Helladventurers

oh great tumblr looks like twitter now except no porn allowed still

God the fact that endwalker on steam is literally half of the price of the PS4 version kills me 🫠 if I had a computer I would've changed to paid a long time ago already

AYO NEVERMIND I JUST FOUND OUT THE PS4 VERSION IS ON SALE

I've settled with buying the ps4 version next month and the steam version whenever possible, that way I can make the subscription fee a lot more manageable and finally play the later expacs 😤👏

custom minecraft skin feat. my original character

Birds enjoying a Hieroglyphic Nest

The way he SLAYYEDD

Ai could never give us “we put the greed in ingredients”

God the fact that endwalker on steam is literally half of the price of the PS4 version kills me 🫠 if I had a computer I would've changed to paid a long time ago already

AYO NEVERMIND I JUST FOUND OUT THE PS4 VERSION IS ON SALE

why is this like high key lynchian like it could’ve been a scene from mulholland drive

this website's moderation sucks ass and it has a terrible bot problem and there are an enormous amount of bugs but thankfully we have a staff team hard at work not addressing any of these but instead making shitty ui changes that nobody wants

everyone's saying it but yeah the new tumblr desktop layout is complete garbage lmao

yknow what i really can't fucking stand. how every social media now feels like it's designed for mobile first but then subsequently there is NO design for desktop and they just kinda slap a mobile interface onto a widescreen canvas and fill it with a solid color. like why is what feels like 60% of my dashboard just negative space on a 16:9 monitor. the entire thing is so fucking claustrophobic and just bunched together. use the space!!!! why are the timeline switcher tabs at the top of the screen getting cut off!!! you could fit all of them!!!

LIKE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE

Had a bunch of dreams last night but all you need to know is that I met an quote-on-quote Angel of Death, who could kill anything for me at a price, and unfortunately the dream ended before I could test whether or not they meant it

NGL if god was trying to prove it was real to me, giving me a freebie "there you go, choose a person you want to be dead when you wake up, but as a price you have to convert to my religion" would be a pretty baller way to prove my atheism wrong

my guy that wasn't just god, that was Yidhra

You met Yidhra

....shit that would make more sense, yidhra or one of her followers would be a lot more likely to manifest as a floating black abyss blob than an emissary of god, on top of the reasoning on your tags

more importantly

if she returns, will you accept the deal

I'll consider it, an eldritch lovecraftian abomination is way more tempting than a Christian god NGL

i'll take it

we'll torment so many souls together

It'll be glorious 😳👏

Had a bunch of dreams last night but all you need to know is that I met an quote-on-quote Angel of Death, who could kill anything for me at a price, and unfortunately the dream ended before I could test whether or not they meant it

NGL if god was trying to prove it was real to me, giving me a freebie "there you go, choose a person you want to be dead when you wake up, but as a price you have to convert to my religion" would be a pretty baller way to prove my atheism wrong

my guy that wasn't just god, that was Yidhra

You met Yidhra

....shit that would make more sense, yidhra or one of her followers would be a lot more likely to manifest as a floating black abyss blob than an emissary of god, on top of the reasoning on your tags

more importantly

if she returns, will you accept the deal

I'll consider it, an eldritch lovecraftian abomination is way more tempting than a Christian god NGL

Had a bunch of dreams last night but all you need to know is that I met an quote-on-quote Angel of Death, who could kill anything for me at a price, and unfortunately the dream ended before I could test whether or not they meant it

NGL if god was trying to prove it was real to me, giving me a freebie "there you go, choose a person you want to be dead when you wake up, but as a price you have to convert to my religion" would be a pretty baller way to prove my atheism wrong

my guy that wasn't just god, that was Yidhra

You met Yidhra

....shit that would make more sense, yidhra or one of her followers would be a lot more likely to manifest as a floating black abyss blob than an emissary of god, on top of the reasoning on your tags

Had a bunch of dreams last night but all you need to know is that I met an quote-on-quote Angel of Death, who could kill anything for me at a price, and unfortunately the dream ended before I could test whether or not they meant it

NGL if god was trying to prove it was real to me, giving me a freebie "there you go, choose a person you want to be dead when you wake up, but as a price you have to convert to my religion" would be a pretty baller way to prove my atheism wrong

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

This is fucking insane

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

thanks @bmoharrisbankofficial but unfortunately i can’t focus on the very important message here because i’m too busy being confused by the fact that apparently if you send an ask with only one letter tumblr will bold that letter in the “asked you” notification text?? why the fuck would that be the case

fascinating

what the fuck is the backend of this site like