❗Pro tip: You can think about gay sex on the clock. It's free and they can't stop you.
actually i never experience negative consequences due to procrastination. i am occasionally blighted by god for unknowable reasons though
I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off
so there's basically two reasons he would need to do this and they're both funny
- his magical honda unsummoned while he was in Walmart; this means it's not even a real car and could look like anything and he picked or was forced somehow to pick a Honda Accord
- his normal honda was left someplace while he came to Walmart by other means, and he can teleport the car to him more easily than he can teleport himself places
He can only make sparkles but is trying to convince someone he summoned a car
He forgot where he parked
He didn't want to walk across the Walmart parking lot in August
It feels like deeply maladaptive that the human body's response to intense hunger is to feel nauseous. Like what was the goal there
That body of his is absurd
The band, the music, the dance.
puts on sound 📣🎶🎵
Ok, I NEED you to understand just how insane even ATTEMPTING this was for them.
1. Playing an instrument is difficult. Doing so in sync with others even more so. Don’t think I’m stepping on any toes saying that.
2. Dancing is difficult. Doing so in sync with others even more so. Still not controversial.
3. YOU AVOID, AT ALL COSTS, MOVING YOUR BODY WHILE PLAYING A WIND INSTRUMENT. To make the correct, pleasant sounds, you need to be in the correct form. And that form involves your ENTIRE body, even your legs when sitting down.
4. “oh, but I’ve seen marching bands before and-” MARCHING BANDS HAVE ENTIRE SCIENTIFIC FIELDS DEDICATED TO FIGURING OUT HOW TO MARCH WITH MINIMUM BREAKING OF PROPER FORM. A marching band tries to be as smooth as possible while moving, so as not to jar their instrument, mouth, neck, arms, torso, or anything else.These ladies and gentlemen are BOUNCING and still playing properly, what the FU-!
5. AND ANOTHER THING! Wind instruments and dancing BOTH make demands on your breathing, so the fact that they are dancing (making you breath faster for extra oxygen) AND playing wind instruments (making you effectively hold your breath) AT THE SAME TIME is HUGE. Their lungs must be MASSIVE.
All of that also; the song is Sing, sing, sing (with a swing). If you wanna listen to some of THE SPICIEST big band ever recorded. Its a big hard song and this band does it expertly.
#the ones im most impressed by here are the tubas in the back. both kinds#my brother did tuba in marching band for a few years and those fuckers are HEAVY#so in order to be dancing the way they are with them in of itself is impressive to me#not to mention their lung capacity. my brother is asthmatic and got Extra Large lungs from playing tuba to accommodate that#so them being able to play the tuba that takes so much fucking air AND be dancing around AND have it look smooth. is insanely impressive#bravo everyone here. the amount of dedication for them to do this is insane#video
Adult friendships be like “I miss you bro, let's hang out in November"
fake-mermaid
can i get a hell yea if you’re still gonna be wasting your time on this website in 2014
i hope everyone here knows when i say "woe ____ be upon ye" im not saying woe because said thing is bad im saying woe to invoke the image of me throwing whatever im talking about at you eminem style
And is that waify little idiot hiding behind you your boyfriend or are you being haunted by some sort of spectral ghool?
there's something compelling to me about the fact that sometimes leaving a blade or bullet inside the wound it made is the only way to prevent you from bleeding to death. something about the symbolism of it. when the thing designed and intended to kill you is the only thing keeping you alive.
also yes i do enjoy a bit of penetration imagery and the perverse intimacy of violence. if you must know.
what’s funniest about the pacific rim scientists is like. when newt geiszler says he’s a scientist he means an old-timey 1910s entomologist wearing khaki shorts and a comically oversized pair of binoculars traipsing through the jungle capturing endangered species of butterfly and murmuring “egads!! fascinating…..” and scribbling it in his journal. when hermann gottlieb is being a scientist it’s literally the fucking manhattan project. tortured chainsmoking physicist. pawn of a war. repressed homosexual all his life. gets executed for being a communist. And they have to do each other’s peer review
it's rotten work, but without the rot nothing can grow
it's rotten work but decay is an essential part of the cycle of death and rebirth
DESEXUALIZE BOOBS
STOP ACTING LIKE HAVING BOOBS REGARDLESS OF IF YR CIS OR TRANS IS INHERENTLY SEXUAL LET PEOPLE WALK AROUND BRALESS LET PEOPLE WALK AROUND SHIRTLESS WHO CARES IF YOU CAN SEE THEIR BOOBS GROW UP. IF YR PAYING SO MUCH ATTENTION TO A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLDS NIPPLES THATS ON YOU. STOP BEING WEIRD. BOOBS ARE NOT INHERENTLY SEXUAL. I NEED TO KILL LAWMAKERS