'mother' at any point otherwise the anvil will drop. good luck.

“Mom, there’s someone under the bed.” You bend down and see your son there instead and he whispers “Mom that’s not me up there!” You take a step back when someone tugs your shirt. You turn, your son is in the closet asking “who are they?” You suddenly hear him calling from downstairs “Mommy?”

You sigh, raising your voice so that all of your sons can hear you. “All right, everyone into the kitchen. Now.” Hearing a shuffle in the attic, you add, “Yes, Duncan, that includes you.”

You don’t see any movement as you go down the stairs, but you’re used to that. You know they’ll all be there by the time you walk through the kitchen door.

As usual, your children have all fitted themselves into the kitchen. The dimensions of the room are a little wobbly with so many of them present, but you’ve long ago learned to ignore how the laws of physics only occasionally apply to them. A host of little faces look up at you anxiously, and you smile gently.

“It’s okay, none of you are in trouble,” you reassure them. They relax - and how astonishing is it, that they trust you so much? You’re so proud of their progress.

One, however, still looks nervous. You beckon him forward, and he comes reluctantly, shoved by his identical older brothers.

“Are you new?” you ask carefully.

He nods, and you drop to one knee. “It’s okay, sweetie,” you tell him firmly. “I love all of my sons, even ones I haven’t met before. Ask your brothers, they’ll tell you.”

“’m here because I heard you were nice,” he says in a tiny voice.

You open your arms, offering a hug but waiting to let him decide whether he wants one. This child must have seen hugs before, because he flings himself into your arms and starts crying. That’s good. Some of your sons are traumatised from what they’ve seen, knowing more slaps than kisses.

Eventually, the sobs dry up, your other kids patiently waiting for your attention again. “Why do we look like this?” he asks, curious.

“Because this is what the first of you looked like - Wilson, where are you?”

A hand raises from the crowd and waves energetically.

“Wilson took on my son’s form to play Child or Double. Calling from downstairs when my son was in bed, getting tucked in when the child I bore was playing out in the garden. Once I figured it out, I hugged him and told him that as far as I was concerned, I now had twins. It took him some time before he believed me.”

Wilson shrugs unrepentantly.

“When my son died, Wilson stayed. It helped, having one of my sons with me while I grieved. Then another of you began to turn up, and I had twins again. Then more. Until now, when I have more of you than will technically fit in my kitchen.” You give your sons a look of motherly disapproval, but they only giggle. They know you don’t mind.

“It’s not like you need to feed us!” calls out one of your bolder sons. Eric, probably. Your newest, unnamed child looks up hesitantly, then steps out of your arms to join his brothers. Lucas might be a nice name, you think idly. You don’t have a Lucas yet.

“That does help,” you admit. You put steel into your next words. “However, there are Rules in this house, and one of them is no messing around at bedtime. I know that bedtime is a traditional time for the Child or Double game, but four of you is pushing it.”

You’d say more, but there’s a knock at your back door. You turn to answer it, knowing that your sons will have evaporated before your fingers grasp the handle, and brace against the cold night air as you pull the door open.

Two identical little girls stand there. One has a bruise on her cheek, and has clearly been crying recently. The other - the other is a Doubler, just like your sons. After this long, you can tell the difference.

“Please,” the Doubler says, and her voice trembles on the word. “Please. She needs somewhere to stay.”

Part of you is shocked, already looking ahead to the potential legal issues. The rest of you is all mother, and you whisk her into the nice warm kitchen and get her a glass of water.

Your son’s bed will be occupied by someone else tonight. You think he’d have been okay with that.

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thyrell

elon musk had a third child with grimes that he kept secret until the release of his biography. he named it techno mechanicus

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thyrell

can you imagine being an adult nepo baby at a company your rich dad invested in and having to walk into the boardroom first day like. hi everyone. my name is techno mechanicus

I can tell this is fake because "techno mechanicus" doesn't start with X

OH SON OF A BITCH

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

i need all the help i can get for finals

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finnglas

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

Give salary increase and wfh plz

Would really enjoy work stability

I, a hearing person who likes subtitles just as a preference, shouldn't have to read a subtitle that's obvious nonsense, go back a couple seconds, and listen again in order to figure out what's going on. An accessibility feature should not be the most half-assed part of a professionally made production. Scripted media has absolutely no excuse for not having subtitles or having subtitles that aren't perfectly verbatim. Professional captioning services should be ashamed of the shoddy work that they put out. Captions should be treated as a part of the production, just like filming, editing, audio balancing, etc - and anything that releases with missing or bad captions should be seen as unfinished

i'm AWARE this is a stupid hill to die on, but like. trope vs theme vs cliché vs motif vs archetype MATTERS. it matters to Me and i will die on this hill no matter how much others decide it's pointless. words mean things

trope: 1) the use of figurative language for artistic effect; includes allegories, analogies, hyperbole, & metaphors, among others. 2) commonly reoccurring literary devices, motifs, or clichés. Includes things like the medieval fantasy setting, the Dark Lord, enemies-to-lovers, and the Chosen One.

theme: the reoccurring idea or subject in a work of art. Death, life, rebirth, change, love, what it means to be human, the definition of family, the effects of war, etc.

cliché: an element of an artistic work that has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, even becoming annoying or irritating. (Most clichés are tropes but not all tropes are clichés.)

motif: a distinctive repeating feature or idea, such as the green light in The Great Gatsby. May overlap with tropes and is often used to further explore the theme.

archetype: a constantly-recurring symbol or motif; it refers to the recurrence of characters or ideas sharing similar traits throughout various, seemingly unrelated cases in classic storytelling. E.g. rags to riches, the wise old mentor. Again may overlap with tropes, clichés, and motifs, but they're not the exact same thing.

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puru2

the state of tiktok skits about having a rude customer is getting out of control i just saw one from a pharmacist and the whole skit was like someone comes in and goes “you shorted me on pills” and the pharmacist goes “no we didn’t you can see on the prescription it said to give you this many” and the patient goes “well i usually get more so i’m gonna call my doctor about this” like how is that customer being unreasonable or a karen or whatever

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puru2

but the whole skit was about pain meds and we all know if someone wants more pain meds it’s bc they’re a lying addict trying to scam you and not just someone who’s confused bc their doctor made a mistake so it’s ok to post skits on tiktok portraying them as a villain for wanting the medication that was prescribed to them

Karen is quickly becoming one of those terms that's lost all meaning, like so many before it.

Like. You ask me to define "Karen" and I'd say it's the lady today who said she wanted a chicken sandwich then threw a fit when I told her we've never served chicken but could do a turkey burger, calling me stupid, insisting we've always given her chicken before, then insisting she speak with the manager (which is me).

Meanwhile, my 16 year old sister was telling me about a Karen at her work (she works in a really nice retirement home) who was a lady who asked for no sugar in her tea, was given sweet tea, and then explained she couldn't drink it because she was diabetic and it might kill her. "Like, she was such a bitch," my sister said, "She wouldn't even drink it! Told me to send it back and get her a new one!" Which, like, maybe it's because I'm old now, but if I messed up someone's drink and they had a medical condition that kept them from drinking that drink, they're not the bad guy in that situation. The proper response is to fix it, but my sister's been raised by her phone and is on TikTok all the time and thinks that "Karen" and "mild inconvenience" are the same thing.

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susiephone

Also, even if there isn't a medical reason, politely asking for a mistake to be corrected is fine??? Like there's no medical reason I can't drink sweet tea, I just don't like the taste. But if I order unsweet tea and get sweet tea, I don't think it's unreasonable of me to ask for what I ordered! As long as someone is polite, understanding that mistakes happen, and understanding when sometimes it just can't be corrected ("We don't have unsweetened tea" "Oh OK, I'll take water instead") then what's the problem??

What a bitch, complaining about *checks notes* almost being fatally poisoned

i wish more people were aware the vast majority of crisis lines have the power to call the police and will call the police on you if you express that you’re suicidal because i see crisis lines being spread all the time in leftist spaces but most people don’t add the information about police and i think that can be really dangerous. it’s fucked up that crisis lines can do that and i really fucking hate it and i wish that it was more widespread knowledge so that people could make informed choices about the resources they access. 

here’s a post with alternative lines that don’t call the cops.

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manywinged

i think banishment is the funniest possible spell you can cast on someone. like i'm not even going to fight you. YOU'RE going to leave. you have no choice.

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manywinged

a guy i banished to the desert 10 years ago finally tracks me down after years of plotting his revenge and i immediately banish him to the desert again