Incorrect Ineffable Husbands Because I Can

You ever trip over something, and for an instant you feel a blinding RAGE at the inanimate object that tripped you, even though it was your own stupid clumsy feet?

That’s how Crowley fell.

The entire plot of Good Omens, but with emojis

🍎🐍 🔥🗡️ 😇😈🤝

🕜🕡🕦🕣🕥🕧

👹👶 👹⛪ 🤷

😇😈🍷🐦🏔️🐬💩

😈👍😇👎

🎩🐰 🤦

⛪🔫 👶❓🤷

👩🏾‍🦰👱🙇👦➕🐶

🏇🏇🏇🏇🏍️🏍️🏍️🏍️

😈📞✝️💧⚰️

😇🤬 📖🔥

👿🚒👨‍🚒🧯

🚗🛣️🔥🕶️

🐙🌲🛸👽

👦😒 🚫

The End

A cold winter day

Neilman: NOTHING IS CANON

David and Michael:

List of things Crowley does in the internet era

 - creates malware that make your screen freeze and play obnoxious music over and over  - makes all the “Nigerian Prince in need of money” emails - created chain emails - created Blingee  - is behind every new conspiracy theory ( especially proud of the reptilian one as he used a video of himself as an inspiration ) - always suggests new stupid challenges for teenagers like the tide pods things - pop up ads windows - angry Steam reviews - angry YouTube comments - makes good Yelp reviews for very bad places - bought domain names for many random things to prevent people from getting them for their businesses - edits Wikipedia articles to add tiny bits of misinformation that are very hard to notice - tone polices people on Twitter - is obviously the one who told Adobe to make the previous versions of their softwares unavailable for users who bought them - was the first one to suggest brand mascots should be on Twitter - Tumblr ( just Tumblr, that’s all Crowley’s fault, all of it ) - gives terrible advice on Quora and Yahoo - gives five stars to products that are of very bad quality - didn’t create rickrolling but claims that he did - still uploads movies in ten parts of 7 minutes each on YouTube - starts arguments on FB - has an army of bots that is constantly saturating governements and administration website so users can’t use them - hacks people’s bank and Amazon accounts sometimes and with their money, he buys them tons of Garfield merch that he sends to their adress

“You grow up readin’ about pirates and cowboys and spacemen and stuff, and jus’ when you think the world’s all full of amazin’ things, they tell you it’s really all dead whales and chopped-down forests and nuclear waste hangin’ about for millions of years. ‘Snot worth growin’ up for, if you ask my opinion.”

 - Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, Good Omens

crowley doesn’t stay every night. he goes back to the flat in mayfair occasionally to threaten his plants and, though he’d never admit it, to catch old reruns of golden girls; aziraphale occasionally needs a little more quiet for his reading than crowley likes to give.

it’s fine. they’ve each been alone a long time, and old habits are hard to break.

but sometimes when crowley is gone, aziraphale will go to take a sip of his cocoa, long since cooled past any usual enjoyable temperature, and find it piping hot again, steam curling up from the surface like ghostly little snakes. he smiles as he sips, letting the cocoa warm him from the inside out, and knows that crowley is thinking about him.

like a goodnight kiss, aziraphale thinks.

across london, crowley’s daylilies suddenly begin to bloom in the night, and crowley watches as the petals unfurl, bright and shining in the dark of his flat. he reaches out to stroke a finger down a petal and thinks back, good night, angel. good night.

crowley giving aziraphale a gift, all excited shy smile and bouncing a little on his toes. aziraphale opens it. it is a sign to put in the front window of the bookshop that says “support your local library!” 

“crowley,” aziraphale says, looking up with wide eyes, holding the sign to his chest. “i love it.” 

My favorite type of characters are “they’re not dumb but they are a dumbass”

From the new promo :)

“Wud he be harder to get rid of than, say, a demon?” asked Shadwell, who had begun to brighten.

“Not much more,” said Aziraphale, who had never done other to get rid of demons than hint to them very strongly that he, Aziraphale, had some work to be getting on with, and wasn’t it getting late? And Crowley had always got the hint.

- Good Omens, 274

I just can’t beleive Michael Sheen has truly gifted us with the Aziraphale we deserve. Bitchy Aziraphale, looking like ‘the world’s oldest rent boy’, and gazing at Crowley with such exhaustion AND love. I absolutely can’t wait to see my favorite bitch being a perpetual embarrassment and serving up anxious, irritated looks.

Mr. Tennant

David

Sir are you okay

David your trousers look very tight

You aren’t in pain are you

Gonna start a GoFundMe to buy Crowley some looser-fitting jeans.

Every single piece of promo for Good Omens is making me so excited I’ll probably have to pause the actual show every 10 minutes not to get a heart attack

C-can we talk about this purest child? I literally love him

So, I’ve been thinking on it and like…contacts would be way less inconspicuous than sunglasses for a guy with snake eyes. And I know we can probably chalk it up to Crowley being a Drama Queen ™ but consider:

Crowley waltzes into Aziraphale’s bookshop one afternoon, without his sunglasses and grinning. His eyes are shining, and they are not yellow, but blue or green or brown. Aziraphale looks up, about to greet him, and nearly has a heart attack (or an angelic approximation).

“Oh, my dear!” he exclaims, with so much distress that Crowley’s grin fades. “Whatever happened to your beautiful eyes?”

Crowley never wears contacts again.