End

I'm just a girl that need to die already and that no one should be friends with. I'm an ugly, irresponsible , little cry baby that no one should pay attention to so I could just make things easier for her. So it would be easier to vanish in this world. I am someone that no one like. I am someone that no one should like because I just end up messing up something and or everything. I would just make a lot of people life's easy and just leave. I should take that plan that we had and just go. No one should ever want to be with me or talk to me or even let me come to there mind because I would just putting them through hell. No one should ever go through hell just because of me. I am not worth it. So many people have left me for things that I have no clue for. I must be really bad for someone to do that or if I make someone sexually confused that they don't know if they like me that there cousin comes and tells me things that would upset anyone. I just want everything to end. I have gone through the this way to many time for anyone to still be alive. I come from a broken family that involves sex, drugs, alcohol, lies, and violence. I should never be loved or seen or spoken to. I will just make that person leave or cry. I try so hard to end it all be it never works. I have no clue what is wrong me. I should never go through this if I was normal. Something is really wrong with my mind. I need to be in a psycho home. I should never let anyone come to hell with me. They don't deserve that. I don't deserve friend or someone or something to love.IT WILL NEVER WORK FOR ME. It never does. This nothing new to me anyone and I should get used to it be it still upset me every time. I have been crying for two hours and still going. I am going no where in life so I don't want you to come with me. You will be so successful in life. You will be much happier with one best friend. hope . You will much better off without me. Hope deserves better than me. I can promise you that. I'm going to end up running away sometime or another. Just waiting where people will see me on tv and not on a show. They would see me on the news. Rather dead or missing. People would know that there pain is gone because I would be gone. I'm just done with life.

i wish

i could not bear to be apart from the though of him. he was the one i loved. I meant it when i said it. everything was perfect. then it all fell apart just by one movement. then he has not spoken a word to me scene 10-1-15 . how do you get rid of the thoughts? how do you tell yourself that your better then that when all you want to do is kill yourself every second you can , but you are just waiting if he will ever talk to you again. you wonder if he ever thinks about you as much as you think about him? when you have once carved his name into your skin. you chose to be with him over anyone in the world. you would do anything just to get him back. he is in your mind so much that school is dead compared to the sweet song of his name. you do not sleep because every time you close your eyes you see him. you have killed your skin because you could not keep you thoughts in much longer so you had to let them out someway. that seemed the only way to solve it. you still go to the same place where you guys used to meet up just waiting to hear his footsteps coming before you, to see if he ever does the same, to hear his voice once more. sometime taking your life sound better then living at all. i just want it to end.

please

eveything seems to be going wrong. we have freedom, dont we? why would someone becomes so mean and have so much hatred that they would do something like that. 11-13-15 will never be forgotten. it will never be put to rest. they have people so scared for their loved ones. people are taking their own lives because they want to be the person to pull the trigger or to fall off that stool or to swallow that pill. they dont want someone to take their lives for them. i am scared.

-heather

at night before I go to sleep. I lay my head on my arm. I can hear so much. I can hear the noise of my dad snoring. I can hear the bag on the back off door flowing from the wind of my fan. I can hear and feel my heart beating but, the thing I love most to hear is the sound of the blood pumping through my veins. it tells me that I’m still alive. that I can survive the most depressing days. the day I wouldn’t want to end. every night for 10 years. I have lay my head on my arm. just to hear that song of mine.

-heather

all I know is over been in the worst situations I could be in. my mom and dad aren’t together. I don’t get long with my brothers and sister and I’m still living through life. but I can make friends very well because I’m not scared of anything anymore. not even the dark. but there’s that one thing that I am afraid to say, do, think. I hate losing people in my life. once you are in my life I never want you to leave. my best friend “hope” knows that. I couldn’t want anything more. I haven’t gone a day without talking to her in 4 months. I love her so much. she is the reason why I’m here. why I’m still living. so please. don’t go!