So I got called into jury duty…
And I was put in the seat instantly, of course. I said, “your honor, I can’t be a juror on a two week trial, I have opera rehearsal.” And she said, “opera huh, well, sing something for us.”
And I did. In a federal court of law, in front of the judge, 75 jurors, the lawyers and the fucking DEFENDANT, I sang o mio babbino caro.
And the judge excused me.
illegitimate-businessman
slytherpuff666
YO I DIDNT EMBARRASS MYSELF IN FEDERAL COURT SO YALL CAN DOUBT ME.
I know a lot of opera singers, and singing a full-on aria in a court room with only a hint of provocation is EXACTLY what they would do.
I know a lot of judges, and demanding an impromptu opera solo on a whim is also something they would do.
(And also one of the main reasons you can be excused from jury duty is economic hardship–basically, it would cause you unreasonable financial damage. If you’re a professional singer, a two week gap in your rehearsal schedule could do that for sure.)
As a muso, I absolutely believe this. I’ve got my accordion out of my carry-on and played a tune when airport security couldn’t recognise its weird mass of levers. Singers and musicians are just Like That.
Accurate.
theactualcluegirl
My friend got stopped at the Canadian border coming back into the US. Border patrol took one look at his tattoed, ear-gagued, mutton chop wearing, hipster self, and said “I don’t believe you’re an opera singer. Sing something for me.” His wife immediately put down her knitting and plugged her ears, because Matt’s a contrabasso, and he does NOT sing quietly. Every other booth along the border stop had a head poking out of it within twenty seconds. And they let them pass without further contest.
The unwillingness of some people to believe that literally anything remotely interesting happens in other people’s lives is truly astounding.
maximum-marrs
Can we all please just take a moment to appreciate that OP’s url is literally @melodramaticsoprano and yet she still was doubted?
This cat is so, so friendly and stoked to be there, though! Look at all the leaning and rubbing on people and things, the upright question mark tail; this is a very cuddly cat who wants attention, lmao. 💜
I've been on a White People Expedition Diary kick recently. I see why Lovecraft was fucking obsessed with this as a framing device, they are insanely compelling.
July 17th, 1884: "Food supplies are low. The Dutchman has eaten so many dog livers that he is now hallucinating from vitamin A poisoning, which is a thing that can happen apparently."
July 18: "We kicked that faggy Austrian botanist into a ravine. Lmao. Had a lovely bath."
July 19th 1884: "The Dutchman has been confined to the sled. We have sacrificed our belts to restrain his movements, lest we lose another Austrian to his Poop Madness."
July 20th 1884: "The men are demanding I leave behind my bathtub. I will not."
vintage 1970s one of a kind custom galaxy boots, originally bought from a place called ‘rainbow cobbler’ in north beach sf
This is precisely why I love conventions
the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal
Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids
NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP
While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive
alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife
im going INSANE thats MY POST.
It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.
not for nothing but "chastity until marriage" and "lifelong strict monogamy" is every bit as much kink as piss or free use or knotting is. we just don't call it that because those weirdly specific and highly fetishized sexual practices are institutionalized and considered normative.
what are traditional catholic values if not just an overly elaborate and widely accepted version of a breeding kink
this is what happens when you name your pokemon before you know what it evolves into.
she still baby tho…
Pokemon Heritage Post
okay but this is a power move above any other
hoseph-christiansen
It gets even better, because he was doing all of this on a pitch black night. This dude swam towards a lure, slapped at it with his glove, and when it got caught; he let himself float and tugged on the line so the fisherman thought he had hooked a 100+ pound salmon. Once he was finally up to the shore, he turned a flashlight on in the guy’s face and walked out of the water, saying “good morning, gentlemen. State fish and game warden, you’re under arrest.“
At this point, the guy who had reeled him in had literally fallen over in shock, and the other people with him were scared shitless. The warden whipped some citations out of a plastic bag in his wetsuit, made the trespassers sign them, asked if they had any questions, and then gathered all of their fishing gear. And he just. Walked back into the river. And quietly swam away, without another word.
This man is a legend.
warden coming out of his river to shame fishermankind
ok I take back what I’ve said about contemporary art. This is amazing.
villainous-queer-deactivated202
THIS is what art is about. I bitch about modern art a lot but the problem I have is that most of it (and I've worked in a museum and been an art student) is bullshitting. It is only sometimes you get shit like this, that is 0% bullshit and 100% raw screaming emotion that is demanding you LISTEN and FEEL and CONFRONT. This is art. This is what art is about. Are you mad? Are you horrified? Are you uncomfortable? GOOD.
[Image description: a photo of the exhibit and the description.
The exhibit shows a plugged in white box fan enclosed in a clear box.
It is by John Boskovich (1956-2006) and titled “Electric Fan (Feel it Motherfuckers); Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate, 1997.” It is made from an electric fan encased in Plexiglas with vinyl faux etching and Plexiglas base with casters. It was a gift of the artist in memory of Stephen Earabino, 2000.12. The description says “Soon after the death of his lover Stephen Earabino from AIDS, Los Angeles conceptual artist Boskovich discovered that Earabino’s family had completely cleared out his apartment, including the artist’s possessions, save for the electric box fan in this work. An entire person, existence, and relationship had been erased, like so many were during the AIDS crisis. Boskovich encased the fan in Plexiglas as a kind of evidence and added cutouts to allow its circulated air to escape and be felt by the viewer, almost like an exhalation. In a sense restoring Earabino’s breath, at least as a facsimile in memoriam, Boskovich makes a tender and brokenhearted gesture toward some form of eternal life.”
End image description]
Before I… crack them open?
....before you put them in here:
the water cup even comes with a little needle at the bottom for hole-poking purposes, see:
sorry i meant boil not cook
WHAT IS THAT
It's an egg cooker!
It's like a toaster and an electric kettle had a baby and ...the baby boils eggs.
#is this specifically a German thing#because Germans tend to have Opinions about eggs#also the only people I know who actually know how to use an egg cup are German#teach me your ways - I still don’t understand why you’d use an egg cup. and I can’t imagine boiling eggs not in a pot on the stove
no egg cup:
egg cup:
#why is the wobble an issue you pick them up one at a time shell then and eat them like not whole but just#you hold them and bite them and eat then till there's none left? why does this need extra tools
...at this point i'm sorry to introduce...the egg spoon.
Even better news about German egg related gadgets… the Eierköpfer (it also has a super long German name), for when you need a guillotine to open your egg neatly
No offence to Germany but why are you guys so fucking insane
nothing to see here. Just normal feelings about egg.
In case you think the writers on strike aren't making good use of their time, think no more!
Only click the read more if you're fully prepared. I'm taking no responsibility past this point.
Even if that second image is true (and I doubt it), the towers were hit by two 767s. That's 100% more damage than just one. And 81% more than a single 707.
i feel so bad whenever the alphabet completionist guy shows up on a post and the post is so close to getting all the letters. like if it were me i would throw in a "quiz" or a "xylophone" or a "veracity" just for that guy. who cares if the post doesn't make sense 100%ing the alphabet matters more.
violator of the spirit 🫵
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
26/26
