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Hincklo

@hawkeyepl

-AAAAAAAA Can something exist in nothing AAAAAAAA-
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YOU THINK I’M JOKING BUT I’M DEAD SERIOUS

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one day this comic will reach a million notes and then i’m going to quit my job and become a couch

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Huh? What’s this? I don’t remember ordering something that big.

Oh, it’s a sofa? I already have one, though…

Hang on, my job sent me this? Is this some sort of bonus or something?

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Huh??? It’s empty?? Then why was it so heavy…

Oh hang on what’s this?

I’m not sure I can reach it…

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Oh crap!!!!

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Everyone who isn’t reblogging this version is a coward and a villain

Practical tip for those dealing with wildfire smoke now: you can make a very effective air filter for a reasonable amount of money using a box fan & one of those filters meant for your furnace.

Also, I've managed to pick up 2 of the box fans for very cheap/free from yard sales. Make sure you get a filter rated for wildfire smoke, I think this one cost about $20.

These make a huge difference in the indoor air quality.

Posting again because of the fire situation up in Canada and resulting smoke. If you're dealing with wildfire smoke, these are surprisingly effective and relatively cheap.

Just tape the filter to the fan, making sure the air can't sneak around the edges. I used painter's tape, but I'm sure duct tape or similar would work just as well.

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⚠️ ROAD WORK AHEAD ⚠️

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________________ SPEEDING FINES DOUBLED WHEN WORKERS PRESENT —————————

|           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           |

⚠️ ROAD WORK 500FT ⚠️

|           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           |

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

        🚚 🚚                  🔩               🧰   🕳️   🪚       📋          🛠️       🔨               🏗️  🕳️                     🔧                                                     🚚 🔩      🔩                      🔩                             

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

|           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           |

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⚠️ END ROAD WORK ⚠️

how does this only have 1400 notes

end road work? aw fuck i hope this car flies

here

🎈🎈🎈🎈        🚗

☁️                               ☁️

         ☁️ ☁️

                                  ☁️

                       ☁️             🦅    ☁️

     ☁️

                             ☁️

                ☁️                           ☁️

                                                 ☁️

   ☁️

                   ✈️

         ☁️                             ☁️

                             ☁️

    ☁️

                            ☁️

               ☁️                           ☁️

                                               ☁️

                                            ☁️                              ☁️

    ☁️                      ☁️

     ☁️                                     ☁️

                            ☁️

          ☁️                             

                            ☁️

   ☁️

                           ☁️

                                              ☁️

                                            ☁️

                   ☁️

                                                                               ☁️

         ☁️                            

  ☁️

                          ☁️

☁️

                      ☁️                ☁️

    ☁️

                            ☁️

               ☁️                           ☁️

                                               ☁️

  ☁️

      ☁️                             ☁️    ✈️

                            ☁️

   ☁️

                           ☁️

              ☁️                           ☁️

                                            ☁️

                                           ☁️                             ☁️

   ☁️                     ☁️

    ☁️                                     ☁️

                           ☁️

         ☁️                            

                           ☁️

  ☁️

                          ☁️

                                             ☁️

                                         ☁️

                  ☁️

                                                          🦅                      ☁️ 

        ☁️                            

 ☁️

                         ☁️

Someone add do you love the color of the sky

Someone do NOT do that, I’ll kill you with my flying car

I don’t have the original but I have this. Kill me.

I’m going to hurt all of you

Good to know we all are hellspawns with the same mindset

Welcome to hellsite, babes

Take a fuckin sip

you’re all insane

I think this is the longest post on this site

I AM

SOBBING

MOBILE USERS IM SO SORRY

The Vast

here have another bitchy addition

SOMEONE QUICK! ADD THE BEE MOVIE SCRIPT ONE

Yes that one thank you

You’re welcome

the site or app is probably gonna crash from trying to load all the images im not even sorry you must suffer with me

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⚠️ ROAD WORK AHEAD ⚠️

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________________ SPEEDING FINES DOUBLED WHEN WORKERS PRESENT —————————

|           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           | |           ||           |

⚠️ ROAD WORK 500FT ⚠️

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🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

        🚚 🚚                  🔩               🧰   🕳️   🪚       📋          🛠️       🔨               🏗️  🕳️                     🔧                                                     🚚 🔩      🔩                      🔩                             

🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧🚧

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⚠️ END ROAD WORK ⚠️

how does this only have 1400 notes

end road work? aw fuck i hope this car flies

here

🎈🎈🎈🎈        🚗

☁️                               ☁️

         ☁️ ☁️

                                  ☁️

                       ☁️             🦅    ☁️

     ☁️

                             ☁️

                ☁️                           ☁️

                                                 ☁️

   ☁️

                   ✈️

         ☁️                             ☁️

                             ☁️

    ☁️

                            ☁️

               ☁️                           ☁️

                                               ☁️

                                            ☁️                              ☁️

    ☁️                      ☁️

     ☁️                                     ☁️

                            ☁️

          ☁️                             

                            ☁️

   ☁️

                           ☁️

                                              ☁️

                                            ☁️

                   ☁️

                                                                               ☁️

         ☁️                            

  ☁️

                          ☁️

☁️

                      ☁️                ☁️

    ☁️

                            ☁️

               ☁️                           ☁️

                                               ☁️

  ☁️

      ☁️                             ☁️    ✈️

                            ☁️

   ☁️

                           ☁️

              ☁️                           ☁️

                                            ☁️

                                           ☁️                             ☁️

   ☁️                     ☁️

    ☁️                                     ☁️

                           ☁️

         ☁️                            

                           ☁️

  ☁️

                          ☁️

                                             ☁️

                                         ☁️

                  ☁️

                                                          🦅                      ☁️ 

        ☁️                            

 ☁️

                         ☁️

Someone add do you love the color of the sky

Someone do NOT do that, I’ll kill you with my flying car

I don’t have the original but I have this. Kill me.

I’m going to hurt all of you

Good to know we all are hellspawns with the same mindset

Welcome to hellsite, babes

Take a fuckin sip

you’re all insane

I think this is the longest post on this site

I AM

SOBBING

MOBILE USERS IM SO SORRY

The Vast

here have another bitchy addition

SOMEONE QUICK! ADD THE BEE MOVIE SCRIPT ONE

Yes that one thank you

You’re welcome

the site or app is probably gonna crash from trying to load all the images im not even sorry you must suffer with me

Did Roy ever find his boyfriend?

he did

happy for him

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YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART THEY ADOPTED A DAUGHTER NAMED TANGO BECAUSE IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO!!!! This is them:

and they even had a book written about them:

guys Tango found a girlfriend :’)

Cleansing your dash… now!

World Heritage Post

lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own

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“God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.” We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.

I’ve been doing this for years

It’s all on a google doc of mine (x)

“Kill me. Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars that you won.” -fucking Warrior Cats

We live in a socie-

Wait wait you forgot the mushroom post “you can’t kill me in a way that matters” +the following uhhhh 1 sec

I find the mushroom post :)

sorry

sorry

Can we go ahead and add “one day you’ll decompose, and I’ll be there to watch it happen” to the list please

“There is not enough time to make all the things one’s imagination can conjure” - @reyndesign

World Heritage Post

the GRINCH X TONY THE TIGER Fanfic is live on ao3! hope this causes you all tremendous distress 😘

monthly subscribers can skip ahead to the next chapter

actual real things about this fic:

  • the Grinch is nonbinary & uses they/them pronouns
  • the Grinch is autistic
  • it takes place in the Jim Carrey movie universe, so the Grinch has two lesbian moms
  • (side note, in the movie it was implied the grinch was conceived at a swinger’s holiday party, but we don’t have to talk about that)
  • tony was a professional athlete who had a lucrative career appearing on cereal boxes
  • tony the tiger is divorced w/ kids
  • the Grinch is in therapy

I am sending this to all my friends gaud.

there are over 300 comments on the fic so far, and i’m reading all of them, and i have to say my favorite comments on the ones where people are sharing this with family and friends. sometimes out of spite, sometimes earnestly. 

thank you for spreading me around like the invasive fungus i so truly am

I submitted it to my english teacher (our assignment was to find a well written work to share on the internet)

…I am absolutely frothing at the mouth to know your teacher’s response please

this is it

this was beyond my wildest dreams actually much thanks

UPDATE:

i am having the BEST month

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better:

i am now feral. i have gone feral. i am leaning a little pile of stick again a tree, soon i will nap beneath them, they will collapse on me during the next rainstorm

World Heritage Post

HERE’S THE THING THOUGH

I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click

And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”

So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is

“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”

I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:

“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”

I accidentally called the director of the FBI.

My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.

This is my new favourite story.

When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.

There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server. 

The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors. 

During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”

So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound. 

I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.

So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…

“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”

It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.

There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.

The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring. 

Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.

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But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.

Seriously, this is legit.

In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted.

Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line.

And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no.

Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, 'The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.

And then, it got better.

“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.
“Dad said, 'What is that?’ They say, 'Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, 'This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, 'Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.

For real.

“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, 'Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”

So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.

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“chuffed doesnt mean what you think it means”

image

it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing

what the hell

This makes me really chuffed

This post is quite egregious

Well I’m nonplussed by this whole post.

goddamnit.

all of you go to hell

And you wonder why i am boggled at times

These are called contronyms! A word that is its own opposite.

Why the fuck do these exist

One theory is that the sarcastic use of the word became exceedingly prevalent and because another dictionary definition. 

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English: the language that pretty much sounds like it’s making things up as it goes

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

I don’t believe in this stuff but… @hellsite-hall-of-fame Heritage Post.

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

BURN BAGEL BURN

OH WHY NOT?

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I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.

Bagel what are your powers

FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.

THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

I got a job offer after reblogging the bagel. Believe in the bagel!

🙏🏼

Worth a try lol

i could use some good news or even a good girl 

Go lil bagle! Show me your power!

Okii then!

THIS IS THE FIRST THING ON MY BLOG

I GOT ASKED OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER I REBLOGGED IT