back by unpopular demand: me

and that's the entire caption backlog uploaded! there are still some that i think are a little too risque for tumblr, so if you wanna see those they're on my twitter (lol, lmao), or up on my cohost. cohost.org/janeisapornaddict :3

you were surprised when she asked you out; what would a gorgeous, composed, kind woman like her want with you? you were sooo anxious on your date, and you were worried you blew it... but she never seemed upset, and even invited you back to her place!~

(art by 10eki (tenchou)!)

your girlfriend has been acting really weird... is there something you forgot to do? you haven't been showering, but that wouldn't be enough to turn your gf into a drooling, hip-twitching, fleshlight for your unwashed nerd dick, right?~

(Chun-Li art by alamander_arts!)

you were shut up in your room trying to read manga in peace when your bitchy gyaru roommate burst in! hopefully she doesn't bully you for any of the pathetic, pervy things you're reading...~

(art by yanyo (ogino atsuki)!)

(cw: dark, mention of bone breaking!)

no good deed goes unpunished! these two flashy girls freaked when you tried to return their lost purses, and their boyfriends put you in the hospital! now you're totally helpless, when you hear familiar voices...~

(art by doskoinpo!)

haha this is such a sick april fool's day joke bro i dressed up as a sexy maid just to mess with you bro haha it totally worked you're all flustered and stuff it's so funny bro

(art by shiohara shinogi!)

before you got isekai'd, you never really had much luck with girls, since you were *obviously* a loser... but now it looks like your prissy bitch elf party member might actually have a thing for useless virgins like you~

(art by jagaimo!)

ast NNN caption of the year! if you've made it all the way to the last day, congrats! you're basically home free... but Samus has a little proposition for you~

(art by jamorbital!)

your girlfriend has a surprise in store for you, as a reward for getting almost to the end of NNN! just try not to completely ruin it by being a quickshot loser...~

(art by handplug!)

oh wow, you've almost made it to the end of No Nut November! that's soooo impressive! especially when your roommate is a slutty, teasing bitch... buuut you're not quite there yet... can you survive the challenge she has in store for you?~

(art by jagaimo!)

you try to discipline your lazy neko maid into doing some work for once, but really, you both know who's in control here...~

(art by kurocaze!)

awkward, fumbling, antisocial virgins with bubbly extroverted childhood friends who *constantly* tease them is a very good dynamic imo,,

(art by joyride!)

Devil hunting is serious work, and Makima can't afford to have you distracting the team with all your whining about being a virgin... she'll find a way to help you with that, one way or another~

(art by JMB!)

you were on your way home from a Halloween party when this weirdo girl jumped out from a dark alley to give you a spook! once you got over the shock, you realised that there's something... off about her costume~

(Hex Maniac would totally do this imo)

(art by Miyazero!)

when you hired your cold, bitchy kuudere maid, it was a dream come true! you could write anything in her contract, and she *had* to do it! unfortunately you've realised that you're too weak to handle most of it... shame she takes her "duties" so seriously~

(art by lunatic!)

you thought that selling your soul to a succubus would at least be a guaranteed way to finally lose your v-card, but... well, it seems as if losers like you really just can't catch a break, huh?~

(art by yano mitsuki!)

last night, your gf told you she'd cheated on you. she couldn't stop blushing, and her breath hitched whenever she talked about the sex...~ now, you've run into the homewrecking bitch who fucked your gf! you're totally gonna stand up to her... right?~

(art by rampage0118!)

for a useless, NEET shut-in like you, having a maid is a dream come true! but something has been bugging her lately... maybe it's because you can't help staring and stroking for her?~ uh oh, she's looking over here... i wonder what she has to say to you~

(art by punopupupu!)

it's hard being an adventurer's companion! you've idolised Tifa for sooo long, and now you actually get to work with her you... keep totally embarrassing yourself by getting hard over her~ but she doesn't seem to mind... in fact, she totally enjoys teasing you~

(art by kajinman!)