Doctor: What word do you associate with medical students’ self-care?
Student: Deficient.
[Hiatus Notice]
Although I still have some time before my holidays starts, my queue has ended and I currently don’t have the time to replenish it.
See you in... idek, maybe July 31st? (or maybe earlier)
(Sorry for the sudden news)
“In order to make the most out of going to the toilet, children must not have any toys, iPads, notes for tomorrow’s test...”
“Laxatives only work if the child isn’t scared to go to the toilet. Butt pain is very important problem that we have to take seriously.”
“Anal fissures are truly painful, does anyone here have a personal experience that they may want to share?”
Student 1: It was the biggest fontanelle I have felt in my life, it was huge.
Student 2: How many fontanelles have you actually touched?
Student 1: ... like four. My point still stands, though.
“Unlike adult surgery, where you see the same thing many times, pediatric surgery is full of very different things that don’t repeat very often.”
“I want you to save these images in your limbic system, in your hippocampus... dream about testes descending.”
Pediatric surgeon.
“White abdomens are scary, because we have no idea what the hell is in there.”
Radiologist, about abdominal x-rays.
Doctor 1: ... and that’s the physiopathology of paradoxical aciduria.
Doctor 2: I see this lecture every year and I still can’t believe a surgeon actually remembers all that.
“Being a radiologist is more fun than it sounds like, believe me!”
*while practicing otoscopy on Student 2*
Student 1: Ewww...
Student 2: Gee, thanks.
Student 1: Sorry, it’s not that your ear in particular is gross, it’s just that ears gross me out.
“It helps you a lot if you want to become a parent, and, if you don’t, it’s a great contraceptive.”
“Children are not tiny adults.”
Every pediatrician ever.
I finally found out why the Heimlich maneuver is so difficult for me.
I have boobs.
P.S. If anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
“It’s the best of both worlds, I get to enjoy babies, but I can also go hide in my cave when it’s time to deal with the parents.”
Pediatric radiologist.
“How the hell did that Shigella not solve the fecaloma?”
Student 1: Y’know, I got that coughing fit when sitting next to you, I must be allergic.
Student 2: Allergic? You just choked on your spit, girl!