Time flies when you’re a faggot

The best thing for me, as an ex- Starbucks employee, is the horror that genuinely is the milk delivery when it’s only you and one other shift member. Though, I did end up learning how to carry six individual gallons of milk at once.

Also that change from Customer Service ™®© voice back to normal to informal joking-threats is amazing

Yeah the whiplash from “Hi welcome to starbucks how can I help you! :)” to “I’LL FUCK YOUR WIFE” killed me.

MILK.

DELIVERY.

Why is this heat so hot 😩

It’s the heat

Source?

talking to my infant son like im a youtuber

Whats up baby. Father here bringing you another spoonful of Gerber ham and gravy baby food

come on barbie let’s go party

it should be illegal for landlords to charge for in building laundry

it should be illegal for landlords

FMA is insane to read because you're like hey this is fun worldbuilding and I love the characters maybe this will be a fun time and then there's like a single moment where you're like IT'S ABOUT LOVE??? THE WHOLE TIME????????? And then you're changed forever as a person!

I feel bad for people who’ve never experienced a corn maze bc it’s not even fun but you just have to do it

I'd like to reblog this with some tags and comments bc I've really appreciated reading them

people who get what I mean:

people who have found a way to have fun in the corn maze but who I'm a little worried about:

person who we are going to put in the corn:

What if what Aladdin meant by a whole new world, he was just gonna get Jasmine high as shit to see the world from a stoner’s point of view?

sometimes i randomly think about how much this post sucks and start laughing really hard

someone walks up behind me and snaps my neck and i fall asleep for 8 hours and wake up feeling rested

hate when a female character gets a lot of hate but I dont like her either. sorry queen I cant defend you

My favourite thing about tumblr, that in my opinion makes it far superior to other social media sites, is that new posts live side by side with old posts. These days, there’s a prioritization of new content. It not only shortens the lifespan of people’s work, memes and such, but it also devalues the work that goes into making certain things.

Sure, a lot of posts are just random thoughts spewed into the ether, but some posts are carefully crafted videos, photos, artwork, prose, that take the creator a considerable amount of time and effort to craft. So, as a content creator, it’s nice to see that you can put work into a piece of content on here and it can have a life of its own. Unlike other platforms where posts live and die in a matter of day, sometimes, hours

Yeahhhhhh!!!!!!!

when your boy is reblogging foreskin memes but you know damn well he is a cut crusader and not a hooded hero 

My contribution

Me getting my booster shots

my washing machine on sundays

Me getting fucked up the ass