sleepy-head; pedro pascal.

a/n: fluffy falling asleep on set idk, not edited, no warnings. enjoy sweet friends

stiles stilinski: breakable heaven; pt. 8, “i’m always waiting for you to be waiting below. angels roll their eyes. what doesn't kill me makes me want you more.”

a/n: still sad boi hours, sorry not sorry. violence in this one, so be warned <3

“i’m gonna be honest with you guys-“

y/n turned in the passenger seat to face scott and stiles. she tapped a hand against the center console to emphasize her point, brows lifted on her face. scott and stiles gaped back, awaiting her response to the very long, very winded explanation they had just given her. all she’d wanted to know was why had scott’s eyes glowed, and why the fuck were they red?

then, they proceeded to talk over one another, scrambling out details to circumstances that she had no clue ever existed in the first. something about, like, kanima’s? druids, magic, ash made from a hill or something? her brain was fuzzy, her lip and hands still hurt, and she was sitting in wet clothes.

she wasn’t exactly in the best situation to hear about all of this.

“i’m drunk as fuck right now,” she made a wary, silly face.

stiles slammed back in his seat, huffing frustratedly. he rubbed his hands over his eyes, before pointing an accusatory finger at her, “drink your water.”

y/n rolled her eyes at his response, but cracked back open her water bottle, nonetheless. she was sobering up as the time passed, and as she downed two or three water bottles. but, she’d drank a lot. the alcohol wasn’t going to magical disappear from of her system just because.

scott leaned between the front seats, balancing his elbows on the headrests, to ask, “did you understand anything we just told you?”

y/n pursed her lips. she turned her head to look him up and down, “you’re a werewolf?” that, she had gathered.

scott nodded slowly, encouraging her to continue on.

“and there’s a pack of alpha werewolves killing a bunch of people?”

stiles waved his head side to side, “not even close.” he dropped a hand through the air.

she shrugged, “honestly, i’m probably gonna wake up tomorrow and you’re gonna have to tell me it all again. i don’t think anything is going on up here right now. y/n tapped a hand on her forehead. her expression had changed to a careless one, mirroring the fact that she really didn’t understand the amount of danger they were currently in. she really, honestly wanted to laugh out loud. she wanted to snort and say, “no fucking way.” but she at least knew that wouldn’t help stiles’ frustration.

stiles tapped his nervous fingers against his steering wheel, the bandages adorning his cuts shifting from the movement. scott had taken away stiles’ pain, but his other hand was definitely broken. he held it in his lap carefully. y/n had suggested they go to the hospital, but he insisted that they had more important things to take care of. he tried to cover it up, but y/n could still see him wince, every so often, as the pain slowly appeared again.

“i still don’t think this is a good idea- bringing her with us,” stiles admitted.

scott agreed with a nod of his head, “i really don’t think it is either.”

y/n turned back to stiles as she crossed her arms, “maybe it’s just me here, but lying to someone is never a good idea either.”

“i was protecting you!” stiles exclaimed, carelessly tossing his hands in the air. it wasn’t the first time this evening that he had declared this unwarranted position. though, this time, the volume of his voice raised a little higher than he wanted it to, making y/n itch away from him slightly. stiles caught himself, cleared his throat, lowered his tone, “do you seriously think things would have been better for us if you had known about everything all along?”

“i don’t know the answer to that! you couldn’t have known the answer to that question! it doesn’t even matter- you don’t just get to decide what’s best for me, okay? you don’t get to decide what i’m allowed to know. you don’t get to protect me from things without even telling me about them! besides, i’m not in anymore danger than anyone else in this town just because i now know about scott being a werewolf! you shouldn’t have lied to me. about anything.”

y/n was drained from the evening. her eyes were growing heavier and her stomach growled incessantly, making her even grumpier. she was already pissed off at stiles for having kept so many secrets. her physical sickness just made it worse.

having learned what he had been truly keeping from her made y/n only slightly better. so, he wasn’t seeing lydia- that was great, honestly. she wasn’t the other woman. maybe, they actually had a chance at something here.

but, the fact that he lied to, consistently, on, pretty much, a daily basis? that didn’t feel so good. she didn’t know what he was being honest about, now. like he had created some illusion of who he really was when they were together. she was held distant, isolated from his real life. and she just didn’t know stiles as well as she thought she did.

on the other hand, stiles was angry, too. angry that she’d looked at his phone, taken his private texts way out of context, and assumed the worst of him- only to be completely wrong about everything! y/n was, up to that point, special to him. she was so different than everyone else in his life. it felt like his friends, his family, his teachers, they all expected him to fail, constantly. they expected him to be late, they expected him to ruin things. she never did that. she never made fun of him for laughing too loudly, for telling the wrong jokes at the wrong times.

all his flaws, everything he thought was wrong with him- she looked through them. she appreciated them. she unconditionally trusted him and- he hoped- loved him.

as his anger swelled in his chest, stiles reminded himself of these facts. he controlled his tone, his volume. stiles licked his lips, formulating a softened response, “it’s not that simple, y/n. you just don’t get it, okay? you haven’t been around this shit before. it’s destructive. it literally kills people, y/n. even if you weren’t out here with us, every night, defending this town, you’d still be in more danger. you’d be a target, you’d have a giant red x over you. and, god forbid, i want you to be safe, away from all that. god forbid.”

y/n rolled her eyes, held up a hand, “don’t even start with the fucking romantic confessions right now, in the middle of all of this. you think confessing some bullshit feelings will fix things? i can’t even fucking believe you.”

stiles bit his lip, rolled it between his teeth. he knew if he said anything else, he would snuff out whatever flame was already slowing dulling between them. so, he didn’t respond. he could only stare, blankly, at her.

she shook her head and turned towards the window. y/tugged the hood of stiles jacket up over her head, sinking from his view, so he’d stop staring at her like she’d just killed his dog. she lay her head against the glass, squeezed her eyes shut, and willed the tears pooling in her eyes to just go away.

scott, listening patiently from the backseat, knew y/n was anything but coherent right now. he could smell her pheromones, could hear her heartbeat- it was all over the place, and she reeked of anxiety and confusion. her consciousness was manipulated by the alcohol, making her unaware of what she was saying. it was just a mess, really. the more stiles pressed, the more venom she’d spit.

honestly, he was shocked that stiles hadn’t pushed harder. usually, his best friend argued his point until the other person gave in. stiles always thought- knew, he would insist- that he was right. he struggled to put himself in other peoples shoes. and, maybe he wasn’t doing that right now, but…he was exhibiting patience. and, scott knew, somehow, that if this conversation continued when y/n was sober, she and stiles would reach an agreement. she’d forgive him- and stiles would actually apologize. call it werewolf’s intuition. or call it- scott knew stiles was very much in love with her.

scott continued to watch as stiles took in the sight of her, drunk, battered, exhausted, and gave up the fight. he was really proud of the growth he’d seen in stiles these past few months. y/n was indefinitely a part of that process.

scott gently patted stiles’ shoulder, hoping the solace would comfort his anger, his frustration. communicate that scott noticed, and was validating his efforts. stiles glanced over his shoulder at his best friend and shot him a tight-lipped smile. it was a struggle because stiles felt like literal shit. he felt like shit for lying, for losing her, for getting her drug into this mess. but, he would feel even worse if he’d push to her to a breaking point and never get her.

soon enough, they pulled into the parking lot of beacon hills high school. the benefit concert had been earlier this evening. a few staff members’ cars were still here, cleaning up the auditorium. lydia had stayed to help, to get volunteer hours. her car was still here.

the benefit concert was part of the reason why jack had thrown such a blowout party. it was supposed to be a night full of the celebration of life, to remember all of the people they’d lost over the last year. but, as things usually went in beacon hills, that was no longer the case.

instead, it was, now, turning into a apparent bloodbath.

“where’s it coming from?” stiles asked scott as the three of them climbed out of the jeep.

y/n pulled her hood down, processing this new bit of information, “you can smell blood?”

scott nodded. he looked around them, at the parking lot, the exterior of the building, in case his eyes could make up for his smell. “except i can’t pinpoint it. it’s- it’s everywhere. it’s on you guys, it’s coming from a classroom, the auditorium, i think? i don’t know.”

“okay, well, let’s just call lydia and see where she is. she’ll probably find the body before than us. she might already be with it,” stiles suggested, pulling his phone from his back pocket.

he eyed y/n as scott led the three towards the front door of the building. as the light hit her face, he could see the tears glistening in her cheeks. his breath bitched. she met his eye as she glanced around, and quickly looked away. with the hoodie sleeves down over her hands, she wiped her face clear.

she’d finally just got the tears to stop pouring. now, though y/n wouldn’t admit it, her sadness was smothered by fear. she off-put by the dark, eery atmosphere of their high school. the grounds were usually full of life, students, laughter, noise- it was desolate now. all of the lights were shut off. the wind whipped past them like a warning. still damp from their accidental dip in the pool, y/n shuddered, goosebumps littering up and down her skin.

stiles ran a hand through his drying hair, then planted it on his hip. he tried to meet y/n’s eyes again, concern plastered on his face. she was freezing cold, crying. and she looked really scared. stiles’ shoulders slackened as she turned away.

his phone rang, ten tones dialing in his ear, until it sent him to lydia’s voicemail. he huffed and sent her a text. “she’s not answering,” he tapped his phone against his hand before shoving it back into his jean’s pocket.

so, scott opened the door to the school for them. stiles ducked inside, y/n following close behind. they would search for her.

stiles stepped back to her side as soon as she was in the building, his shoulder close to hers. he wanted to take her hand, to keep her right at his fingertips, so he knew she was really there, so no one could take her from him.

in all honestly, he really just wanted to drive her home. tuck her into bed. kiss her forehead. pray and hope that she’d wake up and forget about all of this. he didn’t want to put her life in danger like this. he didn’t want to lose her.

but, she wanted to be here. she insisted. and, stiles felt he had to prove to her that what he was saying, now, was the truth. maybe she’d grant him back the trust she’d given him before all of this. maybe things would go back to normal- as normal as they could and would be. maybe she’d even deny everything, not want anything to do with this part of his life after she realizes it’s terrifying and traumatizing. they could pretend like it never happened, if she wanted to keep this a secret. he would do that, if she asked.

of course, they weren’t going to get the chance for any of stiles’ hopes to come true.

only his fears.

lydia was nowhere to be found. the three students searched the north and west wings of the school. y/n sometimes just watched as scott and stiles popped open every single classroom door, peeked inside every closet, called out lydia’s name. she wasn’t sure exactly what to do, so she just followed closely behind stiles, eyes darting across every corner of every room, on guard. other times, she’d open a door, nearly feeling like she would vomit, and look inside for the red-head.

y/n really wanted to grab onto stiles’ hand, wanted to hold it so tight that the blood rushed out of her fingers, turned her knuckles white, broke his other bones. she was terrified, and he seemed to be the only thing to ever really bring her solace, comfort. but, she resisted the urge to clutch onto him.

if he asked, she would go home. she was sobering up now. she was facing the reality of the situation.

and she didn’t want anything to do with this. she trusted him- of course she did. he knew her better than danny, than her parents. in such a short time, he’d been able to discover every inch of her, body, mind, and soul. and, she had done the same. she knew, deep down, that he meant what he said- he’d done this to protect her.

and she loved him for it. she trusted him for doing just that. things would be fixed, in the blink of an eye, if only one of them would just open their mouth again.

stiles kept an eye on her. he’d catch her worried gaze every so often. stiles would give a short nod, a half-hearted, sad smile to try to encourage her that she was safe with him. that everything would be okay. though, it was starting to feel like everything was actually very much not okay.

y/n didn’t know what expression to wear, didn’t know what to say, if she should even pierce the uncomfortable silence bracing all of them. if she said that she wanted to go home, she’d sound like a baby. but, her intuition, her gut, told her that something bad was about to happen. and she didn’t know what she was going to do when that storm caught them in it’s winds.

scott eventually changed the course of their plan, “okay, let’s just find lydia’s locker. maybe i can grab a scent off of her stuff.”

stiles perked up, knowing he would be of best use here. he led y/n and scott down the next hallway, right to lydia’s locker. she knew he had told her that nothing was going on between him and lydia, but she was still a jealous person, made worse by the fact that he still wasn’t really hers. so, the idea that he could find lydia’s locker like he was tracing a map on the back of his hand- it was discouraging to his cause. stiles didn’t really notice this, a little caught up in the newfound part of their plan. he set his hands on his hips, watching as scott examined the exterior of the locker. y/n tried not to wear her heart on her sleeve.

“do you know the combo?” scott tugged at the lock, glancing over at stiles.

the dark-haired boy pointed a finger, took in a deep breath to allow his lips to say that, yes, he knew lydia martin’s locker combination. of course he did: he’d known it since freshman year.

then, he met y/n’s eye, and noticed a deflated hope lying just inside her pupils. stiles dropped his shoulders, let his hands fall to his sides. he knew, now, how she seemed so sure that stiles and lydia had been together. he was no help to the rumor.

he kept her eyes in his as he stated, “no. i don’t.”

y/n let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. she knew that this wasn’t true. she had his body language memorized better than her own locker combination. besides, stiles always seemed to know everything. but, the fact that he had answered no? that made her feel better, knowing he had picked her in that moment.

she was sure, after this moment, that they would be okay. she was positive. she knew it. they’d just have to get through this, then she could tell him. she could tell him everything she felt.

scott sighed softly before ripping off the lock. it made y/n jump, and she ripped her eyes from stiles’.

“holy fuck.”

so, he really did have super strength.

scott chucked slightly, “sorry.” he proceeded to rifle through lydia’s things- textbooks, a few sweaters, pencils, loose papers- smelling each and every one of them. y/n watched with furrowed brows as he tried to find the one with the best scent.

stiles kept his eyes on y/n. the cut on her chin was patched with a bandaid. it looked cute, as morbid as that thought must be. her damp hair, nearly almost dry, was messy and tangled over her shoulders. but, he still admired her beauty. he was lost in the daze he normally fell into whenever she was near.

scott snapped him out of it, literally. he held up one of lydia’s sweater, “i’ve got it. this way-!”

stiles, caught up in the moment, turned on his heel, leading himself and scott back down the hallway where they’d come from. y/n took a step to follow them, but a piercing whisper caught her ear. she turned towards the sound, a hush she couldn’t quite decipher.

at the end of this side of the building, y/n saw a shadow, cast across the floor. it poured out of the open door to the english classroom. another whisper echoed down to her, sliding across the lockers, “y/n…”

she knew she shouldn’t, but y/n couldn’t stop her feet as they slowly dragged her forward. her brows furrowed, head tilting at the sound of her voice being called out, so softly, so enticingly. she seemed to be pulled into some sort of trance. and scott and stiles were so caught up on lydia’s trail, the sound of their sneakers hitting the tile flooring covering the noise, that they couldn’t save y/n from it.

y/n continued setting her careful steps, one at a time, before her, until she reached the door to the english room. she turned her body, and immediately lay eyes on lydia. the red-headed girl sat on one of the classroom chairs, hands and feet duct taped to the limbs of it. y/n gasped, rushing into the room, “oh, my god!”

lydia sobbed in response, cheeks glistening with mascara-ridden tears, “no, no, no! you have to go! you have to leav-“

“we’ve been looking for you! stiles and scott- they’re-“

“see, stiles was right.”

y/n jumped on her feet and twisted around as the door to the classroom was slammed shut. she faced miss morel, her english teacher, who wore a satisfied smirk.

y/n took a shuddering breath as she noticed the wire swinging from her teacher’s hands. she remembered how stiles had told her the killer was using a weapon like that.

this was the bad thing that she had felt in her gut.

“you really have no idea about any of this. if you did, you would know not to follow a creepy voice just whispering your name down a dark hallway. and to think, you’re such a good, smart student. guess we don’t really cover common sense in our senior english class, no?” miss morel tilted her head as she spoke, drawing a fear out of y/n that she had never felt before.

y/n’s entire body was shaking. the tears, unwillingly, gushed back out of her eyes. she didn’t know what to do. words simply wouldn’t form in her mind. she took a step back and grabbed a hand at lydia’s shoulder, “let us go.”

miss morel snorted out a devilish laugh, “that’s the best you can come up? hm…i give you a d- for lack of creativity. now, get out of my way so i can finish what i started.”

y/n couldn’t move away fast enough as miss morel shot out a hand and sent the girl flying across the room. she slammed into the wall, banged her head off of the concrete, and crashed onto the floor in a heap. lydia screamed as she watched y/n fly.

across the school, scott and stiles stopped, dead in their tracks, at the sound of lydia’s scream. stiles spun around and took a few steps back in the direction they’d been heading from. he skidded on his feet when he noticed, “where the fuck is y/n?”

scott sighed heavily, slowly, a worried look crossing his face. “stiles…wait!”

stiles shot off faster than scott had ever seen him move. he ran towards the screams, calling out y/n’s name. he was breathless, but he persisted. lydia’s scream only ever meant one thing- someone was dying.

a gust of wind blew past stiles as scott transformed into his werewolf state. a roar rolled through stiles’ ears, too, a determined, pissed off roar. stiles ran after him, wishing, for the first time in his life, that he, too, was a werewolf. he knew once he reached scott, y/n, lydia, he’d be of no use.

and he was right.

for once, he wanted to be the hero. for once, he wanted to save the girl- his girl. he didn’t even care about lydia, or anybody else in this godforsaken town. he just wanted to turn the tides of the story, once, on his own. he needed things to be in his control.

just as he turned the corner, stiles heard another roar escape from the back of scott’s throat. then, the sound of desks crashing echoed out of the english room. stiles headed for the room, slowing his pace as he reached the door. as he went to step inside, he met eyes with miss morel and the shock made his feet trip over each other. she held out a hand and the door slammed shut before him. stiles crashed his body against the door, pounding his fist against the glass, rattling at the locked doorknob.

his eyes darted around the room, taking in lydia, tied down to a chair, scott, spitting up blood on the floor. he finally found y/n who was sprawled across the back of the room, a deep gash on her forehead, chin lolled to the side. stiles yelled louder.

then, stiles saw his dad. miss morel stepped in front of the sheriff, blocking stiles’ view.

and they disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

scott finally pushed himself up off of the floor, stumbled to the door, and pushed the desk that was blocking it away. stiles bounded into the room. he looked between lydia and y/n, glanced at the spot where his dad had been, where his gun was now the only evidence of his presence there.

stiles quickly raced to y/n, dropping to his knees at her side. he pressed two fingers to her neck, letting out a shaky loudly when he finally felt her heartbeat, weakly thumping somewhere inside her body.

“i’m here, y/n,” he sat on the cool floor, tugging her still body into his lap. stiles lay a shaking hand to her cheek, brushed the bloody hair away from her skin. she looked so pretty, still. he was convinced she could never look bad. she was just…angelic. that’s the only word he could think of. stiles caressed her skin, dazedly. he didn’t even notice the tears slinking off his face.

it all sounded distant, drowned, but he could hear scott somewhere behind him, calling the police, untying lydia. allison and isaac, derek, too, eventually showed up. their muffled conversation was drowned out to stiles, their plans and battle moves meaning nothing to them him right now. he just kept clutching y/n’s limp body like a prayer.

he didn’t know what to do, but he knew he couldn’t let her go. if he let go, then he would fall apart.

because his was dad had been taken. his dad was probably going to die. and stiles was powerless.

there was nothing he could do.

he mumbled, just loud enough for scott to hear to it, “please wake up.”

he needed her to hold him and to run her fingers through his hair and to kiss his cheek and to hush his sobs that were now racking his body and to tell him everything would be okay.

but then, the paramedics were pulling her body from his lap. they were strapping her onto a gurney, and they were loading into an ambulance. stiles followed them, closely, like a zombie. they asked for her name, her age, and he murmured it all out, subconsciously.

he climbed inside the ambulance with them, and when he finally had her hand again, when his skin was finally against hers, stiles didn’t feel so cold. stiles didn’t cry so hard.

scott watched as the doors to the ambulance shut, closing out his view of stiles. he looked at allison, at isaac, lydia and derek. but, nobody knew what to do.

stiles stilinksi master-list:

breakable heaven: a situationship with stiles.

part 1 ; part 2; part 3; part 4; part 5; part 6; part 7.

–ongoing series.

stiles stilinski: breakable heaven; pt. 7, “i’m drunk in the back of the car and i cried like a baby coming home from the bar. said, ‘I'm fine,’ but it wasn't true.”

a/n: sad, but gets hopeful! one more part after this, i think :)

“i’m glad i never ended up having a party at my house.”

danny fell into step beside y/n, their shoes scuffing against the sidewalk. they had to park all the way down the street from jack’s house because there were so many other people here. because it was so late at night, the air in beacon hills was cool. y/n hugged her arms around herself, wishing she hadn’t worn a tank top beneath her jacket. her breath came out like a fog as she spoke.

danny made a face at the thought, “too much work. imagine the clean up.”

“yeah, no thanks,” she shivered.

the music coming from the house ahead of them got louder as they neared it. some popular radio song reverberated in their ears. y/n felt her heart beat in her throat, thumping along to the bass. danny lit up once they reached the door, excited to drink, dance.

he always was the party type. he had so much fun moving to the music, losing himself in the crowd.

on the other hand, there was y/n, who didn’t normally drink at parties. she was a go-to for being the designated driver, choosing to watch out for her friends and play with whatever animal the owner of the house had sniffing around.

tonight, however, she wanted to let loose. needed to, more so.there was nothing better after a heartbreak than getting messy-drunk at a high school party.

it had been a week. a whole week since her and stiles’ fall out. a week since she’d seen his face. sure, she saw his figure in the hallways sometimes, but she would run the other way. he’d start to chase her down, but danny was usually close by and he’d shoot stiles a glaring look. it turned him away. he’d texted her nonstop, called her about a million times. but, after the fourth day, when he realized she just wouldn’t be responding, he stopped. all lines of communication fell out. any hope of fixing what was broken was squashed out.

when y/n thought about it too much, she felt sick. nausea tumbled through her stomach. her head became fuzzy. stupid, naive girl, she’d think to herself. it’s all your fault. so, every single time her mind started to wander, she’d shove her nose into her homework, pick up a shift at work, get so high out of her mind that reality felt like a television show.

tonight, her choice of thought erasure was getting wasted at a high school party.

y/n squeezed her hand around danny’s bicep once they walked in. in response, he kept her close to his side as they wormed through jack’s house, in search of their friend group. eventually, they found leo, megan, jack, and a few others. they were in the kitchen, standing around the island counter. glasses were scattered around the house already, though the party had just started barely an hour or so ago. the group cheered when y/n and danny came through the door, holding up some of the red solo cups.

megan came to y/n’s side, her tipsy stature morphing her usually quiet attitude into something more sentimental. she clutched onto y/n’s arm. she touched y/n’s cheek and gushed over the curls swinging over her shoulders. “i loooove the hair, girl. you look so pretty with it like that. you’re always pretty, though. oh, my god, you know we haven’t hung out in forever and it makes me so sad. please, please say we’ll hang out soon.”

y/n giggled at megan’s state, wrapping a securely protective arm around megan’s waist. “i promise, okay?”

y/n was the first to admit that she’d been so caught up with boys over the last few months. she hadn’t exactly pushed away her friends, but she hadn’t prioritized them, either. she was in her head with her own issues, and didn’t make the time others. it made her feel a little guilty. but, before that feeling could snowball into the depressive heartbreak she’d been plagued with, megan continued.

“what’s new with you? what have you been up to? i hope you’re not still sad about sam. you should know you’re so much fucking better than him. you deserve so much fucking better than him. he’s such a whore. fuck him.”

“no, i’m over that,” y/n said, confidently waving megan off through a giggle. and she was telling the truth. “i’ve just been…hanging out. ya know. working.” her gaze became distant, words slow as stiles’ face flashes through her memories. y/n didn’t say what she had been really doing. it was embarrassing to admit that she’d gotten herself into another shitty situation with a guy.

though, megan squinted her eyes, analyzing her friend’s words. she knew, “oh, no. oh, no, no, no. fucking stilinksi. i fucking knew once danny told us- okay. listen- you don’t even have to say anything, kay? tonight, we’re just gonna have fun. here, jack, pour us some shots!”

y/n couldn’t help but grin in response. there wasn’t time to imagine stiles- to envision his lips ghosting the curve of her skin, to try to remember what it felt like when he’d draw out movement from her body. because, next thing she knew, megan was shoving two to three red solo shot cups into y/n’s hand- all in a row. and y/n didn’t let herself hesitate. she swallowed them easily, ignoring the burn in her throat, her heart, her chest, and head.

jack cracked a smirnoff open for her. danny caught y/n’s eyes as she took a sip and gave her a thumbs up. when she waved him off, he winked, then wandered his way into the living room, where people were dancing. he’d mentioned something about ethan being there. y/n looped her arm through megan’s, pointed in that direction. megan nodded excitedly and pulled them to the makeshift dance floor.

they danced for what felt like hours but, really, was only maybe forty five minutes. jack and leo, avid partiers, continued shoving shots into their friend’s hands, traveling between the bar in the kitchen and the dance floor. y/n losing track of time turned into her losing track of how much she was drinking. one smirnoff turned into numerous empty glasses that she’d abandon on the coffee table beside her.

she had to take her jacket off after a while, sweating too much in the jean material. y/n tossed it, absentmindedly, on the couch. she probably wouldn’t remember it there later. she’d probably have jack in a frenzy, texting everyone tomorrow about random articles of clothing in his living room. she’d probably lose the 20 stuffed into the pocket to some wandering hands. but it didn’t matter.

nothing really mattered. not when her favorite song played, not when megan spun her around, when danny would yell lyrics into her face and ruffle her hair. y/n just kept throwing her head back, giggling like a mad woman.

it didn’t matter. it did not matter to her. the entire, fucked up situation with stiles. it didn’t matter that he had used her, that he had been seeing lydia the whole time. it did not matter that he had kept so many secrets from her. it did not matter that she broke her own rules, that she let him get beneath her skin, that she fell in love with hi

it did not really matter if she loved him.

y/n turned on her heel, dancing around in circles with megan, both girls holding each other’s hands like they were schoolgirls. her hair whipped over her shoulders, in waves behind her back. her eyes couldn’t focus on the blurred, bright lights passing her vision as they spun. the bodies surrounding them turned into smudges against her vision. she couldn’t tell who was who.

but she thought she saw stiles standing in the doorway to the kitchen, clear as day.

y/n stalled in her tracks. she nearly fell over from how quickly she stopped. megan bumped into her shoulder, grabbed y/n’s arm to steady herself.

y/n couldn’t breathe. she squinted her eyes, rubbed at them, smudging her mascara.

her sight cleared and there was nobody there.

megan laughed loudly in y/n’s ear, tugging on her arm, “why’d you stop?! keep going! spin, spin!”

y/n took a deep, shuddering breath, staring at the spot where she had pictured stiles. “i need air,” she mumbled.

megan yelled, “what are you saying?”

y/n pulled her arm out of megan’s, “i’m going outside,” she barely looked at her friend. this is why she didn’t like to drink.

y/n stumbled through the house, being shoved left and right by the sweaty, dancing teenagers suffocating her. she didn’t know when she’d started crying, but her face was slick was tears. she wiped her hands across her cheeks, smearing more mascara and eyeliner, blackening her palms. she couldn’t focus her thoughts, nor did she feel like herself. this is why she didn’t like to drink. because she wasn’t logical, she was out of control.

y/n found the side door, the one that led to jack’s garage, and slammed it shut behind her. once she reached the garage floor, she slowly lowered herself to the bottom step, hugged her knees to her chest. she didn’t know if she was having a panic attack or a full mental breakdown. but she couldn’t breathe. and she just wanted to be sober so she could figure out her shit.

y/n pressed a hand to her chest, hoping the pressure would do something: ground her, snap her back to reality. all she could do was sob, rock back and forth like a baby. as she did so, her phone fell out of her back pocket. somehow, her camera roll was open on the screen. staring up at her. a picture of stiles and winnie was there, taunting her.

y/n didn’t have any inhibitions, too far gone to know what crossed the line of boundaries she’d made when she was sober. so, she picked up her phone, her hands shaking.

and she hit the little telephone next to his contact. she stared at the picture as it rung.

she needed him. she needed him to hold her, bare-naked under his bedsheets, warm against his chest. needed him to rake his fingers through her hair and to kiss her forehead, call her baby again. even just say her name. she’d even pretend, like she did a dozen times, just for him, that she didn’t notice his lips linger there. she’d pretend it never happened.

anything for him. if he wanted her and lydia- that was fine. he could have her. she was his, completely, fully. all of his. every inch of her skin that he had laid eyes, that he had touched his with fingertips, every inch of skin that he had nipped at with his teeth- it was his.

he picked up immediately.

“y/n? oh, my god, i’m so fucking- i’m so sorry. i don’t know what i did-“

“stiles,” she cut him off, voice barely above a whisper.

his tone instantly softened. a soothing one replaced his usually hectic vocal demeanor, “oh, baby.” he knew, from just the smallest whimper barely uttered between her lips, he knew that she didn’t want to fight. she didn’t call to argue. she didn’t call to make up, either. she just called to hear him, to talk to him. she needed him.

she’d never know how much he needed her, too.

his voice, breathy in her ear, sent a shiver down her spine. y/n sniffled, knuckles white on the hand which held her phone. her head lolled down, chin hiding into her chest.

“what’s wrong?” he asked.

y/n chewed on her lip for a moment, willing it to stop wobbling, “i mis-“ she stopped herself, jamming a different word onto what she was saying to cover it up, “i mistake. i-um, didn’t mean to call you.

it took him a second to reply, “oh. ok.” he knew it wasn’t true, but he didn’t know what else to say. he didn’t want to press her into a conversation she didn’t want to have. but he didn’t want to end the call. he wanted to be whatever she needed in this moment.

they sat there in silence for a good two minutes, not even the sound of their own ragged, anticipatory breaths making any noise in the other’s ear. y/n’s hand was shaking. she loosened her tight grip on her knees and stretched her legs out in front of her. the shift in position helped her breath a little bit better.

she sniffled again, tilted her head back. as she stared at the ceiling, she suddenly laughed. “i didn’t make a fucking mistake, stiles. god, i meant to call you.”

“oh, good,” his tone remained still and flat. he was focused on reading her words. there was meaning between the lines that he couldn’t read. and she was acting strange. he was decoding everything.

“i mean to call you because every single second that i’m not with you, i feel like i’m going to die!” she exclaimed, tossing her other hand in the air.

stiles rubbed his lips together, brows furrowed, “i’m glad that you called.” he, also, felt like he was going to die without her. but, he didn’t know if he should tell.

if only stiles knew that if he would have just told her, honestly, how he felt, as soon as he felt it, months ago, this entire situation could have been avoided. alas, it was a lesson he was still learning.

“good,” y/n huffed. hearing him calmed her down. knowing he was there coaxed her off the edge of anxiety. now, her drunken self took back over her body. and drunk y/n wanted to dance, “okay. i’m going back to the party-“

“party?” stiles interrupted her, his concerned tone back. she was annoyed that he cared where she was at. he didn’t have any right to that feeling- though, also, it made her feel good, that jealousy, that toxicity.

drunk y/n was feeling a lot.

she nodded, though he couldn’t see her, stating matter of factly, “party. i’m at a party, stiles. i’m drunk, and i’m having a blast. well, i was having a blast until you popped into my mind. god, do you know how badly i want to punch you in the face? i just wanna give you, like, a knuckle sandwich, ya know? maybe being hit will make you figure your shit out. okay, whatever. like i was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, i’m going back to the party. i’m going to go dance with my friends-“

stiles had just left the animal clinic, where he, lydia, allison, and scott had met to discuss plans to combat the killer still in beacon hills. chills were lingering on his skin, thinking about all of the photographs stolen from the station, picturing dead students cut at the throat. every time they’d pull another out of the beige manila folder, y/n’s face would appear in his head, attached to a battered, beaten corpse. he’d been worried sick about her the last week, especially since the murderous rampages had slowly spread, closer to home. and, they were more vicious as every day passed. he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t stay outside her house every night, parked in his jeep down the road, barely able to sleep.

her, drunk at a party, was the last situation stiles needed her to be in. it was dangerous. he didn’t want to show up to a crime scene with her corpse lying within a body bag. he couldn’t lose her.

of course, she didn’t know that that was a possible ending to her night. everyone knew about the serial killer, but average citizens of beacon hills didn’t really seem concern themselves with something that seemed so out of reach. teenagers, especially, were naive and vulnerable to things like that.

“who’s with you?” he interceded her words, again. y/n groaned in response and went to complain about how he always did shit like that. but, he spoke again, more firmly this time, “y/n, who’s with you?”

“my friends, just danny, megan, jack, leo. a bunch of other people i don’t know,” she listed off, staring into space. “why do you care?”

“where is it?” stiles demanded. sure, he didn’t have claws, fangs, or anything that would stop a literal supernatural serial killer besides a beat-up baseball ball and his annoying attitude which would eventually drive the creature even more insane. but, he needed to be there. heather had died at a party. the ending scene of a slasher film always happened at a party. parties were breeding grounds for death, as if they were the tenth circle of dante’s inferno or something.

y/n, danny, leo, megan- they were all sitting ducks. targets for something really bad yet to happen.

so, he needed to be there. convince her to leave, if he could. if she wouldn’t leave, he’d stay. he’d stay for her.

anything for her.

y/n hung up on the phone once he said he was on the way. she’d scoffed and said, “yeah, fucking right. danny will beat the shit out of you.”

the beeping tone of a hung up line hit stiles like a truck. he still didn’t quite understand what he had done. if he did, he’d had fixed it by now. he was always good at fixing things. maybe he didn’t have glowing red eyes, or the ability to predict death, but he always was able to fix the jeep. he pulled his dad out of his alcoholic pit after his mom’s death. he was a problem solver. he was good at it.

but, he didn’t what was broken.

tonight, he intended to find out. he didn’t care if danny beat the shit out of him, or if y/n wouldn’t listen. he’d wait for her to open her ears to his incessant bickering, holding an ice pack to whatever bruises danny had left. he knew she’d break eventually.

if she really was done with him, if she really didn’t want to hear him out, why else had she called him?

–

stiles broke about a billion traffic laws. but he managed to get there, quickly, in one piece.

he couldn’t locate y/n anywhere inside the house, but did find all of her friends dancing in the living room. had they been there the whole time? did they even know y/n was on her own? probably not. you’d think, with a serial killer on the loose, they’d care more about each other’s safety.

his jaw dropped at the sight of them, carelessly floating through the crowd while one of their friends was drunk and alone, in some dark corner of this house. it pissed him off, as did all of the people pushing against him, alcohol sloshing over the rims of their cups and onto his shoes, the smell of sweat, and the sight of teenagers making out against walls, doors, other couples.

he had always hated people, but parties reminded him just how much of that hatred existed within his chest.

stiles checked the upstairs bedrooms, bathrooms, called her name out, down the basement steps, peeked into the empty garage, and even looked inside a pantry in case she’d stuffed herself somewhere like that.

stiles was grateful to, eventually, find her, outside, on the edge of the pool. her sneakers and socks were flung into the yard behind her. she swung her bare feet in the chlorinated water, completely soaking the bottoms of her jeans. y/n’s palms were planted on the concrete beside her thighs, her head thrown back, eyes closed as she swayed to the music. she didn’t seem to have a care in the world.

stiles huffed when he saw her, the deep, worried breath rattling in his chest. “y/n,” he said, hoping to garner her attention. his hands flung about him, as they normally did when he spoke.

she didn’t seem to care that he was there, but she definitely heard him. he knew she had because he watched y/n’s shoulders flinch, ever so slightly, at the sound of her own name.

stiles squatted down beside her, curling a soft hand around her bicep, “y/n, hey-“

she pulled her arm away, as if his hand was made of lava. “go away, stiles.” his hand stilled in the air where she’d pushed it, fingers flexing at the rejection.

stiles then pressed the hand to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut with frustration, impatience. “y/n, please-“

she looked up at him, jaw slack from her drunken state. her eyes looked darkened, the deadly stare enhanced by her ruined makeup. “what the fuck do you want?”

stiles met her eyes. his face softened, concern overwhelmingly her features. just seeing her face, though it was a wreck- it sent goosebumps across his skin. she was so fucking pretty, even though she’d been crying. why had she been crying?

“i want to talk to you-“

“go away,” she waved him off. y/n then pulled her legs from the pool, dripping water all over the concrete. stiles’ eyes moved down her body, ensuring she was in one piece. he noticed the goosebumps all over her bare arms. she was freezing cold.

he stood with her, following her quick feet. “where’s your jacket?” stiles began to pull off his zip up jacket while she grabbed her shoes. he reached out for her arm again. his fingertips on her shoulder felt like a zap of electricity.

y/n flinched away again. she whipped her head back towards him, a deep frown enlisted on her features, “fuck off, stiles! don’t even try pretend like you care about that shit right now! seriously, go the fuck home! i told you not to come!”

stiles took a step away from her. he wished he knew what he had done so fucking badly. he wanted to kiss her eyelids. he wanted to clean off her makeup, wrap her up in his bedsheets, rub circles into her back until she fell asleep, soundly in his hood.

but, all of that couldn’t really be at the forefront of his mind right now. it couldn’t matter. he was here to protect, whether she wanted him there or not. and, she very obviously did not want him at this party. well, too damn bad. he pushed the thoughts aside.

“i’m not going anywhere,” stiles threw his hands up, as if to challenge her. if she wanted him gone, she’d have to drag him out of there. he continued to follow her. she found a chair and sat down in order to put her shoes on. he continued, “look, i don’t know what i did, but you don’t even understand what’s happening in this town. i have to protect-“

“bro, get the fuck away from her!”

stiles felt a pressure against his chest as someone’s abnormally strong had pushed him away from y/n’s presence. she looked up from her shoe laces that she was struggling to tie, brows furrowing at the sound of stiles’ grunt. she watched as stiles stumbled over his feet. he straightened up, quick, and met the eye of his assailant.

“oh, fuck off, dude,” stiles tilted his head to the side, slowly shaking it in annoyance. his jaw clenched, fists flexed at his sides. he took an intimidating step forward.

y/n glanced between stiles and sam owens, taking a deep, shuddering breath. sam puffed out his chest, towering over stiles by a couple of inches. although he was buffer, taller, a couple years older, he didn’t seem nearly as threatening as stiles did. the devilish qualities to his features seemed to heighten themselves in defiance to sam’s presence.

the black haired boy glared his eyes at sam, pupils blown out out with a stormy darkness. she knew it was wrong, but seeing him so angry at sam- y/n couldn’t help but admit that it made her stomach twirl.

they’d never really had the sam talk, at least she hadn’t told him every single thing. she’d mentioned sam, once, when she and stiles were talking about something else. it was offhanded, when she brought him up. danny, however, had spilled his guts to stiles about the short situationship y/n and that “douchebag” had been in all summer.

and stiles was pissed the fuck off. he knew about sam’s girlfriend at college. he knew sam had used y/n for sex over the summer. he knew that sam had told her he loved her right before breaking up with her.

oh, was stiles angry.

that was, after all, his girl now. and nobody was gonna fuck with stiles’ girl. nobody was gonna fuck with stiles.

he stepped forward, now nearly chest to chest with sam, who replied, “who the fuck are you? y/n told you to leave! want me to show you the door, kid?”

“who the fuck am i? watch your mouth, dickhead. you have no fucking business here-“

y/n quickly stood, wary hands before herself, “stiles, it’s not worth it, i promise.” she stalled his words, but stiles wouldn’t even look over at her. his dark eyes bore a hole through sam, and she knew he was probably going to hit him.

y/n, who was now feeling quite sobered up, glanced to the house. she knew that if they started fighting, stiles would get his ass handed to him. sam was a wrestler in college, the best in his weight class. he was a fucking state champion.

so, she needed to get to danny, who was definitely stronger than stiles, at least. he’d probably be able to keep them apart long enough for her to calm stiles down.

but, she didn’t have any time, because sam was mouthing stiles off again. and stiles really was the best at banter. so, he was getting himself into a lot of trouble.

“you put your fucking hands on her, and she told you to stop. makes it my goddamn business-“

“oh, my god, shut the fuck up!” stiles rolled his eyes at sam. he opened his mouth to shoot off some other sarcastic remark when sam reared back a fist and clipped the side of stiles’ face. stiles nearly fall back on the concrete alongside the pool, but he caught himself. having a werewolf as a best friend had taught him a thing or two. so, he was ready to fight.

stiles hit sam in return, most likely breaking his hand- definitely breaking his hand, he knew it. but the punch tossed sam onto the lounge chair behind him. it surprised both stiles and y/n, who had to jump out of the way. she nearly getting taken out by sam’s thrown body.

stiles met her eye and the sight of her, standing there, scared, softened him. he reached for her, closing the distance between then within two long strides. he set his hands on her biceps, ignoring the throbbing pain in his left one. blood dripped from his cracked knuckles, bleeding onto her skin. she clutched onto his elbows in response, any anger for him washed away by fear and worry.

“shit, are you okay? i’m so-“

before he could continue, y/n was shoved to the ground. she scraped her palms, cut her elbow open, and busted her tailbone, hard, on the concrete. she thought she hit her chin, too, but she couldn’t really tell, because y/n’s vision blurred from the fall.

sam tackled stiles to the ground with another punch. they landed in the grass, and went at each other. it took y/n a second to clear her pained head, but she managed to push herself up on her feet. some of their classmates continued partying around them, most just ignoring the fight. but a small crowd gathered to watch it, like it was something exciting, something fun to do. the bystanders made y/n feel sick. nobody was doing anything.

she didn’t even take a second to look at stiles, knowing that seeing him like that would stall her in her tracks. instead, she turned towards jack’s house, danny’s name screeching out of her throat.

she ran inside, feeling like she was pushing through thick, slow jello. she continued to yell out his name. luckily, she found him, on the dance floor still. ethan was there, too. good- he could help.

ethan was already meeting her, setting a kind hand on her arm. “what’s wrong?” his eyes glazed over, and he looked to the side, as though he could hear the fight. he ran outside.

danny shoved through the crowd, towards her. he caught her chin in his hand examining her wounds, “what the fuck happened? what’s going on?”

y/n, breathing heavily, sobbing again, stumbled out, “sam and stiles!”

danny pushed aside as he fell into a run. y/n followed, though the burning of her cuts and scrapes became more intense on her nerves. she seethed a breath between her teeth, stumbling over her feet, but pushed on.

ethan had shoved sam to the grass, though he was getting back up, again. danny immediately lunged in between them before sam could get to stiles. danny sent a harsh punch to sam’s gut, forcing him backwards again. danny then grabbed stiles by the shirt, helped him become balanced on his feet, before danny pushed him away, too. ethan came back in, grabbing stiles around the chest to hold him back, though stiles fought against the tight hold. sam somehow got up, again, clutching his stomach, and jumped towards stiles. danny punched him again and shook out his fist after. the look on his face was annoyed, but also, somehow, vengeful. he had been waiting all summer, all of fall, to punch this motherfucker.

“fuck you guys!” sam spat at danny and stiles from his knees, more blood trailing down his already slick chin.

stiles grunted, fighting against ethan’s hold. “you’re a piece of fucking shit! pussy ass bitch-“

“shut the fuck up-“ sam cut him off, then added, “i don’t even give a fuck about that bitch!“

danny shook his head at the words spitting from sam’s mouth. stiles looked angrier, if at all possible. ethan’s hold loosened on him, shocked by the insults sam threw at y/n. ethan did care for her, too, even if he barely knew her. she was everything to danny.

all three boys were seething with anger. sam had called her a bitch, and they did not like that.

sam simply smirked up at them, his words and expression challenging them. he went to wipe his mouth with his sleeve, but he didn’t get a chance to even take another breath because danny had lunged after him again.

ethan let go of stiles, purposefully, and the boy followed suit. ethan, a little more controlled- even though the situation pissed him off, too- grabbed danny, but not before allowing him to get a few punches in.

y/n ran forward and tried to grab stiles’ arm. she failed, and instead tripped over his shoe. she tumbled into the grass. she quickly pulled herself up, again. when she looked for stiles, she saw him being restricted again, this time by scott’s arm. she didn’t know when he had arrived, but she was glad for the extra help.

it made her heart swell that all of these men cared about her so much to fight sam like they were, but it really needed to end already. it shouldn’t have even gotten out of hand in the first place. she was nauseous, hurting in all of the places she’d been wounded, and extremely tired from the alcohol still coursing through her system.

y/n stood up. scott was rushing out words to his friend, “hey! stiles! stiles, cmon, dude! calm down! stiles!”

“stiles!” y/n called. she crouched down in front of him, reaching for his face.

stiles finally met her eyes and a steady rhythm graciously caught his breath. she cupped his jaw in her delicate fingers. his blood smeared across his face, all over her hands.

a few tears ran down his face, falling into her palms. she didn’t know why he was crying, if it was because of his injuries or his anger. but she wiped them away with her thumbs.

“it’s okay, baby,” she whispered, for only him to hear. “i’m okay, it’s okay. please, just calm down.”

scott, who had let go of stiles, turned to sam, who was standing up from the ground. scott was charismatic, and could usually easily demand people. he put out a cautious hand towards sam, “leave it, buddy. just leave it, trust me,” scott warned him.

stiles slumped forward, on his knees. y/n squatted, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. she used all of her strength to stand them up, brushing the sweaty, bloody hair from his face. sam watched her tenderness as she cared for stiles, feeling a surge of jealousy. sam knew he didn’t want her. he knew he had willingly given her up. but, that didn’t mean he wanted anybody else to get to have her.

so, just when it seemed like it was over, sam scoffed, “yeah, you’re right. i’ll leave it. she’s not worth it. she’s just an easy fuck and a cheap ass date-“

now, scott was angry. he roared, and y/n thought she saw his eyes flash a bright red. he went after sam, just to shut his stupid fucking mouth. he swept past y/n and stiles, who clutched onto her waistline protectively. he tried to duck them out of the way, but his foot skidded over the concrete, and they tripped towards the water.

she yelped, clutching onto his neck, as they fell into the pool. the water enveloped them, but tore them from one another. y/n kicked her feet sporadically, shocked by the cold, by the alarming fall they’d taken. she grabbed for stiles’ shirt and gratefully felt his hands fluttering for her hips.

she blew out a lot of bubbles, struggling to hold her breath from all of the shock. stiles tugged her tightly against him, again, and swam them to the surface. y/n wrapped her legs around his waist and clutched onto his shoulders. she was shaking, with fear, with pain, from the cold water nipping at her skin. it was all so much all at once that she just laughed.

stiles stared at her as she tossed her head back, giggling like a maniac. he furrowed hit brows, jutted his chin out, “what are you laughing about?”

y/n barely met his eye, continuing to laugh at the fucked up situation. “this is just so stupid!”

he remembered she was drunk and tapped her hip, “okay, let’s get you out of here-“

“it’s stupid, stiles!” she slapped a hand down onto his shoulder. “you’re stupid! that fight was fucking stupid! sam’s stupid! this night is stupid! i’m stupid!”

“why am i- why are you stupid?” he didn’t want to make it all about him. she was clearly grappling with something, something she needed to talk out.

she couldn’t continue to push everything away, including him. “i’m stupid! i let you and that stupid boy fuck up everything! i let it happen not once, but twice! what is it- fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? i’m a fool! you and sam are, like- oh, my god, im just stupid. and that was so fucking stupid- you and sam fighting over me! you guys fought over me, but both of you are the reason im so fucked up in the first place! it’s your guys’ fault and you just had some stupid pissing contest-!”

“me and sam?” stiles sounded out his words carefully, working through her rambles in his fuzzy head.

the night she’d ran out of his house, in a craze, a mess because of his phone blowing up- what had triggered that?

who had called stiles that night? who had been blowing up his phone? was it-

it was lydia.

lydia, the girl everyone at beacon hills high knew he’d had a major crush on for, like basically, ever.

y/n must have looked at his phone. she must have put together, based off of the texts he’d been sent, based off all of the context clues laying right in front of him, that he and lydia were together.

meanwhile, am had had a girlfriend the entire time he and y/n had gone out. every day, he’d see his girlfriend. then, usually on the weekends, when it was dark, he’d bring y/n out like a toy.

y/n thought stiles was just like sam. y/n thought stiles was using her.

she had no clue that she was everything and the sun to him. she had no clue that he needed her like water, that he craved her like wine. she didn’t know that he spent every night rereading their texts, analyzing their conversations, going over their interactions, decoding everything to find a way for her to love him despite her hurt, despite what they agreed on.

she was used to being broken by people who claimed to love her, and stiles was just another part of that system.

so, he needed to tell. right now.

stiles gripped onto her hips, shaking her body just once so she’d meet his eyes. “listen-“

“no, just- get me out-“

“y/n, you beautiful, gorgeous, sweet woman- just listen to me! okay? just listen!” stiles demanded, “i’m not with lydia, alright? i’ve never been with her. i don’t want her- i’m in-“

“stiles!” scott called his name from above, standing at the edge of the pool. his eyes still glowed red, his face was still morphed into that of a wolf. scott’s chest puffed out, in, heavily, with deep, ragged breaths.

stiles knew something was wrong based off of his friend’s demeanor.

“we have to get to the school. lydia’s in trouble.”

stiles looked to y/n, who’s face had lit up from the possibility of stiles’ words. her expression morphed into confusion. he wanted to say something, to say sorry. but, he couldn’t. he couldn’t focus.

so, y/n took her turn to speak, graciously replying with, “stiles, i know there’s so much that you’re still hiding from me-“ she glanced up at scott, who tilted his head with shame, “so, i’m coming with you. if you want me to trust you, i have to come with you. i have to know.”

stiles knew she was right.

so he drug her, head first, into the world of the supernatural.

stiles stilinksi: breakable heaven; pt. 6, “i’m always waiting for you just to cut to the bone. it’s cool, that’s what i tell ‘em. no rules, in breakable heaven.”

a/n: angsty chapter for u. prepare to be frustrated and emo.

tagging: @ariianelle

stiles: i’m glad to know you. just wanted to tell you that.

y/n: :) that made my day, thank you

y/n: i’ve got to get to work, but i’ll text later :)

stiles: have a good shift!

stiles: not sure if you'll see this, but dad wanted to go out to dinner, so i guess i'll see you soon. try not to picture me naked when i'm ordering ;)

–

"y/n, finish up that table, then i'm cutting you. too many people on tonight, okay?"

y/n looked up from the pile of silverware she was wrapping. she was excited by her manager's words, so she smiled- though, in the restaurant business, false promises were often made. she was skeptical.

so, she asked,"really?" he nodded back at her before moving along. y/n was ecstatic.

it was a saturday night, and, usually, when she got off, it was nearly 11pm. she never liked going anywhere that late. so, getting out this early meant she could head over to danny's. her friends had texted in the groupchat about watching a movie. now, she could include herself in the plans, too.

y/n's table was waiting for their food still, so she went into the kitchen to check on it. luckily, it was all done. she loaded it all onto a tray, before balancing it on her palm, and taking it out into the dining room.

as she walked through the restaurant, y/n just so happened to lay eyes on none other than stiles stilinski and his dad, the sheriff. she nearly tripped over her own two feet at the sight. she clearly hadn’t gotten stiles’ text. he met her eye and smiled awkwardly, his hand waving in a small, shy manner. the sheriff was ordering his food, so he hadn’t noticed the interaction.

y/n smiled, half-heartedly, and unloaded the tray at her table. she was thrown off just a little. he seemed to do that to her, quite often- throw her off balance. "i'll be around if you need anything else, alrighty?" she glanced over at stiles a few times throughout her cadence, "okay, enjoy your food! thank you so much."

she bee-lined for the server station and dropped her tray off. then, looking back up, she met stiles’ gaze again. she felt tingly with anticipation, excitement, especially he met her gaze again and grinned.

he had a devilish quality to his smile. it was something about how his lips creased his cheeks, something about the glint in his dark eyes. it was mischievous and taunting.

y/n jerked her chin towards the back of the restaurant, where the bathrooms were. it was an empty area right now, even though it was a saturday, and offered them an out-of-view spot for a quick greeting. stiles nodded and excused himself from the table.

y/n leaned up against one of the booths, a confused, yet delighted expression on her face. she watched stiles round the corner, grinning, now, fingers nervously tugging on the sleeves of his hoodie. that smile made her heart beat quicker.

she hadn't seen him much this week because they were both busy- y/n studying and working, stiles fighting off the supernatural and struggling to keep himself sane.

of course, they'd still found time to see each other. like, on wednesday, when stiles came over after school. they had sex, and then he actually stayed. he stayed and held her until the sun set. and, they talked, though half asleep, about whatever came to mind- his mom, her plans for college. private things that only close friends- possibly more- would discuss. there was a moment where stiles felt so secure and trusting of her that he almost slipped, almost told her about everything with scott, lydia, everyone. but telling her meant dragging her into his mess.

and, she was becoming somebody he could not lose.

so he was still torn on that decision.

instead, he talked about his friends in a distant manner, one that left out any big plot lines. y/n still tried not to feel insecure when he brought up lydia. she noticed, when he revealed more and more, that stiles hung out with lydia a lot more than he hung out with y/n. it was a small detail that she shouldn’t have even lingered out in her head- but, especially since last sunday, y/n felt any and all defenses had fallen down. she was attached, so deeply now. she was reading between every line, analyzing every detail.

but, she couldn’t be mad about who he hung out with. she couldn’t feel jealous- even if she was- because it didn’t matter what feelings y/n had. that wasn’t what they had agreed. no matter how many of his sweet gestures and words, they had still not established any kind of relationship, label, anything.

he just wasn’t hers to lose.

eventually, that wednesday evening, the soft light and lowered volume of y/n's television hazily drew them to sleep. when they woke, it was 5am. school would start in just three hours. they headed, barely awake to be aware of themselves, to the front door- y/n adorned in stiles' lacrosse hoodie again. she didn't have enough consciousness to stop herself from hugging him goodbye.

or to even process the fact that he kissed her on the forehead.

later in the day, in the middle of english, the moment clicked in her brain. she couldn’t think about anything else for the rest of the week.

y/n wanted to tell danny about it- but he’d instill a fear in her, or maybe even a hope that wouldn’t bring any good. because, it was moments like that where y/n was sure she had him.

moments of tenderness, connection.

but, alas…

"i texted you," stiles kicked his shoe against the carpeting of the restaurant.

y/n raised her brows, "oh, yeah?"

"to warn you," he shrugged, "i didn't want you to think i was stalking you."

y/n replied with a giggle, "you'e one of the few people i'd be okay with stalking me."

stiles chuckled, glancing, up and down, at his shoes, cheekily. "listen, uh, i don't know what you're doing after this...but would you wanna hang? i know your parents are home, but my house is free. we wouldn't even have to slum it in the jeep. my dad has to go into the station.”

y/n straightened her back, perked up by the plans he was making. "yeah, that's actually...yeah. i'd love to."

screw watching a movie with her friends; she'd rather see stiles.

"i actually get off as soon as this table leaves. don't know if i told you, but my car's in the shop, so my mom has to come get me. would you mind picking me up from my house later?"

stiles glanced back at his dad. "yeah, uh," he met her eye, his smile morphing into something nervous, "that works. i know you've probably met my dad, but you should come over and say hi. he'd love it."

y/n's mouth dried out a little. she swallowed thickly, "oh, maybe. yeah. that would be nice." meeting his dad.

he wanted her to meet his dad.

that was, sure as hell, a clear sign of attachment.

"no pressure," stiles set his hands out in the air between them. "sorry if that was weird. i know that's not- that's not...yeah. just, forget it. i'll see you later? text me."

“wait,” y/n grabbed his forearm, “i want to.” she met his eyes. it was a firm decision on her part.

meeting stiles’ dad shifted things just a little bit further. she was growing more distressed about everything going on between them. she needed answers, but didn’t even know what questions to ask.

but, then stiles moved his hand, slid his arm up till his fingers were in hers, and she relaxed a little. “okay.”

she had to drop his hand when they turned the corner because y/n didn’t want to get in trouble with her boss. immediately, her skin was cold. stiles led her to their table in the back corner of the restaurant. she didn’t notice, but he flexed his fingers, feeling the ache of the loss of her in his hold.

“dad,” stiles patted his shoulder as they walked past the sheriff, settling, on their feet, across the table.

the sheriff looked up from his phone and immediately smiled, the expression morphing his face to look almost identical to his son. y/n grinned at the resemblance. “hey, who’s this?” the sheriff stood on his feet, and shook y/n’s hand heartily.

“i’m y/n, i’m-“ she glanced at stiles’, her smile dropping. what was she to him?

what was this to stiles? there was a question, finally.

“we go to school together,” stiles simply said. he didn’t know what to call it.

though he knew what he wanted to.

y/n tried not to give much depth to the statement stiles made. she knew as well as he did that there wasn’t much else he could say without blurring lines and throwing things off. she put a pin in it.

“well, it’s nice to meet you, sweetheart,” sheriff patted their joint hands with his other one.

y/n nodded, “you, too. i’ve heard a lot about you.”

sheriff shot stiles a look, “all good things, i hope?”

“always,” she assured him with a gentle laugh.

“how long you been working here?” sheriff proceeded to ask one of the basic questions all dads would inquire about.

“about two years. i was the hostess before i turned 18 a few months ago,” y/n explained, motioning to the entrance of the restaurant.

sheriff shoved his hands in his pockets, “oh, i recognize you now. me and the deputies used to grab food here a lot. things are a bit busier now, so that’s not really a possibility, anymore.”

“i remember that!” y/n nodded. “you’re a rowdy bunch!”

sheriff laughed, “oh, don’t i know it. they let you eat on shift? stiles, why don’t you buy this young lady some dinner?”

stiles raised his hands defensively, his dad’s tone a playful offense towards him. y/n set a hand on stiles’ wrist, laughing, “no, you’re okay! i get off soon, actually.”

“how soon? why don’t you join us?” sheriff continued. he probably wouldn’t leave the poor girl alone until he bought her something.

y/n glanced over at her table, who looked to already be finishing up. “probably here in, like, ten minutes?” she looked to stiles, to see if he’d permit the change of plans.

he shrugged, “don’t let him pressure you.” while y/n didn’t know what he was thinking, stiles was aware of the flustered feelings flurrying in his mind.

y/n giggled, rolling her eyes, “i’d love to join you guys. i’ll be back, okay?”

sheriff asked, before she could leave, “well, what’re ya eating?”

she thought for a moment, then gave him her usual food order. sheriff forced stiles to go find their waitress. y/n offered to lead him to the server station, where she was probably doing something.

“he likes you,” stiles murmured as he followed y/n. he pushed the sleeves of his jacket to his elbows, feeling warm for some reason.

y/n turned back to him with a smug expression, “i’m likable.”

stiles snorted, a light smile taking over his face. “you are.”

they shared a flickered look, for just a short moment. it was interrupted by y/n’s coworker, who had a question about something minuscule. she excused herself, smile now tightened by her lips.

the gaze they had exchanged soaked across their skin longer than it had lasted. the air between their eyes was heavy with anticipation and questioning.

still, confusion lingered.

but, dinner ended up being a lot of fun. they sat there for two hours, laughing, chatting about school, especially y/n’s plans for her future. the sheriff was quite interested in her education, like any good parent would be, and supportive of the dreams she shared.

y/n told them how she wanted to go to seattle, how she wanted to study psychology and one day become a forensic scientist. it was something silly that she was sometimes insecure to bring up with some, but the sheriff was fascinated.

stiles, however, was shocked by this. it was a piece of information he had yet to learn about her.

he watched her talk passionately about the subject, her eyes glazed over in excitement. sheriff told her a lot about the schooling process, since most of his deputies had gone to school for something like that. and, he’d been in the business a long time. he gave her helpful advice that she was more than grateful for.

the sheriff listened intently to y/n, but still noticed how his son’s eyes lit up with absolute adoration.

the entire evening was wonderful. it left both of them feeling full, happy.

y/n was nearly sure that, after this dinner, stiles would say something. he would do something. he’d confess that he wanted her in every way he could, he’d ask her to be his, and the fairytale ending would come. he had to.

oh, how wrong she would be.

-

later, after she went home, showered and changed into something a little more comfortable, y/n texted stiles that she was ready to leave. he replied, immediately, that he was on the way.

y/n waited patiently in the entryway of her house. she heard her parents upstairs, who were drinking wine and watching television. yesterday, they’d finally been able to go out to dinner as a family. she resented them, sometimes, for how little their presence was in her life. but, in moments like this, right now, she was just happy to listen to the distant muffle of their favorite show, to their laughter and love pouring down the hallway and stairs. she didn’t feel alone. the house didn’t feel empty. love felt like it was pricking at her fingertips.

stiles' headlights arched across the windows as he pulled into her driveway. y/n grabbed her bag- packed this time with overnight items, just in case what happened wednesday happened again. she at least hoped it would.

she locked the front door behind her. as she neared the jeep, stiles hopped out and walked around to open the passenger side for her.

y/n smiled up at him, happy to be standing so close to him again, "sorry my hair is wet still. i didn't have time to dry it."

stiles looked taken aback by her apology. he gently took the bag off her shoulder as he replied, "there's no reason to be sorry. you look...pretty, still."

she blushed, "thanks." she was now positive something was going to happen, something good. it filled her with the kind of energetic hope that gave her a head rush.

as she climbed into the jeep, her hair brushed near stiles' face. the smell of her shampoo was so prominent because she had just taken a shower. it made his knees weak.

stiles shut her door behind her, then went to his side of the car. he put her bag in the back seat.

carrying it, he realized that she was planning on spending the night.

this fact, combined with her smell, and the way she looked sitting in his jeep- it all brought elation to his already heightened mood.

tonight, he would tell her.

he would tell her everything. about scott, lydia, allison, isaac. about the supernatural, about the strange town they lived in.

he trusted her. he cared for her. and he could not protect her how he should if she didn’t know. (sure, he’d forced scott, lydia, and allison to each drjve by her house every once and a while to ensure things seemed calm. but that wasn’t good enough.)

most importantly, he was going to tell y/n of his feelings for her.

once they settled in at the stilinksi residence, stiles finally got to show y/n around his bedroom. this, he was most excited for. his room was a proper display of his personality, decorated by his life’s blood and growth.

y/n was mostly enamored by all of the red string he had pinned up in the walls, at the many piles of casework he probably should not have access to laying around his desk and floor. even though it was hectic, the layout made complete sense, because it was stiles. she felt like she was seeing a piece of his soul that he kept tucked away.

and he was- stiles didn’t usually have people over. just scott, lydia once or twice. she was special.

he’d been forced to clean up before she came, in order to hide away all of the evidence of the supernatural- like the pictures of dead bodies now stuffed underneath his bed. it was still messy, and he kept apologizing, breathlessly shoving things away. but, she didn’t mind. she told him to stop. stiles liked that y/n never really minded any of the things he thought were obvious flaws about himself.

soon after, they settled into his bed to watch a movie. y/n begrudgingly agreed to watch the first halloween, much to stiles delight. he nearly kissed her with excitement once she finally gave in to his badgering. y/n noticed this.

though they were watching a slasher film, it was peaceful. they leaned back against headboard, shoulder to shoulder. though they usually ached to touch one another, both were comfortable with the warmth radiating between their parallel bodies.

thirty minutes into the movie, though, his phone started buzzing, rapidly, with text message after text message. stiles didn’t even read the screen. he knew it would be scott or lydia with some dead end lead that he just didn’t want to follow right now. the week had been long. he needed to be human for two hours. he needed to bask in her radiance.

stiles turned it on silent, mumbling out an apology.

y/n,shrugged him off. at first, she didn’t think of anything. but, then, her skepticism started when, ten minutes later, he started checking his screen, with his phone tilted away from any prying eyes- her prying eyes.

“everything okay?” y/n shifted on the bed, crossing her arms over herself.

stiles flinched at the sound of her movement, worried she would glance over and see words that would probably send her running. lydia was messaging him about another dead body. throat slit. scott was also sending texts about the alpha pack. not anything a teenage girl would be too into.

“yep,” he set his phone down, accidentally loudly, on the bedside table. stiles tried to get comfortable, again, though now his heart was pumping with anxiety.

stiles reached out his hand and set it on her thigh. he glanced over at her, grinning. touching her helped draw him back down to earth. y/n met his look, relaxed a little, and leaned her shoulder into his.

stiles turned to her completely, then, gently took her face into his hands. he kissed her.

she responded immediately, arching her body up into his. y/n wrapped her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers into his hair, touching the side of his neck. she felt his heartbeat there. it was so fast. she just assumed it was because of making out with her, but it also because of the threat lingering in the air of beacon hills. as they continued to move against each other, he calmed down more and more.

stiles hand slid his other hand up her leg and around her hip, just under her shirt. his mind wandered, for just a moment, as to where his lacrosse hoodie that he had let her borrow was. then, an image of her, cradled in it, sleeping softly in her bed, flashed through his mind. the romantic thought intensified the passion in his touch. y/n felt the electricity burn hotter.

this time was so different than the rest. there was a tenderness in stiles, in his lips, that y/n hadn't ever felt before. it was fueled by something other than just lust, more than a want- it was a need. a need for her, like she was a drug, and he was an addict. she both sobered him up and brought him to the best high of his life. stiles felt it- the ache in his chest when she was away, the whole of it stitching back up in moments like this.

the encounter was borderline love-making.

after it was over, stiles tugged y/n into his arms, holding her closely to his chest. she let him pull her wherever he needed her to be, curling into his body easily.

he ran his fingers through her hair, gently brushing out tangles. the caresses nearly put her to sleep. then, stiles’ spoke, his voice low and close to her ear since his cheek was pressed against her head, “i’ll get up in a second and get you towel.”

she hummed in response, “can you grab me some water, too, please?” her mouth was dry.

stiles nodded, “anything, baby.”

it was just two words, barely an entire sentence, but it meant so much to her. it shocked her nervous system. woke her up.

and it solidified everything for the both of them.

y/n cleaned up once stiles got her a towel. then, he went down to the kitchen to grab her a water bottle as well. while he was gone, she slipped into another one of his hoodies. she sat on the edge of the bed, legs dangling. she hadn’t noticed before, but stiles phone had continued to buzz. it broke her peace.

y/n looked at it. the phone stared back, dauntingly.

she shouldn’t- it wasn’t her place.

she wasn’t that type of girl.

she couldn’t let what sam had done to her be the baseline for every single relationship for the rest of her life. she couldn’t let his stupid decisions ruin her trust for every other guy she’d meet.

especially not stiles. he meant too much to her for sam’s mistakes to demand behaviors from her that would surely ruin it.

but, then it buzzed again. the taunting anxiety and fear washed over her.

what if he was like sam?

she had to know.

y/n looked around, ensuring she really was still alone in his bedroom. she reached out a hand that was beginning to shake and turned the phone over. it was screen down- another giant, waving, teasing red flag.

she retracted her hand like she’d touched a flame.

the screen was black. she stared, blankly, waiting for something to happen. it buzzed again, stirring the silence, lighting up the home screen, and she flinched. the picture behind the notifications was of stiles and his dad. the grin on stiles’ face almost made her smile. but, then, a series of texts popped up.

lydia: where are you????

lydia: need you

lydia: please

ten other texts sat beneath these. she didn’t need to open them.

they were ten texts from lydia.

ten texts in a row from lydia.

y/n’s throat felt tight. she quickly flipped the phone back over, stood from the bed, and started getting dressed, in her own clothes, this time. she was determined to get out of there as quick as she could. she texted danny in the process.

her shirt had landed on stiles desk. she picked it up, tugged it on like a layer of protection against everything. she noticed it had knocked over the picture frame stiles had on his desk. y/n touched it, carefully situating it upright. as she did so, y/n saw lydia’s signature on the back of the drawing.

tears welled up in her eyes.

of course she’d been right again.

stiles came back as soon as she started to pull her shoes on. he paused at the door, clutching her water between his whitening fingers. he was nervous from the pace at which she moved. his eyes followed her around the room as she collected her bag. he attempted to decipher her behavior. what had happened?

“hey,” he called out. she didn’t look up. she didn’t reply. “here’s your water.”

“danny’s coming to get me,” y/n murmured. she shouldered her bag, finally. it overflowing because her things were stuffed messily inside.

“what?” stiles stepped towards her, dark eyes and brows furrowing.

y/n barely met his stare before looking away, “he’ll give you your hoodie back.” she was afraid that if she looked for too long, she’d give in.

“i want you to keep it-“

“monday, probably.”

then, y/n walked right past him, out the door of his bedroom. he turned as she went through, wanting to stop her. but, stiles’ phone started ringing on the bedside table. her steps faltered. she glanced back. stiles glanced at his phone with a distant look. he quickly grabbed it, eliciting a sickened chuckle from her lips.

stiles was completely and utterly confused. he didn’t know what he’d down wrong.

he denied the call, but scrolled through the messages as he chased her down the stairs, hoping answers lay there. stiles was having trouble processing all of the information being thrown at him. he was overwhelmed.

but, from what he understood, he needed to get to the school. lydia was in trouble. he couldn’t ignore the problem this time. they needed his help.

before that, though, he needed to stop y/n. he needed to tell her everything. he still didn’t understand what he’d done to majorly fuck things up right now, to chase her away- but maybe telling her how he felt would help.

“y/n, let me take you home. we can- we can talk about things-“

“don’t,” she had reached the front door, and was ready to run. but, she had turned back to interrupt him as he stumbled over his words. she didn’t want to hear his pathetic excuses.

“don’t what?” he was breathless. “what did i do? what are you talking about?”

y/n’s tears were spilling over her eyes. stiles frowned and reached out a hand. he needed to comfort her, needed to wipe away her tears. his fingers nearly touched her cheek. y/n snapped herself out of leaning into his wanting embrace. she slapped his hand away. stiles flinched back.

“i’m not fucking stupid. don’t play that game with me.”

stiles’ shoulders slouched. he clutched his phone, knuckles white. it continued buzzing. y/n looked down at it. she rolled her eyes and turned back towards the door. her hand clutched the doorknob.

“i’m not playing a game,” stiles stepped forward again, voice lowered from the fear that it would crack. “please, talk-“

y/n was about to turn back to face him, just to argue and fight him, but his phone started ringing. she did look up at him, just to give him an expectant glare, brows raised.

this would answer everything for her, if he took the call, if he chose lydia over her.

he stared back, juggling the device between his hands. stiles didn’t want to answer the phone call from lydia because that would end the fight. he would have to stand there and watch y/n walk out of the door. he needed to fix things with her before she left.

but, then, though the last call had ended, lydia started calling again.

stiles huffed, an apologetic look in his eyes as he answered, “hey, lydia- yeah, i’m on my way.”

he maintained sickening eye contact with her as he hung up the phone. a breath choked out of her throat. she turned on her heel, slammed the front door behind her back, just as danny pulled into the driveway.

stiles had seen this movie before, and he didn’t like the ending.

and, y/n had tried to change the ending this time around, but peter always lost wendy, and wendy had always had to leave neverland.

stiles stilinksi: breakable heaven; part 5, “i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you.”

a/n: enjoy this bc it’s gonna be sad boi hours in the next part ;)

tagging: @ariianelle

the world shifted, just a little bit.

stiles and y/n found themselves spending a lot more time together. granted, that time was often under the sheets, in a locked car, or- just once- in the locker room after a game. nonetheless, the skin on skin contact always led to conversations, conversations that were deepening in content. they were getting to know each other, forming an attachment both swore would never even exist.

as the time passed, they each found solace in one another, a comfort, a sort of destressor that neither was able to substitute with anyone or anything else. neither were aware of this, but it was as present as the air.

y/n's parents were always out of town, and, while she didn’t have any doubts that they loved and supported her, they were absentee. they missed out on the everyday moments in her life. so, she was usually all by herself through it all. sure, danny came over every once and while, but there were still those periods of time where she was left, literally in the middle of nowhere, all alone. stiles was a warm body to sit next to, an attentive ear to listen to her troubles or woes, without judgement or expectations. he was just there. whenever she needed or wanted.

and, for stiles, y/n was just a human being. she didn't have claws, fangs, premonitions about his friends' deaths, or any other intense, supernatural features. this fact he was positive of since he’d had both scott and derek invade and smell her locker to ensure she was really a living, breathing, human girl.

with all he had to deal with, every single day, he was grateful to get to act like a normal teenage boy some days out of the week. laughing instead of fighting for his life, watching movies instead of drawing up investigation boards.

today was one of those bad days, for the both of them. a bad day where they just needed each other.

the number of killings in beacon hills was rising, rapidly, day by grueling day. and there wasn’t much stiles could do to help. he could ramble, on and on, about the mindless theories rattling around inside his head. he could tag along to random warehouses and parking lots, only to hide away once the real conflict began.

but, he was overall useless to the entire process.

it made his shoulders a little heavier some days, to know he had no control over anything anymore. scott could take away pain, lydia could help save somebody before they died, allison could shoot down three different wolves with the same arrow.

stiles could only talk.

today was one of those days where he just felt kind of shitty about it all.

dr. deaton was missing. and there wasn’t much of anything stiles could do to help. he felt like he always just got in the way.

y/n was in a similar boat.

her parents were out of town for the third week now. they’d promised to be home this past weekend, and had talked y/n up with a week full of dinners, family outings, a visit to her school, normal things that parents normally did with their normal children. of course, they’d cancelled on her last minute because of some conference across the world. she’d asked danny to come stay for the week, but he said he couldn’t. he was going out of town with ethan.

she felt abandoned.

usually, y/n would sulk, by herself, with take out, a round of depressing movies, and homework she didn’t really feel like doing. sometimes, she’d even beg her boss to let her come in for a shift.

but, it was saturday evening, so the staffing was already full for the rest of the night.

so, she texted stiles.

y/n: pls tell me ur bored

stiles: what time?

y/n: anytime :)

stiles: omw gorgeous

–

“alright, i’ve got it.”

stiles plopped down onto the couch beside y/n, bowl of popcorn in left hand, a can of dr. pepper in the right. he crossed his ankles and stretched his legs onto the coffee table. y/n sat criss-cross beside him and extended part of the blanket she wore onto his lap. stiles set the bowl down atop his covered thighs.

“oh, yeah, what’s that?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink.

y/n pointed to the television, and he followed her gaze. netflix was open on the bright screen, with a movie queued up. “the first scream.”

stiles nodded appreciatively, until she added, “aka, the best slasher film of all time.”

he squinted his face and shook his head rapidly, “i cannot believe you just said that!”

y/n giggled at his expression, “don’t even argue with me right now!”

“it’s hard not to argue with someone who is so blatantly wrong!” he replied.

y/n stole the popcorn from his lap, “thats not even a good counter. at least make a decent rebuttal!”

“okay,” he peered over at her with a matter-of-fact look, “halloween is the best slasher because;” he counted each point off on his fingers, it has a cooler villain, better kill sequences, and the hottest final girl.”

y/n rolled her eyes, and shoved his shoulder with her own, “you just like it cause of jamie lee curtis’ boob scene.”

stiles pursed his lips, “they are pretty great.”

“but they didn’t need to add nudity to that movie! that’s so sexist and gross to support that idea, you pig.”

stiles stole a handful of popcorn, shoveling it into his mouth. “what can i say, im a boob guy.”

if she didn’t know him so well, she’d think stiles, in this moment, was kinda gross. but, she recognized his humor better than most. she appreciated that it was sarcasm. and, he kinda looked cute with his cheeks full of popcorn.

y/n blushed at the comment, looking down slightly, “oh, i know.” boy, did she.

he tapped the edge of the bowl, garnering her attention again, “don’t do that.”

her brows furrowed, meeting his eyes, “do what?”

“don’t be dirty. i don’t think we’ll make it through the movie if you start acting up.” as his words drifted out, stiles’ tone of voice lowered. he leaned his head closer to hers and the corner of his lips turned up in a devilish smirk.

y/n grinned in response. she grabbed the back of his neck, smashing her lips into his, drawing a sharp breath off his tongue. stiles moaned into her, barely catching the popcorn before it could spill. his other hand clutched his dr. pepper, so he didn’t have much leverage against her advances.

stiles clambered around until he found the coffee table, shoving the popcorn bowl atop it. “wait, wait, wait-“ stiles gently grabbed her biceps, tugging her off of him delicately.

y/n’s face fell instantly. she cowered away, hugging herself with her arms. she thought that was what he wanted, but now it seemed he was mad. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry- i didn’t-“

“no, no, no,” stiles set a wary hand between them. “you didn’t do anything wrong. you’re okay, it’s okay.”

“i’m sorry,” she slouched, frowning. she relaxed a little bit, but the moment still worried her. “i thought that’s what you wanted?”

stiles shook his head and grabbed her hand, holding it between his like a prayer. “no, no- i mean- yes. i want you, i always- want you. but, i don’t- i don’t want you to feel pressured to do that all the time. i want to watch a movie with you. i like just hanging out, too. i don’t just expect sex out of you. that’s not all this is-“

stiles pressed his lips together. he always said too much.

always said too much.

y/n let out a breath she had been holding at the top of her chest. her mind raced with a thousand words she didn’t how to say.

this changed everything. the rules were blurred. the lines were crossed.

and it now seemed that, maybe, just maybe, he wanted her like she wanted him.

all she could say was, “okay.”

she didn’t want to rush things. she didn’t want to force him to label it. she didn’t want to get in over her head, throw her hopes up, and get let down again.

stiles’ worried expression fell into a gentle smile, “okay, hey, i’ll even let you think scream is the best slasher film, just for the night.”

an easy giggle fell out of her. “deal.”

stiles fixed the blanket across their laps that had fallen off slightly, while y/n tucked her legs up onto the seat, cozy against the back of the couch.

he stretched an arm across the back of her seat, inching over to her slyly. y/n bit back a smile and leaned into his side. stiles choked back a cough, a strangled attempt to clear his throat. he set his arm around her, fingers lingering over her shoulder.

the movie started.

it took them a few minutes to loosen after that moment. but, eventually, they fell back into their same routine- stiles made lame jokes, y/n nearly fell over laughing at all of them. he compared scream to halloween, calling out which parts would probably be better with a michael myers killer instead of ghost face. she argued back that he was a sore loser.

eventually, the movie was drawing to a close. the credit scene was just about to roll across the television screen when y/n’s phone started ringing from the coffee table. she jumped slightly, a little spooked from the movie, though she’d seen it a million times.

stiles tossed his head back, laughing over her fright. she shot him a dirty look as she reached for her phone. he took his arm off of her, but patted her thigh in a mocking manner. “don’t worry, i’ll protect you.”

y/n shoved his arm playfully, but her attention was drawn away by the contact showing up on her screen. ethan was calling her.

“give me a second,” she mumbled, leaving the room with confusion written all over face.

stiles watched her go, sitting forward on the couch. her distant tone worried him a moment. he pulled out his own phone, hoping for something from scott. updates, suspects, something. hoping the plague wasn’t going to reach her, too.

his screen was black.

stiles wanted to tell her about everything. maybe he should. it would explain his erratic, anxious, flakey behavior.

but, telling her would bring her into it.

and he didn’t know how well he could protect her.

so, the secret was just his for now.

stiles opened scott’s contact, ready to give him a quick call, just in case, when y/n reentered the room. “hey, everything okay?” he barely glanced up at her, but had to do a double take when he noticed how she looked.

y/n was shaking, visibly, clutching her phone in her right hand, which was still held up near her ear as though she was about to answer the phone again. a few tears escaped her eyes, and her pupils were dilated with fear and sadness.

“y/n?” stiles stood up, slowly, tone rattled.

had his troubles finally plagued her, too? was the one sacred, peaceful thing he had finally tainted by the cruelty of his reality? a million worried, terrified thoughts sped through his mind.

y/n met his eye, “danny’s in the hospital. he-he almost died. hi-his l-lung collapsed.”

stiles moved quickly. he carefully took her by the waist, guided her into a pair of shoes, into his jeep. he stayed attentive to her the entire car ride. he played her taylor swift, nearly sat at a 180° angle while he drove, kept a firm hand on her thigh, and spoke to her in a soothing tone. y/n was nearly mute. she didn’t know what to say or what to do. she was just too stunned.

it was always shocking to discover that death could just come knocking on the door whenever it felt like it.

when they finally reached the hospital, stiles opened the car door for her. she grabbed onto his hand, following him into the building.

no one was allowed to visit with danny, at least not until the morning. unfortunately, his parents were out of town, like y/n’s, and couldn’t get back until monday. so y/n and ethan were all danny had until then.

“so, he’s gonna be okay?” stiles scratched the back of his neck nervously, knee bouncing.

y/n sat beside him in a waiting room chair, clutching his other hand till her knuckles were white. they stared up at melissa, awaiting her answer.

melissa returned their stare them with a kind smile, “he’s gonna be just fine. we’re gonna keep him overnight, just to monitor him. but, he’ll be alright.”

y/n took a deep breath. her head fell back against the wall, eyes squeezing shut in relief. melissa nodded once, reassuring them again, before turning to leave. she squeezed stiles’ shoulder as she went.

stiles turned his body to y/n, taking her hand in both of his. she finally met his eye. he was glad to see hers, the storm within them more weathered now, calmer like the water right after a wave. he smiled slightly.

“hey,” he whispered.

y/n finally smiled back. “hey. i’m…sorry if i freaked you out. i don’t do well with near-death experiences. i’m kind of a pussy.”

she laughed at herself, head dropping down in shane. stiles disagreed quickly, “no, no, hey,” he pushed the hair from y/n’s cheek, cupped her face, guided her eyes back to his, “you’re not a pussy. you’re a human being. you were scared and worried for your friend. i’m not judging for how you reacted. i just want to know you’re okay.”

she nodded, “i’m okay. just- tired, now. that was overwhelming. sitting here for an hour, waiting to hear if my best friend was dead or not.”

stiles brushed his thumb over her cheek, “i know, baby, i know.”

the word slipped so easily off his tongue, that he didn’t notice. y/n did, but she wouldn’t allow herself to get bent out shape over it. there was no time for that right now.

“i’m gonna stay here with him tonight.”

stiles moved his hand back to their entwined ones, “i’ll wait with you.”

y/n shook her head in disagreement, “i can’t ask that-“

“you didn’t ask,” he interrupted her, pointedly.

y/n went to say something else when scott disrupted their moment. he came out of danny’s room, nearly appearing out of thin air. stiles could tell he was on edge.

“stiles, hey, i was just about to call you,” he said, glancing between the both of them. “sorry about danny, y/n.”

“thanks,” she smiled slightly, though she was confused. “how did you get in to see-“

“stiles,” scott pretended to not hear her, turning his attention to his friend, “we need to talk.”

stiles patted y/n’s hand gently, “i’ll be right back, okay?”

he stood to leave her, but she didn’t let go of his hand. she held on until he was too far to reach. before he followed scott down the hall, however, he turned back, shrugging off his jacket.

“i know you’re gonna need this,” he murmured, tucking it around her shoulders.

y/n watched him walk away with scott, a dazed smile on her face.

things might be working out.

–

stiles had to leave. at least, scott needed stiles to leave. derek, isaac, boyd, and cora were planning a trap or something of the sort, and they needed to go help them. stiles needed to go help his friends.

but he didn’t want to.

for the first time in his life, he didn’t want to help. he wanted to stay here, in the hospital, with her. he wanted to hold her hand, sleep in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, until the second they could visit danny. until the sun shone on her beautiful face.

stiles didn’t want to stand on the sidelines while his friends blood splattered across the walls around him. he especially didn’t want to watch somebody die tonight.

but, he didn’t protest when scott ushered him out of the building.

he had to do what he always had to do. it was expected. necessary.

like a sacrifice.

–

y/n tucked danny’s sheets around his chin like a mother would, before standing back to look at her work, proudly.

“you’re clinically insane,” he glared at her. the eye bags drearing his face were more prominent in the lighting coming from the lamp on his bedside table. y/n frowned deeply at the sight of him, so tired, nearly lifeless before her.

“you’re my little baby,” she cooed, sitting down beside him on the bed. it took everything in her not to squeeze his cheeks.

“i am a man,” he denied her.

y/n waved him off, “whatever helps you sleep. listen-“ she stood up, collecting her phone and keys off his bedside table, “i will be right down the hall. do not even hesitate to ask me for anything. water, a hug, maybe some cuddles-“

“go to sleep. you look like a walking corpse.”

y/n felt like one. they’d just gotten home the hospital, and it was 8pm on sunday. the waiting room chair had been uncomfortable, and she had felt a little off with the absence of stiles’ warm hands and soft words. so, she didn’t sleep very well. plus, sitting beside danny’s bed all day while they ran tests just added to the tired stress she was feeling.

but, the solace of his smell on his hoodie, and his sporadic text messages, got her through it all. he checked in once an hour, every hour. his phrasing was short, though, and he didn’t reply very quickly. but, stiles was still there. he was there for her.

now, y/n felt like she was going to collapse. so, she softly shut danny’s door behind her and headed for the guest room. it was right next door. she was too scared to leave him alone, so she was going to stay until his parents got home tomorrow night. she was even skipping school to look after him. ethan was going to stop by in the morning, today, he, apparently, had been caught up with something.

she didn’t really trust him. but that was a problem for another day.

y/n slipped out of her fresh pajama bottoms to get ready for bed because it was usually pretty warm in danny’s house. though she kept stiles’ hoodie on.

that morning, at the hospital, nurse mccall had delivered y/n’s book bag, packed neatly with a few essentials, like pjs, her toothbrush, her phone charger, to danny’s room.

stiles had gone out of his way to ensure she had her things how he’d gotten into her house? she didn’t know, and she didn’t really want to question it. she was just grateful he thought of her at all.

y/n shut the light off and got comfy under the covers. just as she went to shut off her phone, a phone call came through.

stiles.

“hello?” she whispered, voice too tired to speak too loud. y/n lay her head upon the pillow, shoving the phone between her ear and it. she felt her eyes closing.

“hey.”

the sound of his voice brought her so much comfort. the exhaustion was takning over now.

“how are you doing?” was the first thing he asked.

y/n smiled, which was visible through her words as she spoke, “better now.”

“oh, yeah?” stiles teased gently. “i was just checking in. was worried about you.”

“i was worried about you,” she emphasized, “is everything okay? nurse mccall said you had to handle something.”

everything was no okay. stiles had watched derek kill boyd just hours ago. luckily, they’d saved dr. deaton, and found a few more clues that would surely lead them to the serial killer rampaging their town.

but his classmate- his friend- was dead. and he watched it all happen. he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

but, e couldn’t tell her that.

though, she noticed a shift in his voice, “yeah, just something stupid. scott was having girl problems.”

y/n didn’t believe him.

she was noticing more and more that he was always disappearing, running off to do stuff that he wouldn’t tell her about. his cover stories never made much sense, either.

the thought that he was keeping secrets from her made y/n feel wary, made her want to pull away.

but, then he’d say something like, “i’m more worried about you, baby.”

and she was easily pulled back in.

“don’t,” she murmured. her eyes fell all the way shut. she was drifting off to sleep, the sound of his voice a sweet lullaby to her ears.

stiles smiled to himself. he imagined holding her in his arms, brushing the hair from her face as he watched her fall into a beautiful slumber. it comforted him.

but, when he focused his mind again, he was back in the cold, dark animal shelter, which was barren of any good feelings like the ones he could only day dream of for now.

he thought about telling her, again. but after what happened today, he wasn’t feeling very confident about it. he really, really could not lose her.

he just couldn’t.

“you should get to sleep,” stiles spoke.

scott motioned for him. so, stiles added, “i have to get going.”

“i miss you.” y/n was half asleep, completely unconscious to any words falling off her tongue.

stiles’ smiled again. “i miss you, too. hey, i’ll come see you tomorrow, okay? maybe we can watch the next scream.”

she didn’t have the energy to respond.

“you there, y/n?”

no response.

stiles figured she was asleep. “well, since you’re not there, i guess i can say…i really like you.”

y/n heard.

and she’d never tell.

she liked him, too.

but, what secrets was he keeping from her?

stiles stilinksi: breakable heaven; pt. 4, “you say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times, we’re not trying.”

a/n: thank you for all of the love! this takes place at the beginning of season 3, but there's some weird things i chose to do. they're in lacrosse season and cross country at the same time to stay relevant to both mine and the show's plot. also, the season only takes place over like three months, so it's gonna seem fast, though that's how it canonically goes. much love, friends!

trigger warning: this is the motel California episode, so a brief mention of unaliving.

tagging: @ariianelle (dm me if you’d like to be tagged! i lose a lot of comments in my notifs <3)

“can we please play some real music?”

y/n glanced up from her phone, open on the texts between her and danny, to see megan reaching through the front seats, towards the radio. y/n snickered slightly as the drake song switched to a pop station.

leo huffed from the driver’s seat, “baby, we’ve talked about this! driver picks the music!”

“baby,” megan mocked with a silly expression, “i don’t care. i’m not listening to just drake songs for another 5 hours.”

y/n hummed in agreement, “girls rule, boys drool.”

jack scoffed from the passenger seat, “you’re never gonna win that fight, leo.”

megan looked towards her with proud defiance, and offered up her palm for a high five. y/n gave her one, before looking back down to her phone. danny had sent another message.

danny: idk this lower classman looks like he’s about to get hella sick and stiles keep bugging him

y/n: so do you think the bus is gonna stop??? i have to pee soooo badly

danny: lemme ask coach

danny: oh stiles is already asking coach hang on

danny: coach says no

danny: it’s ok if u guys aren’t directly behind us

y/n: no it’s not just that i just don’t wanna be a bother to anybody by having to stop the car. plus leo’s already gonna be in trouble for missing the bus lol

danny: ugh whatever

danny: o fuck lower class man just fucking project uke vomited

danny: see u in a sec lover 😝❤️

–

the big yellow bus donned with the beacon hills school name across the side of it pulled bumpily into a motel parking lot. the inhabitants cringed from both the poor driving and the lingering smell of puke. unlike the rest of them, stiles sat proudly, with an all-too pleased smile on his expression.

y/n bounced in her seat slightly as leo pulled the car into a parking spot. she peered around in an attempt to find a bathroom area. she would’ve used the bathroom back at the rest stop, but leo thought it would be smart to get ahead of the bus.

now, it looked like they’d all be trapped in some motel that looked straight out of that psycho movie.

megan tapped her shoulder and pointed towards the front office. “let’s go ask the lady in there.”

leo had missed the bus for the cross country meet this morning, and since y/n, jack, and megan were already planning on coming out to support him, they carpooled together. they didn’t always make it out to meets, especially not ones hours from home, but they each had free weekends, and thought it would be fun to tag along.

y/n and megan went off to the bathroom, while leo and jack joined the hoard of students. danny, having just collected the key to his room, spotted two of his friends. they waved him over, and danny happily jogged their way.

stiles glanced over at danny as he went. he recognized jack and leo and peered around for megan, maybe even y/n. she hadnt responded to his text, the one he sent on tuesday, the day after their encounter in the jeep. he apologized for rushing out of there so quickly. but she hadn’t even read it.

scott said something, drawing stiles attention away. they went off to find their room, lydia and allison, isaac and boyd, closely behind them. just as they found the external stairs, y/n and megan came trotting out of the front office.

danny saw his best friend over jack’s shoulder and lit up. “oh, my love!”

y/n grinned and jumped up on the toes of her shoes. “hello, handsome!” she hugged him.

“listen,” leo cut into their moment, pointing over to coach finstock. “i’m gonna go see if coach will get us a room, since i’m supposed to be on that bus anyways.”

megan latched onto his hand, “i’ll come with!”

danny, y/n, and jack waved after them. y/n sighed, and glanced around the crowd of students, who were breaking off into groups. danny followed her gaze and snorted with a smirk.

“what?” she glanced up at him.

“he just went to find his room,” danny pointed towards the stairs behind them. “wanna go say hi?”

y/n waved him off, quickly, antsy on her feet, “no, no. that’s not what we agreed on, remember? i am staying away.”

danny nodded his head, slow, as if he didn’t really believe her. “we’ll see how long that lasts.”

y/n scoffed and punched his shoulder. “i mean it, you ass. mindless sex is the last thing i need right now.”

jack looked up from his phone, “who’s having mindless sex?”

y/n waved him off, “literally nobody.”

“i think you should,” jack shrugged, looking back down at his phone.

she crossed her arms and popped a hip, “excuse me?”

jack glanced back up, “i’m just saying. you spent how long moping over sam. best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else.”

at the mention of sam, y/n usually felt her chest constrict slightly. it happened this time, too, like the trigger of his name blew out all her defenses. but, she recovered quickly.

that had been happening a lot more lately- recovery. he didn’t have as much a hold on her anymore.

danny snickered at jack’s words, “oh, you have no idea-“

y/n shoved danny harshly. “would you two shut the fuck up? my sex life is not public business.”

“of lack, thereof,” jack mumbled to himself.

y/n went to clap back, when megan and leo showed back up with a singular room key. leo held it up between his fingers, and wiggled it, “could only get one, but- room 216.”

“thank god,” jack took the key from leo, “i could use a shower.”

he led the way to the stairs, and megan and leo followed closely behind. y/n started after them, but faltered her steps once she realized. megan would want to sleep with leo, leaving the only other open bed in jack’s name. he’d say it’s not big deal, that they could sleep in the same bed no problem. but, even though they’d been in the same friend group for a few years now, she didn’t trust him all that much.

she turned back to danny, “please, please, please let me stay in your room with you-?”

danny looked down at her, shoulders dropping as he noticed her eyes turn up in a sappy, puppy-dog manner. he rolled his eyes, “of course you can, you don’t have to make that pathetic face. i’m rooming with ethan, but he doesn’t care. let’s go.”

danny called over the new kid and explained the rooming situation to him. he was completely okay with it, and introduced himself to y/n formally. she’d seen him around and heard about him, but this was the first she’d spoken to him. he was friendly enough.

y/n followed danny and ethan up the stairs. they ran into megan, jack, and leo and passed on the rooming news to them. then, just as they began moving along, the door beside them popped open. scott and stiles piled out.

y/n, frivolous and non-confrontational, did a two-step around ethan, slotting herself beside danny and the railing. stiles didn’t pay enough attention to anything, but he smelled her shampoo linger through the air. stiles looked over just quick enough to watch her disappear into the room beside his and scott’s.

this was going to be a long night.

–

luckily, danny had an extra pair of boxers for y/n to wear as makeshift pajama bottoms. the two boys, sweaty and tired from the bus ride in, took turns showering, while y/n scrolled mindlessly through the television. afterwards, ethan and danny made themselves comfy on the other bed. they were in a similar situation as y/n and stiles- sleeping together, with the agreement that feelings wouldn’t get involved. tale as old as time.

“man, i wish we had snacks. i’m starving,” danny pointed out as he pulled the covers over his legs. ethan sat a few feet from his left shoulder, as if they were trying to keep distance between them.

but, y/n wasn’t stupid- she recognized the tension between them. she knew it all too well. she knew danny wanted to hold ethan’s hand, knew ethan’s darting eyes lingered on danny’s lips- more than once. while ethan started their movie, she came up with the idea to give them a few moments alone. she’d read enough romance books to know the trope- one of them would break eventually.

“i saw a vending machine,” y/n recalled, sitting up in the bed, “i’ll go grab some stuff.”

she collected her purse from the floor and the room key from danny’s bedside table, before her friend could protest. she passed danny a knowing look as she slipped out the door. she wriggled her eyebrows in delight. danny rolled his eyes, though he was blushing, and the tiniest smile cracked his lips.

y/n’s tennis shoes creaked against the floor of the balcony. the motel was obviously old, with rusted corners. it had the faint smells of dust bunnies and moth balls whipping through the air. the sun had set since the start of their movie, and it made the already creepy setting a little more chilling. it was comforting that she saw a few of her classmates, moving between rooms, hanging out on the balcony. but, even though there were plenty of people, the motel had a way of making her feel felt deserted, distant from the rest of the world.

she turned the corner and finally saw the vending machine, tucked into the corner with the ice. she spent a few minutes picking out a few different things, and even managed to stretch out the time by popping open a bag of m&m’s. she checked her phone and saw that ten minutes had finally passed. y/n felt she could return now. if they hadn’t confessed their love for each other, hopefully they’d at least kissed or something.

y/n slid the key into the door handle, hitting it loudly against the metal in order to make danny and ethan aware of her return. she slowly, surely, opened the door. much to her surprise- and delight- she was met with the sight of way too much bare ass skin.

y/n slammed the door closed, eyes squeezed shut, a little scarred from whoever’s ass she had just seen. shuffling could be heard from the other side of the door, and she assumed danny and ethan were sorting themselves out. but, she felt bad, cockblocking them, so she called out, “hey, don’t even worry about it. i’m gonna go ask lydia if she has makeup wipes. you two…have loads of fun!”

y/n huffed out a breath. her hand fell off the door knob, and she looked around. lydia was just two doors down. she remembered seeing the redhead with allison, when they went inside their room earlier. but, she couldn’t remember if it was the door right next to theirs, or the one after it.

she wasn’t really sure.

all she did know was that stiles and scott were behind one of those two doors. and with her luck…

y/n opted for just sitting on one of the chairs in front of danny’s room. she pulled up a book on her phone. danny would text her, or even come and find her, once he was done doing whatever it is he was doing.

it was taking all her willpower to ignore stiles. the fact that she even missed him as much as she did was a red flag on the entire situation. she tried to convince herself that she didn’t miss him, but his lips, his words, his ability to draw out of her a feeling she’d never really known.

but thinking like that made it worse.

y/n occupied her mind with a few pages in her book. but, as she turned another chapter, she heard a a couple pairs of feet scuttle up the stairs. two voices she recognized were speaking in hushed whispers, anxiety setting their tones. y/n looked up from her phone, flushing a little when she saw stiles’ face in the dim light of the motel balcony. they were coming her way.

she tucked her chin into her chest, eyes glued to her phone, hoping they wouldn’t be paying enough attention to notice her. her chest was tight. she felt tingly.

that luck of hers…

“y/n? hey, hey, what’re you doing here?” stiles pushed past scott, squatting to his knees before her. his hand came to rest on her knee, his touch soft and warm.

y/n didn’t realize how cold she was, in just her tank top that she wore and the boxer’s she borrowed from danny. she shivered, brows drawing together in concern. “what?”

stiles sounded worried, a little scared, like there was something really wrong. his eyes fluttered around her, over his shoulder towards scott. the latter boy’s hair was wet, and y/n glanced out to the parking lot to see if it was raining. the wind whipped towards them, and the smell of gasoline prickled her nose. she looked back at scott, tilting her head. was he covered in gasoline?

stiles squeezed her knee, “what room are you in? you need to get inside, here, cmon.” he grabbed onto her hand, entwined his fingers with hers like it was habitual. pulled her to her feet.

“what’re you talking about?” y/n furrowed her brows, squeezing onto his hand.

scott spoke this time, “it’s, uh- we saw an animal or something weird in the parking lot. like, a mountain lion or-“ he exchanged a confused look with stiles, like neither were sure of his testimony, “or something.”

y/n shivered, again, fear from all of the animal attacks that plagued beacon hills settling on her skin in the form of goosebumps. stiles noticed and he quickly shrugged his coat off. he slid it around her easily, “what room are you in?”

“d-danny’s,” she stepped closer to him, grabbed his hand again. she pointed to the room in front of them. “we need to tell coach. what if it-“

“danny and ethan’s?” stiles clarified as he cut her off. she nodded, words falling from her lips.

scott and stiles shared a look, and the latter boy shook his head. “why don’t you come hang out with us for a bit? we can watch a movie or something?” scott offered.

y/n shrugged, “i guess. i’ll text danny and let him know. hey, we should really-“

“it’s okay,” stiles led her into their room, and scott followed.

she slipped out of her shoes and sat, warily, on the edge of one of their beds. stiles peeked out through the blinds, on guard from whatever was out there. y/n felt there was more to the situation than either of them was going to let on. being in such close corners with scott now- the gasoline was so thick in the air. but, the mountain lion story alone was enough to freak her out.

and, she didn’t know if she needed or even wanted to know anything more. weird things always seemed to happen in this town. she didn’t need a reason to have a panic attack.

scott got a text. he quickly pulled out his phone. the abrupt end of the silence lingering in the room made y/n jump slightly.

stiles reared his head towards his friend, “what? what is it?”

scott’s eyes glanced over to y/n, who was staring blankly at the floor. her knee bounced up and down, and she hugged her arms around herself. “um,” scott was coming up with an excuse, “i’m just gonna go check on allison and lydia.”

he opened the door to leave, and y/n shot up from the bed. “be careful! you really should go tell coach, too.”

scott nodded, “yeah, sure.” he slipped out of the room.

stiles turned to y/n, fidgeting with his hands. he stepped towards her, concern laced in his tired eyes, “hey, you okay?”

y/n always noticed how tired he always was. but, tonight, it seemed he was more so.

she stepped a little closer to him, examining his gaze intently, “i’m fine. just a little- a little freaked out. the animal attacks in this town are no joke.”

“yeah, tell me about it,” stiles mumbled. he was shaken up from the events taking place this evening- his friends possessed by some deadly energy, scott’s near suicide. but, he forced on a strong front. y/n needed his comfort and security, no matter how many texts from him she hadn’t answered.

y/n watched his stare fall to the floor, and he faded out a little. she touched his forearm, grounding him back to earth. he met her eye. she frowned, “are you okay?”

“yeah, yeah,” he waved her off, “just…tired, ya know. long day.”

“why don’t you lay down?” y/n offered. she tightened her grip on his arm, moving it up to his elbow.

his breath hitched. he missed her touch like water. , now it was flooding him.

he nodded and stepped towards the bed. “will you- lay with me?” he thought over his own words, and quickly tried to make it seem less romantic, “in, like, a not weird way? i don’t know- nevermind.”

“yeah, stiles,” y/n brushed his words off, “i can lay with you. in a not weird way. friends can…friends can cuddle.”

he ignored the way that word stabbed his chest, and led them to the bed. stiles slid off his shoes, pushed back the covers, and fell into the bed. he lay on his back and held open his arm for her. she slotted herself into his side.

it was warm. comfortable.

both of them fell asleep within minutes.

–

a week passed, and neither of them mentioned that night.

they didn’t talk about it when they had sex in the stiles’ jeep, after the meet. they didn’t talk about it the next day at her house, when they had sex, again. or, any of the three other times they had sex.

they didn’t talk about the fact that neither of them had slept that well in months. they didn’t talk about the fact that y/n clutched onto stiles’ like he’d leave with one wrong breath.

and they especially didn’t talk about the fact that stiles kissed y/n’s forehead before he drifted off.

and told her, “thank you.”

–

y/n didn’t want to tell danny. so, she didn’t.

but, he knew her better than anybody, so he caught onto the fact that she had, at the very least, been sleeping with stiles ago.

according to danny, she had a, “glow about her.”

y/n shoved his shoulder, hitting her palm off of his uniform pads. she hissed at the pain and held her wrist limply in her other hand.

“that’s what you get for being a whore,” danny joked, poking her side.

she winced at the touch. “ouch! you’re a dick.”

“you’re gonna turn into one!” danny turned back to his locker, rummaging around for the rest of his gear.

y/n crossed her arms over her chest. she was wearing danny’s jersey again for the game. “and what about it?”

“nothing! there’s literally nothing wrong with it,” danny shrugged. he pulled his glove from the top of his locker and turned around, pointing it at her. “i just know you.”

y/n knew what that meant. she knew why danny was concerned. she knew herself, too. she knew how these things ended.

but she was choosing not to care.

“whatever,” she pushed the glove away from her face, “just- good luck on your game, asshole.”

she gave danny a tight hug before heading towards the exit. there were a few other players still in there, getting dressed, chatting about the plays for the game.

she spotted stiles at his locker. he met her eye and grinned. a blush adorned her cheeks. she waved.

y/n was about to open the door when stiles came bounding up behind her. he held it open for her, leaning over to do so, and his face ended up right beside hers.

“hey,” he sounded breathless.

y/n smiled, “how are you?”

they hadn’t seen each other since wednesday. y/n had a few projects for school, and work, so her schedule was jam packed. stiles missed her like crazy, but of course, he couldn’t really say that.

“good,” he nodded.

they moved out into the hallway as they spoke. the door fell shut behind them.

“listen,” stiles went to say, as y/n said, “sorry.”

“go ahead,” they spoke over each other.

“sorry,” y/n laughed. she brushed hair back from her face.

stiles’ drew his eyes over her skin, which was painted with white and red dots around her eyes. “your makeup looks pretty,” he found himself saying.

y/n touched her cheek, insecurely, “oh, thank you.”

stiles, caught up in the moment, gently pulled her hand from her face. he dropped it to her side and then moved his touch to her chin. he drew her eyes to his, arching her face upwards. y/n’s breath caught in her throat.

“what do i get if i win?” stiles found himself saying, a devilish grin on his face.

y/n was astounded by how good stiles had gotten at all this- the foreplay, the teasing, the things he’d say to her. he was an insecure, neurotic, freak most of the time. but, beneath the sheets, he’d learned control, confidence, power. it inspired security within her, positive self consciousness in her body, her movement.

and, though this made her face beat red, she smiled slightly. y/n wrapped her arms around his shoulders, entangling her fingers in his hair, and she pressed her lips into his. stiles nearly melted at her touch, curving his body into hers. y/n felt his dick harden against her thigh. she held back a grin.

and she pulled away.

“you’ve gotta win first,” she shrugged, pretending she was innocent to everything.

she began walking away, proud. stiles groaned in response and watched her hips, intently.

“you are such a tease!” she shrugged again, not even glancing back. not until he called out, “hey!”

she looked back at him, “what?”

“you look cute in that jersey, by the way.”

he winked at her before disappearing inside the locker room.

y/n faltered slightly. the moment sunk into her skin.

oh, no.

stiles stilisnki: breakable heaven; pt. 3, “devils rolls the dice, angels roll their eyes. if i bleed, you’ll be the last to know.”

description: situationship x stiles.

stiles: hey :)

y/n: hello! don’t let coach see u on ur phone, loser :)

stiles: i know, i know. just thinking of you

y/n: oh?

y/n’s throat tightened. she looked up across the lunch room, past danny’s head. her stare blanked at the wall. he was thinking of her. thinking of her…how? that was a very loaded statement to make. it was…flirtatious. caring. it was a strings attached kind of statement. it was dangerous.

her phone buzzed.

stiles: thinking of that lacey bra you had on the other day, mostly :)

y/n flushed, a red, hot buzz radiating off her skin. she nearly choked on her spit, and had to take a quick sip of water. danny- who was shooting off at the mouth about something during the lacrosse game last friday- barely glanced at her. he kept blabbering.

this? y/n was good at this. she didn’t have to look him in the eye while saying the dirtjest things she could. this was just her, her phone, and her imagination.

y/n: today it’s red

stiles: pics or it didn’t happen

stiles…was not good at this. she didn’t expect him to be. he was awkward, no matter what. but, it took the pressure off of most of the stressful things in life. that’s part of what she was starting to value most in his character.

y/n: come see for yourself ;)

stiles: fuck, i’m in econ!

y/n: excuses, excuses

stiles: no, no, i would if i could, i promise!

y/n: prove it, then ;)

stiles: meet me in the locker room in 5

y/n pocketed her phone, grabbed her bag.

it had been nearly a week since their first time. she thought about it almost every second of every day. it was clouding the heartbreak that had lingered on her like freezing rain. it was loosening her mangled mind.

she hadn’t expected for them to fuck every single day since then. but, neither of them had said anything about it. she was half-worried that she was so terrible, he didn’t want anything to do with that aspect of their relationship. instead, they’d just been texting a lot about other stuff. music, movies, books. they were bonding.

it was cool to have another friend, but god- she wanted him.

stiles had been dealing with his own issues. he, scott, lydia, allison- they’d spent a night tracking boyd and cora, after searching for a week to find them in the vault. it was an exhausting gig, on top of lacrosse practice, the game last friday, homework. he hadn’t had time to really think about getting laid.

but, now, here he was- monday at 12:10pm, during economics, with coach yelling like a banshee- he tried to focus on the chalkboard, on the text highlighted in his book. all he could think about was her. her skin, delicate beneath his fingertips. her lips, so plump against his neck. her legs-

he dumped his shit into his backpack and shouldered it quickly. scott whipped his head towards his friend, concerned. then, the werewolf caught a whiff of stiles’ hormones. scott crinkled his expression, grossed out. but, he shot stiles a half-hearted thumbs up.

coach called after the boy, “hey, next time, let’s try, excuse me, may i use the restroom, k?”

coach continued on with some angry remark, but stiles ignored him.

he made it to the locker room, quickly, nearly out of breath from how fast his pace was. stiles tossed the door open, and it slammed shut behind him. y/n wasn’t visible to him. he set down his bag, “y/n? hello?”

stiles looked around every which corner, but she wasn’t there. he pulled out his phone, and saw a text from her.

y/n: was on my way, but danny made me go stalk the new boy ethan in study hall. i’m so so sorry stiles! i’m totally going to make it up to. what are you doing 6th period?????

stiles’ shoulders dropped. he slouched down on one of the benches, feeling a little blue-balled. then, a second text dinged.

y/n: also here, for now ;) 1 attached photo

he nearly broke his phone. it flipped out of his hand, and he jumped from the bench to grab it before it hit the floor. he fell onto his knees, awkwardly holding the device in the air. the picture stared back at him. she’d slipped into the school bathroom to take a picture for him. for him. stiles.

he fell over, again, this time onto his stomach. stiles groaned, annoyedly, into the concrete floor of the locker room. his life sucked so bad.

the bell rang for lunch.

–

stiles: all yours, baby. see you, then

y/n, now in history, felt her breath hitch at the text. baby? baby. he called her baby. she knew, a lot of the times, people used pet names when they were sexting. but, this…was strange for a guy like stiles. he wasn’t fluid or, by any means, good at sexting. he wasn’t the type to know to say that. he wasn’t the type to…y/n overthought it every which way that she possibly could.

and, then, he texted her again.

stiles: you are so, so beautiful. 1 attached photo

y/n choked on her spit this time. she dropped her phone onto the desk, coughing hysterically. danny, seated behind her, leaned forward. he patted her back, asked her if she was okay. she gave him a thumbs up, kind of.

stiles was wearing underwear with pickles on them.

and he was very, very hard.

the bell rang, signaling the end of the transitional period, and the instructor began the lesson. y/n took a swig of water. she was sweating a little bit. she was struggling to sit still.

someone’s phone dinged. the instructor called out, “please, everyone, take a moment to put your phones away.”

y/n grabbed her cell, staring intensely at the photo as she slowly, painfully, leaned over to put it in her bag.

–

y/n: do you know how hard it was to pay attention in class, thinking about you like that?

y/n: i want to take care of you so badly

y/n: i’m in the locker room, where are you?

y/n: please, stiles. need you

stiles phone buzzed, four times, in the back of his jeans pocket. scott, ethan, and aiden glanced over at him. he cleared his throat, scratched the side of his neck.

“let me, just…” he stepped aside from the conversation to look at his phone screen.

his face turned beat red.

he hasn’t forgotten about their plans, but time got away from him. it was 6th period, and he was stuck interrogating alpha werewolves about supernatural shit. it was in times like these, when he wished life was normal. unfortunately, life is anything but.

stiles: i’m so fucking sorry. scott needed me for something. please don’t be mad at me. next period, promise

y/n: you know girls can get blue ball too?

y/n: it’s just easier to hide.

y/n: good luck :) 1 attached photo

oh, fuck.

–

7th period.

y/n was marching towards the locker room. she dumped her book bag at her locker, intending to be done with school for the day, since her next class would be her free period. she had one very important, very…big thing on her mind.

y/n was just around the corner from the locker room when a voice called out her name. she skidded to a stop, shoulders tense, and a huff on her lips, where stiles’ should be.

“y/n…the bell rang four minutes ago,” miss blake spoke, looking pointedly in y/n’s eyes.

y/n smiled, so painfully fake, “yes, ma’am.”

“so, you have one minute to get to my class on time. yet, you seem to be headed for the locker room. do you have a late pass?” miss blake was on her high fucking horse today, it seemed.

y/n shook her head, lips pursed in annoyance, “no, ma’am.”

“oh, silly me, then,” she rolled her eyes in a funny manner, “you must just be turning around then. here, we can walk together?”

miss blake looped her arm through y/n’s, and led them towards the english classroom at the other end of the hall.

y/n didn’t get a chance to text stiles back, but she just knew the poor boy was about to burst.

–

stiles: here

stiles: i can’t wait to touch you

stiles: oh my god i just saw miss blake literally drag you away from me

stiles: i’m gonna die

stiles: don’t even try to apologize, it’s literally not your fault. and i can survive with not getting off for a little while longer. guilt free zone here :)

stiles: but oh my god you’re so fucking pretty

stiles: you look so good today. and your ass looks good in those jeans

stiles: ok have fun in english. text me when you’re out. if you can. please. thanks

incoming call from: y/n :)

“y/n?”

“stiles!”

“speaking?”

“it’s my free period.”

“meet me at my jeep in 5.”

“im already here.”

–

stiles parked his jeep behind the lacrosse field. he watched y/n climb into the back seat, painfully slow in her movements. she settled onto the bench in the back of his jeep, blushing already, smiling shyly. stiles waited but a second to climb towards her. only he was a million times more awkward about it. stiles clambered through the vehicle.

“oh-!” y/n touched his back gently, assuring he safely made it back there.

his face was close to hers once he was seated. stiles flashed a sweet grin, “hi.”

“hi,” she giggled lightly. “how are you doing?”

“i’m doing swell, thank you,” stiles eyed her lips, the low curve of her v-neck t-shirt.

y/n took a breath to speak, her chest expanding. stiles watched her watched the tops of her breasts move. she barely said, “i was-“

before stiles interrupted, “i am so totally interested in what you have to say, but i really fucking need to touch you and kiss you, so please shut the fuck up.”

the soft sound of the low-volume radio and the idling engine was background noise. stiles’ windows were tinted just enough to dull out the light inside. it was tight, and they struggled against each other more than once. but stiles was more than happy to bend into strange positions so that y/n was comfortable. she didn’t ask him to- but he insisted. he insisted on putting his jacket beneath her head, so she could have a makeshift pillow. he insisted that she didn’t have to give him a blow job, so that she wouldn’t have to squeeze onto her knees behind the front seat. sure, they might have been bare minimum, consensual things that weren’t anything to write home about. but in this day and age, a boy muttering, “‘is okay?” each and every time he moved against y/n was enough to give her butterflies. it meant he cared. stiles cared.

the first time they had sex, it was just sex. they fucked, she went to the bathroom afterwards, and when she got back, he was dressed, ready to leave. stiles hadn’t known what he was supposed to do, but he figured she didn’t want him to linger.

this time, after he pulled out, wrapped the condom, and tossed it into the mini trash can in the front seat, stiles scooted over far enough on the bench to allow her room to lay down beside him. this time, it was heated…passionate. romantic.

y/n wasn’t even thinking, she was just caught up in the moment. she lay her head on his bare chest, ear cupped so she could hear his heartbeat. he was sticky with sweat, and his breathing was quick and loud. but he was warm, comfortable, and…strong. she’d never noticed that before. how defined his chest was. he was a lacrosse player, after all. even if he spent most of the time on the bench, he was still working out.

stiles tensed up under her affection, at first, but he became comfortable soon enough. he peered down at y/n. she stared off into space, and her expression was hidden from him. stiles gently slid his arm around her and the tips of his fingers floated up and down her bicep.

“what’re you thinking about?” stiles found himself saying.

y/n took a breath, regaining some semblance of awareness after she had been caught up in a daydreaming feeling. usually, after sex, she always felt…distanced. like she was behind glass. the air was slowly being sucked out of the box by her own lungs. she was suffocating.

the first time with stiles- it had felt like that, if only because of her internal battle with her feelings for sam. her mind had been racing with over wrung thoughts.

other times, like with sam, it was because the sex had felt like a transaction, like a consummation of some small part of her she’d never get it. this whole new generation was focused on sexual liberation- and y/n was into that. sex was awesome- it felt good. but, that idea completely ignored the fact that, most often, sex between a teenage boy and girl was laced with miscommunication and manipulation.

this time- this time was good. this time felt- liberating. it felt good. she got off. sure, she’d gotten off a few other hands, if only at her own hands. but, this time- stiles had made her feel good. and, she didn’t feel shitty because she wasn’t trying to get some small form of intimacy from someone she wanted to love and have. no, this time it was really just sex. sex with someone kind, considerate, and unattached.

(even if they were cuddling and neither of them wanted to admit how good that felt.)

“not much,” y/n lied through her teeth.

stiles caught a piece of her hair between his fingers and tugged at mindlessly. it tickled the back of her neck. stiles was hoping she was going to say something heartfelt, something sweet. he had gotten his hopes, for no reason. after all, he knew the rules. “fair. uh, hey, listen…i should probably-“

“oh, yeah, no, of course,” y/n sat up quickly, covering herself with his jacket.

they settled, side by side, on the seats of the jeep. y/n shifted awkwardly, reaching across his lap for her t-shirt that shoved between the wall and the seat. stiles reached her direction for his own shirt. they stumbled over each other for a second or two, muttering sorry’s and elbowing sides. then they were holding their respective clothing pieces.

they dressed in silence.

“i’ll drive you back, okay?” stiles offered.

y/n tugged her shirt down her torso, breathing deeply, “uh, sure, yeah. yeah.”

so, stiles drove them back over to the main parking lot. school was just letting out for the day. stiles spotted scott running down the front steps, seemingly in a rush, as the jeep came to a stop beside y/n’s car.

“listen, uh,” she turned her knees towards him, jaw open with a buffering conversation.

stiles wasn’t paying attention, but she didn’t notice. he was too busy watching scott, who was now talking to allison. and, then he saw derek power walking towards them.

“yeah, hey, um, could you send it in a text? i’ve gotta get somewhere. thanks for- that. yep!” stiles popped open the jeep door. he slid out, in a hurry, slamming the door shut before she could get another word in.

y/n sat there, for a moment, in utter shock. she took a deep, unsettled breath.

she needed to call danny.

–

“yeah, that’s fucking strange.”

y/n plopped onto her bed, rocking danny in his spot beside her. she took a hit from her cart, letting the smoke roll out as she replied with, “isn’t that fucking strange? like, it’s not that i expected we cuddle for twenty minutes and be all cutesy. but, the way he just rushed me out of there? that was weird.”

“maybe he’s pushing you cause he’s scared of having feelings for you,” danny tossed a ball of popcorn into his mouth, shrugging nonchalantly.

y/n rolled her eyes. she shifted onto her stomach, shoving her head into her pillow. “ugh,” she groaned, loudly. “you know, maybe i should end things right now. it’s gonna get complicated, i can already tell.“

“wait, okay,” danny pulled the pillow out from beneath her. she looked up at him. “let’s do a pro and con list before we make any rash decisions.“

“literally why?” y/n questioned.

danny waved her off, “cause it gives me entertainment. besides, it’ll be fun. now, give me a pro…”

she thought, tapped her chin as if it helped, “i think it’s helping me get over sam. i mean, i’ve stopped driving past his work. and i unfriended his mom on facebook. don’t think about him as much.”

danny clapped lightly, “aw, wait, yay. that’s such good news! best pro ever. okay, now, con.”

“um,” she hummed, “maybe…i don’t know. like, it’s complicated. like, it’s gonna be complicated.”

“yeah, but what’s complicated about it? nothing! so, one of you catches feelings- fuck it. you figure it out. i know another pro- the sex if fucking good. it’s making you feel good. you’ve got a goddamn glow about you, babe. you’re getting over bitch boy, you’re moving along. it’s not complicated.”

“i just,” y/n lay her head down again, “i’m just scared of getting hurt again, so soon. i feel like it would wreck me.”

“if you get hurt,” danny set his hand on her arm, “then, we’ll get through it, again. it’ll pass, it always does.“

she smiled up at her friend, only a little encouraged by his words. she still felt off. danny could tell by the distant look in her eyes. “but, you know, if you’re that worried- just end it. don’t continue. don’t put yourself in a situation where you think you could end up getting hurt.”

y/n didn’t know what to say. he was right, both sides of his argument were right. danny was the type of person to always be.

“you know what we should do?” y/n sat up, suddenly, the light bulb above her head aglow, “throw a party!”

danny laughed at her, leaning his head on his hand. “really? you are the last person i’d expect to want to throw a party.”

“i know, but- let’s do it! i wanna get fucked up and just chill out for a night.”

“you know,” danny pointed at her with a smug expression, “that’s the best idea you’ve had all year.”

stiles stilinski: breakable heaven; pt 2, "it's new, the shape of your body. it's blue, the feeling i've got."

description: situationship x stiles stilinksi.

"so, you didn't even fuck him?" danny leaned forward in his desk, whispering pathetically to y/n, who was seated in front of him.

stacking her textbooks onto her desk, y/n twisted around to face her friend. "sh!" she looked around with paranoia, hoping no one heard danny's loud mouth. she rolled her eyes back towards danny, "quiet down, idiot. no, we didn't fuck."

"why?!" danny groaned, planting his forehead in his hands, "you had the perfect opportunity!"

y/n shrugged, "i just wasn't ready. i still barely know the guy."

"you don't need to know his favorite color to have sex with him. it's supposed to be casual, remember?" danny reminded.

twisted around to face danny still, she crossed her arms over the curve of the top of the chair, "i know, i know. but, ugh, i don't know. i just want to know a little bit."

he replied, "just a little bit, though. you don't want to get too attached."

"yeah, no, of course," y/n trailed off, focusing her attention back to the front of the room as the teacher demanded the students' to listen.

y/n pulled her phone from her pocket as it buzzed. underneath her desk, she responded to stiles' text.

stiles stilinski: nah, literally. i understand the books weren't finished, but they didn't have to end the show the way they did.

y/n: i kinda liked how dany went off the rails, but it was way out of her character development. i'll have to text you later, class is starting, and i'll be busy the rest of the day. see ya!

stiles stilinski: no problemo, have a lovely day!

y/n quickly shoved her phone into the side pocket of her bookbag. she sat up in her seat, doodled across the top of her notebook with a new pen, and attempted to focus her eyes on the chalkboard as the teacher wrote out the lesson title.

but her mind was focused elsewhere.

"y/n," stiles moaned against her lips as his body pushed up against hers.

she grasped at the hairs curled at the nape of his neck, giggling slightly at his neediness. "yeah?"

stiles sighed, exasperatedly, "you're...so...pretty."

y/n grinned, interrupting their kissing. stiles pulled his head back slightly, "what? did i do something wrong?"

she shook her head, meeting his brown eyes, softer in the dim lighting. "no, you're perfect.”

stiles had drove her home after the hangout at danny's. he insisted on listening to taylor swift and continued to intently ask her questions about anything and everything.

when he dropped her off, he waited at the curb, jeep idling, until he saw he safely enter her house. it made her heart skip a beat.

then, when she closed the door, reality came crashing back down.

y/n showered, went to bed. she was coming off of her high, and she was remembering all of the awful details of the past summer. stiles became an afterthought.

she made the mistake of looking at a few photos in her phone. missed stiles’ text telling her he got home safely.

she texted him when she woke up. he immediately replied, assuring her it was okay for her late response. he made one comment on something insanely random, but they delved into a conversation about it.

it got cut short, as it was saturday, and y/n had to go straight to work. it was insanely busy i’m the restaurant she waitressed at, so y/n didn't get a chance to check her phone all day. she hoped, though, that stiles would text her. of course, she hoped sam would, too. but that was always a hope a heartbroken person carried, right?

even if they knew, logically, it made no sense. it wasn’t right.

stiles, he did message her. they continued to text, back and forth, all weekend long.

y/n didn’t agree that casual sex needed to exclude any and all forms of friendliness. the only thing that needed to be removed from the situation was feelings, beyond anything amiable. and that was easy as pie.

after class, y/n had a free period. and that was the last class of the day. so, she dumped some of her books off at her locker, and decided to head home for the day.

on her way out to her car, she texted stiles back.

y/n: how’s your day going?

he didn’t respond right away, which he normally did. but, she knew he was in english, and the new teacher was pretty strict about phone usage.

y/n opened the driver’s side door, tossed her book bag in, and went to slip into her seat when she heard her name being called. she looked to her left and saw stiles jogging across the parking lot.

y/n furrowed her brows, tilted her head, “shouldn’t you be in english?”

stiles came to a halt before her, hands on his hips, “what? oh, um-“ he looked behind him, as if the answer lied towards the lacrosse field, “i got let out early?”

that sounded like a question. “hm,” y/n smiled slightly, “you’re skipping class.”

“oh, you’re one to judge,” he shot back, “what’re you doing right now?”

“going home. i have a free period!” y/n defended, motioning back to the school building.

“mhm,” stiles nodded, “sure.”

y/n stared at him for a moment. she lifted her phone up, “i just texted you, by the way.”

stiles pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket, “oh, oh, here…” he typed out his response, and clicked send, proudly.

y/n smiled appreciatively, “i’m eager to hear your response to my riveting question. anyways, if you’re gonna skip class, do you think it’s a good idea to hang out in the parking lot?”

stiles leaned against the car beside y/n, “oh, probably not.” he looked like there was something else going on, and there was. y/n just didn’t know about all of the supernatural threats surrounding the school on any given basis. “but, i saw you and wanted to ask…”

“what’s up?” she stood up, eager.

stiles rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tick, y/n noticed. “are you free tomorrow night?”

y/n nodded, probably too quick to respond, “yeah, absolutely.”

“okay, cool,” stiles pursed his lips. a beat of silence passed, and y/n tilted her head, encouraging him to continue. “oh, well, maybe i can finally meet your dog?”

“smooth,” y/n poked his shoulder, “text me when you’re leaving school. i’ll send you my address.”

stiles grinned, “really? cool, cool. i’ll- see you then.”

y/n climbed into her car, and stiles closed the driver’s door for her. she waved before pulling out of the parking lot.

stiles fist pumped the air.

he met back up with scott, allison, and isaac by his jeep. they were skipping class because the alpha pack in town was causing a load of harmful trouble. just another chapter in the book of the supernatural.

“what was that about?” scott asked, secretly for his friend.

stiles, pretending to be casual about the situation, placed his hands on his hips, shrugged. “nah, nothing. just made plans to chill tomorrow night. no big deal.”

scott didn’t want to pressure his friend. he simply nodded, smiling kindly. “sounds good.”

stiles shrugged, again, though scott could see right through him.

he could see right through his sarcastic, solid exterior, straight to the scared teenage boy with the giant heart he wore just under his sleeve.

and he knew, already, things were gonna get messy.

–

y/n took an everything shower when she got home at her free period. and, by everything- she did everything. shaved, exfoliated, scrubbed every pore on her skin, wrapped her body in masks, conditioners, body washes, hair treatments, a teeth whitening kit. everything.

she tried to present her makeup and hair casually, but y/n still put enough effort into both to make herself look better than average. she was dressed and ready to go as soon as stiles messaged her that he was leaving school. she replied with her address, and proceeded to pace the length of the front room of her house until he arrived.

y/n’s dog started barking, in response to a short knock from the front door. she shushed winnie, who was up in arms about the person outside; ears perked up, eyes alert. all german Shepard, guard dog-esque. y/n patted winnie’s head, calming her slightly, before unlocking and opening the door.

stiles stood there, posture hunched slightly, in jeans and his usual t-shirt combo. his palm was cupped in front of his mouth, as though he was smelling his breath. he met y/n’s eyes, coughed awkwardly, and quickly wiped his hands on his thighs.

“oh,” he cleared his throat, again, “sorry. uh- hi. sorry. just- smelling my breath!” stiles cringed at his own words and glanced at his feet. he scratched the back of his neck.

y/n giggled, “oh, my goodness. just come in.”

she stepped aside, motioning him into the house. winnie took this moment to run up to stiles, panting like she’d run a marathon. stiles responded with excitement, ushering the old girl inside while patting her fur and gushing with baby talk.

“oh, you’re so cute- oh, yes you are, yes, you are. you are gorgeous, sweet girl,” stiles crouched to winnie’s level. “this is winnie, right?”

y/n nodded appreciatively. he listened to her when she talked. “yep. she’s very happy to meet you.”

“i’m very happy to meet her- oh, yes, i am!” stiles accepted the kisses winnie offered.

“now you’re breath might smell!” y/n laughed, gently pushing winnie’s face from stiles’ mouth.

stiles stood back up straight, though winnie continued to nudge him with her snout.

“you can take your shoes off,” y/n instructed. stiles followed suit, kicking his converse off towards the side, with the other shoes.

stiles moved further into the house, peering around the corner, into the living room, then on the other side, into the kitchen. “are…your parents home?”

y/n met his eyes and smiled gently. “no,” she shook her head. “they’re out of town this week.”

“so, you’re all alone? in this giant house?” stiles walked through the kitchen. outside the big picture windows was nothing but woods. she lived only a few minutes from school, but, “in the middle of…nowhere?”

y/n giggled, again, looking out the window, too, “yeah. i used to be scared, but you get over it. they’re out of town a lot.”

she didn’t know why stiles became worrisome. she didn’t really notice the creases deepen in his forehead, or the constant thought that would now exist in his mind. she didn’t know about the supernatural. she didn’t know of the massive threat looming right over her throat every single day.

“that’s…” stiles met her eye. she frowned slightly because he looked freaked out. he covered up his concern, “you should throw a party. yeah, that would be sick.“

she shrugged, “yeah, maybe. i don’t know, that’s a lot of work. i’d be stressed the whole time. wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself cause i’d be worried about people fucking up the house.

“well, that’s why you have me. i can co-host. we can worry together,” stiles nudged her with his elbow.

she looked up at him, shoulder brushing his, goofy grin on her face. “okay, yeah…i’ll take you up on that offer sometime. maybe next weekend. after the game?”

stiles gave her a thumbs up, “nothing better than getting shit faced after being hit with lacrosse sticks for three hours.”

y/n laughed, loudly. she wrapped her hand around stiles shoulder, leaning in as the noise rang from her throat. people were usually sick of his sarcasm after being around him longer than 24 hours. she seemed ever-appreciative of it. his bareskin tingled beneath her fingers. he sweat a little, breathed a little heavier.

feeling no sense of self control, stiles grabbed her by the hips, pushed his lips up against hers. he pressed her back up against the kitchen island, nearly tossing them both to the floor from his rush. she yelped, slightly. but she managed to balance herself, squeezed her eyes shut, and wrapped her fingers up in his hair.

they continued moving against each other, lips sloppy together. stiles had little to no experience, save for the few times he had made out with a girl. but, his expertise ended there. he’d, obviously, read- watched- a lot about that. there were a few tricks he’d been keeping up his sleeve. and this was finally his moment.

he situated his hands back on her hips, as they’d wandered up her torso. using all of his strength, stiles lifted y/n up onto the kitchen counter. she gasped, surprised by his muscle. she met his eyes, pupils blown out, mouth swollen, hair in disarray. once she was situated on top, stiles moved back in for her lips.

y/n fought the smile crawling out of her mouth. she focused on his shoulders, his arms, his chest. she reached the bottom of his shirt and began to slowly, painfully, pull it over his head. stiles quickly helped her toss it across the kitchen.

his lips aimed for her, but she took the upper-hand by steadying his shoulders. she first kissed the nape of his neck, which caused his breathing to completely shorten. she smiled as she felt his heart thump against his throat. as y/n nipped her way up and down his neck, rolled his ear lobe between her teeth, stiles moved his hands back to her body.

every once and a while, he’d shudder under her touch, let out a little breathless moan. at the same time, his fingers would clench whatever piece of skin he was touching. at first, her hips, then her sides, then her breasts. she moaned at this accidental movement, and stiles smiled to himself.

stiles gently pulled her shirt up and off. she dropped her head back to his neck, intending to continue her battle there. but, stiles cupped either one of her breasts in his hand, gently squeezing again. he felt goosebumps tickle all up and down her skin, and saw them rise on the curve of her breasts. he didn’t know where his confidence was coming from, but he leaned forward, and kissed the hills on her skin.

y/n’s forehead dropped to stiles’ shoulder, sweet sounds escaping her lips. he delicately swept his fingers around the edge of her bra, to the back, where the clasp was. before he could try to undo it, y/n pulled back. the way she looked at him- stiles swore he could fall apart from that gaze.

“as much as i’m enjoying this, i’d rather not fuck on my kitchen counter,” y/n steadied her hands on his shoulders.

stiles grinned, stepped back, helped her land on the floor, on her feet. before she could move past him, stiles dipped his head low, grabbed her jaw between his hand, and kissed her fiercely. y/n’s knees knocked together.

and she led him to her room.

when he left, y/n showered, again. she was sweaty, and he lingered on her skin like frostbite. showers always made her feelings irrepressible, like they were being sucked out of her lungs by the water.

she cried.

and it wasn’t befause stiles was terrible at sex. no, he was good. he’d made her feel good. he drew movement from her she didn’t know was possible.

it was everything else.

it was sam. it was the endless summer she had felt come to a stubborn, painful close. it was the ugly feeling he had left lingering on her skin.

she didn’t she’d ever get over it- him. he’d be etched into her like stretch marks. he pulled her apart, stretched her thin, and punched holes everywhere he could. left a brutal, bruising mark.

all because he was too scared to try.

she wanted to call danny afterwards, to tell him all about. to ask for solace from him in her confusing heartbreak. but, it felt too burdening.

stiles texted her when he got home, shortly after she got out of the shower. she thanked him, she didn’t know why, but she thanked him. she was grateful. he made her feel worthy. hell, he’d spent half the time in her sheets worshipping and praising her body, her lips, at her hips like an altar.

it was almost overwhelming. but it felt good. he felt good. everywhere.

he thanked her back with some witty, thoughtful message. she wanted to text back, but a conversation felt like too much right now. she needed to rest her weary heart.

besides, this was all casual…right? she wasn’t obligated to text him back. it didn’t matter if she did. she didn’t care if she did.

right?

–

“and then what happened?” danny slammed his hands down on the table between them, leaning his face close to y/n’s.

the smack of his palms resounded throughout the library, garnering hushes from the independent study instructor, and glares from the other students. y/n looked around, embarrassed, before shoving danny’s face away with her own hand.

“shut up!” y/n shushed him herself. “don’t have to tell the whole school how i fucked stiles stilinksi!”

she said it in a whisper, but danny still heard it. he cheered, loudly, jumping up and out of his seat. y/n stood, too, grabbing his biceps and trying to calm him down. she shot apologetic glances to her fellow classmates. coach blew his whistle, causing danny and y/n to whip their heads his way.

“that’s it! if you can’t study independently, you can’t study at all! get out, go home, go to the alley by the gas station and buy drugs, i don’t care! just don’t stay here!”

he ushered them out the door, and they barely managed to grab their things before the library was shut tightly behind them. y/n smacked danny across the chest, but he barely winced.

she pumped her legs, hard, moving down the hall away from him. danny followed, quick, singing, “she just had sex! y/n finally had sex!”

stopped at her locker, y/n rolled her eyes, and tried to quiet danny down. “literally- danny! i won’t tell you anything if you don’t shut the fuck up! please!”

danny groaned and leaned up against the locker. nevertheless, he shut the fuck up. “please tell me more before i combust!”

y/n waved him off as she shoved some books into her locker. “we had sex. it was good- like, really, weirdly, mysteriously good.” she emphasized the word, shooting danny a confused look.

his jaw was dropped, “be for real. right now. no way- stilinksi? stiles stilinksi?”

y/n nodded with a look of surprised assurance. “i know. and- like, sure, he’s not at all experienced. but, he somehow knew what to do. plus- oh, my god…” y/n trailed off, gesturing to the floor with head, her eyes widened.

danny’s mouth opened further, if at all possible, “no fucking way! no way. i refuse to- how big?”

he put his hands out beside each other in the air, about three inches apart. y/n shook her head, offended. he opened the space further, until y/n nodded, smirking.

danny slapped a palm over his mouth, “holy fuck! stiles stilinksi-“ he said, shocked, before he repeated, “stiles stilinksi,” impressed.

“i know,” y/n shrugged. she shut her locker.

danny began walking towards the exit, y/n falling in step beside him. “you lucky bitch. so, do you think it’ll be a regular thing? are you gonna do it- him- again?”

danny held the door open for her. she stepped through with a shrug. “i would fucking love to. but, i don’t know. he hasn’t said anything since. we’ve just been texting about other shit.”

“like, what?” danny inquired.

y/n pulled out her phone, where a fresh, unread text from stiles sat patient. “like, right now, we’re discussing his favorite band. music, in general, i guess.”

danny scoffed, “be for real.”

“bitch,” y/n shoved him, “what?”

“discussing music,” he tsked his tongue. “that’s how it always starts. before you know it, you’re married in the burbs with a baby and a dog.”

“shut up,” y/n shoved her phone back into her pocket, self conscious about responding, now. “you know i don’t want that. i’m not interested in dating. i’m moving away in less than a year and- and…”

she trailed off, but danny knew what her distant look meant. “sam,” he filled in the gap. “i know,” he touched her arm lovingly.

y/n looked up at him with her sad, puppy dog eyes. “fucking- ugh. i hate him.”

“i know, babe,” danny comforted. “at least you don’t have to see him. at least he’s off at college.”

“it’s sad, though,” she opened her car door and dumped her backpack inside. leaned up against the side of the vehicle, she elaborated, “i saw him almost every single day, over the summer. and then he just- i don’t know.”

“tells you he loves you while breaking up with you? i do know. he’s a fucking pussy. and you deserve better. he was manipulative as fuck, anyways,” danny waved off the issue at hand. “i don’t know, just…i don’t know. stiles is weird. i don’t really know him that well. he doesn’t seem like he’d fuck you over, but it’s just that tricky line of friends with benefits. it almost always leads to someone getting hurt.”

y/n picked at a piece of dirt on the side of her car, focused on danny’s words. “i think we’re both smart enough that we won’t let that happen. we both know what we want from each other- sex. strictly. nothing else. it’s black and white.”

“oh, love,” danny patted her shoulder, “nothing is ever black and white.”

danny bid farewell, hugging his friend tightly, with a saddened gaze shot her way. she was distant, stuck in her head, thinking over her words.

it didn’t matter. it really didn’t. she didn’t want anything from stiles, but sex. she didn’t want an attachment. so, she simply wouldn’t form one.

it didn’t matter if they were discussing music. it didn’t matter if she knew what made his cheeks crinkle into a smile. it didn’t matter if she was learning his favorite colors depended on the seasons, or that his dad was his role model. it didn’t matter.

she had boundaries, and she could keep them.

she could.

couldn’t she?

stiles stilinksi: breakable heaven; pt. 1, “fever dream high in the quiet of the night, you know that i caught it.”

description: situationship x stiles stilinksi?? fuck yeah. this part is really long and honestly is just setting the story up, so just expect tension, pining, and silliness. part two soon! enjoy xo

OTHER STORY PARTS linked here.

“someone needs to sex me right now!”

danny slams his locker shut, fed up with stiles’ griping and groaning about his lack of sexual experiences. he knows he should just mind his business, but part of him felt bad for stiles. he wasn't an ugly guy. loud, annoying, and dramatic? yes. but, nonethless, danny knew what it was like to feel unwanted, ugly. stiles deserved to experience that validation. besides, maybe getting laid would chill him out a bit.

“okay,” danny leanes against his locker, annoyance and exasperation in his tone.

stiles turns towards him around, curious, “really?”

danny examines stiles’ eager response, and realizes the younger boy thinks they’ve just made a sex pact. danny cringes, “ew, absolutely not. you are not my type.”

stiles falters, eyes falling from danny's. “aw. okay.”

danny furrows his brows. stiles was...so very unique. he almost drops the subject. but, then, as stiles goes to turn back towards scott, danny sighs, garnering his attention again. “i do have a friend.”

stiles perks up again, the light glinting up his brown, mischievous eyes. “oh? a friend? a girl space friend? not some little twink, right? you mean, like, a female woman?”

danny nods with a slight roll of his eyes. “yes, dumbass, a girl space friend. my friend got her heart broke over the summer, so she’s not looking for anything serious. she just wants to hang. and, i think she’d be into you.”

stiles grabs scott by the shoulders and shakes his friend around like they have just won the state championship. scott is thrown off balance, and grabs at the lockers beside him for support. danny pats stiles’ shoulders as he passes by.

“i’ll send your her number," is his closing statement. it seals the deal for stiles.

he breaks out into a dance, shaking his fists in the air, wiggling his little hips. “i’m gonna get laid,” he sings out with his eyes squeezed shut from the width of his grin. “i’m gonna have seeeeeeex!”

scott, balanced on his feet now, shifts his backpack between shoulders. “stiles?” he calls out, intruding his friend’s celebration.

stiles cannot hear him. so, scott grabs stiles by the shoulders, facing him with seriousness in his tone. “stiles!”

scott has always been supportive of any opportunity for stiles to lose his v-card. although, this time, it seems his friend is only obsessing over the idea of not being murdered, rather than actually losing his virginity. anyways, scott had always thought it would happen with someone stiles cared about, like lydia, or another girl he would develop a relationship with. not some one night stand. not something this casual. he wants to express his concern, knowing his friend is vulnerable and easily tainted.

stiles is shocked by scott's loud voice, taken out of his trance involuntarily. “what?!”

the bell rings. scott, a newfound academia, begins to pull stiles along with him through the hallway, so they’re not late to chemistry. he wraps his arm around stiles’ shoulder, “do you seriously think that you-“ he pokes his chest, “stiles stilinksi, can just chill with a girl?”

stiles winces at scott’s finger and rubs his chest after it retracts. “first of all- ouch!” he groans, “second of all, yes! i think i can just chill.”

he puffs his chest, straightens his jacket dramatically. all mannerisms he exhibits within this second after his proclamation guarantee that he, stiles stilinksi, can not, in fact, just chill.

stiles brushes past scott, leading the way into chemistry class. scott watches from the door as his friend slides into his seat, dumping his backpack on the floor, flicking his head at lydia across the room. she purses her lips and looks away. stiles slouches in his seat. scott didn’t need a werewolves intuition to see so plainly that stiles would get his heart broken.

Danny: hey stiles. here's y/n's number. don't hurt her or i stg ill beat ur ass. enjoy ;)

—

"danny, why the fuck are you selling me off like some pimp?"

danny flinches at the sound of her voice, looking up from his phone with a wary expression. he didn't exactly get his friend's permission to give away her phone number. but, at this point, he didn't really care. he loved her, but the poor girl needed dick more than a camel in the desert needed water. she kept claiming she'd have a hot girl summer- which turned into get augusted by some stupid college boy. and, the fall was already starting. he knew she wouldn't make it through senior year without human touch. she was starting to shrivel away into nothingness.

danny, leaned up against his locker, rolled his eyes as y/n came to a halt in front of him. "girl, be for real."

she crossed her arms, "you be for real, bitch! i did not ask for some junior boy to be stinking up my line with his horny ass!" y/n waved her phone in front of his face.

danny grabbed the device from her and read aloud the text stiles had sent her. "hey, there! this is stiles stilinski. you probably don't know me, but we have a mutual friend, danny. gay danny, not republican, sophomore danny. anyways, gay danny told me you were dtf? we should totally hook up sometime! let me know, and we can chill or something!"

"oh, my god," y/n smashed her face into her hands, redder than the stripes on danny's t-shirt. "who the fuck texts like that? that is so- oh, my god. i'm gonna block him."

danny quickly shut down the idea, "no, no, no! i know this message makes him seem like a literal incel. but stiles is cute! he's kinda sweet. i mean, ive known him since he was on the jv team four years ago. he's kinda awkward and a little weird, but i think you'd like him."

she looked at her friend with a cringed expression. "i trust and love you so much. but this...this text message is a giant red flag."

"okay, valid," danny pointed, handing her back her phone. "man, i was really hoping this would work out. listen...why don't you at least meet him? come to the lacrosse game tonight. i'll introduce you guys afterwards. maybe i'll organize a little post-game outing to the diner or something."

y/n shrugs throughout danny's idea. but, she eventually relaxes her shoulders, and becomes a little more willing. "i mean...i guess. but, do not leave me alone with him! please! i do not want to end up on dateline."

"girl, please, he couldn't harm a fly. he's got arms the size of spaghetti noodles."

y/n giggled at danny's description. "i keep trying to picture him in my mind, but i just can't. do you have a pic?"

"he was in our english class last year, but he had a buzz cut then-"

"red flag."

"shut up," danny shoved her arm. "here," he whips out his phone and finds stiles' instagram. there's a bunch of pictures of his jeep, and y/n doesn't hesitate to point out how this, too, is a red flag. to which danny replies, "the color of anything doesn't matter when y'all are fucking."

danny finally swipes enough on stiles' recent post to find one of him and scott, at an amusement park or something a few weeks ago. they have their arms around each other's shoulders and are both throwing up peace signs. y/n sees scott first and recognizes him, "he's the co-captain, right? he glew up, for real."

danny nods in agreement, "yeah, but this one's stiles."

he zooms in with his thumb and pointer finger. stiles grin and his sweet brown eyes catches y/n's gaze. she smiles at the sight, "aw, okay. yeah, he's adorable. i'll meet him."

y/n and danny are unaware, but scott and stiles are at the end of the hallway, whooping and hollering at the plans they haven't even been made directly aware of. scott is still feeling wary for his friend, but stiles can't think of anything at all when he lays his eyes on her.

sure, the thoughts he's having are impure, like how she'd look naked, under him, with her lips plump and ripe from his teeth. but, he's also thinking about how beautiful she is.

nothing about this situation was going to end up casual. in fact, it would probably end in flames.

—

y/n attended lacrosse games every once and a while, in support of her cousin, issac, and danny. she normally had to work, but she managed to get her coworker to switch shifts with her. she wasn’t a sports kinda gal, but it was fun to be an active teenager every once a while. danny let her borrow his away jersey, and she wore that over a long sleeves shirt. it was three sizes too big, but it helped her stay warm, considering it was freezing outside.

y/n went with three other’s in their loose friend group: megan and leo, the longterm straight couple, and jack. they found seats towards the back, and huddled in with the rest of the crowd. y/n caught danny’s gaze from the bench. he was adjusting his gloves, and y/n waved crazily when she saw him.

danny waved back, wide grin on his face. he glanced around the bench, in search of something or someone. then, he perked up at the sight of another player. he glanced back at y/n, and pointed at the boy.

“stiles,” danny mouthed.

y/n stood up, and followed danny’s line of sight. sure enough, stiles was standing in front of the bench, a few people down from danny. he was talking quickly, throwing his hands about like a madman. she recognized scott sitting to the left of him, half-listening to his friend. then, scott seemed to feel her gaze on the two of them. he grabbed at stiles arms, telling him something. stiles quickly looked towards danny, who glanced back at y/n.

stiles followed danny’s turn of head, and met her eyes. her hand, still raised from saying hello to danny, waved towards stiles. he blushed, a deep red color, and smiled this dopey, puppy dog grin. he moved about himself, unsure of what to do. somehow, he stepped on his helmet, and fell to the ground.

scott looked back at y/n, squeezed his eyes shut in utter disappointment at his friend, and hung his head low. he leaned down, grabbed stiles by the collar, and landed the boy back on his feet. y/n met danny’s eyes, pressed her lips together so she wouldn’t burst out giggling. danny covered his mouth, and his shoulders shook with laughter.

stiles quickly sat himself down, avoiding y/n’s gaze. he was embarrassed, and sure she was making a cringed face at him. but, he didn’t know that she was grinning as she sat. her eyes were glinting.

the game started shortly after, and it ended almost as quickly as it had begun. it was close, and the wolves almost lost. but, luckily, the boys managed to even out the score, and dug the other team a shallow grave.

y/n found herself cheering for her school’s team throughout the game. she quickly learned stiles number, and watched him, along with danny, dart around the field. he was pretty good, though he was tiny. he was taller than average, and that gave him some advantage against other players. plus, being skinny made him fast. he had made a few scores, and y/n whooped and hollered in response.

meanwhile, stiles found himself looking towards her seat throughout the game. she had a really infectious smile, and, damn, she was loud. at times, he could hear her voice over everybody else.

after the game, the crowd dispersed, and the team lingered on the field to not only hear coaches closing speech, but to celebrate with friends and family members. y/n, jack, leo, and megan climbed down the bleachers and crowded towards danny. his family hadn’t made it that evening.

y/n found herself nervous to formally meet stiles. she had replied to his text message earlier, informing him of danny’s idea for them to meet. she didn’t address the half of his message that was weird and kind of cryptic. she didn’t really want to think of that big ick.

anyways, seeing him in real life, in his cute little lacrosse uniform, polished his reputation up just a bit. danny was right, it didn’t really matter what his personality was like if they were just gonna fuck. but, y/n still wanted him to be a decent person. they’d have to hang out just a little bit. and she’d rather not have to sit through his apparent need to rant frequently if those rambles were about stupid, gross things.

danny saw his friends and his face lit up. he jogged the small distance to y/n, who pumped her fists in the air with excitement. danny embraced her tightly, lifting her off her feet.

“good job, dan!” she cheered in his ear, squeezing him around his shoulders. up in the air, y/n spotted stiles a little ways behind them. he was chatting with scott, an older woman, and the sheriff. he caught her gaze and stumbled over his words. he raised his hand in a short wave. y/n simply smiled in response before squeezing her eyes shut and leaning her chin into danny’s neck. he set her back on her feet. then, he celebrated with their other friends, too.

megan and leo left right after greeting danny because she had to work in the morning. but, jack hung around with them. he and y/n didn’t speak much. they just hung out with the same group of people. and, hanging out usually just meant getting high in danny’s basement or going on group dates to the movies.

“dude, that was a sick game!”

y/n tried to pretend like she knew what jack and danny were talking about, or that she was even remotely interested in the topic of conversation. she tried to strain her gaze over danny’s shoulder without seeming obvious. stiles was cute. like, super cute.

the conversation continued for a few seconds before someone interrupted it.

scott wrapped his arm around danny’s shoulder, squeezing the older boy into his side. scott was weirdly strong. then, stiles appeared at danny’s other shoulder. his cheeks were flush red, from both the game, and the pretty girl standing in front of him, who he was supposed to have sex with. he tried to seem nonchalant, cool. but he was sweating, from both of the same causes, again. y/n tried not to act like it was affecting her, the way his brown hair swooped down over his forehead due to the sweat. she tried to, also, not stare at his puffy lips as he spoke, swollen from chewing on them during the game. he was incredibly passionate about everything. especially teasing danny.

“aye, danny boy, good job out there tonight!” stiles ruffled danny’s hair.

the older boy knocked stiles’ shoulder with his own. “watch it, stilinksi.”

y/n, a pretty confident, witty person, interjected the conversation, “since when is it danny boy? i thought it was gay danny?”

stiles, who had been trying to play it cool, sucked both of his lips between his teeth. “oh, that’s funny, actually- you know, i- that’s crazy-“ his voice cracked. he wouldn’t meet her eyes.

y/n giggled, “i’m kidding. gay danny is hilarious.”

danny grinned between his two friends. “i think it’s rather hilarious, too.” he moved out from beneath stiles and scott’s arms. “don’t you, stiles? hey, let me know if you’re dtf?”

danny stood beside y/n, who hit him with her hand. scott, who was a little out of the loop, dropped his jaw. “oh, stiles,” he groaned, head falling back, “dude, please do not tell me you said that!”

he looked towards his best friend, who placed his hand on his hip, and glared at the turf. “you know…words are-“

“dude!” scott shoved stiles shoulders. “you’re a fucking idiot!”

stiles faltered on his feet, using his lacrosse stick to balance himself. “okay, i don’t want to hear it from you! please tell me the last charming thing you said to a girl?!”

y/n intruded again, “how about, hello, how are you? nice to meet you, my name is stiles?”

stiles finally met y/n’s eyes. she looked anticipatory, brows raised slightly, teeth over her bottom lip. he licked his own, dry lips, falling over his words. this never really happened. he always had something to say. and now, he was speechless.

their gaze didn’t falter for a few moments, as y/n waited for the boy to say something. he didnt, so she stuck out her hand, “hello, how are you? my names y/n, nice to meet you!”

stiles stared at her hand, her pretty hand, just hanging there in the space between them. scott hit him over the back of the head with his lacrosse stick. stiles tripped over his feet. he balanced himself out and finally shook her hand.

“nice to meet you,” he nodded. “i’m stiles.”

“is that short for anything?” y/n asked, stepping closer. danny and scott busied themselves to the side with jack, trying to give the two potential lovebirds a moment alone.

stiles moved a little closer, too, until there was only a foot or two between them. y/n was really good at maintaining eye contact, but that made stiles nervous. he glanced around her face, trying not to stare at her lips, or her nose, or her rounded cheeks.

“it’s short for Mieczyslaw,” stiles scratched the back of his head, embarrassed by his weird name.

“oh, no way! that’s my grandpas name!” y/n replied.

stiles perked up, “really? that’s- that’s cool.”

“it’s actually david,” y/n widened her eyes amusedly, “i thought it would be funny to say it was Mieczyslaw. but i don’t know how that’s funny. it’s just david. his names david.”

she laughed nervously. her gaze faltered from stiles. the corner of his lips quirked up. that was his kind of humor. he chuckled, somewhat dryly due to his nerves, and said, “it is funny. i liked it. it’s funny.”

“usually when someone has to say something’s funny, it’s not,” y/n crinkled her nose. her hands were crossed in front of her, fingers slick with nervous sweat. he was making her so nervous and shy. unusual.

stiles shrugged off the fact she had stated, “i don’t think so. i think it’s still funny.”

they shared a longer gaze, words absent from both of their minds. stiles rubbed his lips together and waited for his brain to formulate some kind of sentence. y/n smiled, slowly, okay with the silence.

“hey, guys,” danny intruded their moment, “we’re gonna go get changed, then head to my house, yeah? scott’s gonna invite allison. maybe lydia, but i doubt she’ll come.”

stiles and y/n looked to danny, sweet little smiles swallowing expressions. danny couldn’t help but grin. this had to be one of his best ideas, ever.

“okay, sounds good,” y/n nodded. she looked back to stiles, awaiting his answer.

he followed her lead, “yeah, yeah, awesome. we’ll meet you there?”

“well,” danny shook his head slightly, “i was gonna drive scott. and, then, jack, you know, plus if allison comes…my cars kinda full.”

“wha- scot-“ stiles looked towards his best friend, betrayed by scott’s willingness to ride with someone else. then, he met scott’s eyes, and understood the matchmaking game that was being played.

y/n glanced at stiles, who was nodding nervously. “yeah, okay. do you- would you wanna ride with me, y/n?”

“yeah,” she smiled, “i’ll ride with you.“

y/n, jack, and allison hung out outside the boys’ locker room while they showered and changed. y/n texted her mom to let her know she’d be getting home late. then, she shut her phone off and shoved it in her jeans pocket. allison met her eyes from the bench across the hallway.

“i feel like we’ve never hung out,” y/n smiled.

allison shrugged with a shy grin, “i don’t really hang out with many people. my family’s…weird.”

“it’s okay, mine, too,” y/n giggled. “we can trauma dump later, yeah?”

allison nodded, “i’d love that.”

“so, are you and scott together?” y/n wriggled her brows suggestively.

allison blushed, pulling her gaze to her hands in her lap. she fidgeted with her fingers. “uh, no, not anymore. we- uh, just, it’s complicated.”

“ah, i see,” y/n narrowed her eyes playfully.

allison looked back up to the girl and furrowed her brows, “what about you? i thought you were seeing sam? sam collins? i saw you guys together over the summer.”

y/n shifted in her seat, her throat tightening at the thought of sam collins. “yeah, we- were? i guess. i don’t know, it was a whole situation. i’ll tell you all about later when we do that trauma dumping.”

allison offered a supportive smile, “sounds like a deal.”

scott, stiles, and danny piled out of the locker room doors, backpacks and lacrosse bags slung over their shoulders. they barely made it through the frame.

danny rounded up his carload, quickly leaving y/n and stiles in the dust so they were forced to be alone. he had texted her before showering, ensuring she felt safe and comfortable with the idea they had entrapped her and stiles in. in response, she had said, “he’s CUTE!”

y/n stood from the bench, sighing slightly. “looks like we’re stuck together.”

stiles, who had gotten a pep talk from scott, was a little calmer. he waved his arm out in front of himself, “ah, can’t be the worst thing. lead the way.”

y/n grinned up at him. standing this close to him, in this small space, she noticed two things. one- he smelled really fucking good. and, two, he was so fucking tall.

y/n walked out in front of him. she crossed her arms in front of herself again, a nervous habit. once they walked out of the school, their steps fell into rhythm beside each other. stiles wanted to make conversation, and y/n did, too. but the anticipation, the hesitance, the nerves. it all took up too much space.

once they reached stiles’ blue jeep, he opened the door for her, which was slightly shocking. he tossed his bag in the back before joining her in the front. y/n found words as the car started and music playing, a little louder than normal, from the speakers. stiles turned it down, cursing and apologizing.

“what kind of music do you listen to?” y/n turned in her seat, so her knees were facing him. she placed her elbow on the arm rest, chin balanced atop her fist. stiles glanced at her, and his words stumbled.

she was pretty.

“oh, you know. your basic stuff. the 1975. backseat lovers. noah kahan. wallows,” stiles listed off a few.

“hm,” y/n replied. “alright, i can get behind that.”

stiles chuckled, “oh, yeah? what about you? you seem like a music snob.”

y/n scoffed, “absolutely not. i listen to everything and anything. even country. love taylor swift, phoebe bridgers, one direction, chappell roan.”

“i have heard of two of those artists,” stiles furrowed his brows. “literally who is chapel ro-han ?”

y/n rolled her eyes, “roan! here, give me your phone. i’ll play something by her.”

“no, wait, play some taylor,” stiles dug his phone out and handed it to y/n. “i respect swifties.”

“i feel like you’d be a swiftie,” y/n murmured as she scrolled through spotify. green flag, even though the 1975 was a blaring red one.

y/n, feeling slightly risky, played one of taylor’s more promiscuous songs- dress.

“i would be a swiftie, but i think my masculinity gets in the way,” stiles shrugged. he turned up the music a little bit. “i’ve never heard this one.”

“probably,” y/n giggled at his comment. “this is dress. it’s off the reputation album.”

“what’s your favorite album of hers?”

conversation came so naturally. y/n felt comfortable.

“oh, god, don’t ask me that,” y/n groaned. she rested stiles’ phone on her knee. “probably…reputation, to be honest. it’s some of her best work. but, lover is definitely second.”

“is that one a bunch of love songs, i take it?” stiles was really good at asking questions.

y/n shook her head, “it’s actually a bunch of heartbreak songs. people get confused because of the title. reputation has more love songs.”

“like this one?” stiles seemed to notice some of the lyrics.

y/n pursed her lips, “maybe. this one’s more of a fuck song than a love song.”

“ah, yes, there is a distinct difference.”

“oh, for sure.”

they shared a hearty laugh. stiles continued to ask questions, seemingly very interested in not only taylor swift, but y/n herself. she enjoyed his willingness to make conversation.

they made it to danny’s after two more songs. they pulled in right behind danny’s car, and watched the group pile out of his car. as stiles shut off the jeep, y/n reached for her door handle.

“wait-“ stiles jumped out of the car, and quickly rounded to her side. he opened the door, and offered her his hand.

y/n furrowed her brows. she’d seen a lot of boys do a lot to get laid. but, stiles was taking it to the extreme. stiles noticed her faltered look and motioned her with his outstretched hand.

“if we’re gonna fuck, i’m not gonna act like a dick. you deserve some basic human decency.”

literally bare fucking minimum- don’t worry, ladies, y/n is aware. but, god that melted her heart. his sweet brown eyes offered up the nicest smile.

she placed her hand in his and carefully stepped out of the jeep. it was a little higher off the ground than she was used to.

stiles shut the door behind her. he fell into step beside y/n as they walked into danny’s house. danny led the group to his basement, which was also his room. shockingly, it smelled a little bit like weed, and was dimly lit by led lights and lamps scattered across the room. his bed was against the farthest wall, and he had a common area surrounding a television right off the landing.

y/n plopped onto the first couch, and she patted the spot beside her for stiles. he followed suit, and yelped as he noticed how broken in the piece of furniture was. his shoulder squished into y/n’s, along with his hip, as he was tilted by the couch. she giggled at his clumsiness, steadying him with a hand on his knee.

stiles went red hot under her touch. it was warm, through the thin material of his sweatpants. and she didn’t take it away. no, y/n, confident in her advances, left her hand on his knee. stiles took that in stride, and swung his arm around the back of the couch, fingers inches away from her shoulders. she smelled sweet, like some fruity, beachy perfume.

scott and allison sat on the couch to their left, and jack found his usual spot on the oversized chair. danny was busying himself at the television console, flicking on netflix. he put on some random movie for background noise, and then proceeded to pass around his dab pen. jack took a couple hits, surprisingly, allison did as well. scott was shocked by the latter fact, and even more surprised when she told him she took edibles sometimes for her nerves.

stiles politely refused the weed, but y/n gratefully took a few hits. it loosened her shoulders almost immediately and made her flirtations a million times more present.

she curled her legs up beneath her on the couch, her knees landing in stiles lap. he shifted his legs beneath her, clearing his throat nervously. if someone had told him, this morning, that he’d be losing his virginity so soon- oh, god.

y/n started up a conversation that was separate from the groups. they started up a game of mario kart, while y/n was asking stiles about his favorite movies. it was hard to think with her warm breath fanning across his cheek, down his neck. and, then, she was toying with the string on his hoodie, staring up at him through her pretty lashes. her pupils were dilated from being high, and she was giggly.

stiles was beyond happy.

especially when she demanded she show him something in the other room.

“you said you like tabletop games, right? danny’s brother runs tournaments with his friends. cmon, i’ll show you!” y/n stood up, offering stiles her hand.

he didn’t hesitant to lace his fingers with hers. she drug him along behind her, quickly bee-lining for the other room in the basement. y/n flicked on a light switch, but all it really did was turn on more lamps and the string of leds across the ceiling. yes, stiles was incredibly interested by the shelves of books, knick-knacks, and the large gaming table in the center of the room.

but he didn’t really care about any of that.

because she was holding his hand, rambling about danny’s younger brother, and holding his hand. stiles just listened to her describe luke, how he was like a younger brother.

then, she noticed stiles was just staring at her. her words faltered and she trailed off. “what? am i boring you?”

“no, no, never,” stiles stepped closer, and squeezed her hand to encourage her. “i’m just…you’re really pretty. and you’re holding my hand. and i’m thinking about fucking stupid my text was, from earlier? i’m a dumb ass.”

“stiles,” y/n rolled her eyes, “you’re a really cute dumb ass. don’t worry about the text. to answer your question, though, yes.”

“yes, what?” stiles thought he knew what she meant, but he was unsure. he wanted to hear her say it.

“yes, i’m down to fuck you.”

oh, god. his knees went weak.

y/n grabbed his other hand, tugging him towards her slightly. something in her demeanor, her expression, changed. her look was darker, pointed, intentional. stiles found some courage and slid his hand up her wrist, up her forearm, over her bicep, and around the back of her neck. he brushed her hair away. as they moved closer, she leaned her head back to meet his eyes, and her head fell into his hand.

she grinned up at him, and the look made him chuckle dryly. “what?” she asked, insecurities drawing out despite her pointed confidence.

“just…so pretty,” stiles replied. using his other hand, stiles brushed the hair from her cheek, and cupped his palm around the curve of her face.

slowly, but surely, they kissed.

kol mikaelson- best friend’s brother, pt. 7- the great war.

“always remember; we’re burned for better. i vowed i would always be yours, cause we survived the great war.”

a/n: why did it take so long for me to write this? why does it suck? anyways this series is over sadly :( imma write smth else just u wait friends :)))

recap: kol went cray cray and nearly killed reader. rebekah still has zero humanity. klaus and elijah are big brother core. slay.

i didn't do well with the brink of death and being covered in my own blood.

my hands were covered in the slick color, pants and shirt drenched, too. i found myself staring down at my hands, eyes distant, mind lost in wonder. i felt a little nauseous, even if i had a magic cure-all in my system.

kol brushed a stray hair from my cheek. it was stuck there by more blood. he rubbed his finger against a stain on my skin. i didn't pay attention to his touches anymore.

i just stared at my blood.

"there's so much," i murmured. i pressed my hands against my shirt, rubbing my palms clean. i drew them back under my gaze, but they were still crimson. i kept rubbing.

"i know, darling," his voice whispered past my ear, winding my hair. "can we stand up? get you cleaned up?"

i shuddered, "i don't think i can stand."

kol must've nodded or hummed in agreement. i can't remember very well.

i bunched my sleeve around my hand and used it as a rag against my other plan. he stood, warm arms dropping from my skin. i felt myself lift off the floor as kol wrapped an arm around my back, under my thighs.

i focused on the wrinkles in my skin, digging out caked blood with my hoodie sleeve. it didn't do much. just stained my already-ruined shirt. i'd probably have to throw it out anyways.

kol ascended the stairs with me in his arms. klaus and elijah were left in our dust. i didn't know what they were doing- what do you do after somebody almost dies? i guess they were used to it. i wasn't. i don't think i'd ever be.

the bedroom door fell shut behind us. kol flipped the toilet lid shut and propped my lucid body down there. he turned towards the shower and let the water begin to steam up.

"darling?"

i finally looked up to him. i'm sure i looked terrible. "wha-what?"

kol squatted before me. he drew my hands away from one another, palms squeezed in his embrace. he bore into my eyes, searching for life, maybe forgiveness. "i'm sorry-" he cut himself off.

tears welled up in his vision.

i couldn't get my body to move. i couldn't get words to come out. i couldn't get myself to comfort him or forgive him or tell him it'll be okay.

because that was kinda fucked up. and i was having a normal human reaction- shock. fear. my heart was still racing. my absence of fight or flight was like a come-down off of drugs. rash. my skin itched. my stomach ached. i guess the blood couldn't fix that.

i remained stoic. kol quickly sniffled, pulling his gaze from mine with a chin tilted towards the floor. he seemed to square his shoulders. diverting his attention again, he untied my shoes, tugged them off my feet.

then, he stood back up. he cupped his hands around my hips. pulled me to my feet. i braced my hands on his shoulders. kol brought my towards the running shower.

his fingers took to the hem of my hoodie. he met my blank stare, "may i?"

i barely nodded.

kol undressed me, slowly, carefully, piling my clothes atop the bathroom sink. he helped me step under the water. i winced as it boiled against my skin. he quickly turned the knob left, heat down.

as the water soaked through my hair, through my scalp, the blood on my body began to run down. i stared at my feet, at the watery red liquid swirling down the drain.

"okay, darling," kol spoke in a low tone, afraid. nervous. "just...call me if you need me."

a slight nod, again. kol pulled the curtain shut. the door clicked behind him.

as the peace and quiet overcame me, the shower a gentle lullaby, i was able to ground my body. my shoulders fell, my neck straightened up. i lifted my chin, i shook my hair down over my back. i washed my body, scrubbed it clean of blood like it was my duty. like it was normal.

my brain ran wild with thoughts. i couldn't pin one down. what was one supposed to think about what had just happened?

on one hand, i was anxious. i wanted to lay down in bed and hide under the covers as if there were a monster in the closet.

on the other, i saddened. the way kol looked- the expression on his face when he threw the fire poker. it was pure fury. it was like he was that monster in the closet.

i was angry, too. he wasn't the only pissed off.

i was angry for myself, for my vulnerability. i was angry for the girl who he left behind. for the girl who risked her friendships, her life, for him.

i was angry that he betrayed my trust. that i'd let him break down my walls with his sappy roadside tears. they meant nothing, apparently. because he promised me he'd try, and he'd completely shit on that idea.

i knew healing- growing- wasn't linear. but, he never even hit the slope. he was on a downward spiral the second that promise left his tongue.

and i deserved better than that.

my head hurt.

i wrapped myself up in a robe and combed through my damp hair. the bathroom light flicked off, and the door fell shut behind me. as the knob clicked into place, lol looked up at me from the bed. he was on the edge, palms pressed against his knees. there were wet streaks running down his face.

and the anger dissolved.

i sat beside him, and leant my head against his strong shoulder. he tilted his head against mine. i slid my hand over his.

"i'm sorry," his voice was quiet, solemn. he sniffled.

i moved his hand around, to entwine my fingers with his. my thoughts were scrambled, and i didn't know what to say.

i shouldn't forgive him.

i should be afraid of him.

i should've never trusted him in the first place.

a mirage of moments flashed through my head as i focused my memory. in the car, opening the door for me. dancing at rebekah's party, spinning in my brand new dress, the world flashing by, his smile peeking in my vision. his favorite color- purple flowers after a winning football game.

i released my breath, my chest relaxing, my shoulders resting. "i forgive you."

we sat there like that for probably an hour. just sinking in one another's presence. the window, open, pushed the breeze through our hair. the music of the night below wafted in like a peaceful reminder of life. i brushed my thumb over the back of kol's hands. his fingers were white as he clutched onto me, hoping to never let me go.

and he wouldn't have to.

kol nudged my head with his own, tilting mine until he could see my face. a gentle smile filled my face. it felt good to do that.

he lifted a hand to my face, pushed hair behind my shoulder. his hold paused at the side of my face, fingers slotted around my ear. i watched his eyes, watched the sadness slowly dissipate into worry, into want, into need.

i let my eyes fall shut and filled the space between us. he kissed me back, sweetly, carefully, delicately.

i brought my touch up to his face, holding him steady against mine. my left hand found the nape of his neck, elbow skin across his shoulder, fingers entwining in his curls.

he moved, crouched, in front of me, to push my back down against my bed. as i fell back, kol's knees on either side of my thighs, i caught my breath. my eyes peeled open to see the sweetest grin on his face.

i smiled, but the feeling of an absent resolution ached in my chest."kol, we should talk-"

he interrupted me with his lips. my eyes fell shut as i leaned into it, back arched off of the mattress. he cradled my face, and his breath puffed in and out against my check from his nose.

i sunk before catching myself. i pressed my hands against his chest. he opened his eyes, drew his lips back for a moment. "we need to talk about- everything," i whispered.

kol frowned. he held my hands, against his chest, before bringing them to his lips. he kissed them, "darling," another kiss on my palms, "i have been a lost ship on the ocean. for forever now. i've finally found my shore- please let me rest."

i gripped the front of his shirt, pulled him back into me. his fingers drug down my sides, around my hips, to the front of my robe. before he could tug it open, i pulled his shirt over his head. his hair ruffled from the maneuver, and i grinned giddily at the sight. kol crinkled his nose at my laughter, before covering me with his body.

his chest was warm, whole, his hands a soft place to land. they slipped the robe from my shoulders, held me against him as he removed from beneath me. i was naked before him, vulnerable, cold. he didn't even take a moment to admire my body. he didn't feel the need to. he just wanted me.

under the covers, we found what we'd lost. i realized no words could fix this- only we could. and that's exactly what we tried to do.

fix. rebuild trust. connect again.

all it took was his hands on my body, his soul at the tips of my fingers.

–

the sun was shining.

that was the first thing i noticed when i woke up.

it stretched across the room, dancing through the sheets, bouncing off the hardwood flooring. glistening on kol's cheek.

he was on his stomach, one arm under the pillow, the other sprawled across my waist. i moved my fingers, to slide up and down his bicep, watching as i left goosebumps.

my eyes moved from the window, to his shut gaze. he looked peaceful. he always did when he slept. but, this was beyond any sleep i'd ever seen him in. he was like an animal that finally found a gentle place to rest it's head, vulnerable, open. snoring, slightly. i brushed my hand over his head, settling his messy hair. his skin and hair were warm beneath my touch.

i glanced around the room, again, appreciating the sunlight, the moment i was living through. but i had to pee.

i set his arm beside his body and slipped out of the bed. his t shirt fell down my thigh, the material soft on my barren body.

when i was done, i washed my hands, and the soap smelled sweet to my senses. it was like i was picking out every good part of the world, now, now that my world was slowly being pieced back together.

as i stepped out of the bathroom, kol looked to me. he was on his back now, sheets pooled at his waist, a sleepy smile on his face.

"g'morning, darling," he rubbed his eyes.

i moved to his side of the bed. as i settled on my feet, he reached out his hands. kol grabbed my waist and pulled me down over his body. i giggled at the sudden movement.

i didn't even wanna this bed. it was secret oasis, safe for the two of us. here, beneath the sheets, nothing else mattered. no deadly supernatural problems, no off-the-rails best friends. none of it.

just when i was sure our skin would attach itself to the sheets, sometime around 1pm, i grew hungry. kol, unwilling, let me out of his embrace.

i put on different clothing, something more appropriate for the kitchen. kol changed as well.

i went to open the door, but kol pushed it shut, arm stretched out before my vision. i sighed, turned back to him. he pressed me against the door and kissed me sweetly.

i nearly sunk into his advances, but i put my hand against his chest. "i'm hungry, kol."

he groaned and planted his forehead into my shoulder. my fingers unconsciously glued themselves to his skin, up his arm. 

"you wouldn't have this issue if you'd let me turn you." his tone was humorous, light. but, my hand froze against his skin, eyes boring into the space my fingers occupied.

kol lifted his head, smiling, but noticed the frown i held. his face dropped. we stood in a momentary silence, unsure of what either of us should say or do.

afraid he would berate me about the decision, i quickly tried to cover the issue with a laugh at his attempted joke. "ha. right, remind me again how awesome you guys are?"

kol searched my face, unable to find any signs. so he smiled, unwittingly. he shook his head and pulled me from the door. "let's get my girl something to eat."

the moment stayed on my chest the whole way down the stairs, lingering in the kitchen. i never gave much thought to it, being a vampire. i always tried to stay out of the way, to stay normal, to stay human.

but, i guess, there was no longer anywhere for me to run. i was knee deep in vampirism. and i was no longer fighting the quick sand.

kol made me some lunch, just a sandwich and chips. then, he excused himself to get a glass of blood.

i watched his shoulders turn the corner from the kitchen, my own frame shrinking. the mask fell and the thoughts raced in.

did i want to be a vampire?

perks: eternal life and money, power...

downsides: being dead, being numb...being a killer.

there had to be more to it. there had to be deeper meaning to vampirism. i searched for poetic justice in everything- i always had. i was hopelessly romantic about every aspect of life. so, what was the stanza here?

elijah appeared a moment after kol left. the door shutting drew my eyes from the kitchen counter. i realized i had stopped chewing my sandwich and quickly swallowed my full mouth.

elijah found my eyes and smiled kindly, "good...afternoon, dear. i would ask if you slept well, but knowing my brother..."

i cringed at the sarcasm. elijah really was the embarrassing older brother i never had. "uh...i don't know how i'm supposed to answer that."

"then the joke landed," he proudly spoke. he rummaged through the cupboards before pulling down a tub of coffee.

as he began to move around the kitchen, making a pot, i fell back into silence. elijah looked back at me, curious.

"everything alright?" he questioned.

i took another bite of my sandwich, "uh...yeah. i guess. why do you ask?"

he turned towards me, leaning back against the counter. "pheromones."

"fuck me," i cursed. i'd forgotten all about that stupid, dead giveaway. i set my food down and took long swig of my water. my mouth was dry.

elijah tilted his head, "you can talk to me. you know that. you always can."

i shook my head with a shrug, "i know. my issues are usually pretty shallow. but..."

"this one isn't."

"do you like being a vampire?" i blurted out.

elijah flicked his brows up in slight surprise. then, he crossed his arms over his chest, thinking, "well, if i had a choice...i think i wouldn't choose."

i sat up in my chair, "what?"

"with me, with my family...nature took its course. it did what it felt was right. i don't believe in a higher power, but i know there is something guiding each of our destinies. my family's destiny has been carved out for thousands of years. you can't fight what is meant to be."

elijah watched my face, waiting for a response. i adjusted in my seat, stunned. "well- what if i don't know what my destiny is?"

"we never know our destinies. they tell us, show us, when we're ready. you simply have to let go, let it happen to you."

the coffee machine clicked, the pot full of a dark brown liquid. it pierced the intense silence. elijah's face twitched. he turned back to the pot and poured a glass.

"as for your destiny, well," he continued, facing me as he walked sideways, towards the door, "i think you'll know when you know."

okay, elijah, please be more cryptic, won't you?

that helped, only an ounce. i kept the memory behind my eyes, in a cabinet somewhere. maybe it would be useful, but as of right now, that gave me nothing.

kol returned shortly after. i had finished my food and was sorting my dishes, clean, in the cupboards.

"you know we have a maid, right, darling?" kol leaned against the counter, watching as i put away my plate.

i shrugged, "i don't pay her, so it feels rude. plus, i'm fully capable of doing it myself."

kol simply smiled at me. his eyes lingered on mine, and his gaze became distant, "you're very...kind. i forgot- i missed how kind you are."

i blushed at the compliment. "oh, don't give me a big head-"

"seriously, darling," kol cupped my waist, pressed his forehead against mine. i felt small, shy under his close gaze and continued appreciations. "you are the purest soul i've ever met. through it all- through everything my family's put you through. i will never be able to show you how grateful i am. i have needed someone like you, you and your kindness, for a thousand years. i have been waiting for it. and i hope i never know another day without it."

there was some poetic justice- eternal love. deep, soul-binding admiration. forever, literally.

my world shifted a little.

i kissed kol sweetly, unable to find words. he was becoming a great man. and it made me happy i had some influence on that.

kol and i made our way to the living room, lazily. we had no plans, we had nowhere to go or be. it was peaceful. all we wanted to do was go back to bed, laze around for another day or five. 

but, then, klaus was there, sitting on the furthest couch, looking distant and solemn, as per usual. elijah sat across from him and he nursed his coffee. they both looked up as we entered.

klaus seemed to have something on his mind. i had learned how to read him and his different pouts.

"what's wrong?" i asked, dropping kol's hand.

klaus sighed and pulled his hand from beneath his chin, where it was leaning. "just...rebekah. i cant help but feel guilty."

"you should-" kol started. i held a hand up and he lowered his tensed shoulders.

"don't blame yourself. it's mainly our fault. but, it's okay. forgiveness is always possible," i assured klaus.

"im just worried she's getting worse.  everyday, more and more of her humanity slips away."

a wave of sadness crushed my rose colored glaze. i wrapped my arms around my stomach. it had been a few days since i'd seen her, but i didn't expect for it to get this bad. bad enough that even klaus was worried.

"should i see her?" i frowned.

elijah glanced up at me, "i don't think it would hurt anything. maybe today will be the day..."

"you say that everyday," klaus spoke, annoyed.

"no sense in not trying," elijah was calm, though his brother's tone was ferocious. "go

, y/n. i'll come with you. kol- stay here."

"what? that will not be happening. rebekah is strong-"

"if she sees you, she'll be pissed," i set a hand on his shoulder, "you'll risk my safety more if you come."

kol's face, hardened by elijah's dismissal, slowly relaxed at my touch. i flashed a reassuring smile. then, i followed the elder mikaelson into the dark, dank hallway leading to rebekah's prison cell.

outside of it, he gave me yet another vile of vampire blood. i cringed at the penny-like taste on my tongue, the thick liquid sliding down my throat like tar. the taste never got any better.

i wondered if it were different as a vampire...i know kol liked the taste, for whatever reason. maybe it became like a hot cup of coffee for them, like a cold glass of whiskey in the evening. maybe it didn't matter so much when you're able to live forever- human blood was just another a singular piece of sand in a thousand years' of deserts and beaches.

elijah took the vial from me, tossed it in a trash can in the corner. i watched it fall into the bin, a small droplet i had left behind splashing against the side of it. a stain against the white trash bag. my eyes lingered, head spacing out as the droplet slid down the side of the bag. elijah touched my arm. i looked at him, a little jolted.

he furrowed his brows, "are you alright? we do not have to do this now, if you're not up for it."

i pressed my hand to my forehead and felt some sweat on my brow. "no, it-its okay. i'm just-" i huffed as the words wouldn't form.

elijah squeezed my arm, "dont fight it, y/n. the answers lie within you- but you can't push them away by running around the problem in your mind. let go."

i took a deep breath. i didn't know- at least, not consciously. and it killed me. i needed to know. i needed to understand and comprehend and come up with a million anecdotes. but, as he instructed, as the breath released my lungs, i let the worries peel away. right now, i was going to devote my thoughts, my heart, to rebekah.

elijah opened the door, held it open for me as i shuffled in. as i lifted my gaze from the ground, i skidded to a stop, my back crashing against elijah's. he set another comforting hand on my arm, steadying me. but, i could not have been more horrified by the sight before me. nothing could comfort me from the way rebekah looked.

she was desiccating. she had been refusing to drink human blood so much that her body was starting to shut down. all over her skin, blackened veins stuck out like sore thumbs- lifeless, still against her body. her blonde hair was beyond matted, with clumps of it strewn across the room. the tip of her forehead, where her hairline began, was bloodied, scabbing. she must've been ripping out her hair, day after day. her body was caked with dirt, too, making her already grey skin look like she had been drug through the mud. and, the worst of it- her eyes.

they were- they weren't eyes. they were just orbs of meaningless space. they stared, straight ahead, though i don't think they were really looking at anything. the usual blue of her beautiful gaze was dark red, bleeding, slowly draining of any life.

rebekah sat against the wall, legs strewn out before her. i pressed into elijah, feeling vomit approaching my throat. but, as soon as the nausea hit me, it was gone. the vampire blood in me tore away any achilles heels i could've possibly my body i felt strong- but i was still upset. tears tickled the tops of my cheeks, my bottom lip wobbling.

elijah mode beside me, towering over my shaking frame with concern. "y/n?" he whispered, half-shielding me from her, "we can go back now. we don't have to-"

"i do," i pushed his arm away, gently, taking a hesitant step forward. rebekah continued staring, right past my shoulder. she was almost in a psychosis.

i approached her, and as i got closer, i noticed the deep cuts from the chains around her wrists and ankles. blood caked her skin in those areas, and her bone was nearly visible from her left wrist. i bit both of my lips, shuddering more. but, i rolled back my shoulders and continued. i crouched down until i was lowered onto my knees. the floor was cold against my leggings. it sent goosebumps across my skin.

i was barely a foot away from rebekah. but she was still was not looking at me. "bekah?" i spoke, carefully, "its me- i-its y/n. i don't know if you can hear me- i'm sorry if i'm bothering you, again. i know how much you like your space," i laughed, tearfully. "i just wanted to say- well, i actually don't know what i want to say. i don't know what to say anymore. but i- i want to give up. thats what i want to do. i want to give up. i want to forget about you and go live my life. i have wasted- no, that sounds rude. you're not a waste- but, no. you know what? you are, just a little bit. i have wasted my entire summer, the summer after i graduated high school, on you. wasted it on pointless conversations, where i continuously beg for your forgiveness. and you insult me, or ignore me, or attack me, try to drink my blood, try to behead me. well guess what? anything i did to you is nothing compared to this. this is unfair. this is- this is cruelty! kol asked me today if i wanted him to turn me. and, you know what? i do. i want to spend forever with him. but i also want to spend it with you. but, this- this is not what i want. i don’t want to be like you. i’m going to be better! i will be better!"

i was growing angrier by the second. i stood up from my knees, began pacing the room. spit flew from my mouth, foul words from my lips. "you dont even feel guilt, or-or pain, for god's sake. you're just sitting there, like a fucking doll, while everyone else is on their hands and knees, breaking their fucking backs for you! you make me want to hate you, you make me want to hate vampires! i never, ever want to become you. i never want to become this! not if this is what i will be! a cold-hearted, emotionless bitch who doesn't even care that her best friend is wasting her life away on you."

i ran out of words to say. my chest heaved up and down with pure rage. i was sucked in air like i was being depraved of life. with a shaking hand, i pushed the hair from my face. from the corner of my eye, i noticed rebekah's head had turned. she was looking directly at me. her eyes met mine. i sucked in a breath and turned around to face her completely, hands still atop my head. they slowly fell to my sides.

there, somewhere deep in her expression, folded in her gaze, was the slightest, tiniest fragment of that deep blue ocean. and, as the water drowned her eyes, a singular tear slipped from it's duct, rolling down her cheek. elijah suddenly stepped forward and i looked to him with concern. 

"rebekah?" he questioned, pulling his hands from his pockets.  she flicked her eyes towards him. "rebekah, are you in there?"

another tear fell.

elijah rushed to his knees before her, wrapping his arms around her back so he could steady her position. i stayed still, standing over them, unsure of what to do. "rebekah, rebekah, its alright. stay still were going to get you healed in no time. y/n, hurry, go retrieve blood bags from the upstairs closet. ask kol, he'll show you where they are!"

i hesitated, my head emptied of reason or conscious decisions. elijah looked up at me, urgency in his eyes, in his tone, "hurry! go! she's in massive amounts of pain!"

he looked back to his sister and quickly unlocked her cuffs. she slumped further into his embrace, head lolling against his shoulder. her gaze was still distant, but tears freely rolled from her eyes. i breathed, deep, and centered my thoughts. i crouched before them, onto my knees again. i rolled up the sleeve of my sweatshirt.

"elijah," i spoke, calm, finally, "here."

he met my eyes, glanced down at my wrist, blue veins pulsing at the tip of my skin. he shook his head, "nonsense! she'll kill you!"

"no, she wont," i shook my head, "shed never kill me. i want to do this for her. please let me," i pushed closer, shoving my arm towards them.

elijah huffed, but hesitantly came to the conclusion i wanted. he lifted rebekah's head towards my wrist. stiffly, she pressed her lips against my skin. they were freezing cold. i shivered. she met my eyes, just as her fangs protruded from her teeth, just as her eyes turned red and her expression went dark.

i winced as she pierced my wrist, and squirmed as i felt the blood being sucked from my veins. elijah held onto her tightly, even as the color slowly moved back through her skin. her hair fell around her shoulders in it's full, blonde waves. the torture on her wrists and ankles covered itself with fresh skin, cold and pale.

elijah grew nervous as she kept feeding. "rebekah, thats enough."

she kept going, for a second longer, and just as he went to reprimand her again, she drew her head back. she closed her eyes, face to the ceiling, as blood trickled from the corners of her mouth. she wiped away with a strong hand. elijah touched her back worriedly. she slowly, surely, let her head fall straight, lids peeling themselves open. she met my gaze first.

her eyes were blue. so blue, so oceanic, so full of fierce waves. i gasped as our gaze clashed, as the slowest, goofiest grin split across her face. poor elijah couldn't get out of the way fast enough before rebekah leaped across the space between us and tackled me into a hug.

-

a month later.

“are you ready?”

kol towered above me, that devious smirk beholding his sharp features. he held out that steady hand, an enticingly sweet offer at his fingertips. i eyed his palm as if i were weighing my options and drug my gaze up to his eyes.

“as i’ll ever be.” i lay my hand gently in his. he tugged me to my feet.

and we began the transformation.

the past month i had spent mourning my life as a human.

i’d visited home, where i bid farewell to my parents. kol compelled them to forget me unless i ever came to visit. as far as they knew, i never existed.

i remember feeling only an ounce of sadness when we cleaned out my room. but, when my bed was carried away, to the truck downstairs, one of kol’s old hoodies peeked out from its hiding spot. the happiness i felt from my new life replaced any remorse i had for my old one.

i even visited jeremy. i knew he would be beyond angry if i told him what was really happening. so, i just told him i was moving to europe. he seemed happy for me.

caroline was. she helped us move my things and was staying in new orleans for the transformation. she was the one person i knew who was an expert at gaining control and keeping it. i wanted her there for every step of this journey.

when we settled back with my things in the compound, my newfound family spent every waking moment ensuring my mortal life felt fulfilled. there wasn’t much you could do as a human that you couldn’t as a vampire- but they tried their best. we celebrated my final mortal birthday party in paris. i basked in the sun each and every moment, tanned my skin peacefully before i’d know a life of paled existence.

but i was more than excited for all i could do once i transformed.

elijah had already been lecturing me, day after day, of what was to come. rebekah, more than once, expressed her doubts, her regrets. but, overall, i knew they wanted me to transform. always and forever didn’t mean anything if i died before them.

besides, kol owed me forever to make up for what i’d waited through. and i knew he intended to fill every second with fulfilled apologies and secure promises.

that’s why i took his hand.

that’s why i drank his blood.

i was nervous, of course.

my hands were shaking, and my heart raced, as he kept his eyes on mine. he softly wrapped his fingers around my throat, holding my neck as loosely as he could.

his eyes were soft, unsure. “darling, you have a choice-“

“i choose you,” i cut him off with a soft shake of my head. i grinned again.

kol sniffled, “how lovely it is to hear that from your lips.”

he snapped my neck.

and i woke up in forever.

hi y’all i’ve been not great lately but i wanted to check in so u knew i wasn’t dead lollll

im posting the last part of my kol fic by tomorrow.

and then i have another one already started :,)

love you all

final part of best friend’s brother out soooo soon!

i’ve rewritten it three times so i apologize for the lateness hehe