Anonymous asked:
i can’t stop thinking about twitter in the succession universe. how if kendall’s bisexuality ever came out, even if not originally linked to stewy, it would take like an hour before the “kendall roy is no longer relevant” interview clip resurfaces with some qt like “this is what gay divorce looks like”. twitter detectives would have a field day working out the timeline.
kendall’s bisexuality would be the first twitter storm, three days in someone starts a rumor that kendall and lawrence yee had an affair and that the vaulter gutting was a lover’s quarrel and poor lawrence has to respond immediately to vehemently deny it. in the middle of all that someone digs up a photo of kendall and stewy in college with the caption ‘ground zero’ as a Joke that doesn’t even get a lot of traction until stewy retweets it, causing a second, bigger twitter storm that births a ‘Gays and Guillotines: Does Kendall’s Roy Queer Interracial Relationship Negate His Family’s Capitalist Legacy?’ think piece and a ‘wall street bros and alt-right heirs: a timeline of the worst bi rep since misha collins’ video essay goes viral. teenagers keep tweeting pap photos of kendall and stewy talking about how stewy is way out of kendall’s league with captions like ‘this is like when ellie goulding dated ed sheeran’ or ‘girls will be doing the most hair done beard sharp enough to kill a man smelling like a pine forest in spring and their boyfriends will show up in a baseball cap’
but with everybody watching us, our every move- we do have reputations- we keep it secret.
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We still need several Kendall trophy husband fics but hear me out…
What if Stewy‘s assets are frozen by the SEC over some random investigation. It gets cleared up eventually but in the meantime Stewy, the people’s princess, lives his best life as Kendall’s trophy husband. 
Kendall would be like “uh..dude chill I’ll take care of you till it blows over.” Then sends Stewy a budget and allowance that his accountant created which Stewy promptly rips up. Kendall of course is confused by why Stewy is upset not realizing Stewy feels like a budget is suffocating and Kendall just assumed Stewy would like a spreadsheet as much as he does.
I can see parts about their dynamic, how they each view money, how Stewy prides himself on being independent.
It ends with Stewy buying an island on Kendall’s dime 🥰
for the record, my opinion is that kendall and stewy are equally bad about double-texting/leaving each other on read, it's just that the roles constantly switch. kendall will ignore stewy's texts for six weeks, and then call him 70x a day and leave voicemails every hour on the hour for two weeks straight and stewy will ignore each and every one. there are maybe 10 calendar days a year tops where the stars align and they communicate in a normal reciprocal fashion.
it pisses me off when people (mostly casual succession watchers) say that kenstewy met in college. NO THEY DID NOT THEY LITERALLY SAID IN STEWY’S FIRST SCENE THAT THEY MET AT BUCKLEY. THEY’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR MOST OF THEIR LIVES THATS WHY STEWY KNOWS KENDALL, HE KNOWS HIS FLAWS AND WHY KENDALL KNOWS THAT NO MATTER WHAT, STEWY IS NOT THE HEART OF DARKNESS AND STEWY WILL ALWAYS BE TEAM KEN AND KENDALL IS STEWY’S OLDEST PAL AND WILL GO WHEREVER WHENEVER FOR HIM
Anonymous asked:
who is gets more jealous and why? kendall or stewy?
equally jealous and in equally inane and fucking weird ways. like, kendall bums a cig from a girl and stewy is like well what the fuck is all that then. stewy has family plans and doesn’t invite kendall who is like what about ME. kendall goes to his own house in LA and stewy is like what about My house in LA. stewy gets his own blender so he doesn’t use kendall’s which has like chia and flax goop stuck in it and kendall is like so you want me dead. etc. and that’s without even touching kendall being jealous of stewy’s bachelor life and stewy being jealous of kendall’s wife for existing in kendall’s personal space or whatever, kendall being jealous of stewy’s comparative freedom in his career and stewy being wildly hurt that kendall has interests which don’t inherently involve him/that kendall is giving his attention (which i see as one of the most valued currencies between them) to others
i’m tired of "healthly" kenstewy fic/takes, i want them to be so codependent, jealous, possessive of each other that they are unhappy together and WITHOUT each other, they are absolutely terrible and ugly and losers for each other and it could never ever work out no matter how hard they try. no matter how much they're in love until the day one of them dies and then i want the other one to never move on and-
something something stewy and kendall could do any number of things to each other but at the end of the day, no matter what else their hands have done, no matter what other lies their mouths have told, a hand offered will be accepted and an apology given will be deliriously, gratefully believed and arms opened will be filled
