by Not Vntina

T.W. (via the-perfect-aesthetic)

dear Z,

I used to read stories about men like you. Charming, manipulative guys who never get told no and seem to have all their shit together. Guys who break countless hearts and then one day miraculously find someone worth settling down for yet treat them like utter shit.

I never actually thought those guys existed. But here you are.

When I first met you I’ll admit I was mesmerised by your looks. You’re literally the most handsome man I have ever seen, there’s no point denying it. But you didn’t have the personality to match. Simply put, you were a dick. You were cocky, arrogant, ignorant, and you flirted with every single attractive woman that you laid eyes on.

You flirted with me, too. And I liked it. It was nice getting attention from the popular, hot, fuckboy who had an entire family business waiting for him. I didn’t think anything would come of it so I flirted back. And for a while, things were nice. We had this banter that people were shocked to hear. I was rude to you in the most playful way possible and while other people who heard it thought I was out of my mind for speaking to you like that, you would laugh and respond with something just as witty and flirty.

I would even go as far as saying we were friends. Good friends. And apparently that was a big deal because the legendary Z never had girl friends. And again, that made me feel special.

You were nice to me but rude to everyone else. You listened to what I had to say. You stood up for me. You spoke about me to your friends. You made me fall for you hard.

You were the first to confess your feelings and I was over the moon. We dated. And it was a big deal. Everyone was talking about it. And you seemed so happy to show me off and serenade me with gifts in public and tell your friends all about us.

But all it took was a week for you to cheat on me. And I forgave you. And then you did it again. And I forgave you again.

And we went through this endless cycle of you fucking up and then begging for forgiveness and me taking you back with open arms, acting like you weren’t tearing me apart.

You told your family about me and told me that I’m the first girl you’ve ever introduced to them and then made me feel bad for not telling my family about you.

You made me feel like shit all the time. But in the mornings I would always wake up beside your naked body completely forgetting what it was that you did wrong.

We broke up after almost two years. On ‘good terms.’ We keep in touch. You text me every now and then making sure I’m ok and checking up on how I’m going. I talk to you like you’re an old friend. You still invite me to all your parties even though I never show up.

But I want you to know I’m mad. I’m mad I never got to yell at you for treating me like shit. I’m mad I never got the chance to call you what you are, an manipulative, abusive asshole. I’m mad because you got away with putting me through hell. I’m mad because we broke up to focus on ourselves and our careers before focusing on someone else. I’m mad because you still have this idea in your head that when we’re both stable, we’ll come back to each other and get married and live happily ever after.

I’m mad because you’ve changed, for the better. You’re not a dick anymore. And I’m mad because I know the moment you ask, I’ll be right back in your arms.

Z.

Dear everyone,

social anxiety exists. it’s not just being over dramatic. no it’s not that easy for us to just talk to other people. you can’t get angry at us or yell at us because we behave the way we do. we’re trying really hard but our mind won’t let us act normal. why don’t you get that?

-someone with a menal health issue

Dear S, 

You call me.

On the first ring, I look at the phone. 

On the second ring, I hate you. 

On the third ring, I hate myself. 

On the fourth, I pick up. 

- R

e.s. (via neutral)

A.M.// I would’ve done anything for you (via tullipsink)

(via tullipsink)

Jodie Picoult, Nineteen Minutes (via thelovejournals)

(via lomasdope)

A.d.c (via 11anothergirl11)

his name echoes in my head all day long