tatyana alanis

abandonment issues are sooooo funny. "i'm scared people will leave me so i push them away first to avoid being hurt" girl the prophecy is self fulfilling!!! the sabotage is coming from within!!! you forgot about the cycle!!!!!!!!!

"if you tell people they should leave you alone then they'll leave you alone" ummm actually if they love me enough they'll stay. this time for sure.

...what

Bunny Heritage Post

once when i was 9 in animal crossing wild world i sent a breakup letter to jeremiah telling him it was over because i found someone new…. that was better than him. i told him i was in love with Crazy Redd now and that he couldnt compete cuz “hes a kitsune and youre just a frog.”

so eventually jeremiah moved to my friend’s town…. only i didnt know that villagers will show old letters. so then one day i get a goddamn phone call. an actual goddamn phone call. from my friend and she says: “hey, i saw your letter about dating crazy redd–” and i hung up on her instantly.

Friend: Hey I saw your letter–

OP:

IT WAS EXACTLY LIKE THIS ACTUALLY you know when you like panic and your eyes unfocus? It looks exactly like this.

There’s a tornado warning out (two, technically), so of course I went for a walk outside to see if I could spot it.  Never have I seen so many of my neighbors at one time, when there wasn’t a firework show or a picnic.

There was a tornado warning and a bunch of people gathered outside to set off fireworks. I wish I was kidding.

How cool would it be to shoot fireworks into a tornado?

and also, you know .. he has three kids who need a roof over their heads ... but don't you forget about those petty reasons !!

#spill the tea donald #the guy manhandling donald is kinda hot

^This. This right here is why I love tumblr so damned much. Where else could I find a milieu that ties together pop culture intersecting with social criticism, transformational creativity, tongue-in-cheek comedy, some solid artistic technique (especially for the comics medium), socioeconomic commentary that’s barely even satire these days, and the friggin’ beautifully hilarious mess that is human sexuality?

i was thinking of a way to talk about @micaxiii's tags X'D

thank you for that commentary, that is very sweet of you!

but also have some more of scrooge's sexy goon

The Crafty Clipper

Dont Trust This Thing

HeHeHeheheHeehehehee

Yesterday night a lady came through our drive through and was like “the way the planets are aligning and the fact that we’re getting a blood moon has me worried. I sense severe werewolf activities on the horizon. You better walk your coworker to her car tonight after you’ve closed” and I didn’t even know what to say I was just like “yes ma’am”

You heard that and just went <END DIALOGUE>

i would be their third

i've had enough of this site

english flower names are so evocative. snapdragon. wolfsbane. even as loanwords they're still pretty; dandelion traces back to old french for "lion's tooth". meanwhile the actual french word for dandelion means piss-the-bed

This isn’t TikTok, Facebook or Twitter.

A 4th century CE statue of Aphroditos. Her cock wards off evil spirits. Reblog to rid your blog of evil spirits.

Official Aphrodite’s Cock Post (It Wards Off Evil Spirits)

agamemnon was killed with a sword vs agamemnon was killed with an axe…… neither of these are correct. the only source i trust is this etruscan funerary urn where agamemnon is killed by clytemnestra bashing him on the head with a chair

How to tell a deaf dog it's time for a walk.

I wasn’t ready

bear sign language!

good morning tumblr it’s overcast and cold as fuck with a chance of um. the skull

meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you. meows at you.

OKAY.

obsessed with this person who thinks that im monopolizing the notes industry and taking them away from "real artists." like. hello

spot the tiktok intruder class 101

Is someone one gonna put that food in the bowl???????????????????

Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.

Monster that feeds on suffering becomes a professional caretaker for people with chronic pain and terminal illnesses. They can't change the fact that these people are suffering, but they help a bit and in the meantime they're fat and happy off that Sweet Sweet ambient pain in the air.

Two towns over there's a demon lord trying to get their cult to abduct people for torture, but they keep getting stopped by heroes and the like, so they're barely scraping by. Meanwhile Belogarth the Registered PCA is chowing down on back pain, medication side effects and looming mortality for eight hours a day and has become the most powerful demon on earth without realizing it.

"But don't their clients feel weird knowing that they're feeding off their suffering?" No they think it's hilarious and they're real shits about it.

It's a form of spiritual husbandry. Like how you get more milk from a cow if you take good care of it than if you kill it.

If "Life is suffering," a demon who feeds off suffering must love life.

Another thought: If someone is suffering, and a demon eats that suffering, that implies that the suffering is (temporarily, at least) alleviated.

"I've been depressed for months, but then a demon ate my sorrow and worry, and I feel so much better now."

I was just thinking about this! Like with things that eat nightmares - the nightmare gets consumed, right? what a great way to get rid of persistent nightmares!

Something something capitalist realism where it's impossible for certain people to imagine something not wanting to endlessly grow and expand, instead of merely being contented with enough.

D&D has an entity called "Dendar the night serpent" which is a Jörmungandr style snake titan that lives between worlds and is responsible for eating all the nightmares that ever existed....for some reason in the canon lore she's evil....

WHY!?! big friendly space snake wants to make sure you sleep good! Every player I've told about her has been an instant fan with a dedicated minority making it a personal goal to boop the all-devouring snoot.