kate

dead as hell!!

i will never love again (-:

you fucking suck

it’s going to hurt me to say this, but loving you is worse

being mentally unwell, you’re neither here or there.

it’s like your whole being, just takes up one part of you, not all.

it’s like being your heart, trapped in a cage. having to fight off all other beings, and / or bodies.

like me, i feel like all i am, my being is just my heart. i think, i feel, i see.. all from my heart.

and even though, i am what controls all of the body i am in, and the other organs. none of it is connected.

i cannot control anything other than what i am limited to.

once i see/hear/feel something, it’s like my heart sends out a trigger, everything goes into autopilot and i am turned off.

it’s like im not really there, like im just a voice in this body.

it’s like not feeling real.

i’m not real, my feelings aren’t real, my thoughts aren’t real, people around me aren’t real.

i cant even say i feel out of control, i feel like im not me, im not a thing.

it’s like i’m drowning but there’s no water, there isn’t a body.

it’s just the voice that i am in a shell that i have no control of

i have strange relationship with happiness

tear drops on my pillowcase, you pull me into your embrace and i push away.

no comfort in the chaos.

you’re oblivious of the damage you embedded in my heart and in my head.

head to toes, you tickle my nose.

playfulnesses to hide your unfaithfulness.

1, 2, 3.. how many lies can you see?

4, 5, 6.. will my mind be at ease?

7, 8, 9.. please don’t hide from me.

hello? can you hear me?

*knock knock knock*

i wanna play!!

i don’t know, maybe some other day.

ׁ ˳  ୨୧   🧿🦋  ..  (beginner witch)  ꕀ  ۟ .   ✻

chase atlantic fan !   ꒰⑅ᵔ·͈ ·͈ᵔ꒱ ♡︎

  ⁺𓈒   ಎ     🧙🏻‍♀️🔮 she/her  .  19 ✿ ₊˚

turning in circles !!

1.. 2.. 3..

can you count on me?

yeah, unfortunately you can. i’d never want to disappoint anyone whom loves me, right? maybe. if me being my happiest or healthiest fills you with disappointment, is it love? do you love me? maybe i’m not reliable when it doesn’t benefit me, is that wrong of me? am i a horrible because you serve no purpose in my life? or do you? i guess toxic positivity is something.. good or bad, you’re here? right? you’re here. the only thing that left was your love, support, respect. but you never left me, but i disappoint you? is that why those parts of you left? did i do this to myself? guilty pessimist.